For a split a second Jessup glares at Anthony, but he remains silent. Just like on the flight home, just like all night. He’s gone mute.
“Sure thing, Anthony.” I plaster big, fat fake fucking smile on my face while I trudge off to find Amy and prepare for our next client. We’re already prepared, but Anthony gave me an out. I don’t know if I should have taken it, but I didn’t have anything to say to Jessup in front of my co-workers.
Shortly before one Anthony enters the employee lounge. I can’t help myself, so I ask, “How was he?”
“Grumpy, but he’s doing fantastic from a physical therapy perspective. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I’ll just read through the notes later.”
“Not that. Do you want to talk about him and that picture? The article?”
I shake my head.
“That was a lot of personal stuff, Stanzy. About you and him. And not that I miss the arrogant asshole who first started here, there was definitely something off about him today.”
“I didn’t read it. I couldn’t. The comments were cruel enough.”
“Stanzy,” Anthony says as he grabs my shoulders. “You’re stunning, intelligent, and one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my entire life. But that article, it was more about Jessup and those people commenting obviously didn’t read it. You should. There was a lot of personal stuff in there and I think he’s hurting.”
“Seriously?”
He nods. “About his past and it wasn’t flattering.”
My stomach sinks. How would someone get that information?
I don’t have time to read the article at work, but I will as soon as I get home.
I have a few minutes before our next appointment, maybe I should call him.
I pull out my phone and there are a few texts from Staley and Mary Lou. They’re all referring to the article. I respond to the group text.
“I didn’t read it. I will after work.”
✽✽✽
After a day that felt like it dragged on forever, I’m finally home. It’s almost ten by the time I shower and grab some dinner. Staley made a stir-fry so I reheat it in the microwave.
One nice thing about having a sister/roommate who works from home? She cooks and cleans a lot.
I sit down at the kitchen table with my dinner and open my phone. Time to read the article.
Just as I begin, Staley barges in through the door, arms full of grocery bags.
“Motherfucker!” she shouts as she trips over a pair of shoes in the entry way and drops one of the bags.
“Hey, it’s fine. I got it.” I bolt from chair at the kitchen table and start picking up the groceries.
“Thanks,” she grunts.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just a shit day that seems to be getting worse. I see by your demeanor you didn’t read the article yet and you haven’t seen the pictures.”
“More pictures?” I question. I haven’t been with Jess in days, except at the clinic.
“Not your pictures.” Staley frowns as she sets the other two bags on the counter and opens her phone. She has TMZ pulled up on the Twitter app on her phone.
The picture of Jessup, dressed in a finely tailored suit with an arm wrapped around the waist of Nadia Madison, sends a wave of nausea through me.
She’s wearing a red dress, skin tight, with a plunging neckline and red stilettos that probably cost as much as our mortgage on this condo. Her black hair is pulled high into a tight ponytail and is perfectly straight, very Ariana Grande-esque. Her blood red lips match her outfit and highlight her flawless smile.
“Fuck,” I groan.
The caption reads, “It looks like Rhodes are open again.”
“I’m sorry, Stanz.”
“Don’t be. This is on me. I knew who he was and his reputation. This is all on me and my lack of judgement.”
Jealousy and anger are battling inside of me right now. Every irrational thought runs through my mind from this being another one of his fake dates to storming into that restaurant and chewing him out to burning his house down.
I now can understand Tori’s obsession with him and why she went all psycho on me. He’s addictive and I’m no better than her in this moment.
Sitting back down at the table, I push my plate away. I’ve lost my appetite. I open my phone and read the article finally. Tears are threatening to overflow when I get to the end. This is why he’s dating Nadia Madison. Because he’s hurt and his personal life is no longer personal. He’s putting up a smokescreen to hide behind.
Staley stayed with me in the kitchen while I read it.
“Well?” she asks.
“Well, what?”
“Did you leak this shit?”
“Are you fucking insane?” I scream at her.
“No, but who else knew about this other you and our parents?”
“I have no idea.” And with that my resolve and my heart break. The tears I tried holding back flow for the boys I once loved and the man who continues to be plagued by his past no matter how far or fast he runs.
“Is this my fault?” I finally ask. “I mean I didn’t leak this story, and I’m pissed you think I would, but is this my fault?”
“If you didn’t leak it then no, it’s not your fault. Why would it be?”
“Because of that kiss in the airport. They wouldn’t have dug shit up if that didn’t happen.”
Staley shrugs. “I don’t know, Stanz. But I’m guessing Jess is going to have deal with his demons at some point.”
“What do I do?”
“I have no fucking clue, but at least it’s not your face plastered all over the press anymore.”
The thought sinks my heart to stomach and a ball of something clogs my throat.
It’s not me anymore.
Chapter 31: Jessup
After another awkward as fuck physical therapy session that left Stanzy hiding out somewhere, I’m finally home.
The “date” with Nadia was excruciating. Do you know how magnetic lashes work? Guess what, now I do too. She’s fake as fuck and I have no desire to be with her ever again. The pictures worked though. The hashtag #rhodesareopen is trending again. Cassidy is truly a genius, but now, Stanzy won’t even look at me.
“Argh!” I scream when I walk into my house.
Just then Miriam comes running from somewhere.
“Jessup? Are you okay?” she asks, panting. Miriam is in her late fifties, heavy set, with mousey brown hair that she wears in a bun every single day. She’s extremely maternal and always calls me some pet name which at first I thought was incredibly unprofessional, but I’ve grown to love it. She’s practically the only family I’ve got.
“Yes, Miriam. Sorry. I didn’t realize you were here.”
“What’s wrong? Is it your knee?”
“No, the knee is good. It’s nothing, just been a shit week.”
She nods. “I’ll bake cookies, Peanut.”
I chuckle. “Sounds good. Double chocolate chip?”
“Of course!” she sing-songs on her way to the kitchen. Her double chocolate chip cookies could end wars.
I walk upstairs to my bedroom and collapse on my bed. I was working my way back to her. Thoughts of Stanzy sitting on my dick inside an Uber gets my blood running hot and a groan escapes me. It’s just never fucking smooth and easy with us.
This girl has plagued my dreams, my nightmares, my life since as far back as I can remember. She’s stuck inside me and I can’t get her out. Now she’s gone, again. But instead of being a half a country away, she’s right at my fingertips and I can’t grab her.
Sitting up, I see my suitcase that I left in the entry way yesterday morning when we got home. Miriam, the best housekeeper in the fucking world, unpacked for my drunk ass.
Then I notice it. The red diary sitting neatly next to my suitcase on a chair. With all this shit about my life story being leaked and Stanzy’s name and face getting dragged through the mud, I forgot about
the diary for a moment.
It’s time.
Walking over, I grab the book. I still don’t know who sent it, but nerves are at an all-time high when I sit down in the chair by the window and open it. My mother’s name is scribbled in her cursive handwriting on the inside cover and it makes me choke up. It’s a reminder she’s actually gone.
This Diary Belongs To:
Jacqueline Shepherd
Her maiden name. That’s interesting.
The first page is dated when she would have been in high school. Now it makes sense that she signed her maiden name.
I scroll through the pages and the diary isn’t full. It is all in my mama’s handwriting, but for some reason I thought this thing would be full. Hundreds of pages.
Letting out a deep breath, I begin.
“Today my life changed forever. Joseph Rhodes asked me on a date.”
Uncle Joey and my mama dated? I set the book down for a second so I can breathe and process. This was before she got together with Rowen obviously. I wonder if Rollie knows.
I continue reading the entry.
“He’s a senior and the star quarterback. I can’t believe he would even look in my direction, but he said he saw me at the track meet last week and he loved the way my chocolate skin glistened with sweat. He said he wants to be the one to make me sweat. I giggled at the thought. He has my heart fluttering like I’m Cinderella at the ball. Charming, handsome and headed to the Notre Dame! And he’s interested in me. I hit the jackpot. Carol said he likes me, but why would he? I guess it can’t hurt to go on one date. Did I mention he’s so handsome!”
The next few entries all about Uncle Joey and their escapades. I didn’t know he was a quarterback. Notre Dame must have made him a tight end in college. Smart move because he got drafted.
I skim through them so I don’t miss anything important, but I don’t want to read the details of my mother and uncle’s sex life. I can’t believe no one bothered to mention that they dated.
Then I come across one written in red ink. The writing looks angry.
“Joey’s brother hit on me. He asked me on a date right in front of my boyfriend. Who does this guy think he is?! I can’t believe it. Joey was so mad he punched Rowen right in the face. Rowen just smiled and said he’d win me over one day. The competition level between these two is strong.”
“I said goodbye to Joey today. He’s off to Indiana. He considered transferring to Georgia, but I wouldn’t hear it. If it’s meant to be we’ll make it work. I believe that.”
“Rowen has been so kind since Joey left. He hasn’t hit on me anymore, but he’s been a comforting shoulder to rely on. I think Gina told him I love Snickers bars because those keep turning up in my locker.”
I skim through a few more entries before stopping at one that catches my eye. It has a watermark on it. Like a droplet or a tear stain. It’s dated almost a year later.
“It’s over and I can’t breathe. Joey dumped me. We don’t see each other enough and I think he met someone at college. I’m a senior and this is the worst way to end my last year of high school. I need a drink.”
The next entry is dated just the next day. It was rare she wrote back to back days, so this one must be important.
“I’m never drinking again. My head hurts so bad and I think I did something really stupid. I need to talk to Carol and see what happened at Andre’s party last night.”
The next day she writes again.
“Yup, Carol confirmed it. I went home with Rowen. He’s back from Georgia and apparently offered me a ride because I was so intoxicated I couldn’t stand up. I need to make sure I thank him. How embarrassing!”
The next entry is dated a couple months later.
“Oh dear diary, I fear my ride home with Rowen wasn’t just a ride home. I’m pregnant. I just found out last week and I’m eleven weeks along. I should have known something was up. I’ve been feeling sick each day and slow at practices. Rowen doesn’t know yet. He’s in football season and I’m not sure what to tell him. I do know that there is no way I can give up this life inside of me. Even if it means putting college and everything else on hold. There is a tiny human in there and I will take of him or her until my dying breath.”
Those words make me start to cry. She really did love us and the asshole who raised us didn’t let her be our mother.
I have no choice but to keep reading.
“Rowen’s been injured. He’s only a freshman, but it’s a career ending injury. Something tore in his knee and while doctors said it can be fixed, he’ll never play football again. His agility and speed won’t be the same. His dream of playing in the NFL is dead and so is he on the inside. He’s been drinking, a lot. He gets really angry and lashes out at everyone around him when he’s like that. I’m not sure what to do because in a short time both of our lives have been turned upside down. He still doesn’t know about the baby. I’m scared to tell him.”
“I finally told Rowen about the baby. He’s post knee surgery and I thought he was going to flip out. He smiled and hugged me. It’s like he was expecting the news. He wasn’t surprised in the least. He had a few questions about due date and all that, but overall, he was so calm and happy, maybe.”
That doesn’t sound like Rowen at all. Something is up.
“Joey called me today. Rowen called him and told him about the baby. More like rubbed it in face from what Joey told me. I feel sick, and not from the baby. Joey is angry with me, but we were broken up. He broke up with me! He said he only did that so I went out and enjoyed my senior year, not so I could fuck his brother. He’s never going to forgive me for this.”
The next entry is dated months later.
“I’m due in two weeks. Rowen finally told his parents and they’re less than pleased. He rubbed it in Joey’s face quite fast, but was scared of his dad. His family has money, but they made it clear they won’t support us. Rowen was planning on finishing his degree, but he’s not going to reenroll in the fall. He’s going to get a job to support me and the baby. I’m grateful. I owe him big time for stepping up as a dad.”
“Rowen surprised me today with a new apartment. I’m due in three days, officially graduated from high school and now I’m living with my boyfriend. Rowen is my boyfriend. We made it official when we moved in. Times are changing quickly around here! He got a job at a car dealership in town and really likes it. He’s still drinking often, but he’s happier now. He’s back to the guy I fell for in the fall.”
“It’s a boy! Rowen and I welcomed Rowen Franklin Rhodes home on May 14th. He’s headstrong already. Just like his daddy. Rowen insists that we name all of our boys, if we have more, after him. He’s so happy to have a namesake and we’re a happy little family now.”
“Rowen has been staying out later and later after work each night. It’s like he’s avoiding us. I know Frankie cries a lot, but he’s a baby. He’ll grow out of it. When Rowen is home I’m not allowed to pick Frankie up when he’s crying. He says Frankie needs to toughen up. I’m not sure how a six month old baby can toughen up, but I’m afraid of Rowen when he yells. The yelling scares me and scares Frankie which makes him cry more. Then Rowen storms out of the apartment and I never know if he’s coming back.”
There are about ten more entries detailing the same behavior. Mama got pregnant, Rowen got pissed because they couldn’t afford more kids and drank more. He’d shout and slap her when we cried. He closed their bank account and moved all the money into one account that Mama didn’t have access to. He’s a fucking awful human.
“Rowen said if we want to get out of this shitty apartment then I need to start working. We have too many kids and not enough space. Adding Clarence and Alice, the twins, last year was quite a shock, but adding a fourth child so soon after is even more stressful. He’s sick of supporting us, or so he says. Since I don’t have a college degree there aren’t many options, but thankfully my friend Virginia said her real estate company is hiring. They’ll train me and prepare me to take m
y real estate exam. Selling houses. I could do that.”
“Rowen’s parents passed away yesterday. They were on their way to their condo in Naples when a drunk driver crossed the center line and hit them head on. They died instantly. Rowen is pleased as punch. He thinks his inheritance will get us out of this apartment and into a better life.”
“Rowen was right. His dad, although he threatened it, never took Rowen out of his will. The estate and all their assets were divided evenly between the boys. Rowen is a millionaire.”
Rowen was a fucking millionaire? Yet, we lived like paupers. Begging him for money and getting just enough to buy essentials. What a prick!
The diary goes silent for a few years after that entry. Then picks up the year Rollie was born.
“Betrayal. I’ve read about it. Watched movies about it. I’ve never lived it until now. Not only does Rowen rule this house with an iron fist, but he’s made a mockery out of our lives. I realize we’re not married, but we have a family. We have kids together. When that piece of trash, that crack whore, showed up on my steps demanding money from us to take care of the baby I fainted. Right there in my doorway. Out cold. When I came to I thought it was all a dream, but it wasn’t. Rowen confirmed it. She was a bar fly and he had sex with her in the bathroom one night when he was drunk. Now, she’s pregnant with Rowen’s child and there is no way I’m allowing that innocent little baby to be raised by the likes of her.”
Rowen and Mama weren’t married? What? The revelation sucks the air from lungs again. I always just assumed at one point after Frankie was born they got married. My head is spinning. My family is so fucked up.
“I’ve done something terrible. I slept with Joey. I was hurt and angry at Rowen’s betrayal and I made a foolish choice. I’m not a person who cheats. Joey was home. It’s the off-season. He still looks like the Joey I remember and he treated me the way he did when we dated. It was so nice to feel loved again. But that doesn’t excuse what I did. I don’t think I’m going to tell Rowen. He will kill me.”
A few weeks later, another entry.
“Well, I guess I’m going to have to tell him. I’m pregnant with Joey’s baby.”
Completion (Cambria University Series Book 3) Page 29