Closing her eyes, all Shiloh wanted was to be warm and safe. Roan was with her. Leath wasn’t going to kill her. Oh, God, she’d come so close to dying! So close.
Warm tears burned in her closed eyes. They trickled down her muddy cheeks. She felt Roan’s roughened thumbs removing them. A sob tore from her. Reaching out, opening her eyes, Shiloh threw herself into his strong arms. Just Roan’s hands drawing her against him, the incredible warmth radiating from his powerful male body, made Shiloh cry even harder. Roan tucked her head against his shoulder and jaw, holding her gently, whispering words she couldn’t hear, his breath moist and warm against her cold, wet flesh.
All Shiloh wanted right now was Roan. To be held. To feel safe. To be flooded with the fierce love he held for her. Never had she felt so protected as right now, in this man’s arms. Roan had come for her. He couldn’t have known she was in danger, yet he had. How? As she nuzzled into the wet nylon of the jacket he wore, Shiloh’s mind began to shut down, the shock taking her, erasing all thoughts, everything. Except Roan’s lean, hard body against hers. Holding her. Just holding her . . .
Chapter Twenty-Three
Moonlight sifted silently through the gossamer curtains into the bedroom. Shiloh was content to lie in Roan’s arms, his body against hers. It was near dawn and she’d awakened, feeling his arms automatically tighten around her as they slept in his cabin. She felt Roan stir, realizing she’d accidentally awakened him. Three weeks had passed since Anton Leath’s body, what was left of it, was carried off Pine Grove and to the medical examiner at the Lincoln County morgue. Shiloh had not watched, burying her head against Roan’s chest, clinging to him, still not believing that it was really over. Finally. Once and for all.
“You okay?” Roan asked thickly, raising his head, his eyes half-open, studying her in the silence.
“Yes . . . Sorry, I just woke up out of the blue. I didn’t mean to wake you up, too.” She heard him grunt and then he propped himself up on one elbow. A few strands of dark brown hair fell over his broad brow. She reached up with her fingers, pushing them back into place, smiling into his drowsy features. “I should get up and let you sleep.” She’d been waking up most nights with nightmares of the chase. With her almost dying.
“No way,” Roan growled. He eased Shiloh on her back, studying her darkened eyes, and realized she’d had another flashback. At least, with time, they were less potent and intense. Sliding his fingers across her jaw, he leaned over, capturing her mouth, feeling her open like a lush, warm blossom beneath him. Her world had been torn apart three weeks ago. Roan knew what it was like to get wounded and almost die. He knew the trek that Shiloh was undertaking to work through her own near-death experience.
Her mouth was sweet, opening eagerly to him. Her breath moist across his cheek and nose as he deepened his exploration of her. The happy sound in her throat told him she enjoyed it, her hands sliding across his shoulders, drawing him closer, her breasts pressing tantalizingly against his chest.
Finally, Roan eased his mouth from hers. Neither of them was breathing evenly at this point. Searching her eyes, he saw remnants of anxiety in them along with building arousal. Skimming his hand from her back down to her hips, he rasped, “Bad dream?”
“Yes, same one. I’m getting tired of them,” she grumped, caressing his jaw.
“It’s just another way to work out the trauma,” Roan assured her, kissing her wrinkled brow. “You’re getting fewer of them as time goes on. That’s how it is.”
Shiloh pouted for a moment. “It seems like a bad dream now, Roan.”
“In time,” he soothed, kissing her nose and cheek, “you won’t have them anymore. It really will be in your past.” Lifting his head, he smiled a little. “Besides, you have a lot to look forward to.”
Her editor extended the deadline on her book because of the circumstances, much to Shiloh’s relief. Roan had seen her in the newly decorated office in the cabin and she was going back to writing. She’d asked him to read the new chapter, trepidation in her expression. Roan had read it and thought it was good. The relief in Shiloh’s eyes made him realize just how much she worried about being able to ever write again. The week after her escape from Leath, she had fallen completely apart. Roan had asked Maud for time off, stayed with her at the cabin, and helped her work through it. He didn’t realize how much a person could cry, but was glad to be there for Shiloh, to hold her.
Roan finally realized that ever since Isabella’s murder, Shiloh had sat on her grief, her shock and trauma. And it had all come due after her own near miss with death. Talking and crying had gotten her through the worst of it. And the last two weeks, Shiloh had found a new platform to live her life on. With him. She asked if she could live with him, to try out their relationship, to test it and see if it was going to stand the test of time. Roan knew it would, but she wasn’t there. At least, not yet. But one day, he knew she would be. Every day, he was seeing her settle in, get back to what she loved, which was writing stories.
As he studied her clear expression, he traced her arched eyebrow. “Every morning when I wake up with you at my side, you’re more beautiful than yesterday. Did you know that?” he asked, and he held her lustrous green eyes that widened over his words.
“No . . . I didn’t know that.”
“Well,” he murmured, trailing his fingers down the slope of her cheek, “maybe I need to say it more often. Let you know that you hold my heart.” He saw her lips part and soften, tears glimmering in her eyes. Shiloh was so easy to please. Roan was finding that if he told her what he was thinking, it made a huge impact on her. He was so used to working around men where a few words sufficed. But she was a woman and a writer. And words, he was finally grasping, were her lifeblood, the main highway into her heart and soul. And he was mindful of this because he loved her and he wanted Shiloh to finally be happy. He was going to learn to speak up or else. It wasn’t easy for him, but she was worth his every effort.
“I like when you tell me what you’re thinking,” she whispered. “I’m not a mind reader.”
A corner of his mouth hooked upward. “So you tell me but you keep finishing sentences I start. That’s pretty impressive, Darlin’.”
She searched his eyes, her hand coming to rest against his darkly haired chest. “Roan? I need to say something. Are you awake enough to talk? Or do you want to wait until after breakfast?”
He gave her an amused look because right now, his erection was pressing against her belly and he was wide awake. Roan couldn’t kiss Shiloh without wanting her in every possible way. “Now’s fine. What’s on your mind?”
Taking a deep breath, Shiloh said in a low tone, “I’ve been thinking . . . about my apartment in New York City.” She frowned. “I want to stay out here with you. I love Manhattan, but my soul is fed by being out here in the West.”
That apartment was where Shiloh grew up, for the most part. She knew no home other than her aunt and uncle’s home. He realized the importance of her decision. “Are you sure?”
Nodding, she closed her eyes and took a ragged breath. Reopening her eyes, she stared up at him. “It’s been coming for a while now. Maud told me a long time ago, when she came back for my mother’s funeral, that Manhattan owned my heart, but that my soul belonged in Wyoming. She was right.”
His heart thudded with sudden joy, but he kept the reaction to himself because he could see how torn Shiloh was. “Maybe there’s a compromise here?” he wondered out loud. “Your apartment is paid for. I know there are other fees to consider, but the mortgage is paid off. What if you leased it out? It would bring you in some income and it would still be yours. Be a part of your family history. A part of you.”
Roan didn’t think, at least right now, that Shiloh could sell it outright. That would be too much for her to emotionally bear. Maybe later. Maybe never. He would support whatever decision she made. He saw tears drift down the sides of her face and he gently smoothed them away with his fingers. He knew how much his family’s ranc
h meant to him even though he didn’t live there. It was still there. A part of his family’s soul and history. A part of of him. He sensed how much the apartment meant to Shiloh. Every good memory she had of her mother and father were contained in it. And of course, the bad memories, too. But for the most part, that apartment had been her world growing up. It had more good than bad memories attached to it.
“I like that idea. I never thought in that direction.” Shiloh gave him a tremulous smile.
“If you want, you could move your furniture out here. We could put some in the cabin here, and put the rest in storage until I can build on to the cabin.” He grinned, seeing her rally, seeing hope flare in her eyes.
“You never said you were going to add on to the cabin.”
Shrugging, he said, “The subject hadn’t come up.” Looking around, Roan added, “It’s too small right now. We need a couple more bedrooms. Maybe a sunroom for you facing south because in the long winters around here, it’s nice to sit in a bright, sunny room with green plants growing in it to remind you that winter isn’t always going to stay.”
Shiloh studied him in the gathering silence. “I have some family antique furniture that means the world to me, Roan. You wouldn’t mind if I brought them out here?”
“Not at all.” He gave her a small shake, smiling down at her. “This is your home too, Darlin’. Not just mine anymore.” He saw tears glimmering in her large, wide eyes. “I meant what I said three weeks ago, Shiloh. I love you.”
More tears streaked down her cheeks. Sniffing, Shiloh whispered unsteadily, “You never gave up on me, did you?”
He gave her a grin. “I’m German. Remember? Stubborn as hell. When I saw you for the first time at the airport, I wanted you. I knew you were the one for me, Shiloh.” Roan caressed her flushed cheek. “I never had any doubt about it. But convincing you to stay with me rather than go back to the East Coast was a challenge.”
Shaking her head, she sniffed and smiled, sliding her hand around his thick, strong neck. “Funny. When I saw you, I knew you were the one, too.”
His brows rose. “You did?”
Laughing softly, Shiloh said, “Yes. I fought it. I was distracted by the stalker, by not being able to write at the time.”
“That chapter in your life is over now, Darlin’.”
Becoming serious, Shiloh studied Roan. “Yes, thank God, it is.”
“Do you want me to help you with the apartment?”
Nodding, Shiloh said, “I really prefer leasing it out. I-I can’t sell it, Roan. It’s like tearing out a piece of my heart and I would love for you to come back to it. See where I live.”
“I understand. Just tell me how I can support you on this and we’ll get it done.”
Sighing, she leaned up, kissing him gently, her hand against his cheek. “You’ve always been there for me, Roan.”
“And I’ll always try to be.”
“I love you, Roan . . .” Shiloh said, pressing against his erection.
Groaning, he laid her against the bed, capturing her jaw, angling it so that he could hungrily plunder her soft, parting lips. As he slid his mouth across hers, she twisted her hips, moving sinuously against his erection, letting him know just how much she wanted him. Shiloh wasn’t shy about sex, enjoying it as a full partner. He gloried in her fearlessness and her hunger, which matched his own.
Their mouths clung to each other, sliding, deepening until he felt her hand come to his shoulder. She pushed strongly, silently asking him to lie on his back. He complied, breaking their heated kiss, seeing the glitter in Shiloh’s eyes. She liked riding him. And he liked having her on top of him, sliding his hands around her waist, pulling her up and over him, placing her wet core against his taut erection.
As she settled down upon him, Roan clenched his teeth, drawing a swift breath of air between them. She was so heated, sliding against him, the ache building so fast that he groaned again, helpless beneath her onslaught. Her hips ground into his, her hands splaying out on his chest, arousal burning in her eyes, her lips parted, breath ragged as she pushed against him. Roan knew he wasn’t going to last. And she didn’t either because she leaned forward upon him, dragging her breasts suggestively across his chest as she lifted her hips just enough. Just enough for him to thrust deeply into her sweet, scalding confines.
Roan’s fingers dug into her flared hips, being swallowed by her tight grip, tensing, his whole body going taut as she relentlessly continued her burning onslaught against him. He whispered her name as she sat up, taking him fully, smiling down at him, her hair tousled and framing her flushed features. It was the arousal, the lust in her eyes, that made him soar. This was the first time in the three weeks that he felt Shiloh fully here, with him. Present. Wanting him. Only him. The sensations amplified with each thrust of her hips sucking him more deeply into her. He groaned with each languid, teasing movement. She knew what she was doing. Knew what he could give her. And he wouldn’t disappoint her.
Roan heard her sigh, head tipping back as he arched his hips powerfully against hers. Her lips opened. A sweet sound caught in her slender, exposed throat. Feeling her fingers begin to dig into his chest wall, feeling her body begin to contract around his, Roan knew she was close to coming. Sliding his large hands around her hips, he held her in place, thrusting upward, teasing that hard knot of swollen nerves near her entrance. He saw her suddenly tense, her back arching, felt her body contract violently around him, felt that sudden honeyed fluid flow powerfully around him as the orgasm exploded within her. Shiloh’s crying out his name made him only want to please her more and he kept her angled, kept up the pressure upon that sweet spot in her body, watching her begin to melt and fly apart within his hands and body.
Just feeling Shiloh fused with him and seeing the satisfaction flow across her expression, the flush that rushed across her upper body and into her face, told Roan everything. He clenched his teeth, willing himself to wait as he teased every bit of that orgasm out of her trembling, damp body. She moaned, closed her eyes, and collapsed against him, her head nestled near his jaw and neck. Roan smiled, feeling the wild beat of her heart against his, felt her quivering with fulfillment, her small arms wrapping around his neck, holding him with her woman’s strength. Her hair tickled his jaw and lips. Closing his eyes, he gentled his grip on her hips, allowing her to rest, to catch her second breath. Because Roan knew Shiloh enjoyed her orgasms and so did he. Sliding his hand down her spine, he felt how soft and pliant she’d become beneath his fingers. Her skin was warm, damp velvet. She was so alive, so sensitive and he felt his heart grow fierce with the love he held for her alone.
As he waited, Roan absorbed her weight against his taller, harder body. She was petite against him, but her spirit was huge, her heart even larger. Glorying in holding her, skimming her relaxed form against him, he had never felt happier. It didn’t take long when he felt that invisible shift within Shiloh, felt her returning to her body from wherever that orgasm had taken her. She barely lifted her face, meeting his eyes.
“Your turn,” she whispered, smiling down at him. And she twisted her hips, hearing him groan and stiffen.
Roan liked her ability to share, to want to please him as much as he pleased her. As she shifted, slowly sat up, pushing her hair away from her face, he smiled up at her. There was a glitter of arousal back in her eyes. She was ready for that second round, only this time, he hoped to coordinate it such that they would come together. There was a raw satisfaction gleaming in her eyes as she thrust and took him deeply into herself. Eyes closing, Roan rasped her name, his hands wrapping around her hips, feeling her plunge relentlessly against him, making his entire back arch off the bed as she brought him to a scalding explosion that tore his breath out of him. And as he felt the bolt of heat strike down through him, slamming him into another world where only light and explosions occurred, he felt her tense. Heard Shiloh cry out his name, her fingers dig frantically into his chest. There was never a better sensation—that coming together,
their bodies taut, stiff, and paralyzed as the pleasure throbbed and moved through each of them.
Everything melted around Roan. It felt as if he were permanently fused to Shiloh’s sweet, softer body accommodating him, felt a oneness that he’d never experienced before. In his mind, behind his tightly shut eyes, Roan knew it was their love for each other that was taking them to a whole new level of satisfying physical experiences. Savoring him, she rode him as if knowing how to prolong his climax and give him optimal pleasure. Her damp hips slid against his, her breath ragged with his, her strength matching his own as they clung to each other afterward.
It was the most freeing, the sweetest feeling in the world to Roan as Shiloh rested wearily against him, her breath moist against his neck. She was weak, her fingers barely skimming his other shoulder in silent thanks for being his partner. Yeah, he liked what they shared. Bed and sex had never been their issue. And as Roan moved his hand gently down her torso, feeling each of the slender ribs beneath her warm, soft flesh, he smiled, still caught up in that other universe where only visceral gratification spun around him. Shiloh knew how to please him, get the most out of him, and then come back to please him some more. It didn’t get any better than this. Not ever.
Gradually, Roan recouped his strength. He eased Shiloh off him and gently tucked her in beside him. She gave him a drowsy smile, her eyes satiated with pleasure.
Closing his eyes, Roan wanted nothing more than this moment with Shiloh. He would always want this brave, beautiful woman. And silently, he swore he would protect her, give her room to grow and know herself in ways she’d never been given a chance to do. He would love and protect her. A new fierceness flowed through him as he held Shiloh close, felt her warmth against him. He wanted this woman to carry his children. She would be such a good mother. There was no question in Roan’s mind, as he embraced her gently for a moment and then relaxed his arms a bit, that Shiloh was going to finally bloom here in Wyoming.
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