“So you think Kyle will show up, too?” Michael asked.
Julia drew a deep breath. “I think you’ll have someone at that breakfast with you,” she assured him, deliberately vague.
Reaching out, she ruffled his hair.
He scowled and ran his hand over the top of his head. He jumped up from his chair, eyeing her as if she’d committed a cardinal sin.
She stifled a laugh.
“See ya later,” he said before running back into the hall.
“Slow down,” she called out.
As soon as he was gone, she sat at her desk and jotted down the date, time and place of the breakfast. Michael might have unwavering faith in Kyle, but she couldn’t afford such blind trust.
She’d been disappointed too many times by people she loved. By family. And yes, by Kyle. So just in case, just in case, Julia decided to make sure the teen had a backup male to be with him at that father-son breakfast.
The team charter took off late due to an unexpected storm that had backed up the flight schedule by hours. Kyle arrived in Florida exhausted and still pissed the team had managed only one win on the road. He fell into a dreamless sleep and the alarm he’d set to accommodate jet lag went off too damn early. But he forced himself into the shower, standing under the hot spray long enough to make sure he was really awake and functioning. He hopped into his truck, drove over the bridge and stopped at the nearest coffee place before making his way to Michael Cortez’s school.
He never gave his cell-phone number out to anyone he met through charity work. He knew better than to make promises he couldn’t keep because of his crazy schedule. Besides, he never knew what kind of request someone might ask of him. He gladly did whatever charity work the Suns arranged and some on his own, if an organization was important to him. But he never got involved beyond the event itself. Yet something about this boy struck a chord with him.
Kyle didn’t kid himself that the teenager’s connection to Julia made him more important to Kyle than the tons of other underprivileged kids he met. That and he’d really bonded with the teenager, saw so much of himself in Michael’s yearning to play and desire to lose himself in the game.
Michael had left a message telling Kyle when to be at his school and informing him why the father-son breakfast fit into Kyle’s schedule. The kid hadn’t asked. He’d just trusted Kyle to show up and sit in as his dad—because no one else would. When he’d gotten the message and again now, a lead weight settled on Kyle’s chest. He’d been that kid whose father hadn’t shown up more times than he could count. And Kyle’s father had been around. He’d just cared more about booze than his son.
Kyle was proud he could stand in today so Michael wouldn’t experience the pain and humiliation Kyle had felt. And he was humbled that the teenager had asked it of him at all.
He parked the truck in the crowded parking lot and walked toward the school, scanning the groups of kids and parents, looking for Michael. Kyle finally found him, only to discover the teenager wasn’t alone.
Dr. Feelgood, the same guy who’d been with Julia in the hospital cafeteria that first day, stood by Michael’s side.
Confused, Kyle stepped up and forced a smile. “Hi, kid.”
“Kyle! Awesome! I told Ms. Caldwell you’d come!”
Kyle narrowed his gaze. “Of course I’m here. Did you doubt it?” The kid wore Kyle’s jersey so he must have had some faith.
“Nah. I knew,” he said, smiling ear to ear.
“You just thought two dads would be cooler than one?” he asked, turning to the other man. “Dr. Montoya.” Kyle forced himself to extend a hand in greeting.
He still remembered the man saying something about not standing a chance with Julia. Which meant he was interested. The thought had acid flowing in Kyle’s gut.
“It’s Richard. And it’s good to see you again, Hansen. Sorry about the rough trip you and your team had.”
“We’ll turn it around.” At the reminder, Kyle set his jaw, wondering if this man was going to be a jerk and if he’d make it through the morning without wanting to deck him.
“I’m going to go get my friends and tell them to come check you out. They didn’t believe you’d be here as my dad.” Michael dashed off, leaving the two adults alone.
Kyle hoped he could act like one.
“Actually, Michael wasn’t the one who doubted you’d show,” the good doctor said. “It was Julia.”
I told Ms. Caldwell you’d come! Michael’s words came back to him. Kyle cocked his head to one side. “So she asked you to back me up?”
The other man nodded. “Just in case.”
“Well, there was no need, but since you’re here, two dads are much better than one. Or none,” Kyle added under his breath.
“I can see why you have such a decent reputation around town. I’d like to hate you, but since I can’t, I wish you luck. She’s a tough nut to crack,” Richard added, referring to Julia.
Before Kyle could reply, he was swarmed by teenage boys with paper and pens, demanding an autograph. He settled onto a picnic table with Michael by his side, assigning the kid the important job of telling Kyle his friends’ names before he signed their papers.
All the while, he tried not to think about the fact that a teenager he barely knew trusted him more than the woman who owned his heart.
Midmorning the day of Michael’s breakfast, Julia caught sight of Richard coming out of a patient’s room and waved. “Can we talk?”
He inclined his head and they walked down the hall where they could have some privacy. She’d been curious about how his stint as dad went at Michael’s father-son breakfast.
“Listen, I have to thank you again for agreeing to go with Michael. I know you didn’t owe me any favors, but I really appreciate you stepping up that way.”
Richard studied her with his appraising gaze. “No, I didn’t owe you, but I agree with you that the healthy child is as important as the sick one. I was happy to attend.”
She smiled. “That’s why I asked you. I know you don’t leave your work at the hospital. You take it home with you. Anyway, thanks for going.”
“As I said, my pleasure. But it wasn’t necessary. Michael had his first choice there after all.”
Julia’s stomach lurched. “Kyle showed up?”
Richard nodded. “And he wasn’t too pleased to see he had company. Especially when he realized you’d arranged for me to be there if he was a no-show.”
Julia broke into a cold sweat. “You told him that?” she asked, horrified.
“I didn’t have to. Michael informed Kyle that he’d told Ms. Caldwell Kyle would show up.”
She leaned against the wall for support and Richard eyed her warily. “Are you okay?”
“Just a little dizzy,” she admitted. And caught off guard.
“Do you mind if I offer you some unsolicited advice?”
She waved a hand. “You might as well. I’m not doing so well relying on myself.”
“In all the time you’ve been at this hospital, even when you were still in graduate school, you rarely dated, and when you did, it never lasted.”
“You’ve been keeping track?” she asked wryly. Strangely, she wasn’t offended.
“I was always biding my time and trying to understand what made you tick. And you were always an enigma to me. Until Kyle Hansen walked into the cafeteria a couple of weeks ago.”
Julia tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry and parched. “And?”
“And when you looked at him, I saw an entirely different woman than the one I knew. For a few seconds, before you caught yourself, you were like a teenager, carefree, and happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
Now she really couldn’t swallow, or speak, either.
“I don’t know what your issues are, I don’t know what you’re hiding from, but it shouldn’t be from him.” He shrugged. “That’s my two cents, for what it’s worth.”
“It’s worth a lot.” She smiled.
He lean
ed over and kissed her cheek. “Good luck, Julia. Whatever you decide.” Richard strode away, ever confident no matter what obstacles life placed in his way.
She could learn from him, she thought, watching him go.
Alone, Julia retreated to her office, where she shut the door, locked it and sank to the floor. Then she lowered her head between her knees and prayed for the dizziness to subside. Once she started breathing evenly, she forced herself to deal with what was making her so upset.
Kyle had shown up for Michael’s event when she’d been convinced he wouldn’t. She’d even asked another man to attend in his place.
Kyle had said he’d call her from the road and she’d been positive he wouldn’t. Even after they’d shared a spectacular night that had rocked her world. And from the way he’d looked at her before, during and after, he’d felt the same way.
But instead of facing her feelings and acknowledging the powerful connection still between them, she’d run far and fast. Worse, she’d made him feel as if he wasn’t worthy of her faith, or her trust, or even her love.
And hadn’t he had enough of that to last a lifetime?
Almost ten years later and she was still wallowing in the pain of being neglected by her parents, putting barriers up against the one thing she wanted more than life itself because she was afraid of losing it—afraid of losing him—again.
But what was worse? Losing him after trying her best to make it work? Or knowingly throwing away a second chance because she was too afraid to even try?
She rose, and as she pulled herself together, Richard’s words came back to her, loud and clear. I don’t know what your issues are, I don’t know what you’re hiding from, but it shouldn’t be from him.
Well, she knew what her issues were and it was time to get over them. No more hiding from herself or from life. She was going after what—make that who—she wanted.
Whether or not he would still be there was another story.
CHAPTER NINE
Kyle stood by his locker stretching and trying to get in the zone. He was pitching tonight, coming off not just a loss in the last game he’d started, but a humiliating road trip the fans probably wouldn’t let the team forget. Hell, he couldn’t forget. But he couldn’t concentrate either.
How the hell could Julia think so little of him she’d send that uptight doctor to Michael’s father-son breakfast on the assumption that Kyle wouldn’t show? Did she honestly believe he’d let the kid down? After the way he was let down every damn day of his life?
He slammed his locker door closed, rattling the walls. Every last one of his teammates steered clear.
“Hey, Hansen!”
Macy.
“Go away. I’m pitching in an hour.”
She came up to him, standing toe to toe, in his personal space. “I’ve got a meeting for you to take. Now.”
What little buzz had been going on in the locker room came to a halt. Everyone knew his rule.
“You’re kidding me?” he asked.
“You’re in a fine mood.” She placed her hands on her hips. “No, I’m not kidding. I’m serious.”
“Then you must have a death wish,” he muttered.
“No, I have a wish to win, like everyone else in this organization, including you. So take the meeting and then get yourself on the field and pitch like you’re being paid to.” She paused to draw a breath. “In my office. Now.” She turned and strode away, red hair flying behind her.
Kyle stormed out after her.
Not one player got in his way.
He walked down the hall, not in the mood for ownership to berate him for his attitude before a game—no matter how valid their complaint.
At Macy’s office door, he blew out a harsh stream of air before letting himself inside, where he expected to find the general manager or owner, ready to chew him out.
Instead, he found Julia.
Julia, in her tight jeans and his jersey, standing in front of the wall of photos she’d been admiring the first time he saw her here.
She glanced up.
He speared her with a look and turned to walk out.
“Kyle, wait.”
Her soft voice tripped him up. “I can’t do this before a game. I need to focus.”
And she was as big a distraction as he could get. Macy ought to know better.
“I know. And I wouldn’t be here unless I thought I could give that back to you. Your focus, I mean.”
He wasn’t in the mood for riddles, but he knew he wouldn’t get rid of her unless he listened. And now that he’d seen her—glossy lips, breasts full beneath his number—he wouldn’t be concentrating on a pitch unless he found out why she’d come.
He turned around to face her, crossed his arms over his chest and waited.
She blew out a puff of air. “Okay, here’s the thing. I know you believe I don’t have faith in you. You think I don’t trust you and I’ve done nothing to make you believe otherwise. But it’s not you. It’s me.”
More riddles, he thought in frustration. And the clock was ticking down to game time. Still, he waited.
She clenched and unclenched her fists in a nervous gesture he remembered well and he fought with himself not to soften toward her.
“Look, unlike you, I had the perfect childhood,” she said. “Well, as close to perfect as you can get, at least as far as families are concerned. And then my sister got sick and my parents forgot they had me. I was all alone. I woke myself up, got myself to school and then home from school. I cooked my dinner and did my homework…”
Nothing any different than what he’d done every day of his life. Except she hadn’t been used to it. She’d known love and attention and then she’d lost it.
She rubbed her hands on her jeans and met his gaze. “And on top of all that, I worried about whether my sister would live or die.”
He felt like an awful human being for being so angry, but what he’d experienced had to count too, he thought, struggling between feeling petty and wanting to pull her into his arms and hold her tight.
She turned and walked to the wall of photos before facing him again. “And sometimes I was jealous she had their attention. Can you imagine that?” she asked. “And when I wasn’t jealous, I was resentful that she was sick. I mean, I was a mess. And then I got stuck tutoring you.” For the first time, the beginnings of a grin tilted her lips, making them sexier because she was smiling.
And he felt the first real crack in his armor. Because he remembered that time too and it also made him smile.
Turning, she stepped toward him. “You were my everything, Kyle. And when you asked me to go with you—well, actually you expected it—I just…couldn’t. My sister’s life was in limbo. I had to stay. Just like you had to chase your dream. I understood that in a way you didn’t.”
“You’re right about that,” he admitted. He hadn’t understood or forgiven. Not until he’d seen her again. He shook his head, fighting the shame.
“The thing is, you could have called or come back for me, or checked on me. But you didn’t.” Her voice broke.
And he wanted to apologize and bury his face in her soft hair and kiss her lips, but she kept on talking. He let her, listening and battling his own pain, and his own memories of that time.
“So my life went on.” A tight smile pulled at her mouth. “My sister died and I thought maybe my family would pull together, grieve together. That I’d get something back to compensate for the huge gaping loss. But that never happened, either. I was really well and truly alone with one big lesson learned— People leave. People who say they love you can’t be trusted to act like they do. And from then on, I was going to protect my heart because I never ever wanted to feel that way again.” Her brown eyes were big, damp and open to him for the first time in almost ten years.
He knew in that moment she’d come here and risked her heart. For him.
He couldn’t love her any more than he did right now.
“Julia—”
Sh
e held up one hand. “I’m not finished.”
He suppressed a grin. “Okay.”
She swallowed hard. “You need to know that I think you’re an amazing man. You’re a stand-up guy. Honest and trustworthy and I should have known that. But the reasons I didn’t know that have nothing to do with who you are today.”
“No, they have to do with who I was. A selfish, immature kid who expected you to leave your dying sister and grieving parents and come with me for an uncertain future. And when you wouldn’t, I decided I was the wronged party and it was all your fault. You’re right. I should have come back for you, and if I’d looked inside my heart and beyond my overly inflated ego, I would have.”
“So we both share some of the blame. Good to know.” She laughed and wiped a tear from her face. “Anyway, I came to tell you that. To apologize and hopefully take away enough of the hurt and anger so you can focus tonight. And win.”
“Because that’s what matters to me, right? The game and winning.”
“It’s what has to matter tonight, anyway. You’re due on the mound soon.”
He glanced at the clock on the wall. His manager and the pitching coach were probably ready to kill him by now. Unless Macy was soothing their tempers.
He shook his head. “No. From this minute on, you’re what matters most to me. Always and forever. Promise me you won’t forget it?” He opened his arms.
And she flew right in, burrowing into him as if she’d never let go. He separated them enough to tip her head with his hand and seal his mouth over hers in a kiss that meant everything to him.
“I love you,” he said between kisses.
“And I love you,” Julia murmured, putting everything she had, was and would be into the kiss.
She wanted to spend the rest of her life proving to him that she did indeed believe he was trustworthy and honorable and a man she wanted by her side now and always. They’d wasted ten years. She didn’t want to lose another minute.
When someone banged on the office door, Julia wanted to pull back, but Kyle kept his arms solidly around her waist. “Come in,” he called, not letting her go.
Macy peeked her head in. “Um, I’m getting reamed for dragging you out of the locker room so close to game time. You about ready?” she asked hopefully.
More Than Words, Volume 7 Page 7