by E. Cullen
“Alo... I am Edwo… rth… Cuddles, you are Bellduh… Swansinner.”
“Are you ok? Do you speak English?” Bellduh asked.
“Thanks for asking, I’m fine. Just choked on my bubble gum”.
“I just came back from gym class,” Bellduh said.
“You’re supposed to shower right after,” I said.
Wow. I couldn’t believe that I had just said that. I guessed her blood that smelled so good was just too much for me to handle. I didn’t know how to talk to her. Bellduh started to smell herself, and looked away from me. This was an embarrassing moment.
“We never really met. I’ve seen you around. I’m Edworth Cuddles”.
“Nice to meet you, I guess. Wait, you already introduced yourself.”
This was not looking good at that moment. I needed to do something fast. I was Edworth Cuddles, and I could do anything. I wanted to try to make her laugh. The girls loved funny guys, but I was a junkie. I wanted to try to be a funny junkie.
The teacher interrupted the class and started to talk about onions and carrots, or something ridiculous like that. Bellduh and I carried on a meaningful conversation.
“I really don’t like onions; they stink like garbage,” I said.
“I really like the blonde highlights in your hair,” Bellduh said.
Wow. Bellduh actually noticed my hair. This was a breakthrough, and my strange confidence went up 1000%.
“I can spend hours on my hair every morning. I’m very conceited and so are my family members, if you haven’t already noticed.”
“Well, at least you take care of yourself. That is nothing to be ashamed about. I like my guys conceited and prettier than me. It brings up my self-confidence, if I date someone better looking than me.”
“Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy, Bellduh. To tell you the truth, you smell beautiful. I can’t get over that perfume you are wearing.”
“I don’t wear perfume, so I guess it comes natural.”
She had gotten that right. Bellduh’s blood came natural to me, and I had planned to suck the life right out of her someday.
“So, that guy Casper. He is like so weird. Some people say he is on drugs. He looks like he’s stoned out of his mind all the time.”
“Well, he is my distant cousin. Casper may look high, but he is actually far from it. He can be a little off sometimes, well, maybe a lot. My family can be really weird.”
“But isn’t he dating your sister?”
“Well, Alicia is adopted. It’s complicated. My family are junkies if you know what I mean.”
“I heard you like to hang out at La Shove Me.”
“Well, I don’t know about that, Bellduh. I really don’t want to get shoved around. I heard a lot of people get shoved around there.”
“I see, well, I might go there someday, but I might be too scared. Well, this lesson about onions is making me very thirsty,” Bellduh said.
I continued to stare at Bellduh and watch her talk about onions and carrots or whatever; I wasn’t really listening to her. I inhaled her bloody scent, and it gives me a real high.
“Your eyes are really grotesque. They changed colors just now. Wow. That’s like so weird, Edworth. They just went from green to blue, to red, to orange, to yellow, and to golden light brown honeydew. How did that happen?”
“It’s like kind of uh… well, the onion, it...” I murmured.
I got up and stormed out of the classroom. I was so embarrassed that my mechanical color contacts had malfunctioned. I paid big money to have them installed.
Act 5
Dating The Junkie
The town of Eclipse had a carnival just outside Eclipse High. The carnival brought out the town nut jobs, but I was still suspicious that Bellduh had something to with it. Everyone headed over to the carnival, which was only several steps away from the school parking lot. As I stood outside at my car, I did my best to look cool. I attempted to strike a pose, and hoped that Bellduh noticed me staring at her. I pulled out a cigar, yet I didn’t even smoke, but I thought I would look cool. I had a feeling that Bellduh thought smoking was cool. I felt like a movie star as people noticed me as they made their way to the carnival. I noticed Casper from where I am standing, and he was juggling some apples, yet he really sucked. I supposed that he was in the carnival spirit.
Alicia didn`t think that I should stalk Bellduh, but I never listened. I could smell Bellduh from where I stood, and she smelled like blueberry cotton candy. She stood with her wicked friends across the parking lot from me. I could have sworn that they had been casting spells on people. They were dressed up for the carnival. They looked very gothic with their dark clothing. Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton approached Bellduh as I watched, and actually looked forward to his poetic personality. I gave up trying to impress Bellduh and walked closer as I pretended to socialize with the others, but I listened in on the conversation. Bellduh and her friends giggled as Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton approached her.
I couldn’t help but smile since I was ready to be entertained by his ridiculous personality.
“Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton, we were just on our way to the carnival, but you can come if you want,” Bellduh said.
“Come thy Bellduh, shall we travel to the place be far? The roses walk but a pink cotton and the sky shall fall upon us. Will thy Bellduh accompany to thy theater for thy Opera show?”
“Gee, Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton. I’m not sure. I kind of have plans with, like, babysitting my dog. I might be shaving my cat. It’s like a ritual of mine. I’m not witch as you may have heard. I just like practicing cool stuff.”
“I shall come once more to seek thy Bellduh up this day. Seek not what is in your soul, but beware the demon is upon, who lurks thy very grounds. Take thy apple and thy rose, for they shall provide sanctuary from thy junkie nearby.”
Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton walked away from Bellduh as I kept my hand over my mouth as a giggled. Bellduh and her friends watched as he mumbled away. I was certain he was referring to me as he spoke his riddles.
I followed Bellduh to the carnival as she walked beautifully with her friends. I savored the taste of Bellduh’s blood as the air blew the scent up my nostrils. I occasionally glanced at Bellduh, and wanted to rip her clothes off, I mean, I wanted to hand her roses and a box of chocolates with the assorted flavored creams inside.
I’ve thought about covering Bellduh with chocolate syrup with a hint of her blood, and wanted to lick it off her body. I hope you don’t think less of me, but I’m a junkie that must have what I desire. I apologize to you since I’ve gone too far thinking about Bellduh with my dirty birdy thoughts, yet you wanted to know.
I wanted to put an end to Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton. As ridiculous as he was, I hated when he conversed with Bellduh because it made my amazing mind go crazy, though I didn’t show it. He had suddenly manned up and walked towards Bellduh. He wanted to ask her out on a date. He was hoping to score with Bellduh that weekend. Bellduh saw Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton approaching as I looked on. Bellduh saw me in the background as I continued to strike a pose.
Bellduh looked at me and smirked. I wondered if she thought that I looked funny. Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton noticed Bellduh`s glance at me and turned back to look back at me. He was suspicious, and he was wondering if Bellduh and I had something going on, and he didn`t think that I was right for Bellduh. He thought he could pick her up, yet he had no game.
“Bellduh, it is I, Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton, remember? But, of course, you do.”
“Yes, Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton Shakespeare… Knewton. I know you. We have been around each other. How could I forget?” Bellduh said.
“Where are thou art, Bellduh? You look really, uh… nice today Bellduh. You smell good, like strawberries.”
Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton must have smelled the same thing that I smelled, but he was not a junkie like me that was for sure. He was so
pathetic. His conversation with Bellduh had gotten cheesier.
“Strawberries. Really? Honestly, I hate strawberries. I`m allergic to strawberries. They make me puke. I had a bad experience with strawberries as a child. In fact, I hate that you even mentioned strawberries,” Bellduh said.
That actually made my day. Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton’s mouth dropped. Thanks to him, I knew that Bellduh didn`t even like strawberries. Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton was speechless. He cleared his throat.
“I… I`m, uh, sorry Bellduh. Where art thou strawberries? I didn`t know. Hey, like, you know what? You actually don`t smell like straw… I mean berries. You know, the red… berry. Well, you smell good, like, clean. You smell like bacon.”
“Bacon? Do I smell like bacon? Well, I love that smell. Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton that`s so thoughtful of you to say,” Bellduh smiled.
Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton was scoring points. This wasn’t right. Bellduh was not even noticing me as I tried to look cool, striking a pose.
“Where art go out with thy Bellduh? We should go out sometime, Bellduh. Like maybe… a movie? Eat popcorn, with lots of butter?”
“I don`t know. Popcorn, butter? I hate the smell. Smells like dirty socks. Movies? Sounds like a crowded place,” Bellduh said.
I could hear every word from Bellduh`s mouth. Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton was just having such a hard time getting a date with Bellduh.
“Hey, that`s ok… I guess. Like, Where art fail? Would you like to go to the circus freak show? You know freak show. With… like, me? Like, you know, getting drunk. Like, with me. Like, dancing like nobody is watching. If you want to, I mean, if like you don`t want to, it`s ok, I totally understand. Where art thou, right? So, do you want to go with me, Bellduh?”
“I don`t know Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton. Circus freak show, getting drunk? I`m not much of a junkie. I`m allergic to alcohol. Sounds a little crowded. I don`t know.”
“Well, really, it`s not a problem you know. Where art thou, right? We can just hang out, like at school, like we do now. You know. Hang out, with like, me? You know what I mean, Bellduh? Hang out. No? Yes? Maybe?”
Bellduh suddenly noticed me in the background, looking all cool. She smirked as she glanced at me. Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton turned around again to look at me.
“Uh… Michael Angelo, Shakespeare Knewton, that`s so very kind of you. Sure, we can hang out you know. Like, as friends. I`m kind of busy these days you know. School work and stuff. You know.”
“Oh, Sure. Like, no problem. We can do that, Bellduh. Where art thou, Bellduh? We can hang out as like friends and stuff. If that`s what you’re into, sure. Why not? Sounds like a plan. You know, with like, me. So, I see that Edworth Cuddles guy sure has his eyes on you.”
“Does he? Gee, I haven`t noticed.”
“Yes, he is a real stalker, Bellduh. Well, I guess I will get back there, and let you study. Watch out for that Cuddles guy. Gives me the creeps you know. Like creepy guy. A real creeper that Edworth Cuddles. Well, where art thou, Bellduh? Right?”
Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton walked back to his buddies. He looked at me with a slightly dirty look, and I smiled at him. Bellduh glanced over at me. She smiled and got back to her study book. I continued to stand and stare at Bellduh. Casper wanted to end Bellduh. He thought he would be doing me a favor, but I disagreed. Bellduh pretended to socialize, but I could tell she was just standing there, glancing over at me, pretending as if she was occupied. She seemed to be studying me. I was studying her as well, and I took notes.
It was a staring contest. A battle between sexes as I stared at Bellduh, and she stared at me. Suddenly, my concentration was broken. I saw a skateboarder approaching, and it looked like he was out of control.
Styler had just learned to skateboard and has been told before not to speed while skateboarding. He`s been drinking. After a dozen beers and smoking up, he was totally wasted. He was heading towards Bellduh! Casper saw what was about to happen. He wanted Styler to hit Bellduh and end her. I needed to save Bellduh. Bellduh would know that I was a junkie if I saved her, unless she already knew.
Styler was about to hit Bellduh. I decided to see what would happen. He smashed into Bellduh as everyone watched and laughed. Bellduh fell back and looked at me. I put on my serious game face and looked at her. I was actually striking a pose as I looked at Bellduh. I hoped that I looked cool enough for her.
“That was… like, too late. Thanks, Edworth. Thanks for letting Styler crash right into me,” Bellduh said.
“I tried to save your life. I hope you’re going to make it, Bellduh.”
“Your hair, it`s so… perfect.”
“I spend hours on my hair every day.”
“Wow. You are so like into yourself. There is something about you. Are you wearing make-up?” Bellduh asked.
“Is this an interrogation? Are you a cop? I just tried to save your life. You owe me big time, Bellduh. Don`t forget who your daddy is,” I said.
“I don`t know how to thank you, Edworth.”
“You smell good, like burnt bacon,” I said.
“Weird… that`s not the first time I heard that today.”
We both got up, and everybody at school started to crowd around us.
“It`s ok people, nothing to see here,” I said.
Styler was stoned out of his mind.
“Bellduh, I`m so stoned! Are you ok? I didn`t mean it, Bellduh! Bellduh, I am stoned! Did I mention how stoned I am?” Styler said.
I walked away from the scene as Bellduh was checked out.
Act 6
Nightcrawler
Instead of playing video games all night, I discovered a new way to pass my time. I loved to stalk Bellduh as she slept. She didn’t always smell good. There were times that she smelled like burnt toast. I guess she had a lot of gas. Her room was filled with suspicious looking dolls that resembled many students at Eclipse High. I thought that was so strange. Some of them had looked like they had been tortured with needled stabbed into them. One of the dolls looked just like me, though my hair was a lot better. I didn’t like how Bellduh’s cat stared at me while I craved Bellduh. Her sweet scent led me directly to her home, though I don`t mean to sound like a pervert, but I just couldn`t help it. I would always sneak into her bedroom window. I watched Bellduh as she snored beautifully every night.
My family didn’t know about my nightly outings, and I didn’t intend on telling them where I went.
Her room was filled with that sweet rosy smell and all kinds of witchery. Bellduh was having a dream as she whispered funny things in her sleep. She mentioned something about camels and dogs. I suppose she was into that sort of stuff.
Now she began talking about me in her sleep as I watched. I brought a bag of candy sometimes so that I could enjoy the show. I wasn’t supposed to candy, but I missed it so much. Eating candy was against junkie policy. Bellduh took her hands and placed it down in her private area. She said my name repeatedly, and seemed to be rubbing herself. She also mentioned Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton’s name. I supposed that she secretly admired his poetry. She called out his name repeatedly. Bellduh was kind of a dirty girl when she fantasized. She attempted to ask me to put caramel syrup all over her body, and wanted me to lick it up. She would switch back and forth with names. I approached her bed and removed the bed sheets from Bellduh.
I love how she slept in the nude. Her muffins were very ample, and her skin was smooth. She was deep into her midnight dream, and it was as if she would never awaken. I still wondered why she called out Michael Angelo Shakespeare Knewton’s name. Bellduh was fascinating as she slept. I placed my face all over her body and inhaled her overpowering scent.
Act 7
The Ugly Truth
Enough was enough, so Bellduh followed me to the mysterious green forest. This was going to be a showdown between us. As Bellduh followed, she tripped. That was so embarrassing since everyone nearby watched. Bellduh was
so clumsy, and she could be such a dumbsky. As we walked into the forest, we made our way to a deep part where we could not be seen or heard. I planned on hurting Bellduh, and I looked forward to sucking the red honey right out of her. We were face to face, and it was about high noon, and the sun was not shining. That moment was going to be a truth or dare moment.
“Bellduh, if you aren`t as dumb as you look, you will stay away from me,” I said.
“You are the one that is obsessed with me,” Bellduh said.
“I`ve been sneaking into your bedroom at night and watching you talk to yourself.”
I wanted to tell Bellduh that I watched her play with herself while calling my name, and others. I wanted to tell her that she sounded like such a dirty birdy, but I didn’t have the heart.
“Well, like, what were you doing in my bedroom? How did you manage to sneak into my room? Do you want me to call the cops? You are such a pervert, Edworth.”
“I must admit; I have this crush on you. You smell like something perfect. You mostly smell like strawberries. You can have this sweet smell of lollipops. I can`t help it, Bellduh. I can`t seem to keep away from you.”
“Well, you are pretty hot. You sneak into my room at night. Next time you plan on breaking into my room, bring like a bulletproof vest. Don’t make me put a spell on you. I want to be notified in advance that you are dropping by. Like, you can`t just walk in whenever you please. I happen to like my privacy.”
“I was going to hurt you, but I changed my mind.”
“You’re not like other guys. What are you?”
“What do you think I am? Take a weird guess.”