‘“There’s a reason you’re involved in all this. I would have liked to do it without involving others, but I’ll be a stranger in your city, and there are certain things I will need. I can try to do this alone, but if I fail, you will likely never feel safe again. Will you help me destroy the monster who would have killed you? Who does kill others at random and at will?”
‘Seth’s young but he’s no coward, Alex. He agreed, even as he shook with anxiety and perhaps a pinch of excitement.’
‘And what happened?’
‘Nothing! Nothing happened. Seth’s nerves got the better of him. It’s not his fault. He’s mortal; I asked too much. But without his assistance I couldn’t execute my plan. He froze up and I had to bring him back.’
‘So what will you do now?’
‘I’ll ask him again. Not much else I can do. I offered to compensate him, of course. Though I find it insulting to put a price on risking his life. Still, I couldn’t expect him to do it gratis!’
Thom noticed how I panted in trying to keep up.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said remorsefully, before scooping me up effortlessly into his arms. I knotted my hands at the back of his neck.
‘What terrified Seth so much?’ I said after a few minutes of looking into those powerful dark eyes. ‘What do you need him to do?’
‘I need him to risk his life, Alex. I need to put him in mortal danger.’
‘How? – In what way?’
‘You know I can’t enter onto consecrated ground. I believe the same applies to Johan. Everybody has a conscience, even those with limited access to it. I mean to prove my theory, as a way to permanently end him. But to do it, I need to put Seth in such a place alone with a ruthless killer.’ He stopped still. ‘I don’t blame him for losing his nerve.’
‘Then what makes you think he’ll change his mind?’
He shook his head and walked on, his grip firm on me. ‘He loves his city and wants to go home. But he won’t feel safe until Johan is finished. I can do it, but I need Seth to put him in the dirt. I cannot even glide above that ground, nor climb any tree that sprouts from it. Even if I should try, much good I’d do him. I’d sink in a quicksand to purgatory.’
He fell silent in thought.
We reached the crest of Bourne Hill. From here Halton Cray would have been visible if the sun was up or the bright moon out.
‘Thom?’
‘Yes, fruitcake?’
‘You know what I’m going to say.’
‘Yes. The answer is no.’
‘You don’t have anyone else to help you. I can go anywhere Seth can. This benefits me too and you know it.’
‘Except that I’m not willing to risk your life, Alex. I lost you once already and nearly again tonight. I won’t risk–’
‘But you’d risk Seth’s?’
‘Seth’s life is already at risk and remains so while Johan is at large. You, Alex, have nothing to do with that. Risking your life is just utter selfishness on my part. You taught me all about that.’
‘But this is for us both.’
‘Alex, I do not intend to put you in danger. You’re not to carry out any perilous work. When it comes to finishing Johan, you’re not going to be present, understand?’
‘Thom, I am involved – with you! That involves me in everything else concerning you. I’m coming to New York. I’ll follow you if I have to! Perhaps Seth will agree to try again if he knows he won’t be completely alone. So tell him I’m willing to help in whatever capacity is necessary. Tell him,’ I said, even as my nerves set ablaze, ‘that he won’t be alone when it comes to burying Johan.’
Thirty-one
MANHATTAN
‘In my end is my beginning.’
– Mary I of Scotland
I sat in one corner of Seth’s hotel room at The Horseman’s Inn. It was six in the morning. The passé wallpaper and miniature plastic kettle had me wondering how anyone could stay here for more than a fortnight. Thom sat at the foot of Seth’s bed while Seth paced the room. I stared at his slim face openly, thinking back to the first time I’d seen it, all bloated and sallow. To when those mud-brown eyes, now so full of life and feeling, were vacant windows before.
His New York accent reverberated off the walls. ‘More than anything, Thom, I wanna go home. Second to that, I want to help you.’
‘I know, Seth, and I’d like to make it possible for you to return. But I can only do so much. I understand it’s a huge service to ask of you, and I completely accept you saying no. But’ – Thom leant forward, resting his forearms on his thighs – ‘the truth is, I can’t leave this to Alex alone. Look at her.’ He half-smiled, gazing over to me. ‘She’s flipping tiny. I can’t imagine that girly frame supporting much more than a shovel.’
Seth laughed, but it was the nervous kind.
‘But what she lacks in mass she makes up for in determination, amongst other things.’ He paused a moment and then added, ‘I would never send either of you in with Johan conscious.’
‘I know you wouldn’t.’ Seth sighed heavily, squeezing his temples between finger and thumb. ‘Guess I gotta go home some time. And I’m not going back with Johan still around. So the plan is?’
‘The same, Seth. I need you to play the part we primarily agreed on, if you’re up to it.’
‘That first part is easy work, in comparison,’ he responded. ‘I’ve no problem with that. It’s being alone with Johan that concerns me.’
‘Well’ – Thom looked at me, his jaw tightening – ‘Alex here will help you with the most dangerous task.’
‘She’s not afraid, huh?’
‘I’m terrified,’ I spoke up, quite honestly. ‘But more than that I am willing, very willing, to stop him at all cost.’
‘Is he after you too?’ asked Seth.
‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘Far as I know, he doesn’t know I exist.’
‘But you’re willing to risk your life?’
‘For Thom, yes I am.’
He nodded slowly and rubbed his face.
‘This is crazy, but count me in. You did save my neck after all.’
‘I appreciate it,’ answered Thom, standing to shake his hand. ‘It was – it is – too much to ask of you. I wish I had another way to stop the bastard, but I don’t.’
Seth smiled both nervously and excitedly. ‘Looks like I’m going home. If you wanna get going tonight, it’ll probably take me an hour to pack up my things here.’
In which time Thom drove me home to pick up my passport, other essentials and a package containing my errant mobile phone.
After collecting Seth, Thom tore through veils of his own fog accelerating along the M25 to London Gatwick, looking annoyed the entire time.
‘Why don’t you like driving?’ I asked, squeezing the rim of the black leather seat.
‘Frustrates me. It’s restricting.’
‘Is it?’
‘It is to me, because I can move so much faster and off-road. I don’t suppose you’d understand. You can walk at a decent pace, Alex, and run twice as fast, right? Would you choose to use a Zimmer frame to get from A to B? How long would it take you, do you think? Call that invigorating!’
‘Hmm. I never thought about it like that.’
Seth was practically green skinned when we arrived. Thom approached the American Airlines desk to get us on the next available flight to JFK. He handed over our passports and a credit card to the ticket agent, who eyed him like the dangerous dog he looked to everyone but me. I didn’t like it and so deliberately kissed him to quash her misgivings.
‘There are hundreds more people to pass before boarding our plane, Cassandra,’ said Thom, as we walked away. ‘You’ll wear your lovely lips out trying to soften them all to me.’
‘Then try smiling,’ I teased, taking his hand. ‘Are we not going through security yet?’
‘We’re going to that internet café first’ – he pointed – ‘to make some hotel reservations. Seth and I stayed in one before, on Manhattan’s Upper East Si
de.’
‘Are you okay to book that up, Thom?’ asked Seth. ‘I need to call my buddy to arrange picking up my car. And I’d like a break from you two for five minutes. You’re either holding hands or making out, or something. I’m feeling like a fifth wheel here.’
He took out his phone, smiling.
‘See you back here in five,’ joked Thom.
Once seated in the café with the hotel’s website open before us –
‘So, fruitcake, what shall we do about sleeping arrangements?’ He was bold as brass. ‘A single for Seth, of course. And you and I–’
‘–Would do well to stay focused on what this journey is about.’
‘I thought it was about us spending the rest of our natural lives together?’ He pulled me from my chair to sit on his lap.
‘On the whole, yes, but–’
‘So then let’s get a double.’ He circled my waist with his arms and began typing with a rising grin.
I put a hand over the keys. ‘We’re going to stay focused. Three singles and no distractions.’ I went to move from his lap.
‘Provoking cuckoo!’ He pulled me back and corrected the booking.
‘Thank you,’ I said, combing his hair with my fingers. His eyes stole to mine where they softened. He went to say something; something I expected would be thoughtful and intimate. But on scoping the café and the many strangers it contained, he hesitated and whispered, ‘Later.’
He could tell I was nervous at the thought of sleeping with him. Perhaps he knew why, perhaps he didn’t. If I could find the words to explain it to him, I would, when we were alone.
Seth met us outside the café.
‘Okay, we can pick my car up just as soon as we land. He’s been storing quite a few things for me. I really owe him. Hotel good?’
‘We have rooms, yes.’ Thom jeered, tweaking my ear. ‘Although I didn’t get the exact one I was after.’
I hid my smile.
On boarding our flight, the air steward directed me to the left. ‘Business class, ma’am, is this way.’
I glanced at Thom behind me, who was oblivious to anything at this moment. His mood took a turn the moment we began boarding, and he probably wouldn’t relax until we landed.
Seth took his seat across the aisle.
I looked out the window and found it easy not to think about the dark work awaiting us on the other side. New York felt unaccountably like a make-believe place, because I only ever saw it on TV, and never imagined actually going there.
‘I’ll close my blind when the ocean’s in view, Thom, if it’ll help?’
‘Thank you,’ he said solemnly, laying his hand on mine.
‘Will you still get sick?’
‘Unquestionably. But I hope not much. I’ve nothing to throw up presently.’
‘What? You throw up?’ I whispered, ‘what, blood?’
He looked at me. ‘What did you think I meant?’
‘Just that you feel nauseous, not that you get physically sick.’
‘As if nausea isn’t enough.’
Thom had ordered an inflight meal for Seth and I, but obviously nothing for himself.
‘When was the last time you ate?’ I asked him.
‘Almost three days ago.’
‘Is that okay?’
‘It’s longer than I’d like.’
‘We’re on an eight hour flight, Thom. Is – umm – Mr Hyde going to grace us with his presence?’
He turned to me and for the first time since boarding, he smiled.
‘No, Cassandra, I definitely would not have boarded this flight if I thought it was remotely possible. I will though need to go out soon after we land. I don’t want to risk aggravating my demon.’
He looked over to Seth, who was sound asleep. ‘He’s so much more relaxed this time round, thanks to you. Now why don’t you get some sleep, too?’
Surprisingly, I found that quite easy. With Thom so close, his scent so powerfully available, I slept the remainder of the flight.
It was dark and misty when we arrived. I inhaled the foreign air as we exited the airport, finding it slightly colder, crisper than back home. Seth went ahead of us to order a taxi. We were the only ones at the deserted pickup point. No queues, no quarrels for a yellow cab, as I always saw in films. Then again, it was 1 A.M. Eastern Standard Time.
The profundity of our undertaking still hadn’t gotten its claws into me, as it had both Thom and Seth. They had dread of every kind written on their faces. But I understood that they’d been here before, desperate to see it through, yet the sheer terror of it made one flee and left the other thwarted.
‘Okay,’ said Seth, holding a yellow slip of paper in his hand, ‘got our taxi coming. We’ll pick up my car, then head to The Poole Hotel. It’s a nice hotel, Alex, and the parking isn’t too expensive. My new home until after… you know.’
Thom laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Hopefully, it’ll take no more than a few days. A week at most. Seth, I need to ascertain Johan’s still in the city, so once you and my little assistant here are checked in, I’m going to ensure he’s still around.’
‘No problem. Hey, this is our cab.’
Seth ordered the driver to an address in Woodhaven, Queens.
We exited the expressway and took a turn onto Atlantic Avenue, which despite the hour was quite busy. The farther we went, the smaller the streets got, and the houses with them. Straight runs of terraced houses boasted some unmistakable American features, such as door screens and wire fenced front yards.
‘This is it.’
The taxi stopped in front of a blue mid-terraced house with a large white door. Seth pointed to a dark four-door boxy vehicle, sitting on the drive. Thom unloaded our cases from the trunk and paid the driver, while Seth went to retrieve his car keys from under a doormat.
‘We might as well go straight to Johan’s,’ I said, ‘before checking in.’
‘I’m going alone, but nice try,’ said Thom, before telling Seth to drive to the hotel first.
‘Sure,’ he replied, ‘but since I slept on the plane, I’m gonna check in and then run a few errands myself. Let me drop you on the way, Thom. I have a few things on my list to double-check with you.’
‘Whatever you need.’
Seth pulled up on the one-way street within view of the hotel’s front entrance. It was a modest, clean looking establishment, next to a café on the street corner. They shared the same shade of green on the entrance canopy, which displayed the hotel’s name in gold spidery lettering.
The completely bald desk clerk muted his TV set when Seth rang the doorbell. Thom asked for our passports again, before going forward to request our rooms.
‘Three singles on the second floor, sir,’ muttered the clerk nervously. ‘May I take your bags?’
‘That won’t be necessary, thanks.’
Seth took the room farther down the hall, while Thom installed me in the apartment next to his. He wanted to check on Johan immediately. I knew he would put up a fight, but I had to insist on going along too.
‘Absolutely not!’ he said, knocking on Seth’s open door to hurry him.
‘I’m involved, Thom. Take me along.’
‘Too dangerous.’
‘I need to see what he looks like, just in case.’
‘Seth?’ he called quietly, breaking away from me a moment, but gripping my hand meanwhile and rubbing his thumb along my fingers. ‘Seth, are we going?’
‘Yeah,’ he shouted back. ‘Two ticks.’
‘Alex, don’t, please. I’m thinking of your safety.’
‘What if Johan has been watching, or had you followed, and comes knocking at my door the minute you leave?’
‘Don’t answer your door to anyone.’
‘What if he accosts me in the street? I won’t know what he looks like.’
‘Don’t leave the room!’ he insisted, ushering me back to it now.
‘I’ll follow you,’ I threatened.
‘At your peril!’ He sm
irked, backing me in the doorway. ‘Get in there and stay in there, or I’ll cancel my own room and share your bed tonight. I mean it.’
‘Thom?’ I whispered, angling my head. ‘Seth isn’t going to tell me to wait on the picket line while he carries the danger alone. And it wouldn’t be fair if he did. It’s not going to happen any other way than how we’ve discussed.’
He said nothing, just stared into my eyes, as if trying to unlock some great mystery.
‘I know that’s what you’re hoping,’ I said. ‘You think I don’t know your designing mind. I know you only let me come to keep Seth happy, and perhaps me too. But I am going to help Seth all the way, so you’d better start accepting it and preparing me for it.’
Thom sat in the backseat, in shadow, so that I could sit up front next to Seth. Dark-bricked apartment blocks lined the tree-flanked streets, their fire escapes zigzagging up each of them. Presently, beneath a cloudless black sky, we were the only car on this stretch of road, which filled with Thom’s mist.
‘How does it work with the numbered streets here?’ I asked Seth, as he turned off Third Avenue onto East 97th Street. ‘You’ve got small numbered avenues next to large numbered streets, with that one called “Lexington” between them.’
‘It’s only the most famous grid.’ Seth grinned proudly, sticking some gum in his mouth. ‘Basically you don’t need a map to get around. If you’re on Third and you want to get to Fifth, just head west, which counts up. If you want to get from 92nd to 96th, you go four blocks north and boom! You’re there! You count your way to where you wanna go. It’s impossible to get lost, unless you suck at basic math.’
‘Oh, I see. Useful.’
‘Yeah, it’s cool,’ Seth continued, as he circled the block. ‘They should really consider redesigning London in the same way.’ – I heard Thom snigger. – ‘Your city’s so old and arbitrary. Everything is named after some guy who died centuries ago. No offence, Thom!’
I chuckled now.
‘But listen, Alex,’ he said in earnest, ‘if you do go wandering around here on your own, don’t go further than 100th. If you notice the streets are going over that, turn back. NYC is a dangerous place if you’re in the wrong part of it.’
Halton Cray (Shadows of the World Book 1) Page 34