by West, Sinden
“Fuck!”
I was released, nearly falling as he grabbed at his wounded hand.
“What the hell, Mat—” His face was twisted in fury, his features no longer handsome.
“You’re a monster, you’re a creep,” I spat. “And I told you that I wanted to go home.” I bent down and reached for his jacket that had been discarded on the floor, throwing it over my nakedness. I was engulfed in it and I relished its coverage, just as I relished the pain on his face. I backed out of the room, scared that if I turned my back that he would pounce; after all, wounded animals were the most dangerous.
“Mattie…” Was that warning in his voice? His eyes were certainly flaring in anger like he sought to control himself
“Shut up! I’m going and I want you to leave me the fuck alone.” Shaking, I still took steps back, aiming for the door.
He hadn’t moved. He didn’t even hold his wounded hand anymore, and that made me nervous. Finally, I backed into the door and I groped for it, pulling it open and readying myself for escape. If only I could drag my eyes away from him.
“Mattie…” he said finally. His tone was soft, his eyes had softened, and I stopped, waiting for what he would say next. He licked his lips and lifted his chin. “Kiss your life goodbye.”
It took a second for me to register what he had just said, and when I did I narrowed my eyes at him. “Fuck you!” I stormed from the room, breaking into a run as I hit the corridor. The lift was open and waiting and I slammed my fist into the button that should provide an exit from this place. It seemed to move at an agonizing pace, and I hugged myself and prayed for it to hurry the hell up. The fact that I only wore a jacket over my nudity was eclipsed by my impatience to be free.
The lift jerked to a stop, opening in a deserted lobby. Glass doors that heralded freedom were ahead of me and I ran once the doors were fully open. The marble was cool beneath my feet and I nearly slid on it, before regaining my footing with my arms out and ready to push the door open with all my weight.
Only it didn’t move and I looked around frantically for a way to release the lock.
“Ms. Larsen.”
I jumped, spinning around to be faced with the unsmiling driver. “What do you want?” I clutched onto the door for security in the hope that it would miraculously open and freedom would be mine.
“I have instructions to take you home,” the man said coolly.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not going anywhere with you. I just need to get out of here.” I hated the panicked tone in my voice. “How do I get out of here?”
He regarded me for a moment before saying, “The exit button is to your left.”
I twisted my head and spied the green button at a low height and pushed it with the palm of my hand. I heard the mechanism unlocking and I pushed on the door again. This time it swung free with ease and I was outside on the pavement in seconds. I looked around me; the street was deserted except for a few cars driving past. Where the hell was I supposed to go now?
One of the cars stopped. It was beat up old Toyota and the window rolled down to reveal Colt behind the wheel. “Matilda? Do you need a ride?”
I twisted my head toward the club doors; the driver still stood watching me from behind the glass. “Yes, please.” I ran to the passenger door of the car and opened it, rushing inside and slamming it securely behind me.
He frowned at me. “Are you okay? Where are your clothes?”
I hugged myself, shaking my head. “Can you please just take me home?”
“Sure.” He put the car into gear and we drove off. I felt myself calming the more distance that was put between us and Daniel. I even managed to rattle off my address to him in a clear voice but when he tried to ask questions, I cut him off.
“Can you not talk? Please?”
He was silent for a moment. “Sure thing.”
I didn’t know if I hurt his feelings or not, and right at that moment I didn’t care all that much either. We drove in silence until we reached my apartment building. Only then did I look at him and give him the best smile that I could muster, which wasn’t that great.
“Thanks for coming to my rescue.”
He gave a small smile in response. “You’re welcome, Mattie. Are you going to be okay?”
I nodded. “I’ll probably see you at the coffee shop,” I said before I got out of the car. A couple walking past gave me a strange look and I hugged the jacket tighter around my figure and lifted my chin as I headed inside the building after them, ignoring their sniggers. I chose to take the stairs rather than joining them in the lift. I hurried up them, not even out of breath when I reached my floor. But only then did I realize that I didn’t have my keys because my bag had been left at the club.
I stood in front of my locked door in dismay for a moment, before I turned and sunk down against it until I reached the floor. Now I would have to wake up the creepy Super and beg to be let in. I hugged my knees to my body and hid my face in them. Maybe I could just stay here all night and not have to face anyone or answer questions.
I stayed like that for a while, enjoying hiding my face because it always made everything easier to deal with. I actually fell asleep in that position and dreamed of ghosts and darkness.
A jangle of keys woke me, and I warily raised my head to be faced with jean-clad legs that led up to a t-shirt and then to the face of Daniel staring down at me.
“I told you leave me alone,” I said in a cold tone.
He ignored me and inserted the key in the lock which meant that I had to scramble away from the door to avoid falling into my apartment. He waltzed in like he owned the place, while I stared after him before getting to my feet and following him in.
He placed my purse on the table before kicking out a chair and taking an uninvited seat and lifting his feet up and placing them on an adjacent chair. I stood looking down at him.
“What are you doing here?”
He gave me a smile. “I needed my jacket back.”
I glared at him, before spinning on my heel and going to my bedroom to change. I let the jacket drop to the floor as I grabbed my robe and prepared to put it on.
“Don’t bother,” he said from where he stood in the doorway now. “I like you better naked.”
I pulled on the robe while I kicked the discarded jacket over to him before securely belting it around my waist. “You don’t seem to like me at all, naked or not. All you want to do is manipulate me and humiliate me.” I made sure that I looked him straight in the eye when I said that. He took a step closer that meant that he was right in front of me in this shoebox apartment.
“C’mon, Mattie. Don’t be like that,” he said softly as he reached for my hand and held it in a gentle grip. I swallowed, hating that instant effect that his touch had on me, but I didn’t pull away. I just stared at our hands entwined together; his skin darker than mine, his hand larger than mine. A soft kiss was pressed to the top of my head and I sucked in a breath. Why wasn’t I trying to kick him out of my apartment? Why was I just standing here as if mesmerized? “I can still use my hand, if that’s what worrying you?” I looked up to see if a grin was on his face, but there wasn’t. He was watching me with an unreadable look on his face.
“You deserved that.” My voice was quiet, barely imperceptible.
“You’re right.” That voice of his was still so soft. “I’ve done some very bad things to you.” His hands came around so he held me at my waist. “Let me make it up to you.” He kissed me on my mouth, that familiar kiss that was so easy to get lost in. My mouth, as always, kissed him back as if it didn’t know what else to do. He pulled back slightly as I looked up at him breathless, and he gave a small grin. “You’re so sensual, you know that? You respond to the smallest of seductions.” Then he was kissing me again in a way that made me nearly choke up and beg for more — more of him, more of his tongue, more of everything….
At one point he broke the kiss and murmured into the side of my mouth. “You don’t have to be
so strong all the time, Mattie. Just let go. Let me make you feel good. Let me make you happy.” His hands then went to the knot in the belt of my robe, freeing my body of the garment in seconds. He grinned as he stared down at me. “If it were up to me, I’d have you naked all the time.”
I took the initiative then, pulling him to my bed, tugging at his clothes like I couldn’t get enough. All the bad stuff flew out of my mind so that the only important thing was our two bodies and their desires. Although, it wasn’t just his body I wanted, it was him, even with all the bad.
I crawled on top of him once I had him as naked as me, pressing my skin against his as I kissed at his muscled shoulders and chest, sucking to leave raspberry red marks. He trailed his fingers down my spine, and that made me shiver and tingle all at the same time as I enclosed my mouth over his nipple, licking it and enjoying it harden in my mouth. I gave it a slight nip and heard him give an almost imperceptible grunt that had me smiling against his skin.
I sat up and slipped him inside me, lowering myself down as I began to knead my breasts, pinching my own nipples hard. The way he was staring at me made me feel sexy, like I was on display and an object to be desired. I rode him slowly as he looked up at me under eyes that seemed hazy with lust. When he grew tired of my teasing, he swiftly flipped us over so he was on top and in control.
I liked this way better, with him in control, and he brought me to orgasm quickly. Not just once, but time and time again over the course of the night until, utterly exhausted, I curled up in his arms and fell asleep.
Chapter Twenty One
He was dressing when I woke up. I cracked my eyes open to spy him pulling on his jeans, and I curved my lips up into a small smile, enjoying the view and remembering how my hands had explored him the night before. He pulled the t-shirt over his head, and tugged it down to cover his sculpted abs; it was then that he turned to me.
“Good. I was going to wake you up before I left.” He sat down on the bed as he put his shoes on.
“I’m glad that you weren’t going to leave without saying goodbye again.” I grasped his free hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
Daniel smiled at me. “I wouldn’t dream of it. I have to give you this.” He presented me with a folded piece of crisp white paper and I stared at it, puzzled.
“What is it?” I reached for it.
“Open it and see.”
I unfolded the paper and cast my eyes over the black letters. It took me a full minute to comprehend what it was, and I only just managed to drag in a breath.
“An eviction notice? For what? I pay my rent. I—I—”
“Shhh.” He gave my hand a rub. “Don’t get upset, Mattie. I can evict anyone I want at any time. And I’m afraid that it’s your time.”
I lifted my eyes from the letter to his face; there was no mocking there, just seriousness. “You own this building? Since when?”
“Don’t concern yourself with that, Mattie. Just think about packing.”
I struggled to breathe. “But why?” My voice was hoarse. “You’re punishing me for things that people in my family did. It’s just not fair.”
“Life rarely is.” He touched my hand again, but this time it was harder and I doubted that I could have moved away from him. “But this isn’t a punishment for what they did. This is punishment for what you did.”
I stared at him and swallowed. “What do you mean? What are you talking about? I swear to god that you’re crazy.”
His lips quirked up into what may have been a ghost of smile, but all I saw was sadness there. “No, Mattie. I’m not crazy,” he said quietly.
“Then you’re cruel,” I managed to say. “You’re just cruel and evil and—”
“Really, Mattie? Am I cruel and evil? Compared to you?” His eyes searched me, as if he thought I would agree. Instead I grabbed at the sheet I was tangled in and pulled it up to cover myself as I glared at him, ready to tell him he was crazy and I was sick of his games, but then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear. “I’m Jeremy’s brother.”
His words served to freeze the blood in my veins and I couldn’t move. All there seemed to be was the thumping of my heart at a dangerous level as bad memories and shame flooded back to me.
He leaned back, his face still serious. “I gave you a night, one night where I treated you how you wanted and gave you the fairy tale. That was a kindness. You should be grateful, it’s more than you deserve,” he continued.
“Get out,” I said quietly. It took everything in me to control my voice.
“Very well.” He stood, his hand freeing mine. He casually picked up his jacket from the floor and held it in his hands, looking at it thoughtfully before he returned his gaze to me. “If I were you, I wouldn’t bother going into work on Monday. I think you’ll find that your services are no longer required.” I didn’t react, even though everything within me was shaking. “And one last warning: don’t go running off to your friend in France. You may find that her internship has been cancelled, and you also might find issues with your passport that may get you sitting in a French jail before being deported.”
We held each other’s gaze, until he shifted. “Goodbye, Mattie. I’ll look forward to you coming crawling to me and begging me for work.” And just like that, he turned and walked out the door, so casual that he should have been whistling; so casual as if he hadn’t just started to ruin my life.
I stayed in bed for a long time after that, my fingers gripping that sex soiled sheet like I was paralyzed, My head spun with his words and I felt like a migraine was about to explode inside me. This was all too much to comprehend. Cruel and evil? Compared to you?
I didn’t get dressed for the rest of the day, and ignored Erin’s attempt to contact me. I couldn’t fake joy, this was all too real. The entire weekend was spent in a daze and I ate little, existing on only instant coffee in an attempt to get some kind of caffeine boost that might spur me into action. That never happened but it meant that I couldn’t sleep. On Monday, I dragged myself out of bed and managed to make my way to work looking like a zombie.
It was mid-morning by the time I was called into the manager’s office and politely told that they regretfully had to terminate my employment due to information that I didn’t disclose on my application. When I asked in a dull voice what that information was, my manager exchanged a look with the HR advisor before saying accusations of theft had been made against me and if I wished to take it further, then they would be happy to have their lawyers meet with my lawyers blah blah blah. They were nearly smug as they said that. There was no way I could beat a law firm filled with formidable lawyers. A lawsuit from me would be just an annoyance and nothing more.
I didn’t argue or beg. I just walked out of there without saying goodbye to anyone, so shocked and defeated that I barely remembered to take my purse with me. I went back to the apartment that soon wouldn’t be mine anymore and took stock of what was in my bank account and the prospects didn’t look good. It cost money to move into a new place; money that I didn’t have.
I tried not to think about Daniel and his words. I tried not to think of him as a puppeteer and I some dumb wooden doll dancing on strings to his every command. By the end of my first week of unemployment, it was clear that my name was tarnished. Application after application was declined without even an interview. It was enough to make me crawl up into a little ball and want to die.
But I didn’t. I had to keep fighting.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I called my mother. Her number was still in my cell, and I had no idea if it were still current. Last I had heard she was on a yacht with her new husband, sailing around islands and drinking cocktails. It rang out to voicemail, her voice with its cultured lilt that she had only acquired in adulthood asked me to leave a message.
I did, and it was stuttering request for money that was close to incomprehensible. I hadn’t spoken to her in the last two years. There was no argument or fight; it was just that there seemed no point in keepi
ng in contact. I had paid for college through a series of student loans, not even considering asking her for help. When she had found her new husband, another wealthy man who now doubt stepped over everyone in his way, she wasn’t keen on having an adult daughter around. It made her seem old and she couldn’t have that.
After I ended the call, I sat down in my apartment that was filled with half packed boxes. No matter what happened, I would be leaving here. I fantasized about a world that was away from Daniel and his control and manipulation. I wanted to be away from what he knew about me and that look upon his face. But I needed money to do that, and I had none.
Days passed and there was no word from my mother. I imagined her sailing somewhere, clad in a bikini and drinking cocktails as my eviction date loomed closer and closer. I bought wine that I couldn’t afford, even though it was cheap, and I drank until my head swam and I blacked out. But every morning I would wake up with a pounding head and a darker depression.
I couldn’t even get a job as a waitress, and soon I couldn’t even smile when I went to inquire about vacancies at cheap eating establishments. Daniel’s words played on my mind, like a shadow in my mind that shed a dark light over everything and consumed me completely. That was when I knew what I had to do.
I didn’t bother to dress up, although I did shower. I put on dirty jeans that were mismatched with my clean sweater. Every step that I took seemed heavy, as if my shame had manifested as cement in my boots. I sat outside the glass structure that seemed formidable even in the bright sunshine and clear blue sky. I had half expected to see a laughing devil reflected in the endless windows, but there was only the conservative Hellman logo welcoming me in.
A model-like receptionist sat behind a curved desk of dark glass in the lobby. Her hair was scraped back into an elegant, complicated bun that sat upon the top of her head and served to make her look severe and scary. I guessed that that was the purpose behind it. She peered at me, emotionless as a robot when I approached her.