Tiff's insurance agent friend had turned out to be from the same company as my existing agent who had twice cancelled my car insurance for no apparent reason, but she seemed far more competent and with one phone call to head office we got my policies transferred to her care. She was concerned about my liability coverage, which was, as she put it, "only a million bucks." I'd thought that was fine, but she terrified me with stories of people deliberately arranging accidents with millionaires to get themselves a big payout and I agreed to have the coverage raised to ten million.
Once the others left, Tiff bombarded me with a list of things I needed to take care of before picking up my oversized winner's check then sent me on my way to rearrange my life. Following her instructions, I'd already rented myself a post office box and had all my mail forwarded to it, and I'd also cancelled my home phone line entirely since I could just use my cell. I'd been thinking of doing that before but the idea that people could find my number in the phone book and harass me made now seem like the perfect time. Moments ago I'd ordered myself some business cards with the post office box address on it, since Tiff had said they'd make it easier to give out my address if anyone asked me for it. Only one more immediate task on the list.
"Hi, I want to change my cell number," I said to the bored-looking clerk at the phone kiosk.
I didn't really, because it seemed unnecessary since it wasn't listed online or anything, but Tiff had said I couldn't know how many people I'd given it to casually over the years who might still have it, and since I'd sold a few things on Craigslist using my cell I'd reluctantly decided she was probably right.
The clerk didn't seem to care why I was doing it. "No problem, but it'll be fifty bucks."
Tiff had told me to claim I was being stalked because then there'd be no charge for the change, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. Felt like tempting fate. "Okay."
He looked me up in the computer. "You've still got six months on your existing contract, so you can't get a new phone for free. I assume you don't want the newest iPhone, since you'd have to pay two hundred bucks to break the contract and another three hundred for the phone. Right?"
I started to nod, then said, "Actually, I think I will do that." My old phone was about as far from a smartphone as it was possible to get, and I could certainly afford the five hundred dollars to upgrade.
He raised his head, showing interest in me for the first time. "Huh. Nobody ever says yes to that. But sure, why not?"
As he went back to typing away on his computer, two women lined up behind me. One said to the other, with the air of continuing an ongoing conversation, "No, I definitely would. You kidding? If I didn't keep working, who would I be?"
The other woman laughed. "With fifty million bucks? You'd be loaded. That's who you'd be."
I stiffened. I'd felt nervous and exposed ever since Tiff and her team had filled my head with the terrible things that had happened to past lottery winners, and this discussion happening right behind me did not feel coincidental. I didn't like being so paranoid, but I couldn't help it.
"I'd give it all to charity," the first one said, then amended it to, "Well, most of it, anyhow. I'd take a cruise around the world, but I'd give the rest away. Mostly. I think that'd be the right thing to do."
"I'd buy a new house. And a gorgeous cottage on a lake, with a swimming pool too." The second woman laughed. "And an even more gorgeous pool boy."
The first woman laughed too but also said, "You're so selfish, you know. What about your husband?"
"I'd buy him a pool girl," she said, as if it were obvious.
They laughed again then the second one said, "But seriously, I'd give most of it away right away. It can't be good for you to have that much money."
"It'd be bad for your soul," the first one agreed.
My soul felt fine, but I did see her point. But I saw Tiff's too, and since she hadn't said I could never give away the principal I'd follow her advice.
"Okay," the clerk finally said to me. "You're good to go." He stuffed a sleek white box into a plastic bag, added a printout, and held out the bag and an equally sleek black phone. "Here's your new phone. The number's on the receipt in the bag. Want me to show you how it works?"
"No," I said, not wanting to hold up the ladies behind me any longer. "I'll figure it out. Thanks, though."
"No problem." He shrugged. "Oh, and thanks for using Sapphire Mobile."
I suspected that his faint sneer on the no-doubt-company-required closing line wouldn't be considered acceptable by his boss, but I just smiled and left. As I turned to go, I couldn't resist sneaking a look at the women behind me. They both looked rich and elegant, and I wondered if they were actually giving away any of their current money and if not whether they felt that was damaging their souls.
The one woman had wanted to take a cruise around the world. I could have done that, with Shane. He had been utterly perfect for me, until our relationship foundered on my desire to get married and have kids and his to experience the world for a few more years, and in the nine years since I'd realized how stupid a mistake I'd made.
Yes, he'd wanted to sign on with various small ships' crews and stop in every possible country to experience different ways of life, but that would probably have only taken us five years or so. After that we could have had the 'marriage-and-kids' life I craved.
Shane had been my boat, the boat I was supposed to take to the life of my dreams, and I had missed it. No, even worse. I'd let it go. I could have waited a while and then married him and had everything I'd wanted, and like a fool I'd chosen not to.
I couldn't get him back now, of course, and I couldn't get my fertility back either, but maybe the money would somehow let me build myself a life that actually worked for me. Mine didn't. I'd been feeling like I was sitting in the terminal of life since I broke up with Shane, stuck and stagnant, and maybe I could use my money to set sail on my own. Set sail, or fly off, or do whatever it took to make my life come together.
Chapter Five
"So? How'd it go with Tiff?"
I picked up a slice of the leftover pizza from lunch and settled onto John's couch. "Great. Weird."
He looked startled and I realized what I'd said. "Oh, not her. She wasn't weird. No, it's the whole thing. Talking about investments and people suing me and changing all my contact information so nobody can hunt me down and beg me for money. It's just..."
I trailed off, because I didn't know how to explain how it all felt to me.
After I'd finished getting my phone number changed, I'd created a new email address at Tiff's suggestion and used it to send the number to my friends and family and coworkers, and then I'd decided to take a bath to wash away the confusing feelings.
By habit I'd cracked the bath bomb I wanted to use into pieces since they were too expensive to use a whole one for a single bath, but then had realized that they weren't any more. A bath bomb couldn't be too expensive for me now if it were made of gold dust and caviar.
Overwhelmed by this, instead of taking the bath I'd wandered around my apartment again looking at all the things I could afford to change now if the landlord would drop his jerk act long enough to allow me. I loved the location of my building and its view across the city, but the carpet was worn and the walls needed painting and I could turn the spare bedroom into the perfect bonsai environment with automatic lighting and humidity controls.
Even the wildest plans I could think of, though, would probably be covered easily with one month of interest on my winnings. I wouldn't need to save up, wouldn't even need to touch the principal, to make my apartment my dream home. Everything was different now, and I couldn't get my head around it.
"It's just weird?" John supplied when I didn't finish my sentence.
We laughed and I said, "Yeah. That."
"I can imagine. Did Tiff think you should buy a jet?"
His tone made it clear he knew she hadn't, and I shook my head, smiling. "She's all about not touching the principal for a
t least six months. After that I can decide what I'm going to do."
He nodded. "Thought she would be. I don't know if she mentioned this, but with her last lottery clients she told them to use her as an excuse."
"Excuse for what?"
"Oh, she didn't mention it? Yeah, for when people ask for money. That other client and his wife told everyone who asked that their accountant had forbidden them to touch the money for six months. Took some of the pressure off them."
I still couldn't quite believe I'd be facing pressure, but I smiled. "Sounds like a plan. And if people still argue I can tell them to talk to Tiff."
He chuckled. "Like talking to a brick wall."
His amusement faded fast, and for a moment we sat in silence. I had a feeling Tiff could indeed be a brick wall when she chose to be, and I wondered if that had messed up their marriage but couldn't bring myself to ask.
John cleared his throat. "So, are you planning to keep working?"
I took a long sip of my wine.
He chuckled. "Not sure if that's a yes or a no."
I set down the glass and smiled at him. "I'll still drink wine, for sure. I like that too much to quit. But writing about it? I don't know. It wasn't ever my career plan."
We'd hardly ever discussed our work lives, since he'd seemed touchy about his and I hadn't wanted to force the issue, so I wasn't surprised when he said, "What was?"
I needed another drink of wine before I could say, "None, I guess. Wife and mother."
John, who had spent a few hours keeping me entertained and comfortable the day after my hysterectomy when my mother had a doctor's appointment she couldn't reschedule, said, "Ah. Yeah. Sorry."
I shrugged. "You can't always get what you want in life. But anyhow, will I quit? I'm leaning toward yes. It's never been quite right for me."
I hadn't thought it would be right for me at all when Kerr had offered me the chance to write for his fledgling wine magazine. I'd been working as a waitress for years, not wanting a career that I'd only end up interrupting once I had kids, but after the breakup I quit my job and basically went into hiding. My sister Tuesday, hating how I was living, had forwarded her friend Kerr an email I'd sent her right before my world fell apart raving about my new favorite wine. Kerr had loved my writing style and wine knowledge, so he'd asked me to write for him.
I'd done it because I'd known I couldn't shut myself away for ever and because I'd appreciated Tuesday's initiative, but to my surprise I'd truly enjoyed the process of turning the subtle tastes and sensations of a really good wine into words. I'd been working for Kerr on a freelance but nearly full-time basis ever since.
I'd traveled all over the world for him, and I had noted the irony that I was doing the traveling on my own that Shane had wanted us to do together. To my surprise, though, I'd found I enjoyed it far more solo. I went where I wanted when I wanted, within the needs of my upcoming article, and I'd seen some incredible places and drunk some amazing wine.
Over the years Kerr had frequently offered me a permanent position but I wouldn't take it because I knew someday I'd leave. Whenever I found my way back to the life that was really right for me.
The hysterectomy had put an end to my family dreams, at least in the way I'd always expected them to work out, but I still didn't want to take Kerr's job. It would be like admitting this was my life now and I couldn't do that. This was the waiting room for my real life, the ship terminal not the ship, and I wouldn't stay here. Not forever.
"At any rate," I said, "I just finished an assignment on Friday and I wasn't going to take on anything else until after Christmas since it's so close, so I don't have to do anything about work right now."
"Nice," he said, but I heard strain in his voice and felt annoyed with myself. John was slaving to keep himself and Zack going, so why was I bragging about not needing to work for weeks?
We fell silent again, something that had hardly ever happened before I won but now seemed far too frequent, and I found myself longing to offer John money. Even a single week's interest would be nearly thirty grand. I wanted to offer, and I felt like he might be considering asking. I didn't want him to ask, didn't want him basically begging me for money, so I wanted to offer. But I didn't. He'd already said the game system was the most he'd accept from me, and I was afraid to push him. It might change everything between us, and I didn't want that.
"Hey, look, can we pretend for a bit that I didn't win?" I wanted our usual evening back. This had become a tradition on Sunday nights, hanging out either just the two of us or with Zack depending on the week and playing games and chatting until John had to head out to the first of his five night shifts for the week. Tiff had made it sound like everything else in my life would change, and I didn't want this to change too.
"You got it."
John fired up the game system and passed me one of the controllers I'd bought that morning, but even the feel of it in my hand, so different from the old controllers, reminded me that everything had changed and I couldn't turn back the clock.
Chapter Six
My dad leaned back in his chair and sighed. "Great dinner, Edith. I couldn't eat another bite."
"Then I've done my job." Mom held up the teapot. "Anyone want more?"
I accepted a refill, and so did Cody and Tuesday. Our other three siblings, and the three spouses around the huge table, waved Mom off.
"So," Dad said. "I'm old."
"We know," we all chorused, even Mom.
"Which means," he went on as if we hadn't spoken, "that I deserve birthday presents. So bring 'em on."
I had spent all day thinking about this. I'd bought him a fifty-dollar gift card to buy books for his ereader, but I'd bought that last week. It hardly seemed a suitable gift now. Even without touching the principal I could buy Dad a far better present than he could ever dream of.
But should I? Was it the right way to use my money?
And should I do something big before actually claiming my winnings?
After agonizing until only an hour before I had to be at their house, I'd called Tiff and asked her opinion.
"I can't tell you what to get for him," she said briskly, "or for both your parents if you decide to go that route, but I see nothing wrong with you splashing out now. Only with the interest, of course."
"Of course." I mimicked her lecturing tone.
She laughed. "Just want to be sure you remember. But yeah, go for it. That's actually not a bad idea, now that I think about it. Then you can tell them before it all comes out."
Tiff had warned me I'd almost certainly be interviewed by the media tomorrow, which didn't thrill me, but she was right that it'd be better for me to tell than to have my family hear it on the news, and also right that I could do something for both parents rather than just Dad. "Okay, will do."
Once I'd decided to do something for them both, the 'something' came to me immediately. They'd always dreamed of taking a long luxury cruise around the world, but with six kids aged from my thirty-nine to Natalie's twenty-one they hadn't been able to do more than dream. On the way to their house I'd stopped at a travel agency and picked up a brochure for the cruise line they'd talked about the most, as well as information about the Great Wall of China. I knew from all my reading since I'd first wanted to go that the best time to visit the Wall was September, so there was no rush booking my trip, but I would go then. And I would also send my parents, now, on the trip they'd adore.
The others gave Dad his presents, and I gave him the gift card I'd already bought, and he nodded and smiled and thanked us all.
Then I reached into my pocket and said, "Hey, I wanted to show you and Mom something. Look what I picked up today."
They studied the cruise brochure together. "Looks gorgeous," Mom said.
Dad laughed. "When do we go?"
"In January," I said, just as Mom tapped the brochure and said, "It departs in January." She sighed. "Maybe someday."
Nervousness swept me, sudden and unexpected. I knew I wa
nted to send them, so I didn't know why I felt afraid and uncomfortable, but I cleared my throat and said, "Why not this January?"
She laughed and tapped the brochure again. "Because it says to ask for the price, and if you have to ask..."
My siblings, and even a few spouses, chorused, "You can't afford it," as Mom had always said as we grew up.
I didn't join the chorus. "I did ask."
Mom was too busy rolling her eyes at the others' mockery to hear me, but Dad said, "What do you mean?"
I licked my lips. "It leaves in three weeks. Do you want to go?"
I had both parents' attention now. "Of course we do, but..." Mom tapped the 'ask for price' section again.
I had rehearsed lots of different ways to tell my family, but none of them seemed right now.
My sister-in-law Sydney, across the table from me, said, with a mock pout, "You're so mean, teasing them like this."
"I'm not teasing." I took a sip of tea, feeling too dried out to speak. "I, um... you guys heard about the lottery on the weekend, right?"
"Yeah," my brother Cody said. "Somebody won big time."
I held out a hand, though it shook, across the table toward him. "Hi. I'm somebody."
Tuesday, sitting next to me beside her husband Murray, gasped. "You mean..."
"How much?" Dad cut her off.
I took a deep breath and said the three words I still couldn't get my head around. "Fifty million dollars."
For one second, everyone was completely silent. Then they erupted. Tuesday grabbed me in a hug, Mom burst into tears, and Natalie yelled, "Buy me a boyfriend!" My twin brothers Luke and Justin high-fived each other, and my little niece Linlee squealed and bounced in her high chair though she couldn't have any idea what was happening.
Once they'd calmed a bit, I said, "So. Want to go on that cruise?"
Toronto Collection Volume 3 (Toronto Series #10-13) Page 79