“Hayles,” he practically whispers, and smiles that crooked smile that haunted my dreams each night. Am I dreaming? His voice is deeper and richer than I remember. He's wearing a pair of dark but distressed blue jeans that hang low from his hips and a simple, black t-shirt. He has a fitted, grey Hurley hat on backwards just like he used to wear all the time around the lake. His electric blue eyes are drinking me in.
I release my hand from my mouth, confident that nothing beyond a whisper can come past my trembling lips at this point. “Chase?” I'm not even sure the sound actually leaves my mouth, but it's most definitely a question. This can't be real. What is he doing here? Tears are pricking my eyes.
“God, you look amazing. How've you been, Hayles?” he asks and he starts taking steps, closing the distance between us. So many thoughts and emotions flood me at that moment. My heart is practically pounding out of my chest, my hands are shaking like I OD'd on caffeine and I begin to feel dizzy. I've imagined seeing him again more times than I can possibly count. There are so many things I want to say to him but I feel like a top spinning out of control.
He's close enough now that he can reach out and touch me if he just lifts his arm. My whole body is shaking. I want to throw my arms around him. I want to slap him. I want to ask why he lied to me. I want to know what he's doing back here, but there is a total misfire between my brain and my mouth.
“I can't do this,” I whisper, tears sliding down my cheeks as I sidestep around him and run to my car. Before I even think about what I'm doing, I turn the key in the ignition and back out of my driveway. I'm on autopilot as I drive to the garage in town where Griff works, and I'm sobbing like a baby and shaking like an epileptic by the time I get there. I leave the driver's door of my car open in my hurry to get to Griff. It's as if I am having an out of body experience. I can hear the sobs escaping my mouth and I know that I'm going to freak Griff right the fuck out, but I can't get control of myself. I walk right into one of the bays and drop down on my knees beside the car he's working on.
“Haylee, what happened?!” he demands, his typically calm demeanor lost completely. I need to get ahold of myself enough to speak. He kneels down in front of me as I hear Parker, a friend that he is working with that morning, step up behind me.
“I just saw Chase,” I manage to sob against his chest.
“What? Where?” he asks pulling back from me a little and wiping the tears from my cheeks with a clean rag that's stashed in the front pocket of his jeans. “On TV? In a magazine again?” I know exactly why he's asking that. A year ago I'd grabbed a copy of Wake magazine and on the cover in all his bare-chested glory was my childhood friend triumphant over winning the amateur triple-crown in the King of Wake competition for the second year in a row. I'd been a wreck after seeing it and being reminded of all those memories and feelings.
“My front yard.”
He leans down to look me in the eyes like he's thinking that I'm crazy. Hell, I think I'm crazy!
“Chase Atwood was in your front yard? Just now?”
I nod and wipe the snot from my nose.
“What did you say?” he asks more quietly now, beginning to understand what has me so rattled.
I gulp some air. “I told him 'I can't do this' and hopped in my car and came here.” I barely get it out before I am sobbing again. That's certainly not how I'd envisioned seeing Chase again. I'm not normally a hysterical kind of girl either. The way I'm acting now is much more Brynn's style, so I really don't know what to do with myself.
“It's okay, Haylee,” Griff tries to sooth me as he pushes my hair back out of my face. “Listen, I'll go find him and talk to him, okay?”
I nod and bite my bottom lip hard enough that a metallic taste springs up at the tip of my tongue. He helps me up and asks Parker, who appeared when he heard my hysterics, to take me into the office and wait with me. And then Griff is gone.
“Let me grab you some water, Haylee,” I half-hear Parker say as he leads me into the office and has me sit down in a chair against the wall.
“I'm fine,” I mumble. I'm not, of course, but I have gotten pretty used to telling people that over the years. Parker is a friend who hangs out with us at the lake all the time, and sometimes works with Griff at the garage, but I don't need him on the list of people who worry about me.
I am so relieved that Griff believes what I've told him. So many people would have insisted that I am nuts and just imagined seeing Chase, that it's just wishful thinking. And maybe I did. Maybe I really am starting to lose my grip on reality. It won't surprise me really. No, Chase has to have been real. The only time I've seen him since he left was the picture on the cover of the magazine plus a small picture in the article about him. I still have the magazine under my bed and I've looked at it at least a couple million times, but the Chase from a few minutes ago had been different even from that. If I had imagined him, then my subconscious would have presented him the way I remembered him -- leaner and more lanky. The guy I saw a few minutes ago is taller and covered in chiseled muscle. There was a sadness in his eyes that I had never seen before. It could only mean he is really, really here.
“Haylee, you don't look so good.” Parker interrupts my thoughts as he hands me a bottle of water and sits down on the edge of the desk in front of me. “Let me take you home.”
I shake my head. “What time is it?”
He glances back at the desk. “It's 11:10.”
“Shit!” I curse and stand up on shaky legs. “I'm late for dance.” I move toward the door, but Parker grabs my arm.
“At least let me drive you. It's just down the road and I can walk back.”
I nod. I don't feel like arguing and I don't have time to waste. Madame Eileen is going to eat me alive as it is. I knot my hair into a mess on top of my head and wipe my face with Griff's rag again.
“Thanks, Parker,” I call out to him without even looking back as I hurry inside the studio. The cold, stale air burns my still-watery eyes, and I have no idea how I am going to get through this. I drop my bag along the side wall and hurry into position, earning raised eyebrows and smirks from the other girls as I do.
“Ms. Weston,” Madame Eileen's shrill voice rings out from right behind me. I shiver. “To what do we owe the honor of your late presence this morning?”
I cringe as I attempt to continue with the warm up stretches. “I'm sorry.”
Madame Eileen glides her willowy frame right in front of me and I avert my eyes. She is damn scary for such a small woman. Her salt and pepper hair is slicked back in a bun so tight that she will never need plastic surgery to lift her eyes. They are angled back from the sheer force of her bun just like always.
I can feel her taking in my disheveled appearance and I can also hear a few snickers from the bitches beside me. “What drama has descended upon you this time?”
“Nothing. I'm fine,” I murmur, fighting back more tears. I will not cry here.
“Then let's work!” the woman shouts, causing me to jump, and other than the music, everything else is silent.
Madame Eileen had been somewhat understanding when my father died. She'd been lenient on me then, but before that when Chase left and I couldn't possibly explain to her how devastated I was, she worked me to the bone until my tears ran dry. I've learned to control my emotions in here at least. Or so I thought.
I am so distracted by thoughts of Chase that I can't focus on what I am supposed to be doing. I keep messing up and bumping into the other girls. They don't waste the opportunity to shoot me dirty looks and elbow me back.
The image of Chase standing there in my yard is seared onto my retinas. He'd always been really good-looking, but this morning, after four years, holy hell, he looks like perfection. For the couple of years before he left, I had begun to realize that I felt more for him than just simple friendship. I couldn't tell him that at the time though. He's a guy and he'd been my friend for years. It would have freaked him out and changed things for sure. When he left and I felt
the depth with which that affected me, I realized that I'd been in love with him. Seeing him this morning, it pained me to admit it but I knew that I was still in love with him. I don't want to be though. He hurt me terribly. What is he doing back here anyway?
I don't even notice when the music cuts off suddenly and I finally look up to find everyone staring at me.
“That's enough, Ms. Weston,” Madame Eileen calls out as she stalks over to me. “You are a danger to my dancers right now. I don't know what is going on, but I want you to leave here immediately and go fix whatever it is.”
I have never been dismissed from practice before. My cheeks flame in embarrassment as I sigh shakily. 'Go fix it'…if only it were that easy.
“And I will expect you back here at six am tomorrow morning to make up your time with me, minus the distraction.”
“Yes, ma'am,” I reply quietly and walk past the other dancers to grab my backpack. I can feel Brynn's eyes on me as I cross the room. I wonder how she will react to the news that Chase is back.
The tears start up again as I drive back home. I am apprehensive pulling into my driveway, but there is no strange car here now. I let out a shuddering breath as I walk up the steps and open the front door.
I'm halfway up the stairs to my bedroom when Mom suddenly appears at the top and scares the everloving crap out of me. I don't want her to see me like this. “You're out early,” she says and then I see worry pass over her face as she takes in the fact that I've been crying.
“Haylee, what's wrong?” she asks, her fragile voice quivering already. She doesn't need my drama.
“Just a really bad day at practice,” I tell her as I walk past her and into my bedroom. She follows me and stands just outside the doorway. She never comes in here anymore. I probably should be happy about that the way most teenagers would be, but instead it just reminds me how distant we've becomes.
“I'm sure Madame Eileen understands that everybody has an off day sometimes,” she tries to reassure me. She can't bear to have me upset with dance or with Madame Eileen.
“I'll be fine, Mom. I'll make it up to Madame Eileen tomorrow morning,” I reply as I stand in the middle of my room with my hands on my hips. I want to change into my bathing suit, but I can't do that with Mom watching.
She gives me a weak smile and turns to leave. I close the door and pull off my dance clothes as quickly as I can. I drag out my royal blue bikini, the last clean one I have left. I'll have to do laundry later. I flop down on my bed and text Griff.
U home?
If Mom is off today, then I can't stay here. I have to get out NOW. My phone buzzes right away.
Yup. Why aren't u dancing?
Damn. He knows it's too early for me to be out. Well, I'll explain when I get over there, but he really shouldn't be too surprised. He saw how shaken up I was. I slide on a tank top and a pair of fringed denim shorts. I need to have the bathing suit covered up in case Mom is lurking about.
“I'm going out, Mom!” I call as I slide into flip flops and rush through the front door. She doesn't even ask where I'm going anymore. She probably assumes to Griff's, but still. I'm an eighteen-year-old girl. I could have been going to get drunk or high, or to my boyfriends' to have sex. I chuckle at that last thought especially. I don't have a boyfriend. Guess Mom doesn't have to worry about me too much.
By the time I cross the street, Griff is walking up his driveway to meet me. That's strange. He's never done that before. His behavior makes me instantly suspicious, so I glance down the driveway behind him. Off to the side by the barn is the same green Ford Focus that had been in my driveway that morning.
“What is he doing here?!” I hiss, my insides tightening up all over again.
“Relax, Haylee,” Griff insists, taking hold of both of my arms to get me to focus on just him. He knew what my reaction would be and that's why he cut me off. My eyes dart around looking for him. “He's inside. Please relax and hear me out.”
I take a deep breath and try to get the shaking of my body under control.
“It's been rough for him too these last four years, and he came to see us, to see this place again. We've been talking since I found him sitting in his car in your driveway. He got in late last night and crashed at the motel in town. Don't freak out on me but I asked him to stay at my place. He's my friend and I'm not gonna let him stay in some roach motel. He really wants to talk to you,” Griff explains and I just stare at him. Griff had been hurt when Chase left too. Maybe not like I had, and maybe guys just have an easier time forgiving.
“Why now?” After four years . . . what's different now?
Griff sighs and lets go off of my arms, glancing down at the ground. “He got into some trouble and lost control of what was really important and it finally woke his ass up.”
What the hell does that mean? How do you loose control on the cover of a magazine and winning wake boarding competitions in sunny California. Yeah, I'm a little bitter.
“Look, Haylee, I don't want to see you hurt again. I was there too, remember? But you never really got over him leaving, and here he is asking for a second chance. Just let him explain, okay?”
Is that what Chase is doing? Asking for a second chance? I don't know if I have it in me. But Griff is right: he's the one who's been there all along. He's been right beside me to help pick up the pieces of my life after Chase, and then again after my dad. I trust Griff. If nothing else, I have to do this for him.
Chapter 4 - Chase
I've just parked the Focus and I'm walking up the driveway when the front door bangs closed and there she is. I freeze right there where I stand as I watch her. Haylee Weston, my Haylee. She does still live here, and, my God, is she gorgeous. She'd always been beautiful and I don't know if it's just a case of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or the fact that she's a woman now, but seeing her now is like getting sucker punched in the gut. She hasn't noticed me here as she bounds down the front steps and reaches down to scoop a three-legged orange tabby cat up into her arms. I can't help but smile. Same old Haylee. The very first time I ever met Haylee was on the playground at my new school.
We had just moved across town into the lake house and I was the new kid. It had been a chilly fall afternoon and the kindergarten and second grade classes were out on the playground at the same time. I'd been sitting along the edge of the playground with another boy from my class who had been nice enough to talk to the new kid, when I looked up and saw this little blond girl go flying through the air as she leapt off the swing at its highest point. I was frozen as I waited for her to crash back to earth. I'd never seen anyone, even the big kids, take a leap like that one. She hit the ground hard and rolled to the side from the impact. I quickly glanced around but no one seemed to have noticed what had just happened. I jumped up and raced over to her. She was just pulling herself up onto her hands when I got there.
“Are you okay?” I gasped. She looked up at me then, and narrowed her bright, sky blue eyes at me for a moment. In that second, I felt like I could see everything about this girl through those expressive eyes, even though that was impossible. Her long blond hair was hanging haphazardly all around her face and shoulders, and her cheeks were pink from the cool air. She was absolutely adorable, and I didn't even like girls at the time.
She just nodded and began to pull herself the rest of the way up. There was chaos on the playground all around us, but I only saw her at that moment. She stood up briskly, but I could see that she was sore and slightly shaky from her fall.
“What did you do that for?” I couldn't help but ask her. She was so small that I knew she had to be a kindergartener. The top of her head barely even made it to my shoulders.
“I do it all the time,” she replied, brushing the front of her clothes off as though it was no big deal at all.
“Are you crazy? That's way too high.” I was beyond shocked. I thought girls, especially young ones, were timid and cautious and boring.
She smiled up at me, her eyes practicall
y glowing with joy. “I like to,” she said nonchalantly. “I like the way my tummy feels when I'm that high in the air.” I had burst out laughing at her. She was either completely fearless or really stupid, and I had a feeling she wasn't stupid. Later on that same afternoon, I was outside my house exploring when I ran into Griff, Brynn, and Haylee. I was surprised to see the same little blond girl from the playground kneeling down beneath a tree looking at something. When I got closer, the kids all called me over to come see the baby raccoon. Sure enough, in Haylee's tiny hands was a small masked raccoon. She'd looked at me with a smile and that same radiant glow of joy in her eyes that I'd seen earlier. We were all fast friends from that point on.
Well, until a few years ago anyway, . . .
I watch as Haylee kisses the top of the cat's head. Lucky animal, I think. As she puts the cat down again and takes a step toward me, I watch as she notices the Focus first and then her eyes land on me.
She slaps a hand over her mouth and I can see the shock register on her face. She knows who I am. I let my eyes drink her in standing there in a tiny beam of sunlight that filters down through the trees. Her hair is longer than I remember but still blond and streaked by the sun. It hangs loose around her shoulders and I finally notice what she's wearing. A pink bra top of some kind and these ridiculously short, black cotton shorts. That outfit is enough to instantly wake up a certain part of my body. She's still a petite little thing, but she has filled out a bit and has the most mouthwatering, slender curves. She is rocking some killer muscle tone too. I wonder if it's from boarding, if she still loves it as much as she used to. She was unstoppable on the water when we were kids: fearlessness mixed with fierce determination and a constant desire to keep up with the boys.
“Hayles,” I finally get my mouth to work, but my voice comes out low and soft like I'm telling her a secret. I can't help but smile at her. I have missed her so much.
Second Chances Page 3