Take me to your room.
There was a small, lopsided Batman logo on his door. Some kind of sticker that had been pressed on in a hurry. As he opened it, I realised that although I’d been to his flat many times, I’d never actually been inside his bedroom. Chatted at the door, yes, but actually going in, never. That was a boundary I never wanted to cross. Mainly because I couldn’t trust myself not to get in bed beside him and stay there.
He went to work tidying up the space, picking up clothes and throwing them on a chair in the corner. The walls were dark navy and a lighter blue with curtains to match. His own Batcave. A double bed took up the middle of the floor and the bedding was masculine and clean. A corner of his duvet was pulled back and I imagined him waking up and leaving it like that this morning. Next to the bed was a stack of books, like a makeshift bedside table. I knew he was a bookworm. I’d often find him lost in a book in Turnip the Beet with a coffee next to him. It was the same at the other side. Photography books, hefty and tall with a half-empty whiskey bottle sitting on top.
“Bedtime drink?” I asked, pointing to the bottle.
“Something like that.”
“The hard stuff.”
“I treat myself occasionally,” he replied, moving closer to me. “Slows the brain enough to sleep.”
“I’d rather have an orgasm.” He laughed, wrapping his arms around me, bringing me in to him. There was an instant feeling of safety like I could be myself with him because he’d seen the messy bits I tried to hide from everyone else. The only part I’d hidden from Will was the love I felt for him. To throw away those shackles was like breathing fresh air. Taking a deep breath. Living for the first time.
“So would I,” he said softly, holding my neck just at the nape, hand splayed and claiming. “I love it here.” A kiss followed as he found the button, unfastening my jeans and pulling them down. I’d left my panties in his pocket where he wanted them and relished the feel of his fingers tracing the curve of my bare ass. “This is possibly my favourite place.”
I wanted his trousers off, following his lead by unbuttoning them and pulling them down. He stepped out, pushing them to the side with his feet. Boxers next. Kicked and gone. I held his shaft in my hand and began to stroke. A hiss caused a smile. “I’ve imagined you doing this so many times.”
“You’ve fisted your cock thinking of me?”
“More times than I’m ready to admit…ah.” His head fell back, and his cock swelled in my hand. “It was never enough,” he gasped. “Never like this.” I dropped to my knees and kissed his balls, once, twice. They were tight and strained, more moans as my tongue covered his head, my hand still sliding.
“Fuck, sweetheart. Baby. Yes.” I added my mouth to the motion, mimicking my hand. “Skye–” I shook my head, his cock still in my mouth. I wanted to give him this, worship him, no longer from afar but close and intimate. “Need to be inside you,” he rasped, threading his hands through my hair. “Baby–”
I stood, still stroking him with my hand, contact never stopping as he followed me onto the bed. I pulled his jumper over and away, Will helping me and returning to my mouth as we kissed with an intense joy. This man. The feelings he evoked in me. A wash of emotion ran through me and I couldn’t stop the tears.
“You said you didn’t know sex could feel that way.” He pulled back, watching me with concern, holding me with both hands to my hips, the blue fabric of his t-shirt pooling around his fingers. “Tell me what you meant.”
“Do we have to do this?” He said softly, smiling as he kissed a tear away. “Right now?”
“I want to know.” He shook his head and kissed me again. Embarrassed. Unsure. “Come on. It’s not like I thought you were celibate. I walked in on you masturbating with Catwoman, remember?”
“OK, we’re really going there,” he replied, dropping his head, a deep line appearing between his eyebrows.
“Don’t stop,” I reassured him. “Tell me as you’re fucking me.”
“Jesus.” He laughed lightly as I sat on the bed and lay back. “That’s all it was, Skye. Fucking. Sex was just a need. An instinct. I didn’t attach any emotion to it. It was an urge to climax and get out of there. Yeah, I liked sex, but I didn’t want to take it any further.”
“And with me?”
“Skye, I can’t even put it into words.” He kissed me, pushing his point. He was tender and soft, and this was so far away from fucking. This was making love. “It was like all the loose threads of my life pulled together to form a knot. The stray parts of myself I never quite understood. The bits I allowed to keep floating so I didn’t have to deal with them. Does that make sense?”
“Like parts of yourself had twisted together and were waiting to be released, to find their home,” I replied.
Tonight, he’d picked mine apart with his fingers and pressed them against his heart.
He moved away from me and I immediately sat up, balancing on my elbows, wondering if I’d pushed him too far.
“Relax,” he said, pulling a condom from his jeans on the floor. “It’s me. Just me.” His voice was low and tender, lulling me almost, taking me away, taking me with him. “I’m not going to hurt you. What we have is more than anything I’ve experienced before.” I helped him roll on the condom, all hands and smiles. “I fell in love with you the minute we met.”
Say these things again. No one ever has and it’s feeding me. Making me whole. Sewing me back together.
“Shut up,” I replied, but inside I was melting. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from wandering. Did he mean love love or friendship love? But as he pushed himself inside of me, I didn’t care about picking apart the meaning of words, all I cared about was the reaction of my body.
“I really like being with you,” he panted, thrusting harder now. He pulled my legs around his waist, turned us until I was straddling him, the change in position hit my G spot perfectly.
“Is that all?” I goaded.
“No,” he gasped, pushing the T-shirt above my breasts and staring at them in awe. “Not even close.” His hand closed around one. “You’re the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met.” I ran my finger across his nipple and he almost cried out, squeezing his eyes closed in pleasure. Sensitive nipples. File that gem. He’d lost himself, desire clouding his vision. Head dropping. Gasps abounding. His eyes were open now and it was like he was seeing me for the first time, awoken from a dream, a long sleep, a lifetime of being cautious and careful. “I don’t know how things are going to work out,” he said, his thumb circling my clit. “All I know is you make me happy and that counts for everything, doesn’t it?” I nodded into the mattress and let my body take over. Orgasm number three belonged to him, along with one, two and all the orgasms to come. “Christ, I can feel you…I’m…gonna–” He came with a roar. Gav and the neighbours three doors down would have heard him. My awkward boy was anything but in bed and I loved the contrasts of him. Corrugated and complicated. Fluid and smooth. Loving. Heat. Fire and ice. The push and pull of Will and all he had to offer. The friend I adored, the man who offered me comfort, the banter we threw at each other and caught with equal amounts of sharp and soft. The lover I needed, the body I craved.
Nerdy Will, the man who had always been a light in my life was soon becoming the fevered flame.
21
Will
“I’ve always been fond of these boobs.” She opened one eye and smiled. “And this curve here.” I trailed my hand, tracing the fern tattoo underneath her breast. She moved my hand away and started to giggle.
“Can a girl sleep?”
“I’ve been watching you for the past thirty minutes, I’m ready for you to wake up.”
“Creeper,” she replied as I pushed her pink waves out of her face. “You’re waking me up for sex, aren’t you?”
“I missed you,” I replied honestly, but sex would be nice too. More than nice. Sex with Skye had been a monumental, life-changing event. I had an ache in my stomach muscles where an orgasm ha
d been quite literally ripped from my body. Hard and recurring waves of pleasure long after I came. But there was more than the intensity of our passion, there was a familiarity to our touch. We knew what we liked, what we needed just through glances and smiles.
I’d woken up to find a miserable, damp day in London. Not unusual, but a new concept when I had a woman I adored in my bed. I’d wrapped myself around her after pulling back the curtain to watch the rain running across the window. She was warm and welcoming, and I concentrated on those things and not the nag in my head of allowing myself to think about what was next for us.
“I’ve lost all concept of time,” she mumbled. “What day is it and do I have somewhere to be?”
“It’s Sunday,” I replied, “and you need to be nowhere but here with me.”
“Oh, thank God,” she said, smiling. “I can rest my aching body.” She rolled over onto her front. “You see, I met this guy last night and he knew these wondrous sex positions that my body is regretting this morning.”
“Regretting?”
“Not at all,” she replied, biting her lip and turning onto her side, holding up her head with her arm. Her boob smush was wondrous and I had no other option but to kiss the mound. “Totally lying.”
“Good,” I replied, kissing her mouth. “No regrets.” She smiled as I laid down beside her, loving the buzz I was feeling, hoping it wouldn’t ever go away.
“No regrets,” she repeated softly, still unsure. I could hear it in her voice, but I’d become at a master at ignoring it. “What does a girl need to do around here to get some breakfast?”
“I’m sure I can think of something,” I replied as she sat up.
“Ooh, I forgot about that little café around the corner. They do those amazing breakfast muffins, don’t they?” She started searching around for her clothes. “Shall I go and grab a couple? Two coffees, plenty of caffeine?”
“I’ll go,” I said, wanting to look after her, knowing I’d earned the right to do so. “Take a shower and I’ll be right back.” I kissed her head and that just gave her a dreamy faraway look. It calmed my nerves slightly like she wasn’t going to blow up like a fireball and seemed chill and still on board with us.
I’d told her I loved her last night. Yes, it was in-between orgasms and the best blow job of my life, but I still put it out there. She didn’t say it back, and that was fine by me. I knew it was there, simmering under the surface. She didn’t have to say the words for me to know. I just wasn’t sure what kind of love, or how deep, strong and frightening it was it was for her. Skye had lived with rejection, the people she loved the most let her down, left her, made her cautious. So, although I knew she was capable of love, she held back, like always. Was the timing right for us? Was she ready? Did she finally love herself enough to love me?
Because I was ready and I knew being loved by her, fully and without guard would knock me off my feet, full of force.
“I emailed the photos from the shoot to you earlier,” I said. “Thought I’d better get them off my camera before I had an unfortunate mishap at work.”
“Good idea,” she said, laughing. “Thanks. I’ll take a look.”
I pushed my legs into my jeans and threw on the Superman T-shirt she looked sexy AF in last night. “I’ll be back in ten.”
Skye
“Good morning, Gav.”
“Well, hello there,” he replied. He was still working on his laptop, didn’t appear to have moved from last night. He had dark circles under his eyes and had pulled a grey hoody over his head just to complete the I-haven’t-slept-a-wink-look. “I take it you slept well?” I didn’t appreciate the smirk but understood it after years of friendship, Will inviting me into his bedroom was a big deal. Bigger than big.
“Like a log,” I replied, pulling my laptop from my bag.
“Good to know.”
I realised that I had a few emails from Margot as well as the photos Will had sent from the shoot. Margot had sent over various files from their cameras and offered to help me with the editing process. After everything that happened last night, I hadn’t even thought about the next steps once the film had been made. To be honest, my only thoughts over the last few hours revolved around Will’s ability to induce tremor orgasms and how attracted I was to his cock.
Everything had been fine between us this morning. He didn’t show any signs of regret or wondering about where our friendship stood. Unlike me. He’d been nonchalant, offered to get breakfast and…oh, dreamy fuck, told me he’d fallen in love with me the minute we met. Love was a small word for something so immense. It had many different connotations, drew out different emotions. It could have a different meaning to someone else.
Love could be life changing, but it could also break you and…
Jesus, Skye. Shut off your brain. Focus on the porn.
I opened Will’s photos first and I was pleased with how well he’d captured the images of Reid and James. Some of them were mid-fuck, others were taken as still shots to be used for promo or the cover of the Blu-ray. Next, I moved on to Margot’s films. They were only labelled by numbers and as I clicked on one my laptop roared to life. Reid and James were moaning, panting, essentially making every noise that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else other than two people having a fabulous time.
“Shit.” I fumbled around, trying to turn off the clip, missing the little cross in the left-hand corner in a bumbling panic. I tried the volume next, turning it higher rather than muting the moans.
Finally, silence. I pressed my mouth together, shut the laptop and glanced over at Gav who was wide-eyed and still, his expression one of confusion before he started to laugh.
“Was that what I thought it was?”
“No,” I rushed out.
“It sounded like –“
“Nope.”
“Was that porn?”
I covered my mouth with my hand and slowly placed my laptop on the coffee table. “It’s not what you think.”
He laughed. “If you needed a little something to help get things going with, Will, I completely understand.”
I threw a cushion at him. “It’s a project I’m working on. I volunteer for a LGBTQ+ sexual health clinic in Brighton.”
“Will said,” he replied. “Handing out condoms, that kind of shit.”
“Exactly,” I replied. “It’s a…thing I’m doing to help young people…change their expectations of–”
“Porn?”
“Sex!” I replied. “There’s various messages I want to get across to our client base. Safe sex, consensual sex, making it less…scary.”
“Are you telling me that you’ve made a porn film?”
“It’s not porn,” I replied, getting more annoyed, defensive even. This was Elliott’s legacy, not something seedy or humourous. “It’s…more…educational.”
“Bloody hell,” he said, sitting forward. “I don’t know what to say…I mean–”
“I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with porn, Gav,” I said, my voice loud and strong, “but please don’t make others feel uncomfortable just because they enjoy it.”
“Oh, I enjoy it.” He laughed. “I just can’t believe you’ve made a porn film.”
“No,” I sighed. “It’s–”
“Where do you even start with something like that?”
The front door opened, and Will appeared with three coffees and a bag of breakfast muffins. “It’s not nice out there,” he said, oblivious and putting everything down on the coffee table before shaking off his jacket. “Throwing it down.” He ran his hand through his wet hair as he looked at us. “What?”
Gav stared at Will like he’d just told him he’d met the Queen in the queue at the café and he’d asked her to drop in at any minute. His mouth fell open and he raised his hand slowly, pointing at Will. “Oh my God!”
“What?” Will said, holding out his hands. “Will someone tell me what’s going on?”
“Oh, mate,” Gav laughed. “Are you part of this? W
hich part? Fuck me, do I even want to know?”
Will glanced at me, a fake smile plastered to his face. “What’s he talking about?”
I stood, trying to think on my feet as this situation started to pour out all over the floor. There was no way I could retrieve this shitshow that was spilling around us, almost ankle deep.
“He’s not involved. It’s my project. All mine. Down to me.”
“Porn?” Gav leaned back, holding his stomach as he laughed, and Will’s smile looked slightly more panicked.
“I’m not sure what’s going on here,” Will said, cocking his head at me. “I’ve been gone, literally, ten minutes and I come back to this…weirdness.”
“I think we should go back to your room,” I said urgently. Gav started laughing again.
“You,” Will said, gesturing to Gav. “We’ll talk later.”
“OK, mate.”
I could still hear his laughter as I pulled Will down to his bedroom, closing the door as he looked at me in a way that wasn’t anything remotely like last night or this morning.
“What the fuck?”
“Calm down,” I said, holding out my hands to tame him like Chris Pratt tamed the dinosaurs.
“Calm down! What did you say to him?” he whisper-shouted.
“I played a file from Margot and it was Reid and James deep at it.”
“Oh my God.” He put his hands on his head. “Wait, how did he pull the whole making a porn film thing from that? It could have been anything.”
I closed my eyes and grimaced. “I panicked! I started talking about the project and the clinic and–”
“Skye, what did you tell him?”
“I don’t know!”
“Think! Did you tell him I was involved?” he asked.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I replied, watching him slowly unravel. I wasn’t quite sure what he was panicking about, but I could tell whatever it was, it wasn’t good. “What is it? ”
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