Liv’s hand rested on his shoulder, the touch and her proximity sparking him to life. He was a little uneasy at sharing something so personal this early on, but despite their recent time apart, he’d known Liv his entire life.
“What did you make?” she asked with a slight smile, the curiosity in those heartbreaker blues ensnaring him.
Zane flipped open the first lid. “This is Loco Moco, a bed of rice covered in gravy, topped with a hamburger patty and an egg.”
“It’s beautiful, Z.” She snapped a shot as she let out an excited squeal. Liv snapped another one before continuing. “You’ve got a great eye for separating the colors—the contrast is stunning.”
His grin spread wide, and pride thrummed in his chest. “I learned a couple tricks over the years.” He pulled off the rest of the lids. “I made poke over white rice with spicy mayo, and shredded Kahlúa pork over fried rice, so I hope you brought an appetite.” The chunks of ahi tuna in the poke glistened with a beautiful reddish hue, the drizzle of spicy mayo creating a striking contrast. The tangy scent of the pork made his mouth water. Liv snapped away, taking a couple shots of the meals he spread out in front of them.
Zane slipped his hands around her waist, unable to keep from touching her as he pressed against her back. Liv bit her lower lip, stopping mid-shot to glance up at him.
“You take gorgeous shots, sweetheart, but the food’s going to get cold.” He enjoyed the way she sank against him when he whispered in her ear, loved how reactive she was, like she could possibly be as turned on as he was every time they interacted.
Liv slipped away to perch on the table beside the food, resting her sneakers on the seat. She scooped up the bowl of poke and held her fork poised over the glistening surface, and hesitated. “It’s too pretty to eat. I feel like a monster ruining this display.”
He rolled his eyes, and snagging the fork from her, he speared the ahi tuna and a bit of rice before lifting the food to her lips. She took the proffered bite, and a moment later, a moan slipped from her throat. He sucked in a breath as the sound shot straight to his cock.
“Z, this is unfair. How are you so goddamn talented?” she complained, stealing the fork from him to nab a couple more bites. He settled on the other side of the table and dug into the Loco Moco, the yellow of the eggs mixing with the gravy and soaking into the rice. As the flavors of the savory meat and gravy hit his mouth, the smooth texture of the eggs, and the grain of the rice, memories came flooding back. Of the frying pan’s sizzle and pop as his mom hunched over the stove and the gentle melodies she sang to herself while she cooked.
“Not like I get to cook this stuff on a regular basis. These are the recipes passed down to my mother from my grams back in Hawaii.” He chewed slowly, enjoying the way the comfort food filled his stomach. Liv leaned across him to spear into the Kahlúa pork, her eyes lighting up the moment the shredded, seasoned meat hit her lips.
“You should open your own place,” she said as she returned to the pork for more.
His heart thudded at the casual way she spoke his dreams aloud, like they were the most natural thing in the world and not some shameful secret. Someone who had fucked up as badly as he had didn’t deserve dreams, but Liv had always believed in a wide-open future for him, one he struggled most days to imagine at all.
“Food truck,” he admitted, staring at the grain of the bench. A flush crept through him that his bronzed skin didn’t betray. “I’ve been saving to open a food truck to serve this sort of stuff.”
“You’d make bank,” Liv responded with a confidence he sure didn’t feel. She glanced up to meet his eyes, her gaze more knowing than he liked, like she lasered past the layers to the deepest core of him. “That’s one hell of a beautiful dream, Z. I hope I’m around to see it realized.”
His heart thundered, but he couldn’t look away from her, not in the wake of the powerful understanding between them. She’d always been reaching for the stars from an early age. Her words struck a deep chord in him.
“You know I’ll be around for as long as you’ll have me,” he murmured. Liv had unlocked the joy he’d buried long ago under layers of shame and self-loathing. She inspired him and accepted him, flaws and all, when not another soul on the planet cared to.
“Come on now,” she said, her voice growing caustic. “We both know you’ll get tired of my freak-outs and extensive damage.” She didn’t need to finish the statement for him to hear the ‘everyone else does.’ He’d lived through it.
Anger flared as he heard his own self-hatred coming from those gorgeous lips. “Not a chance, Livs.”
Her phone beeped, and her glistening eyes glanced to the screen, breaking the tension between them.
“Fuck,” she swore, kicking the wooden seat in front of her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Tessa can’t come with me to my cousin’s wedding next week. I’m taking pictures, but I’d already told them I had a guest coming, and it’s too late to cancel.” Her gaze rested on his, but a second later she dipped back to stare at the glowing screen. Her lips pursed, and by the way she glanced to him a second time, he knew what question rested on them.
“Two questions,” he said, raising his hand. Her brows lifted, and those bright blue eyes widened. “What day, and will Lex be there?”
A huge smile spread across her face as she rested her phone on the table. “Lex responded no, and the wedding is next Saturday. You’d come with me?” The hesitation in her voice broke his heart.
“Sure, you can introduce me as the obnoxious guy who’s reappeared in your life,” he said with a smile, resting his hand over hers. The contact ignited his veins, and a second later she leaned up to brush her lips over his in a honey-sweet kiss.
“You’re not annoying,” she murmured upon pulling away, her breath on his lips. “Though that does beg the question of what the hell I’m introducing you as?” Liv’s eyes glowed, and she swung off the table to land on her feet, propping one knee up to the wooden seat. She reached up and grabbed his hand. “Zane Parata, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”
“You’re ridiculous,” he retorted, despite the wide smile straining his cheeks. She snuck to his other side and nestled beside him with a casual comfort he’d longed for too many nights to count. He tilted her chin with his fingers to press a kiss against those lips he found so entrancing. Tasting her sweetness, he lingered, savoring the crush of their mouths and how for that moment she chased his loneliness away.
“I’ve only ever been yours, Livs,” he murmured against her lips. In response, she kissed him with a hunger threatening to ignite. Her arms twined around his neck, her body crushed against his, and he slid his palms along the smooth curves of her waist. The insistent demand of his cock made itself known, a pulse he found hard to ignore.
Even though Zane’s life contained too many black stains to be considered a good one, in this moment, he was absolved. Her lips against his, the sun soaking into their skin, and the sweet, fragrant breezes that wafted through this isolated picnic area were nothing short of perfection. Zane would ride out this afternoon for as long as he could, because he’d learned at any early age—that warm, real moments like this were hard to come by.
9
Liv pulled her Subaru into the lot of her apartment, leaning back in the seat for a moment after she came to a stop. She pressed her fingertips over her lips, swollen from the way she and Z had made out at Cherokee Park like a couple of teenagers. She hadn’t felt this amazing or so deeply in far too long. The sheepish way he’d confessed his dream of owning a food truck, like he held the secret dear, launched a missile straight to her heart.
Even though Z always played tough with the guys back in high school, he’d melted around her. He’d revealed a softer side that others couldn’t believe then and definitely wouldn’t believe now, not from the rough-talking, massive man he’d become. Today proved they hadn’t lost that connection, proved she had reason to place her trust in him.
With a jangle of her keys, she slipped out of her car and made her way up the steps to her apartment. Percival the Bold would be yowling up a storm, but he could count himself lucky she’d even returned tonight. Every fiber of her being lit in response to Zane’s touch, the possessive way he held her, and the skillful claim he lay to her lips. Her vibrator had been pulling double duty as of late with the way they kept leaving things. Still, he never pushed, leaving the decision to move forward in her court. For the first time since she’d been assaulted, she felt in control, ready to seal the deal.
A stupid smile played on her face as she slipped the key into the lock and turned, opening her apartment door.
A prickle along her arms halted her as she peered inside rather than strolling right in.
“Hello?” she called out, reaching for the switchblade in her pocket.
“Just me, Liv,” Tessa’s voice came from the other room, delivering a needed dose of familiarity. The paranoia came crashing down, and she sucked in a shaky breath. “We’re in the kitchen.”
Liv’s brows furrowed at the mention of ‘we,’ but she ventured inside. Percival nuzzled against her bare legs, those olive eyes of his glowing with affection. She reached down to run her fingers through the soft fur before continuing towards her kitchen. Tessa showing at random times was no big deal—her bestie had a key—but she’d wanted to bask in the bliss she felt over solidifying her relationship with Zane, and Tessa didn’t approve.
Tessa sat on Liv’s countertop, leaning against the bleach-white cabinets as she lifted a mug of piping hot tea to her mouth.
Lex stood near her, hunched over the bamboo island in her kitchen. When Liv stepped into view, ice blue eyes mirroring her own flicked her way. At the sight of her bestie and her brother standing there with serious expressions on their faces, her stomach soured. Her hand balled into a fist by her side, but she sucked in a steadying breath to keep herself from jumping to conclusions.
“Long time no see, big bro,” she said, reaching up to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight, affection easy like always with Lex. Her nose wrinkled as she skimmed her fingers through his buzz cut. “What are you doing cutting all your gorgeous blonde hair off?”
He arched an eyebrow. “Like you’re any better, dyeing it every shade of the rainbow.”
Liv stepped away from him to the cabinet, pulling out her brass-knuckle mug. Tessa hefted over the electric kettle, steam pouring out the top. She rummaged through her tea canister, determined to not let the surprise visit destroy her good mood. She had her suspicions as to why they’d both shown up on her doorstep at the same time. Lex didn’t pay a visit often enough for his appearance to be coincidence.
“How’s recruiting going?” she asked, swishing her bag of peppermint chamomile around to steep in the hot water. “Did they let you out of your cage early?”
Lex batted a lazy hand at her hair, rustling her curls. “Not all of us consider offices cages. Some folks enjoy a regular schedule.”
Her nose wrinkled in distaste as she leaned against the countertop beside Tessa. “They must be doling out the good drugs where you work. I never drank the Kool-Aid.” She took a sip of tea, the liquid scorching her already sensitive lips. Unease percolated through her veins at their silence, at the way Tessa glanced to her brother with signals that were anything but subtle.
“Liv,” Tessa began, placing her mug on the counter.
Liv lifted her chin and stared at Tessa head-on. “Care to explain the casual coincidence that has you both congregating in my kitchen? You can skip past the bullshit.” She didn’t give a damn if her words were blunt. In outnumbering her, they’d placed her on the defensive.
Lex let out a sharp laugh. “Should’ve known you’d see straight through us, Livs.”
Her childhood name pierced right through her, the one which warmed her heart every time it left Zane’s lips. Here, the nickname slammed into her like an attack. “I’m assuming Tessa took it upon herself to share the details of my personal life with you?”
“Not fair,” Tessa jumped in, her cup of tea lying forgotten as her eyes flashed with frustration. “You of all people should understand why we’d be worried about you getting involved with an ex-con. Even after our conversation, you never dug into his past and never made sure you were safe.”
“Because I am safe,” Liv shot back. Her words fell on deaf ears while Lex and Tessa worked themselves into a protective fury. If she’d never been assaulted, they wouldn’t be questioning her like this. Hell, they might have even trusted the decisions she made about the guys she dated or at least respected her business as her own. What her sibling and best friend didn’t realize was that every time they got riled themselves up like this trying to protect her, they cemented the notion that she was still damaged.
“Like hell you are.” Lex whipped around to face her, frostiness descending like always upon mention of Zane Parata. “I know you had a schoolgirl crush on him back in the day, but he’s not the guy we used to hang out with. He’s not safe to be around.” The chilly way he discussed the past he refused to broach frustrated her, telling her it wasn’t safe without saying why, warning her without trusting her judgment.
“He’s right, Liv,” Tessa jumped to his defense, her brows furrowing with concern. “You’ve got no idea what’s on his file, but I do.”
“I think I’m quite capable of deciding what’s safe and not,” Liv argued, her grip tightening so hard around her mug she wouldn’t be surprised if it shattered. “And just because you’ve got access to someone’s personal details doesn’t mean you should dive right in. Folks deserve to share their secrets on their own accord.”
“Your judgment hasn’t always been sound,” Lex warned in a preachy big-brother tone. Tessa, who had been backing him, whipped his way, indignation written on her face.
Oh hell no.
Fury radiated through Liv in one fierce, sweeping torrent. Fury at what had happened to her in college, fury at the way people treated her once they found out, and fury, endless fury at the blame that infiltrated even from her closest friend.
“You’re going to shut the hell up, now, Lex,” she said, her voice simmering at a deadly, even tone. “You’ve been hovering ever since that incident happened, throwing jabs like if my judgment had been better, I might not have gotten raped. Do you realize how fucking demoralizing that is? Don’t you think I haven’t blamed myself a thousand times over what that asshole did? If you can’t manage to move past that and start trusting my decisions again, you’ll just hold back my progress. And I have no more use for that shit in my life.”
Rage flooded her from head to toe, the bliss of being with Z earlier today banished by the way her damaged past reared its ugly head even around those closest to her.
Lex stepped back as if she’d struck him, and at once, the harshness leeched out of his expression, those ice blue eyes melting.
Tessa gaped from where she sat at the kitchen counter, her grip tightening around the edge. “Liv, I’m sorry,” she murmured, her voice softening. Tessa opened her mouth as if to continue but shut it again a moment later. The aftermath of Liv’s outburst rang around the room, evident by the thick tension in the air and the awkward hesitation from Lex and Tessa. Whatever solid intentions they’d arrived with, both seemed to be reconsidering their manner of approach.
Liv flexed her jaw. To hell with this childish confrontation, and to hell with their judgments. She’d allowed the protectiveness until they smothered her, until she’d forgotten how to live. And yet every moment with Zane re-awakened her, like the slow unfurl of a flower in early spring.
“When you guys are prepared to treat me like a normal human being, we can talk,” she said frostily. “While I was planning on enjoying the rest of the night following a wonderful day, you two have fucked that up. If you don’t mind locking when you leave, I’m heading out.”
Liv turned on her heel, not waiting for either of them to respond as she marched f
or the door of her apartment. Cold rage radiated through her, the sort holding her heart in a vice and tightening her throat. Yet she refused to bow to any of the nonsense they wanted to spoonfeed her, and she wanted no part in their intervention.
Lex and Tessa cared. Deep down, she knew that. However, no matter who threw the blame, she refused to accept an ounce. Refused to let the fear of one bad thing shatter her. Liv poured some kibble into Percival’s bowl by the door before snagging her knapsack from where she’d let it slump to the floor. Silence radiated from her kitchen. Either they’d realized what asses they were being, or the two of them were pissed enough to not follow. She didn’t have the energy to handle them right now, didn’t have enough armor on to guard her tongue and keep from destroying those relationships.
Liv felt a complicated brew of anger, shame, and sadness broiling through her like a kettle ready to steam. She just wanted to feel normal. Just wanted to be in control for once, not fighting her family, friends, and even her own body.
Her footsteps echoed through the lonely corridor of her apartment, a familiar, choking walk. Her hand curled into a fist as she trudged past the wrinkles in the carpet and the overhead light that kept flickering. The memory of breaking down in this stale hall, of curling against the wall and sobbing until her ribs rattled, seared into her.
Even as she pounded down the stairs en route to her car, she didn’t question where she headed. One person made her feel safer than anything, and right now, he was the only one who didn’t treat her like she was damaged. Liv slipped into her Subaru, curled her hands around the steering wheel, and drove off.
10
Zane paced around his apartment, his living room growing smaller with every pass he made across the weathered wooden floorboards. Being around Liv Morozov earlier had been a salve to his battered soul, but now at his house, alone, the itch returned with an increasing pulse he couldn’t ignore.
Captured Memories: Cupid’s Cafe, Book Three Page 7