One Take Only

by Lynsey M. Stewart

  And now Karma and Skye.

  Christ, she was beautiful. And glorious. And wonderful. Sexy, did I mention sexy?

  FML with a cherry on top.

  I’d never been in love before Skye. I imagined it feeling like tingles and happiness. A smile I couldn’t lose. A source of safety and power where you felt you could take on anything and smash the fuck out of it.

  I didn’t realise it would be constant longing and a fear of everything.

  Relationships, if you could call them that, were a series of embarrassing disasters. When I was a teenager, I dated to try to make sense of my body changes. The nagging voice in my head telling me I was getting older and needed to take my body with me. Sexual experiences were quick and unfulfilling. Then I met Skye and when you’re in love with a dream, a wish that wouldn’t come true, you didn’t give yourself fully to someone else. You gave them pieces. The sarcastic fool. The not–quite–there–boyfriend. The fuck–me–quickly–and–don’t–contact–me–again guy. Sex didn’t contain emotions, strong feelings, or thoughts. It was the answer to a carnal need.

  But that had changed recently. A few months ago, I would have fucked Margot just to see if I could get Skye out of my system.

  It didn’t work.

  It never could.

  “Do you want a drink?” I asked Margot as I spotted Skye by the bar.

  “G&T, babes.”

  “Be right back.” I hadn’t waited for an answer and ignored the body shake from the word babes. I was already pushing my way through the crowd just to get to her. Skye spotted me before I reached her and when I did, she smiled briefly before turning her attention back to the bar.

  “Where’s Karma?” I could barely say his name. Fucking Karma. Not for me, not at all.

  “Gents.” She shrugged like she didn’t know and really couldn’t care less.

  “He isn’t buying you a drink?”

  “My round,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Who are you anyway? The date etiquette police?”

  “He should be buying you a fucking drink,” I said, getting closer now, whispering into her neck. She smelled like Love Heart sweets and candy floss and I wanted to devour her.

  “I buy my own drinks.”

  “Stop playing hard to get.” I didn’t know who I was saying this for, me or him.

  “I’m not playing hard to get. I am hard to get.”

  I laughed as I leaned on the bar. “You build walls, barriers, and barricades, and you know what? Bloody moats and a portcullis that you set on fire.” She gasped and took a deep breath, her breasts almost bursting through their lace cups. “Who’ll be there to scale your fucking walls, Skye?”

  I will. I will.

  She tilted her head and smashed my heart into millions of pieces “Well, I guess it will be Karma tonight.”

  “No.” I grabbed her arm as she pulled away. Her cocktail sloshed over the side and onto her skin. I wanted to taste it, lick her where she was wet.

  “No?” she repeated, a spark of something in her eyes.

  “He looks like Jesus if Jesus lived in the 21st century and had a penchant for Ugg boots and beads.”

  “Where’s Margot?” she asked, tipping her head. “She’ll be waiting for you.”

  “She can wait,” I growled.

  “That’s no way to treat a lady,” she replied. “Or your date.”

  “Why did you bring him?” I asked. “You’ve not seen or heard anything from him for months.”

  “Why did you bring her?”

  Because I want to get you the equipment in order to film. I want you to rest your ghosts. Because I’ll do anything for you.

  “Answer me first,” I said, unable to stop myself.

  “I’m going to find Karma.”

  “Answer me.”

  “Go and find Margot,” she said, but that was the last thing I wanted.

  “We need to talk.”

  She left me at the bar, cursing myself. I didn’t know what to do, prop it up all night to avoid Margot or follow Skye to be tortured as she danced with the almighty. I ordered a tequila shot, downed it and followed it up with a swig of beer. The alcohol raced through my blood stream, settling at the top of my spine with a warmth I welcomed.

  “Mate,” Matt said as he put down a twenty-pound note on the bar. “Skye just told me Margot is a porn director.”

  “Yep.”

  “She’ll have seen some things in her time. Want me to give you a few tips?”

  “I’m not sleeping with her,” I gritted out.

  “Have you seen Stace?” I turned to find Skye, her hand on Matt’s shoulder.

  “She’ll be dancing somewhere.”

  “What are you two talking about?” She asked Matt and as he whispered into her ear, her beautiful smile dropped as he started laughing.

  “What did he say?” I asked urgently.

  “Something about tips.” She grimaced. “I don’t need to know about your sex life, thanks.”

  “He’s joking,” I replied, wrapping my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. “He’s found out she’s a porn director and…fuck, why I am even talking about this?”

  “Come on, you must have thought about it,” she asked. “She’s seen a lot of action. It would be enough to give anyone performance anxiety.” The closeness of her was just what I needed. My hand stayed against her waist, I could feel the sharp edge of her hip bone, the curve of her ass. I started stroking her there, trailing circles and smoothing the arch. She sighed a little, I felt it against my chest, against all of me. “Standards will be high, William.”

  “You don’t think I can meet those standards?” I said, my mouth against her ear, challenging her. I saw goosebumps erupt across her skin and for a second I lost myself, allowed my thoughts to meander through what we could be if we only allowed ourselves.

  “I wouldn’t know,” she replied, a little circle of her hips hit me in my aching erection.

  “Can I talk to you?” It came out through a moan, her smile told me she’d caught it too.

  “Nope,” she replied, moving away from me and towards the dance floor where Stacey and Margot were swaying to the music. Skye joined them, arms raised above her head, her corset going one way and her amazing breasts going the other. Watching this unfold was not helping my situation. She was dynamic on the dance floor, confetti and bright lights. She wasn’t self-conscious or reserved, she went for it. Full throttle and then some. She was singing the lyrics with Stacey, eyes closed, heads swaying, a dance routine choreographed after countless boozy nights. The glitter she’d smoothed onto her bare skin was catching the light. She was sparkles and moonshine and fuck, I really wanted her. I wanted to thread my arm through hers, take her home, fuck her, love her, make her come.

  Make her mine.

  “You joining them?” Matt asked beside me. “I always worry that I’ll lose an eye when they’re in full force.”

  “Why do you think I wear these specs?” I replied, adjusting them.

  He laughed before glancing at me. “You like her, don’t you?”

  I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to talk about Margot. “She’s…nice.”

  “Nice?” he repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. “You watch her like she’s the only person in the room.”

  I spat my beer out and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “Wait…who are we talking about?”

  “Skye,” he replied. “Who did you think I was talking about?” I tried to protest, opened my mouth and closed it again. Words didn’t come because I was sick and tired of lying to myself. “Remember, I’m an outsider looking in on this,” Matt continued. “From the moment I met you both I knew there was…something.”

  “It’s complicated.” It was. Where would I start explaining what that something was?

  “I know a lot about complicated,” he replied, tapping my beer bottle with his.

  “It was different for you and Stacey. You don’t have history like we do.” I laughed. “And Stacey didn’t hat
e you at first sight.”

  “She doesn’t hate you, man.” He cocked his head to where she was dancing. Skye was watching me but looked away quickly when we caught each other’s eyes.

  “She’s with Jesus,” I replied, making the sign of the cross. Matt laughed.

  “He’s an interesting character. Stace said they went out for about a month. It’s funny how he’s here tonight, you know, after Skye found out you were bringing Margot.” He slapped me on the back as he made his way to Stacey. She was mouthing the words to South of the Border something along the lines of pushing up and sweating on her. You couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. For a second I envied him. As his hands reached her waist and they moved in sync together, I felt jealous that he could so freely show his infatuation for her and I was holding back in the shadows, like I’d done for years.

  I watched my girl. She was dancing, but something was off. Skye started edging away from Karma who was trying to get her to dance with him. He pulled at her arm, tried to take her hand and she brushed him off politely, smiling as she removed her hand from his and tried to dance away without making a big show of it. He laughed, but I could sense the frustration in his face. I stepped closer, ready to catch her. She shook her head and carried on dancing, but he wouldn’t take that certain shake of no as an answer. I leaned against the railings, put my hand across my face and counted to five. If I made it, I’d hold back, let her handle this but as I started the count, she put her hand on his chest and pushed him away.

  “Leave her the fuck alone,” I shouted finding myself on the dance floor with a fist full of his shirt.

  “Woah, man! What’s going on?”

  “From where I was standing, she said ‘no,’ so back off.”

  “Just a bit of fun,” he replied, holding up his hands. He carried on dancing, making his way towards Margot and Stace. Skye breezed past me, arms folded, scowling and I followed her, wondering what I was going to say, how I was going to explain myself and if we’d finally hit a crossroads where I needed to be honest with her. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff with no idea if she was going push me over or pull me back.

  “Skye, wait up.” I shouted as she disappeared in a haze of sweet Love Hearts and strawberry lip balm.

  “What are you doing?” she said, turning. The scowl had gone but was replaced with frustration.

  “Stepping in,” I replied. “It was obvious you didn’t want him near you.”

  “I don’t want anyone near me,” she said, “why did I come here? This is so fucking stupid.”

  “What is?” I asked, trying to take her hand. She snapped it back and held onto her wrist like it was burning.

  “Just leave me alone.”

  “I can’t do that,” I said honestly, spinning as she launched past me, and as I watched her disappear onto another dance floor, I knew I’d never spoken truer words.

  She wasn’t hard to find. Her pink hair stood out amongst the others, the ones I didn’t even notice. She swayed and twirled and moved her hips and I was there. A man who only danced when he’d sank a few shots or at the end of a beer-fuelled night. We’d danced before, me like a demented chimp and her laughing at my dysfunction. Which was why she raised her eyebrow as I stepped closer to the dance floor, not quite there, but on the edge. She cocked her head, bit her lip, continued swaying to the music…and turned. She had her back to me now. Her defined shoulders and back rippling to the music…slowly. Her hips followed, her ass a glorious sway. She was all beauty and sexuality and if I continued looking at her, I would ache. I closed my eyes, pained to watch, but curious to see.

  Couldn’t she see what she did to me?

  How wound up I was?

  Coiled like a spring, ready to set off like a firework.

  Her hands, goddamn her hands. They were skimming her body, tracing the bump of her breasts through the cups of her top until her fingers teased her sparkly gold flesh. My feet moved on their own. I wasn’t in charge of basic functions. A step closer, two and I was there behind her, close enough to feel her against my chest. She went still, just a gasp of breath until she started swaying again, circling and moving and fuck. My. Life.

  “We need to talk,” I said, my mouth against her ear. She shook her head. “We do,” I mumbled as she circled into my cock.

  “There’s nothing to say,” she replied on another circle.

  “We keep ending up in these situations, Skye.”

  “What situations?”

  “Where your ass presses against my cock.”

  Her head snapped back and she stared, maybe even saw me for the first time.

  “What?” she shot back, face scrunched. I almost laughed. The lady protests too much.

  “Your ass,” I said into her ear. “My cock.”

  “What about it?” She stopped circling. Held herself there. Challenged me to bite.

  And, Christ, I did.

  “Are we ever going to address the elephant in the room or just throw a fucking sheet over it and be done? Cuss at it and tell it it’s shit every so often. Playful banter, that kind of thing?”

  “That’s what we do,” she said, turning around. “What we always do.”

  “Yet your ass still presses against my cock.” She titled her chin, but I didn’t miss her eyes, the black circles increasing in size and getting faster. Dilated pupils for the win. I also noticed her breasts, her nipples, the two bumps, aroused and wanting beneath the lace.

  “I can’t do this,” she said, breathless and backing down. “Stay away from me tonight, OK?”

  “Why?” I asked, needing to know, needing to push her.

  “I’m tired of fighting–”

  “Don’t fight me, Skye.”

  “Fighting this,” she replied, hands on her head in frustration.

  “Don’t fight us.”

  “There you are.” A voice came from behind me. A voice I recognised as Margot. My date. The woman I’d completely forgotten about like the selfish prick that I was. “I’d love another drink.” I watched as Skye pressed her hand against her chest, her breasts straining as she tried to control her breathing. I’d seen her do this before, the night we watched the porn film being made. The same night she was circling her ass on my cock.

  “Yep. A drink. Sure,” I replied, my eyes never leaving Skye. Margot put her hand on my arm and started pulling me, backing me away from my girl. “Just wait a second, OK?”

  “Go,” Skye mouthed as she wrapped her arms around herself. I shook my head, willing her to come with me, hating myself that I was letting someone take me away from her when we’d come so far in just a few short minutes.

  “Catch you later, Skye. We can talk more about the film. I have some free time next week,” Margot said, still pulling, not taking the hint.

  “Great,” Skye replied, a little breathless. “Talk later then.”

  “I’ll find you,” I shouted, closing my eyes on a curse. “I’ll come back and I’ll find you.”

  She smiled, and that dimple with the pink piercing that only accentuated it more? That dimple was mine.

  15

  Skye

  I’d lost Stace. I’d lost all sense of time. I’d lost Karma.

  But I’d found Will.

  Conversations were happening all around me. Women talking about their outfits, where they’d bought their dresses, who they had their eye on, who they wanted to leave the club with tonight. I didn’t really pay them much notice, didn’t really care about their playful chattering. I was replaying his words. Will’s words. Don’t fight us, Skye. Us. His use of the word us both excited and terrified me. Could this be the moment I’d been waiting for? He used the word cock, for Christ’s sake, all while adorably fiddling with his glasses. Circling my ass with his cock. Words were spinning. Cock. Us. I’ll come back and I’ll find you. Don’t fight me. Us. Could I be reading more into this? Did I want to? The answers to these questions usually remained unanswered, but looking at myself in the mirror of a nightclub bathroom, I
wanted the answer to be yes.

  I applied some lip gloss, my hands shaking. Love heart flavour. I liked the smell. I ran my hands through my curls and clipped it up so it was out of my face, then smoothed down my trousers. I sighed, realising that I didn’t have a plan. He’d be out there with Margot and I’d have to fight off Karma and we’d both leave here separately, wondering what all this meant.

  I took one last look in the mirror and walked out the door.

  The music seemed louder; the club filled with more people. I didn’t know where to start, disorientated by the thump of the base in my ribcage and through my collarbone. I headed down a walkway, hoping to find a quieter room, somewhere to think and gather myself together, but as I reached a corridor filled with doors, I felt a pull.

  “Shit!” My body hit a wall, a push forward, a breath against my face.

  “I’ve been looking for you,” Will said, running his nose against mine.

  “You found me.”

  “Don’t run,” he said, as I tried to push away. “You’re always running.” He looked broken and smashed, like a man on the edge. I cupped his face instinctively, whatever was going on between us would never override the fundamentals of our relationship. I cared about him. Deeply. “Let’s talk about this. About us.”

  “Is there an us?” I asked, because there were Margot and Karma dancing a few feet away and we were always running, hiding, pushing each other away before holding on tight again.

  He laughed lightly, the sound fading into a smile. “You look beautiful,” he said, and I couldn’t take it.

  “Better than Margot?”

  “What?” he asked, pulling back.

  “You’re here with Margot on a second date. Not a first date, a second.”

  “You’re here with Jesus!”

  His face dropped like he was so close to finding and holding a fairy, but it flew away again as he took a breath.