by Premchand
‘How does that concern you? Take out the ball. I will defeat you in playing ball too.’
‘If you hurt yourself, you will run into trouble unnecessarily and I will be held responsible for providing first aid. For God’s sake, forget it for the moment.’
‘After all, if anybody gets hurt, it will be me. You do not stand to lose anything in all this. Why are you so reluctant to take out the ball?’
Naim took out the ball and Chakradhar began to play under the hot afternoon sun. Every time he fell to the ground, the audience would clap but he was so engrossed in his game that he hardly noticed this. Just then, he saw Lucy coming outside. Delighted, he smiled broadly and played with greater enthusiasm. Nevertheless, every time he aimed a kick at the ball, he would miss. Even when he managed a kick it turned out fruitless. Someone or the other would effortlessly kick the ball high up in the air and he would claim, ‘Were I to hit forcefully, the ball would go higher up in the air.’ But what was the point of all this? For a couple of minutes, Lucy stood laughing at his foolish behaviour, and then addressed Naim, ‘Well, Naim! What has come over this pandit? Every day he seems to put on a display of some sort. Has he gone off the handle?’
‘That is exactly as it seems.’
That evening, when everyone returned to the boarding house, Chakradhar’s friends got together and complimented him, ‘Yaar, you are very fortunate! We kicked the football with so much gusto, yet nobody appreciated our effort. Everybody praised you—especially Lucy—she said that she has seen very few Indians play as elegantly as you. She said you play like the accomplished players of Oxford. She was very happy to see you on the field.’
‘Did she say anything else? Tell me the truth. What did she have to say?’
Naim spoke up, ‘Oh come on! Now don’t compel me to speak my mind. It seems as though you have been playing stealthy games. You are an incredibly crafty chap! We people merely stood by gazing while you walked away with the trophy. No wonder you showed up in new colours every day. Now matters seem to have cleared themselves. You are certainly a very fortunate man.’
‘I kicked the ball exactly as it was mentioned in the handbook.’
‘No wonder you won the game then! Are we in any way below par? But how can we match our looks with yours?’
‘Stop making a fool of me. I am not that handsome!’
‘But that is quite evident from the end result. We take such pains to fuss over our appearance but nothing favourable comes about—but you look radiant and have received great benefits without having had to spend a dime.’
‘Did she say anything else?’
‘No, she did not say anything else. But I did notice that she stood watching you quite intently.’
Chakradhar’s joy knew no bounds; his heart swelled with pride—those who saw his radiant countenance committed it to memory. Nevertheless, he had as yet to pay a dearer price for the immense ecstasy he experienced. The session was about to come to an end and his friends harboured a desire to have a treat at his expense. It was a matter of minimal deliberation. On the third day he received yet another billet-doux.
The time for separation is fast approaching. I can only wonder at the distances that will keep us apart. I would have liked to have a celebration in honour of our everlasting love for one another. If the expense is a burden on you, I am willing to take on the responsibility entirely myself. My friends will accompany me for the celebrations. The students and the professors of the college will also be invited. If only your religion and your lifestyle and my parents would acquiesce to one another, there would be no need for us to be so disheartened. Goodbye!
Yours,
Lucy
Chakradhar was thrilled to receive the letter. He said to his friends, ‘Let us get together over dinner before we part ways. Let us invite Miss Lucy also.’ However, he was short of funds. His family was quite perplexed over his unreasonable demands for money. But Chakradhar’s sense of decorum could not permit him to face the embarrassment of making Lucy bear the expenses of the party. He would rather die than suffer such ignominy. He made all sorts of pretentious excuses and got his wife’s people to send him the cash. Grand preparations were under way for the party. Invitation cards were printed; new liveries were purchased for the waiters; orders were placed for English as well as Indian cuisine. The English fare was ordered from the Cankas Hotel. This saved much trouble. The cost was rather high, nevertheless, things became quite convenient for Naim and his friend Girdhar who would otherwise be put through much trouble. Girdhar was responsible for the preparation of the Indian cuisine.
The preparations went on for two entire weeks. Naim and Girdhar went to college only to enjoy themselves. They were not concerned about their academic performance. All they did was while away their precious little time. It was suggested that a poetic symposium be conducted after the party. Invitation cards were distributed among the poets. To cut a long story short, all the arrangements were made to host a grand party. All his friends had a great time at the party to which they dragged a couple of ladies. Naim also managed to convince Lucy to accompany him.
However, it is sad to say the outcome of the party was in no way advantageous for Chakradhar. The wretched fellow was destined to suffer even more embarrassment and humiliation at the end of the term. His friends were merely interested in having a good time but poor Chakradhar nearly died with shame. He thought to himself, The time for parting is close at hand. Perhaps we may never meet again. What better occasion might I have to declare my feelings? Why shouldn’t I pour my heart out to her? Chakradhar’s restive sensibilities, overwhelmed with the desire to confess, were raring to discharge themselves. Around him, people were having dinner but he sat quietly in a corner, craving to fulfil his desire. Why stand on ceremony now? Why hold back now? Why not give voice to grievance? Why weep silently? As he sat by himself, Chakradhar fortified himself with such thoughts and waited for an opportune moment. When the party was over, paan and cardamom had been distributed and farewell speeches had been delivered; Lucy too addressed the gathering in her melodious voice. Then as the poetry symposium gathered momentum, Chakradhar moved behind Lucy quietly and accosted her on the way. Seeing him approach her, looking quite bewildered and stupefied, Lucy thought something dreadful had happened. She said: ‘Well, Panditji, what is the matter? Why do you look so perturbed? Is everything all right?’
Chakradhar’s throat welled over with passionate feeling. He said plainly, ‘Now we will part ways for good. How can I endure separation from you? I fear that I might lose my emotional equanimity.’
A shocked Lucy responded, ‘What do you mean? Are you under the weather?’
‘Ah! Dear, darling! You ask whether I am under the weather. I am dying! I am dying! My life is at its lowest ebb.’ Having said this, he tried to grab hold of Lucy’s hand. At first she felt quite disconcerted by his frenzied reactions; then, beside herself with anger, she said sternly, ‘You have spoken to me insultingly. You will be sorry for this!’
‘Lucy! You are so indifferent and so unsympathetic at the end of the term! You have no idea how agonizing it has been for me to pass these days. My heart aches for you! Your letters gave me reason to live; without them, I would have died long ago!’
‘My letters? Letters I wrote? I did not write any letters!’
‘You forget so easily, dear, darling! Do not be so cruel. Your letters, so full of tender, loving feelings, will remain always in my memory. At your request I altered my appearance, gave up sandhya and havan and embraced the facets of your lifestyle. Do not play such cruel tricks on me. Place your hand on my heart and feel how it throbs.’
‘Have you had a peg too many? Or has somebody cracked a joke on you? I have not written you any letter. Get out of my way!’
But Chakradhar was still labouring under the delusion that his beloved was role-playing. He tried to hold her hand. By now she had lost her composure. She gave him a tight slap across his face and said sharply, ‘Idiot! Get out of my way or
else I will send for the police constable!’
Poor Chakradhar was still smarting under the shock of Lucy’s slap but she had already disappeared. He sat down right there and began recalling all the incidents sanctified to memory. Gradually it dawned upon him that his college buddies had probably pawned him to their travesties. In fact, he was sure they had! Else there was no reason for her to be so livid. Uff! The nasty fellows have heaped such dishonour on me! They have certainly deceived me! No wonder they look at me and smirk.
Seething with anger, he walked up to Naim and said, ‘You are a dreadfully callous, exceptionally mischievous, deceitful, ill-begotten and fraudulent man. You will suffer for this. You will die a dog’s death.’
‘Will you say something or merely curse me?’
Girdhar put in, ‘What is the matter? I hope you haven’t said anything to Lucy?’
‘I spoke to her. She slapped me. I feel utterly humiliated and disgraced. The two of you put your heads together to pull the wool over my eyes! I will have my revenge!’
‘What did you say to her?’
‘What did I say? I confessed my love! She turned around and slapped me so hard that I am still smarting up to the ears with pain. The ruthless lady has hands of steel!’
‘How disastrous!’ said Girdhar. ‘You are such a fool! Now we will have to suffer the consequences along with you. If she lodges a complaint with the principal, we will be left high and dry and if she informs an Englishman, we may find ourselves in dire straits. You are so stupid! Couldn’t you judge for yourself that all these were mere light-hearted gags?’
‘They must have been mere light-hearted gags for you. For me it is akin to dying. You people have cheated me to the tune of five hundred rupees! I will not pass the examination this year either. Even my reputation has been vilified. These were light-hearted gags! Indeed, these were mere light-hearted gags! I will get even with the two of you—and if I don’t, to be sure, God will punish both of you!’
Naim said, ‘Indeed, you have much time at hand to be angry with us. You can vent your anger at leisure. Now tell us what will happen if Miss Lucy informs the principal? All three of us will get suspension orders. We will also lose our jobs.’
‘I will confess the whole account, without holding back anything.’
‘Why, buddy, is this what friendship means to you?’ mocked Girdhar.
The poetic symposium continued all night. Naim and Girdhar pondered over a way out of their quandary. They would be in deep trouble if the principal was apprised about their prank. After all, the involvement of an Anglo-Indian could elicit the execution of tough measures against them. After much deliberation, it was decided that early the next morning, Naim and Girdhar would present themselves before Miss Lucy, apologize for their misdemeanour and admit whatever compensation she demanded.
Girdhar said, ‘I will not pay a penny.’
Naim remarked, ‘I do not have a penny to pay for my shroud.’
‘Then there is no point in going up to her. She will not accept our apology without compensation.’
Naim sounded apologetic. ‘Brother Chakradhar, for God’s sake, do not be obstinate at this point of time, or the three of us will have to pay dearly. Excuse all that has happened. The past cannot be altered. Think about the future.’
‘At the most we will be expelled, isn’t it? I will set up a shop. The two of you are doomed. You will suffer the consequences of your mischief. Uff! How you have cheated me!’
After a great deal of pleading and a lot of cajoling, Chakradhar finally agreed. Early in the morning, Naim went to Miss Lucy’s residence. On requesting an audience with her, he was informed that she was at the principal’s residence. Naim was in a mess. If the principal got to know of their pranks, he would no doubt, penalize them. All because of the wretched Chakradhar, they had got into such serious trouble. What did the coarse and uncouth fellow have in mind when he poured his heart out to Miss Lucy? Despite his hideous appearance, he harbours an aspiration to court the most gorgeous-looking person! The injustice of it all is that he has brought trouble upon us too. If I manage to meet Lucy on the way, perhaps she may not complain if I plead our case with her. If she is already at the principal’s house we have no hope. He got on to his bicycle and rode speedily towards the principal’s house. He rode at such a high speed that had he met with an accident, his chances of survival would have been negligible. Alas! He did not come across Lucy on the way. Having covered approximately half the distance, he began to feel disheartened. Nevertheless, he rode on. All of a sudden, he saw her as she was about to enter the portico of the principal’s residence. His heart skipped a beat. Loudly, he called out, ‘Miss Turner! Please wait.’
Lucy turned around and looked. Recognizing Naim, she stopped and asked him suspiciously, ‘I hope you have not come to plead on the pandit’s behalf! I am going to complain to the principal about his misconduct.’
‘In that case, you must first take a shot at me and Girdhar! Then you can do as you please.’
‘What have you done to injure me? That pandit has insulted me in a most despicable manner!’
‘Lucy, it is we who are responsible for all that happened. The poor pandit was set up by us. It is we who played the joke.’
‘You naughty boy.’
‘I speak the truth. We merely pawned him to our travesties. But we did not realize that he would take it so seriously and accost you. I entreat you, please forgive him—else the three of us will suffer gravely.’
‘Since you speak earnestly, I shall not complain to the principal. However, in the bargain, the pandit should make amends by holding his ears in front of me and pleading for forgiveness twenty times, and besides, he should pay me a hundred rupees as damages for his misbehaviour.’
‘Lucy, don’t be so harsh. Only think about his feelings. How I wish that you were not so beautiful.’
Lucy smiled. ‘One could learn the art of flattery from you.’
‘Then let us go back. I will have the damages paid to you but the first part of your bargain is harsh. Very harsh indeed! The poor fellow will commit suicide! But yes, in lieu of him, I can plead for forgiveness fifty times.’
‘You are like a hard-boiled egg. You have no sense of shame. I would like to see him humbled. The villain tried to take hold of my hand!’
‘Won’t you show any mercy?’
‘Not even a bit!’
There was no alternative. Naim took Lucy to the boarding house. When the suggestion was put to Chakradhar, the wretched fellow was totally distraught. He fell at Lucy’s feet and began to cry uncontrollably. Naim and Girdhar too were shamefaced about their pranks. Lucy felt sorry for them. She forfeited the first part of her bargain. In regard to the penalty, Chakradhar sent home a telegram feigning ill health and requesting a sum of money. He paid off Lucy to bring an end to the whole matter.
After this incident, college was on for another week. But nobody saw Chakradhar smile even once! Most of the time the wretched man’s brow seemed clouded over with a cheerless and fretful expression. The mere mention of Lucy’s name was sufficient to unleash a wave of feral rage.
Filled with contrition, Naim and Girdhar swore never to crack practical jokes again.
That year, Chakradhar could not clear the examination. Nevertheless, he did not return to college. Apparently, he went to Aligarh.
Translated from the Urdu by Fatima Rizvi
The Malevolent Baby
1
At long last, precisely that which had caused much apprehension came about—the very thing which had been bothering most members of the household, especially the woman who had just given birth. After three boys, a baby girl was born. The infant’s mother froze in the room of her lying-in, as did the father in the courtyard outside, and his ageing mother in the doorway. How unfortunate—how very unfortunate! Only God could tend to their well-being now! The infant was not a daughter, she was a demon. Was it necessary for the ill-fated wretch to be born in this household? If it had to be s
o, why wasn’t she born earlier? God forbid the birth of a malevolent baby, even in the household of the worst enemy!
The name of the infant’s father was Pandit Damodar Dutt; he was an educated man. He was employed in the education department. Nevertheless, how could he ignore the traditional belief, ingrained deep in his heart, that a girl child born subsequent to the third son is ill-fated, bringing about the death of either her father or her mother, or perhaps even herself. His aged mother began to drink water to rejuvenate herself and curse the newborn: ‘She is an ill-omened, black-faced child! I wonder what misfortune she will bring upon us. Had she been born to a barren woman, the mother would have felt blessed!’
Deep down in his heart, Damodar was also very concerned, but he explained to his mother, ‘Amma, there is no such thing as a malevolent baby. It is God’s will, which will be done. If He wills it, all will be well. Send for the professional women singers to sing joyous songs and celebrate or people will say that you were beside yourself with joy when the three sons were born but there is weeping and lamentation in the household because of the birth of a daughter.’
His mother responded, ‘Oh son! You don’t understand these things but I have suffered them first-hand; my own life is at its ebb. It was after the birth of a malevolent baby that your grandfather died. From then on, my heart has always sunk at the mere mention of the word.’
‘Is there anything one can do to avert this predicament?’
‘There are several ways, so to say, to resolve this quandary. If you ask the panditji, he will tell you about some solution or the other, but nothing will work. I had tried every remedy—the panditji became very rich but that which was destined did befall us. Now even the pandits are quite worthless; it no longer matters to them whether the person who pays for the performance of the sacrifice lives or not. All that matters is that they should be paid the fee for their services. (Softly.) The baby is not weak either. She is healthier than the three boys. She has big eyes, thin red lips, like the petals of a rose. She has a fair complexion, and a long tapered nose. The ill-omened child did not even cry when she was bathed; instead, she looked intently at everything around her. All these signs are not good.’