by Watkins, TM
To say that he was right was reasonably accurate. I told everyone that I was into country music and I was accepted without question. Now it was like I had always been around them, like I was a part of their family.
Be there for them, he said when I last went to see him. Be the family that they need, give them the grounding and keep them on the straight and narrow. It was like he already knew the challenges I was facing with these five men. Some were easy and some weren't. Like the one in front of me.
I took his hand and gripped it firmly.
“I'm here for you but if you want to be alone then that's okay too.”
When I went to move he held my hand tight, refusing to let go.
“Please stay.”
I nodded as he looked at me with pure pain in his eyes, his face was so sad. It was taking all my strength not to start blubbering like an idiot. Fraser took a deep breath and turned the handle, opening the door to Tyler's bedroom.
Nothing had changed. The room had been frozen in time, sitting the same for the past five years. The single bed was pushed up against the wall, unmade and a complete mess. Next to it was a bedside cabinet, made from the same wood as the bed frame. On the table was a lamp, a tourniquet and a pile of used needles.
Taking a tentative step over the threshold, I followed Fraser into what was clearly the largest room in the house. I thought that he slept in the master bedroom but as I looked around the room and saw the walk in robe, I realised I was wrong. His parents had given up this room, a room that should have been theirs for their son. The very same son that would one day murder them.
Fraser sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the draw of the bedside cabinet out. It was filled with unused needles, thankfully they still hand their caps on them. I walked through the piles of clothes and shoes trying to figure out how two brothers could be so far apart. Reese and I were so similar it was crazy yet for Fraser and Tyler it was like they were bred from different people.
I turned the light on for the walk in robe, another pile of clothes sitting in the far corner. A rat could have set up home in here and no one would be the wiser. To the side was a set of shelves, built into the wall it held the standard things like deodorant, aftershave, a few accessories, men’s magazines.
They were a little interesting, I carefully pulled out the small pile and looked through them, casting a casual glance to the television that was set up to the side of the cabinet. DVD's were stacked beside the player, I picked them up and frowned at the situation.
He was watching television or rather, the discs in the walk in robe. A small lounge chair sat opposite the screen and as I looked to the main door I understood why. It was so he couldn't be seen.
“What have you got there?”
I looked up from the pile of things in my arms, Fraser was leaning on the door frame. How would he react to this? Did he know already or was this a secret that Tyler had kept to himself? Was this the catalyst that set him off? Taking a deep breath I handed over one of the magazines and watched the shock cross Fraser's face. He didn't know.
Fraser moved closer and looked at the rest of the pile in my arms.
“Why didn't he tell someone?”
“Maybe he did.” I offered.
He shook his head.
“Mom and dad would have loved him regardless of whether he was straight or gay.”
Fraser huffed as he dumped them back onto the shelf.
“He probably thinks this is the reason I won't talk to him. He was an idiot like that.”
“It doesn't concern you that he's gay?”
“Nah. Life is too short to be worrying about things that have nothing to do with me.”
“Well then you should tell him that. Even if you write to him and maybe say that you have only just cleaned his room out and found things that he had kept a secret. Tell him that it isn't the reason for your silence, tell him that it was because of what he did that you refuse to speak to him.”
He nodded and pulled me into his arms, his hands making their way to my backside.
“Is this room giving you ideas?”
A sly grin crossed his face as he squeezed the flesh, kneading it his fingers.
“Can you handle the monster?”
I paused for a moment. It was certainly an interesting question.
“Only one way to find out.”
A minute later we were in the spare bedroom, the cover flung off the bed with recklessness. Fraser looked so damned hungry for the next few minutes it was like he hadn't had sex in weeks. So I guess me staying at Evan's last night had deprived Fraser of so many possibilities but surely one night without wouldn't make him like this? No, it was the anticipation of what might be.
“We'll take it easy, yeah?”
I nodded, lifting the shirt from his body. His breath hitched as my lips pressed to his chest, trailing kisses over him. The fabric of his jeans was tight, my hand pressed hard along the growing length. I was crazy, I had agreed to something that could leave me really sore for god only knows how long. But the anticipation of it, wondering what it was like, I couldn't escape it and I knew that I had to try it at least once. His finger had felt nice, surely a little more weight to it would too.
Fraser pulled my hand away and removed all but my underpants.
“You're so beautiful.” he whispered as his lips dragged over the curve of my neck.
His hands found my backside again, sliding under the soft material to knead the flesh. My heart was racing as he drew me closer to his body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and enjoyed the affection he lavished upon my neck and shoulder.
A jolt of ecstasy made me gasp, his fingers toying at the edge. Gently prising me apart, sliding into the moist heat and causing me to shudder as I gripped him tight. My lips pressed against his neck, sharp stubble prickled against the sensitive skin. I moaned as his finger pressed deep, another one soon joining it.
“You like that?” he growled in my ear.
I could only nod, unable to form any words. The heat in his voice made me want to give in to him, to give him everything he wanted.
His hands slid over my hips as he pulled away, slowly he kissed his way down my body. With my panties curled in his fingers he dragged them down my legs. His lips stopped at the apex between my thighs, nuzzling against the curls.
“You smell so good when you're aroused.”
I looked down at him, his eyes were bright with amusement as his tongue dragged over the top of my clit. Holy cow that was so damned sexy.
He stood and turned me to face the bed, tilting me so that I rested my head and arms on it.
“This ass.”
I could hear the mirth in his tone as he stood behind me, his fingers squeezing the abundant flesh.
“I love it.”
His breath was hot against my skin, as his tongue slid over my entire seam I flushed with heat. It felt like I was going to explode with pleasure, just from his tongue.
Fraser continued to pull me open, lavishing his tongue with his own desperation. I cried out his name when the ecstasy finally peaked, my body writhing from what had to be the most intense orgasm I'd ever had.
Firm hands held me tight, refusing to let me flop onto the bed. Wet lips sucked on the skin, slowly kissing over my thighs and ass. The sound of his belt being undone and the jeans hitting the floor was a wonderful sound, one that I really did enjoy. I whimpered as he rubbed himself through the fold and down through the seam. The sensation of his hard cock begging for entry was incredible, I wanted him to just push in and fuck me hard.
“On the bed, lay on your side.”
He settled onto the bed behind me, his hand reaching around to cup my breast as he nuzzled my ear.
“We need bigger mirrors.”
The one that we faced was roughly the size of the door it was glued to. It was on the inside of the door to the small wardrobe and was conveniently open for us to watch. Another thing I had never done before, this man was certainly opening my eyes to the w
onderful world of sex.
His head was lowered into the curve of my neck as his lips kissed over the skin, his fingers massaging my breast. I couldn't tear away from the view, I wanted to watch it all.
Fraser rolled back, returning with the sounds of a packet tearing and a lid being popped. Cold and wet fingers toyed with me, making me gasp.
“Don't tense up.”
I nodded as he positioned himself, the head pressing against me felt odd. He kissed the edge of my shoulder, soft and sweet which made me look at him.
“Relax baby.” he whispered.
My whole body paused as he pushed in, slow and steady. I'd never felt so alive as I did right then. I looked to the mirror, in particular to Fraser's face. His eyes were closed but I knew he was enjoying it. The pleasure on his face was intense.
I breathed with the ecstasy, feeling so incredibly full. My body stretched to accommodate him, though I wasn't sure how much of him. Fraser gripped my hip hard, his eyes opening with a wild need.
As he pushed further, his eyes were pinned to me, watching for any discomfort. But there wasn't any, I smiled at him and I knew that I had just made his day.
Slowly he dragged back out, with a gruff groan he slid back in. His hand still held me tight, pressing into the skin on my hips. The other pulled me closer, finding a path to my breast.
A heavy moan escaped me, his fingers gently tugging on my nipple. My body arched out as he moved his other hand up, toying with both breasts.
“Do you like that?”
“Yes.” I moaned, desperate for him to move a little faster.
One hand moved away, soon lifting my leg over his. He took my hand that had been wrapped around the back of his neck and placed it on my lower stomach.
“Open your eyes.”
I did as he commanded, watching as his hand pushed mine lower. Our fingers slipped deep through the folds, sliding over the skin. The view was too much for me and my body shuddered with euphoria.
“Fraser.” I breathed out as the orgasm flooded through me.
Instantly he pulled out, my eyes bolted open with the shock of the movement. I rolled onto my back and watched him toss the condom onto the bedside table.
“Everything okay?”
He nodded as he settled back onto the bed, this time in between my legs. I gasped when he pushed into me.
“Just close to being done and I want to go real fast baby.” he grinned hard as the words slipped over those very sexy lips.
Fraser lowered onto my body, moving hard and fast just as he said he would. Good old missionary sex, it had its moments.
“You were so tight.” his breath was heavy as he looked down to me.
He was on his forearms, his nose rubbing against mine as he continued his hard and fast love. If I was able to move after this it would be a miracle.
“Then you orgasmed. God.” his eyes rolled with a mighty grin. “I thought I was done.”
“Fraser.”
“Yeah babe.”
“Shut up.”
He chuckled and kissed me hard, groaning when he finally came.
When he withdrew I winced, feeling sore all over. Fraser flopped onto his back and dragged me into his arms. There we laid in the quiet of the afternoon in our post sex euphoria. Life had never been so good.
Chapter Nineteen
I was by the town car when I heard my name being yelled. Evan walking over looking like a grinning zombie. I handed the last of the bags to the fellow who was loading them onto the plane.
“So, how was things last night?”
Last night? Well, I had laid on the bed for hours, unable to wipe the mighty grin from my face. Fraser tended to Sahara's needs while I lazed back and enjoyed doing nothing. With Sahara settled we ate pizza on the bed, completely naked. With full bellies we lazed in the bath tub until we couldn't take it any longer, fornicating in the tub and against the vanity. I smiled and refrained from telling the entire truth.
“Fine. We packed up all of Sahara's stuff, ate pizza and went to bed.”
“Lame.” he groaned. “Ooh, big man's watching. Look at my moon walk.”
Then he started sliding his feet across the ground, I took a careful peek. Yes, Fraser was standing at the door of the plane, watching us. No, he wasn't impressed.
“Eden!” he called out.
Nice work Evan.
“That's great Evan, thanks for that. Maybe it could have waited until we were in the air and not so restricted to a schedule.”
“Bah!” he scoffed.
I smiled at him and turned, seeing that damned camera pointed at me again. Gritting my teeth and forcing a smile I walked to the stairs. Abigail and Frankie were talking about something, I dreaded to think of what crazy scheme they were up to. The last one had worked so well.
“Good morning ladies.”
Sahara was protesting about something, I could hear Fraser trying to figure out what was wrong. He was asking her, that was cute. Somewhere behind me I thought I heard my name but it was a feint sound drowned by a frantic father and an upset baby.
“What's wrong?”
One sniff and I could figure it out.
“For crying out loud Fraser, change her nappy.”
He sat on the seat looking bewildered, as I picked the child up out of the carrier I wondered if he was drunk. I set up the seat beside him, laying everything out and changed her nappy.
“What's going on Fraser?”
“Kevin called.” he said quietly.
My heart went thud and then there was no more as I waited with bated breath.
“She's mine.” he whispered with a soft smile.
And then the heart kicked back into life. I picked Sahara up and put her into his arms, pulling out a bottle to settle her down.
“Congratulations papa. It's been a hellish two weeks hasn't it?”
Fraser nodded as he looked down at Sahara, greedily suckling at the milk.
“I'm sorry I was such a bastard Eden.”
“You were stressed, it's okay.”
“No.” he frowned, shaking his head. “It's not okay. I wanted you and when I got you I was scared of losing you. Treating you like shit just because I thought it was better to push you away than lose you was wrong. It's going to be different, I promise. Starting today, completely new.”
I watched with pure fascination at this man, he pulled the bottle away before Sahara could suck in too much air, he put her up onto his shoulder to burp her but didn't bother with a cloth and when she finally belched up a storm he cooed over her. He told her that she was doing the Newton name proud.
“Who are you and what have you done with Fraser?”
He turned with a smile that I had never seen before, Sahara looked so tiny in his oversized hands.
“The old Fraser's gone baby, this one's here to stay.”
“Mm, interesting.”
Sahara yawned, complaining a little as her father put her back into the carrier.
“I have something for you.”
Fraser rummaged around in the baby bag as Sahara continued to grizzle. She was becoming a pre-bed time crier. Worse than Sahara's cries was the shrieking of Frankie, no doubt Curtis was doing something crazy.
“Okay so don't go freaking out but this was my mom's. I know that she'd love you to pieces and would be really happy that I want to give this to you. She'd probably clip me over the ear for being a dick to you but that's what moms are for, right?”
“Sure.” I said as I smiled.
There wasn't much else I could do, I hadn't lost a parent, let alone two of them. And a brother, he'd lost that freak as well. I looked down to Fraser's palm that was flat out, one gold band sat on it. It had diamonds set into a flattened top, several rows of little chips.
“Not the real thing, okay?”
I nodded as my heart thumped hard and fast, I was unable to speak.
“This is like a promise ring I s'pose.” his voice lowered as he slipped it onto my finger for a perfect fit. “
One day when life is not so hectic, we'll do the real thing. Then we'll be a family and you know...” he shrugged. “Have more kids.”
“We are a family already Fraser. Did you not realize that?”
Pained eyes looked up at me, even though the wounds were created so many years ago it was still so very raw.
“Four brothers who adore you and show their affection in their own special and terrible way, mothers, step-mothers, fathers and step-fathers. Managers and wives who are like surrogate parents. You've even got two sisters-in-law now, maybe one day you might have two more. Do you not see the love around you, the family that has always been there for you?”
“God, I hate you Eden.”
I chuckled and wiped the tear from his eye, pulling him in to kiss him.
“I hate you too Fraser.”
“Damn it baby, we lost the bet.”
I pulled away from the kiss to see Curtis standing near the door to the plane, Frankie in his arms.
“What bet?” I asked as I pulled the complaining baby from her carrier.
“We all placed bets to see when you'd be getting your freaky on.”
“And what did you bet?”
“A month from now.” Frankie pouted.
As Curtis set her to her feet, Jerry stuck his head through the door.
“Good morning everyone.” he said so bright and chipper. “Are we ready for a great year?”
“Sure am.” Curtis looked at Frankie, no doubt there was something wicked going on in his mind.
“Great. We're going to do some group shots, so if you boys don't mind stepping outside for a few moments.”
Everyone departed the plane, I took Sahara with me. She had settled more now that she was being held, preferring the warmth of a body and maybe even the beating heart. I was yet to read the baby books, saving them for the boring hours on the road. But considering that we were at week two and all was well, I'd say that we were doing just fine with her.