“I’m guessing this doesn’t happen often?” I replied.
“Oh, we get plenty of chancers wanting to watch.” She smiled. “We have to be careful who we let in.” She pointed her long red nail towards me. “I’ve done my research. Verified you volunteered at the LGBTQ+ sexual health clinic in Brighton, like you said.” She nodded at Will. “I know he’s a journalist, but I don’t think he’ll be writing any seedy stories for his photography magazine.”
“Unless it’s based on catching the right light for the money shot,” he replied as I nudged him with my hip.
Margot laughed before ushering me forward. “What’s your aim for all this?”
“I want to use the film as a tool to support young people to understand their sexuality, keep themselves safe and have a realistic view of sex.”
She studied me for a while before nodding. “I like the message,” she replied, “but you do realise that’s kind of what I do here.”
“I’ve seen some of your films and you’ve been an inspiration.”
“You’re stealing my gimmick,” she replied, cracking a bubble and chewing vigorously.
“Not stealing–”
“Hey, listen, Skye. I’m down for whatever helps young people struggling with their sexuality. In fact, I’m all for it, but I think you’ll find my films don’t fit the stereotype of seedy porn. I’m an artist at the end of the day. I like beautiful, sensual images because bodies are beautiful, bodies coming together are beautiful. I just didn’t find that when I was looking for the porn I wanted to watch myself.”
I turned to Will, his mouth was open slightly and he appeared transfixed by Margot. I nudged him in his ribs this time and he jerked forward. “Erm…is that why you went into porn then?”
She smiled and folded her arms. “I saw a gap in the market.” I nodded a bit too enthusiastically, understanding her completely. “You could say I like filling holes.”
Will laughed and pointed to her. “I see what you did there.”
“You’re not the only one with the jokes, Will.” She clapped her hands together. “So, are you ready for some hot sex?”
“Now?” he spluttered, and this encouraged more laughter.
“Right now.”
“Holy fuck,” he replied, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.
“It’s a closed set,” Margot said. “Do you realise how privileged you are to be here?”
“Yes,” I replied. “Of course we do.”
“I like your ideas and your intention.” She grabbed a bottle of water from a table behind us. “Take what you need from tonight, guys. Any questions just ask. Strictly no photos and please be respectful of the actors.”
“We appreciate it. Thanks for having us.”
“I wouldn’t have just anyone,” she said softly. “But you’ve been hanging out with Mickey and he’s a doll, so I’m happy you’re here.”
“Can I just ask a couple of questions before you start?” I asked, trying to order my thoughts and learn a craft I knew nothing about. “What’s the storyline for today’s shoot?”
“It’s based on a novel,” Margot replied. “I’ve tapped into the indie romance community. It’s huge and well-loved with readers who are voracious and committed. I’m a binge reader and I’ve read so many indie books with great storylines and amazing sex scenes. I saw an opportunity to work with authors to bring their characters and scenes to life.” She pulled off her hooded top to reveal a crop top and tanned abs. “Have you heard of the romance author Caroline Dixon?”
“Yeah, I loved her To Be Continued series,” I replied. “Her sex scenes are fantastic.”
“I contacted her over social media a few months ago and we’re working together on a series of short stories she’s writing specifically to be turned into future films.”
“That’s amazing,” I replied.
“I went to meet her at Karensa, the wedding venue she owns with her husband, Drew. She’s really on board with what we’re doing here. She keeps full control of what the films look like, but she trusts me, which is fab. I’ll send her the edits from tonight’s shoot, and we’ll work together on what she does and doesn’t like.”
“Has she been to a shoot?” I asked.
“The first one we did,” she replied. “I think she was disappointed that Drew hadn’t come over with her.” She winked and gazed over to Will who was standing awkwardly with his hands on his hips. “So, you’re going to be the camera guy, Will?”
“Technically, I’m just a journalist…”
“Yes, he’s the camera guy. As a photographer,” I added, stopping his words and rolling my eyes at him, “he has many transferable skills.”
“I bet he does,” Margot drawled. Will’s mouth dropped open slightly before he cleared his throat. “Shall we get started?”
“Let’s,” I replied, tugging Will with me.
“What?” he asked.
“Stop staring at her.”
“She’s staring at me,” he whisper-shouted.
“Let me introduce you to the people who are going to bring the magic this evening.” The man and woman I spotted in dressing gowns from earlier both waved. “This is Charlie and Ruby. Charlie is our rock star for the day and Ruby is our bar girl serving the private party where things get very private.”
“Nice to meet you guys,” Ruby said. “I hear you’re filming your own movie. Exciting.”
“We’re here for tips.” I laughed.
“I’m still not sure why I’m here,” Will mumbled.
“Aww, are you nervous?” Margot asked as she stroked his arm. “If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could always get naked too.”
“I’m not sure that would help.”
“Shame.” Margot winked as she moved over to fiddle with the lighting.
Will side-eyed me. “Is she flirting with me?”
“Stop being weird,” I replied, ignoring Margot’s obvious interest in Will.
“Just to bring you up to speed, we’ve filmed the first scene where they meet and a little of the backstory. We just need to finish a couple of sections and then we’re all set for the sex scene. Take a seat to start with and when we’re ready you can become more involved. See the camera angles, that sort of thing.”
“Anything that will help. Thanks.”
For the next hour or so, we sat on a settee at the back of the room. Margot gave me a copy of the script that had been approved by Caroline Dixon. I read her handwritten notes and it gave me a good insight into what she felt would or wouldn’t work. A note indicated that some of the novella didn’t translate well to film. Lines were too much. Reading them and hearing them said out loud were two different things. To her, it felt stilted and she’d added ways to get around that in the margins. It was the first time I’d thought about filming the scene like an adaptation of a story and I made a few notes to help me when I started to write my own. Margot offered suggestions of filming a few different scenes to cover all tastes. A woman and a guy, two males, two females, a mixed group and I started to consider body types and shapes that would speak to our audience.
“OK, guys, we’re going to start the sex scene. Will, if you want to, shadow the second camera but keep an eye on the others so you can get to know the right angles and what looks good.”
“Christ,” he whispered.
“Don’t get overwhelmed,” I replied as Ruby slipped one shoulder out of her robe and started rubbing an ice cube on her nipple.
“Don’t get overwhelmed?” His eyes followed the dripping water.
“Skye, come over. I’ll be giving direction, which will be your job when you’re ready to shoot your film.” Margot wiggled her finger at me, and I stood up. Will grabbed my hand, stopping me and when I turned his anxiety wasn’t just written, it was etched across his face.
“What are we doing?” he said. “This is madness, even for you.”
“We’re just here to learn,” I said joining our fingers together, the same way we di
d the night he held me as I tried to sleep, crying through my grief but anchored by him lying behind me.
“Stay close to me,” he asked, and I squeezed his hand in a silent yes.
“Right, this scene takes place in a bar. Charlie has stayed until closing time and Ruby is cleaning up. He talks about how he missed her at his concert, she couldn’t be there as she had to work, that kind of thing.” Margot talked with her hands and she was animated but clear. “He talks about being unable to keep away from her, they kiss, and one thing leads to another. Basically, he eats her out on top of the bar. It has to be quick and hurried and passionate because her boss is upstairs, but the thrill of being caught makes everything that much more potent.”
She crouched down out of shot and held her fingers up. “I want a camera here so we can get a great close up shot of mouth and tongue.” She pointed towards another camera. “Over there, I want ass shots. Charlie has a great ass and we need to show it off.” She waved over a guy wearing a leather bag around his waist full of make-up brushes. “Can we get a touch up here. Ruby has some shine on her nose and it’s distracting.” She turned to me and Will. “If this gets too much you can leave at any time, but I’d advise you to get as much as you can from this. Not many people have the opportunity to watch a professional in the industry film a scene like this. Ask questions, get involved. Make suggestions. I’m open to that.” I held my thumb up and smiled, trying to appear confident and not ready to vomit. I turned behind me and found Will crouching on the floor. To anyone who didn’t know him like I did, he looked strong and confident, his thighs stretching against the denim of his dark jeans, the rolls of muscle and sweet tension in his thighs. But I saw the nervous adjustment of his glasses and the small breath he blew out. He smiled at me, bit his lip, wordlessly telling me that he couldn’t believe I’d got him into this situation, but his smile told me that despite everything, he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
“Action!”
That one word brought me back into the room and away from thoughts of Will. Ruby began stacking barstools on top of the bar, Charlie watching her, a smile tugging at his lips, watchful and steady, but I imagined his heart pounding, watching the woman he loved with an ache in his cock as he became more turned on. There was some dialogue, a statement of how much he missed her, wanted to see her beautiful face in the crowd tonight, focusing only on her full lips as he sang. She touched her neck, her lean fingers trailing down to her collarbone before tentatively landing between her breasts. She was wearing a barely-there dress, covered in sequins and heavy as she moved. It clung to her and she looked amazing, her body toned and taut and incredible. But I couldn’t help thinking about my film. This wasn’t reality, it was a heightened fantasy. Where were her curves, her cellulite? The stubble on her legs where she’d forgotten to shave? I wondered if it mattered. No. Not for this. The scene was beautiful, two lovers strung so tightly together that the need for each other was almost breaking them out of their skin.
“Go to her now, Charlie. Take her face in your hands and kiss her. Deep. Full,” Margot directed, staying out of the frame but still being very much a part of the shot. He listened and did as she asked, looping his hands around Ruby’s face, a kiss so perfect you would think it were true. He deepened it, pushing her backwards, a thud against the bar, moans, groans, gasps, the kiss intense. I watched and found myself pushing my thumb to my lips in response. “Other camera, please. Get in low. Will, follow him. See the angle. We need action but still soft to begin with.” Will followed the camera guy, crouching down beside him, closer to me. He smiled, checking in before dropping his eyes as I continued to watch. “Charlie, lift her onto the bar.”
Charlie dug his fingers into her hips and effortlessly picked her up before setting her down on the bar. He was standing before her, stroking his hands lightly up her legs, against the insides of her thighs. Pulling her forward with one quick movement, he bunched up her dress, exposing her, no panties, completely bare. He gasped and moved in closer, telling her she was a tease, that he couldn’t stand that she’d been bare for him, no barriers, no boundaries. He looked at her in awe and my breathing became labored, my chest heavy. As they took each other in, I became aware of the heat behind me and the shallow breaths he was also taking.
Will.
I changed my position, splayed my legs out to the side. I could feel a brush of flesh, his hand, close to me, settling on the floor but close to my thigh.
I glanced up to the scene. The strap of Ruby’s dress fell and the heavy fabric curved against her breast. “Move your hand, expose yourself,” Margot said as Ruby followed and her beautiful tits were revealed. I could hear Will take a breath as she started to circle her nipple, Charlie’s hand forcefully stopping it, pressing his body against her, telling her that it’s his job, his obligation, his need. He was urgent in his movements, mouth to nipple, feasting on her like he couldn’t get enough. She dropped her head back in pure ecstasy and the gasps she cried out were in time with his skilled and urgent mouth.
“Take off the dress,” Margot said. “Lose it to the floor. Discard it like it’s in your fucking way.” He followed direction and she was bare, this beautiful woman with her dark skin and darker nipples now fully exposed. She looked in her element, a smile, a seduction.
“Eat her cunt.”
I heard a hiss behind me. Will or the cameraman? Probably both. The words and the scene flowed together in unison. This was power. This was lust. This was magnificent.
Charlie fell to his knees again and pulled her towards the edge of the bar. He raised her leg, instinctively knowing the best camera angle for pussy devouring. “Good,” Margot shouted. “Keep it there.” Will followed the camera, leaning forward, and he was behind me now, a tight space between us. I could feel him. His heat, his chest. A shoulder against mine. I liked the familiarity. I liked the contact. My body was gently humming like the feeling you get in the early stages of love, the vibration of desperation to see the person you’re developing feelings for and you’re on countdown before you get to touch them again.
“OK?” he asked, against my ear. I nodded into him, moving away slowly as I tried to catch my breath.
“Gorgeous!” Margot shouted. “Look at that mouth! Keep going. Use your fingers to expose her clit. Yes! Just like that.” She pointed at the camera guy and to Will. “Closer. Get in underneath. I want to see her pretty pussy.”
The space was tighter now and Will changed position. He was behind me, steadying himself by holding onto my hip. His fingers dug in deeply. I was wearing jeans, rips at the knees, the air hitting my skin and despite the heat, goosebumps erupted along my flesh. His fingers continued to press, and he whispered something sorry or hold on but he kept his hand there and I wondered what he was apologising for. Because this was magical, heady and bold. I leant back, my arse rising up slowly, pretending I was finding a comfortable position but really trying to stretch out the ache in my pussy, get some friction against the denim…against him. I could feel wetness pool between my thighs, a wet spot against my panties. I imagined him licking me there, loving how wet I was, wondering if it was him or the scene that was firing my desires.
“Tongue flatter, Charlie. Press it firmly against her clit and lick slowly. Let’s get the angle.” Will instinctively leant in, looking at the angle, the position, the tongue on her clit. His hand squeezed my hip firmly, almost a grab, a way of holding on and keeping himself together. He rested his chest against me and as a small gasp passed against my ear, I almost screamed out from the sexual tension threading through me, threatening to burst out and unmask my real feelings for him.
I was turned on.
I was close to Will.
I was ready to share my secret and join Charlie and Ruby on the bar with the man I’d secretly lusted after for five years.
“I think we’re ready to move on,” Margot said quietly, her voice mingled with the sounds of ecstasy, Ruby’s moaning and Charlie’s feasting. “I want to take full advanta
ge of this fucking heat!” She turned to Will. “How’s this? Are you as turned on as I am?” He didn’t respond, but I felt the tightness in his body as he rested against mine. “Well? What do you think?”
“Good,” he replied, his voice catching in his throat. “Great.”
Margot started to laugh as she got up. “Charlie, I want you to fuck her.” Whoops and cheers surrounded us as they both smiled. Charlie gave Ruby a chaste kiss on her forehead before stripping out of his rock-star clothes. His leather jacket fell to the floor, the white vest quickly pulled over his head and off. His jeans pooled around his feet and he stepped out of them, revealing a huge erection, pained and full. Taking it in his hand he started to stroke before joining in a conversation between Margot and Ruby. I was surprised at the normality of this, when inside all I could feel was a pulsing of need, a nervous energy, an arousal so strong I could barely function. I was transfixed by his hand, long strokes, a pull motion, keeping the erection alive as they discussed the finer points of the next scene.
Two stools were placed back on the floor and Ruby was helped onto them, her thighs still slick with her arousal and the juices from his mouth. The make-up artist wiped her softly and she leant back, one leg fixed on either stool to expose her pussy. Margot raised her eyebrows. “This is fucking amazing.”
She shouted action again, and Ruby started lazily stroking his cock. There was more dialogue. More sexual words passed between them about how she wanted to be fucked, how beautiful his cock was, how he couldn’t wait to feel her tight pussy contract around his dick. Margot waved her arm in the air and Charlie quickly rolled on a condom before placing his cock against Ruby’s open entrance. Will and I took a breath together and when Charlie thrust himself into her, we both let out a gasp.
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