by Jane Hinchey
Out the back a huge bonfire raged, the flames dancing at least six feet into the air. Standing around the fire, beers in hand, were the male members of Carter’s pack. I knew from experience that all the women would be inside, having commandeered the kitchen and churning out enough food to feed an army. I knew which group I belonged to. Veering over to the cooler near the back step, I grabbed myself a beer and joined the boys.
"Hey, Raven. How ya doing?" I was greeted by hugs and slaps on the back that nearly face-planted me into the ground. I grinned at them.
"Aww, you guys." I'd known Carter's pack almost as long as I'd known him—and they were forever taking me under their wing. Their closeness and camaraderie used to make me yearn to join their pack too, to wish I were a wolf, but then I'd see the segregation of male and female, the submissive ways of the women, and quickly decided a pack was not the place for me. I'd fit in for all of ten minutes.
"Happy birthday, Carter." I threw my arms around his neck and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. His arms wrapped around me and he held me tight, dropping a kiss on the top of my head.
"Thanks, trouble."
"Your present is in my car."
"What did ya get him? A blow-up doll?" one of the guys called out.
"Better. A subscription to that rudie magazine he likes so much." Hoots of laughter echoed around us and Carter’s cheeks blushed a becoming shade of red.
"You didn't!"
"No, you idiot. I got you that Scotch you like, the really old stuff. Since you're old now too."
"Raven! That Scotch is like one hundred and fifty bucks a bottle."
"Which is why it's in my car. To stop these idiots from drinking it. Remind me to give it to you before I leave."
He wrapped me in another hug, squeezing tight. Guess he really likes that Scotch.
"Oh. Sorry. I don't mean to interrupt...but..." a soft feminine voice came from behind me. Carter let go and I moved to his side. The voice belonged to a petite blonde woman who was holding a tray of burgers.
"Thought you might be hungry," she continued, stepping closer, her blue eyes trained on Carter. Then she glanced at me and I swear to God her gaze iced over. Okaaaay.
"Thanks, Storm, you're the best." Carter smiled at her and took a burger from the tray. "Storm, have you met Raven? Raven's my partner at the SIA. Raven, this is Storm, a member of our pack."
"Nice to meet you. I haven't seen you around before." I smiled at her, trying to put her at ease.
"I haven't seen you here before either." Her eyes had defrosted enough to shoot daggers at me. Okay, jealous little wolf, I'm not a threat. But by the way her eyes were devouring Carter, she definitely thought I was. And Carter, the big buffoon, had no idea.
"Here, let me take that from you and you guys catch up." I took the tray from her hands before she could protest and moved around to the other side of the bonfire. The guys swarmed around me, snatching up the food, the tray empty in seconds. I stood and scrutinized Storm and Carter through the dancing flames, his dark head bent down to her blonde one, her hand resting on his arm as they talked. I didn't like the twinge of jealousy that burned in my stomach. Nor did I like the fact that I couldn't keep my eyes off him.
Dressed in blue jeans and a thick brown jacket, he looked every inch the rugged mountain man and again, he took my breath away. I watched as Carter's Alpha, Travis, headed over to him, shook his hand and wrapped him in a bear hug.
"Good to see you, man, happy birthday!"
"Good to see you too. Thanks for coming." Carter accepted the beer Travis held out, taking a long swig before leveling his gaze on me. I wish I could blame the sudden flush of heat in my cheeks on the bonfire, but I'd only be lying to myself. This guy affected me in ways I'd never experienced before. He was like a magnet and I was inexplicably drawn to him. Unfortunately, it appeared the same was true for Storm, for she crowded and fussed, offering food, hugs, kisses. He accepted her attention with good grace, returning hugs, dropping kisses on her cheek or the top of her head, accepting food and complimenting the women on their hard work. I viewed it all through the blaze of the fire. As he made his way around the fire to where the guys were standing, I'd inch my way around to the opposite side, keeping the flames between us.
"He's a handsome man, isn't he?" April Harper, the Alpha's wife appeared by my side, watching the men through the fire.
"He sure is," I agreed.
"You do know that he can't be with you though, right?"
"What do you mean?" I didn't like the way April was regarding me. Was that pity in her eyes?
"Sweetheart, you know the ways of the pack. Alex will settle down with his mate, a wolf. I think Storm is the perfect match for him."
"He's my best friend, not my boyfriend!" I forced a laugh, turned from the fire to find another beer, uncomfortable with the conversation. The women of his pack felt the need to warn me off Carter. Always had. In the past, I'd laughed it off, not letting it bother me. But tonight, tonight it bothered me because April was right. Something had changed between Carter and me. Maybe April had known it all along, maybe not. Popping the top off another beer, I took a long swallow, wishing the beer were something stronger. I needed something to take the edge off these damn emotions.
"You're avoiding me."
The beer went down the wrong way and I coughed, choking. Carter's large hand thumped my back as my eyes streamed. Great. Not embarrassing at all.
"Better?" He leaned forward, peering into my face, one hand pushing the hair that had escaped my braid out of my face. God, I couldn't think when he was this close to me. It was like I simply couldn't function—my thought processes stopped, my hormones raged, I felt totally out of control and it terrified me.
"I'm fine." I cleared my throat and moved back a fraction. His fingers trailed through my hair before his arm dropped back to his side.
"I get the feeling the women folk are giving you a hard time." His lip turned up in a wry smile. I shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes.
"You're nervous of me." He frowned, his face full of concern.
"You make me feel things I've never felt before," I admitted.
"Ah." He nodded solemnly. "And it scares you?" He didn't seem surprised by my admission.
"It does. And confuses me."
"How so?"
"Because up until recently, we've been friends. Just friends. And now everything is changing."
"You don't need to fear change."
Possibly. But it felt somehow different. Deeper. And given that I didn't know my past, my own history, it rattled me. I liked the familiar, I liked knowing where I stood, my place in the world, where I felt safe. This growing...whatever it was between Carter and me had me off balance and unnerved.
"I won't hurt you," he promised.
"You think that's why I'm afraid? That you'll hurt me?"
"Isn't it?"
"There's something you need to know about me."
"Oh? I've known you most of my adult life, Raven. I doubt there is anything about you that I don't already know."
"I don't do relationships. Yes, I admit, I'm crazily attracted to you, that I'd jump your bones in a heartbeat with no second thought. But then that would be it. It would be over. And so would our friendship. And you mean too much to me to allow that to happen." At my words his heat flared, I could feel it wrap around me, encompass me. How did he do that?
"Just so you know..." He leaned in close, his mouth next to my ear, his hot breath bathing my skin. "I don't do one-night stands."
I turned my head slightly so my cheek touched his. We stood there, our heads close together, skin brushing skin, carnal thoughts dancing through my mind. It was torture and bliss.
"When you jump my bones and don't worry baby, it's going to happen, and soon, one night isn't going to be enough for you." His words were a promise and I trembled. His hand came up to cup my cheek and tilt my head just that little bit further, our mouths meeting. He tasted like I remembered. Hot and sweet. This time his ki
ss was slow and gentle, not the hurried, urgent mating of our mouths in the past. This was the second time he kissed me and each time was different, yet still blistering hot.
We broke apart to cheers and jeers from the pack. Christ, I'd forgotten we had an audience. Carter's hand was still on my neck as I turned my head and looked toward the bonfire. Storm was there, watching. I waited for her reaction, figured she'd be angry I was making out with Carter. I was right. She whirled from the fire, storming inside with April hot on her heels, throwing us an angry glare as she swept past.
"It will be okay," Carter muttered, but the frown pulling his brows together told me he didn't believe it any more than I did.
13
Turned out the mobile phone we'd found was a burner, just like we'd suspected. No stored contacts, and only one text message, a bunch of numbers which turned out to be longitude and latitude coordinates to Wolf Hill.
The four days we'd been on swing shift the day shift Enforcers had scoured Wolf Hill, turning up nothing. I sat at my desk, tapping my fingers. I needed to bring Nate Wilder in. This was somehow linked to him. I could have sworn the human hunts and the murders were linked, but now I was starting to doubt myself. Was it merely a coincidence after all and I'd been wasting precious time? Time that was running out for the next potential victim?
"Hey." Carter dropped down into his chair, his brown eyes meeting mine.
"Hey." We hadn't spoken since the kiss at his party. Oh, there had been plenty of missed calls and voice mails. All of which I'd deleted without listening to. Immature perhaps, but I'm big on avoidance when it comes to emotional stuff, and the glimpse I'd just caught of Carter's face showed he was full to the brim with emotion. Oh boy.
Raising my coffee to my lips, I took a hefty sip. There was a new Pixie working at the Witches Brew and she'd introduced a range of coffees filled with elemental spices. Today my coffee was laced with focus. Yesterday I'd had clarity.
"What happened to your hand?" he asked. I glanced at the bandage wrapped around the palm of my left hand.
I shrugged. "Cut myself on some glass. Needed stitches."
"Is that why you didn't answer my calls? Because you were at medical?"
Partly. Carter and I had always been truthful with each other, if not a little blunt, and I couldn't see a reason to change now.
"After your party, I went home and drank a bottle of vodka—"
"On your own?" he cut in.
"On my own. Naturally, that made me not only hungry but also extremely inebriated. While making myself a snack, my glass slipped. It broke in my hand."
"Were you trying to make cheese toasties one handed again? You know when you're drinking alone that no one is going to steal or spike your drink, right? You can actually put it down."
"And this is why I didn't bother calling you. The lectures."
"Continue." He waved his hand in a please proceed gesture.
"I got a cab to medical, where they stitched me up. Came home, went to bed, woke up with the most god-awful hangover. Spent all day on the sofa regretting the vodka, then thought I'd check out Crimson Mist, see if Wilder had turned up."
"You went to Crimson Mist? Alone? Without backup?"
I raised my eyebrows, nailing him with a cold hard stare. See? Lectures.
"I went as a patron. To have fun." And to case the joint. Not only for Nate but for anything, any clue that would give me a lead in finding the murderer.
"And did you? Have fun?"
"I did." Not entirely true. I'd been curious about the pheromones they pumped into the air, curious to see if there was a hot, sexy man who could take the edge off the tension, that, thanks to Carter, had not left me since our own encounter in the club. And although I'd stayed until dawn, no such thing occurred. Plenty of hot, sexy-looking guys, but none of them caught my interest.
"So after spending all night at the club, I had yet another hangover to sleep off. Yesterday I spent most of the day at the Witches Brew."
"Where was your phone in all of this?" The suspicious frown he leveled at me made me grin. He knew me well.
"I found my phone in the fridge," I admitted.
"So you weren't avoiding my calls then?"
"To be honest, I was. But when I lost my phone, well, let's just say I didn't search very hard."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why avoid my calls in the first place?"
"Because you want to talk about the friggin kiss you planted on me in front of your pack. You want to talk about us!"
"Damn straight I do." I felt his energy pulse over me and reacted. In panic. Pushing to my feet I eyeballed him over his monitor.
"This is going to ruin us, Carter. You're my best friend. I can't risk it. I can't."
"I want to have a relationship with you," he said bluntly, rising to his feet.
"I know you do. I don't." Couldn't. Because I knew what would happen. What always happened. We'd enjoy a couple of days rolling around in bed, then the expectations would start, the demands. Dates. Time. And I'd pull away like I always do, and he'd get all pissy and storm out, calling me an ice queen. There'd be some nasty texts, and then nothing. Game over. I couldn't risk that with Carter. He meant the world to me and I couldn't bear to lose him.
He sighed, running a hand over his face. "No, you don't, and I'm sorry. The whole pack thing got complicated after the other night; otherwise, I would have been camping on your doorstep until you let me in. They've kept me tied up with pack business ever since my party. And you can't blame it all on me. You hot-footed it out of there pretty fast."
"Because what you did—kissing me in front of your pack—was stupid. You put me in a position, you manipulated me. And I didn't, don't, appreciate it."
"I'm sorry."
"I need some air." I was pulling on my jacket and frowned when Carter did the same. "Alone." My anger surged, and I resented the power he had over my emotions. So much for my focused coffee!
"No can do. We need to get up to Wolf Hill and continue the search. There's a cave up there somewhere. We need to find it. We've got nothing else to go on, might as well chase down that lead."
He had a point, and that irritated me even more. Stalking to the elevator, I punched the button, leaving him to sign us out and grab the keys to the SUV. Our fellow Enforcers hadn't been able to locate the cave. What made Carter think we'd have any luck? What did he know that the others didn't?
I headed to the driver's side, frowning at Carter. "Keys?"
"No way, woman. I've seen you drive when you're angry. You're not getting behind the wheel."
"Are you serious?"
"Sit back and enjoy the ride, Spitfire."
"Fine." Sliding into the passenger seat, I snapped my seatbelt into place, ignoring him. He started the car and smoothly maneuvered out into the street. The close proximity in the car made me hyper aware of him, his energy, his aura scraped over my skin like sandpaper.
"For what it's worth—" he began.
"Don't!" I cut him off. "I don't want to talk. You're going to make it worse."
"I missed you." His words were gruff. Heartfelt. I turned my face away, staring blindly out the window, seeing nothing.
"We usually hang out a time or two between shifts. To not see you for four days was torture."
"Pft."
He blew out a sigh. "I stuffed up, okay? I shouldn't have kissed you—" I swiveled to look at him. If he was going to say he regretted kissing me I was going to punch him in the face. My fingers clenched in readiness. "—in front of the pack. That was just stupid." He shook his head, thumping the steering wheel in apparent frustration. My fingers relaxed.
"Why did you?" My voice came out softer than I expected.
"I couldn't not kiss you. Your scent was all around me. All I could think about was you, the taste of you, your lips on mine, the rush of my blood when your tongue strokes mine, the little noises of pleasure that you make. That's all I could think of. I wasn't trying to manipulate you or
trick you. I just had to kiss you."
My cheeks heated. This was dangerous. My anger had dissolved at his words, to be replaced by a tingling in my lady parts—what he described was what I wanted too. Badly. But the aftermath was too high a price to pay. I tamped down the lust, shoved it into a little box deep inside, and turned the key, determined to keep it buried and locked away, forever.
The rest of the drive was in silence. I sensed each time he glanced my way, the warmth of his gaze almost a physical caress. I didn't know what he expected me to say. That it was okay? That his kisses unraveled me?
"Why don't you just say it?"
"What?" I gasped, swiveling my head so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. Had he read my mind?
"Whatever is playing through that pretty little head of yours, just say it." His fingers tightened on the steering wheel for the briefest of moments before relaxing.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
I shrugged. Because it was akin to opening Pandora's Box? Or a can of worms? Because I didn't want things to change, yet they were changing anyway and I was being dragged, kicking and screaming, onto a new path. A path I was convinced would be our undoing?
"Your friendship means more to me than anything else in the entire world," I began, then stopped, unsure of how to proceed.
"You think you'll lose it." His head nodded. "That we won't be able to be friends anymore."
"Because you want too much of me, Carter. You want it all, and you, of all people, should know that I don't have it to give. You'll be disappointed. And then it'll be too late, we won't be able to go back from lovers to friends. It never works that way."
"You have everything I need," he muttered, pulling into the parking lot and killing the engine. Neither of us moved.
"Let's just be real for a second, okay? What if, and this is a massive what if, what if we did hook up? Had a relationship. Fell in love. What then? Your pack would not accept me. Not as your mate. Never. I'm not a wolf. I bet they were busting your balls over that kiss. Am I, or am I not, correct?"
His hesitation, the subtle hint of color on his cheeks told me I was right.