by Diane Adams
“You made it.” Eyes watering and still coughing, Jared’s shoulders slumped in relief as the fireman steadied him before guiding him to the ambulance.
The fireman met his eyes. “We made it, but you did all the hard work, not that I’m condoning going back into a burning building.”
Looking chagrined, Jared shrugged. “Yeah, I should have waited. Going in there was stupid.”
They came to a stop behind the back of the open ambulance. The fireman rested a gloved hand on Jared’s arm. “It’s my job to tell you what you did was irresponsible and dangerous, but if you hadn’t done it, she would be dead.” He nodded inside the vehicle. Jared turned and saw the EMT sliding an oxygen mask over the little girl’s face. “The wall went just as we walked up, the floor collapsed as soon as I pulled you out. You saved her life.” He grinned at Jared. “Don’t do it again.” He turned and headed back toward the blaze before he could answer.
Alex took the fireman’s place at Jared’s side. “You scared the fuck out of me.” He threw himself into Jared’s arms, fingers fisting in his shirt.
Wrapping him in a hard hug, Jared buried his face in Alex’s curls. “Yeah, scared myself. I’m sorry.” Alex’s arms tightened around him, and Jared coughed.
A second EMT approached and laid his hand on Jared’s back. “You better let us check you out. Smoke damage isn’t something to play around with.” He turned to Jared as Alex moved a few steps out of the way. “We’ll take you to the hospital together, there’s no point waiting on another vehicle.”
“Yeah, sure,” Jared was glad to have a chance to fill them in about what happened and relieved he wouldn’t have to argue about leaving the little girl to ride alone. Turning his attention back to Alex, he asked “Can you bring her brother?”
Alex nodded. “Yeah, sure. He’s still in the truck. Damn he’s skinny, Jared. What were they doing in there? It’s not even a house, just some abandoned building.”
“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out and do what we can to help.” Jared moved closer and tipped Alex’s head back with gentle fingers under his chin. He pressed a kiss to his cold lips. “I’ll see you at the hospital.” Alex clutched him tightly, obviously unwilling to let go, but when the EMT cleared his throat, he broke the kiss and stepped away.
“See you there.”
Stepping up
Alex leaned against the jamb of the hospital room door and watched Jared. He sat in a chair that looked extremely uncomfortable beside the crib of the baby he’d saved. A cap of dark curls peeked over the edge of the blanket covering her. She had a fair prognosis. Her location so close to the floor of the room had protected her from more than minimal smoke inhalation. A slim tube under her tiny nose provided an appropriate oxygen mixture for her. Her overall physical condition was of more concern than the smoke inhalation. She was seriously malnourished and so dirty the doctor suspected the children had been abandoned.
They couldn’t know for sure though, because the only one who could have told them had disappeared. The night before blended into a nightmarish blur for Alex, but he remembered leaving Jared with the ambulance and going to back to the truck and finding it empty. The kid had taken Jared’s coat and all the extra clothes Jared kept in a box behind the front seat, as well as his stash of snacks. Alex had helped the police look for him most of the night, but the street where the fire occurred was lined with empty buildings. So many places to hide made the probability of discovering where he’d gone close to impossible. Alex sighed. Worry and exhaustion weighed him down.
“Are you coming in?” Jared didn’t look away from the small form in the crib. Alex watched as he reached through and stroked a tiny fist. The fingers opened and closed around his finger. Alex smiled. Even unconscious, the baby knew he was a good place to go for comfort.
Alex walked up behind him and rested his forearms on the strong shoulders that had so often borne his troubles. “I was just thinking.”
Jared’s free hand closed around his arm and squeezed gently, the pressure reassuring. “It’s not your fault about her brother.”
“I know.” He nuzzled Jared’s hair and let his familiar scent soothe jangled nerves. “He was so skinny. His skin was tight across his cheekbones, and his collarbones were sharp under his skin, his eyes. An adult shouldn’t look that defeated, much less a child.” Alex felt the threat of tears burn the back of his throat, and he swallowed against the desire to cry. Jared must have interpreted the tension in the muscle under his hand. He tugged Alex around into his lap.
“It’s okay to cry.” Jared didn’t try to meet his gaze, simply held him. His attention remained fixed on the sleeping babe.
Alex concentrated on breathing deep, even breaths. “I don’t even know him.”
“That’s true.” Jared hugged him with the arm around his waist, offering silent support.
Alex shuddered with his effort at control. He couldn’t forget the hopeless look on the boy’s face or his bleak, empty eyes. “He doesn’t have any shoes.” Alex hid his face in Jared’s shoulder. He didn’t sob, but Jared’s shirt didn’t stay completely dry.
After he regained control, Alex was content to remain wrapped in Jared’s arms for a little while. Dealing with children who’d apparently been abandoned was bad enough, but Alex couldn’t pretend encountering the fire hadn’t affected him. Almost two years and he still had nightmares and flashbacks about their house fire. When Jared had insisted on going into the burning building, Alex had barely maintained enough control to function, but caring for the distraught boy had distracted him. Especially after discovering the severity of his condition.
It was little wonder his emotions were all over the place. He wanted to go home and curl up with Jared, in either their recliner or their bed. He wasn’t picky. He wanted to be petted and hear impossible promises about how things were going to be all right. Not that Jared ignored him. His hand touched Alex’s back and occasionally threaded through his hair, but only a fraction of his attention was focused on Alex. The rest was fixed on the baby sleeping in the crib. He was alert to the smallest movement, on watch for any sign of distress.
With a sigh, Alex gave up his not-so-subtle hint to be coddled and vacated Jared’s lap in favor of a chair. It was only a matter of time before someone came in anyhow. Jared let him go with a final squeeze around his waist. Alex sat in silence for a while and watched the barest shift of the blanket as she breathed.
“Could they tell how old she is?”
Jared leaned forward and drew a line down the little arm that’d escaped the blanket. “At first they thought she was around three months, but because of how she looks or something they say it’s probably closer to five months.” Jared faced Alex but didn’t stop caressing the baby. “She can hold her head up, but the nurse said she wouldn’t engage any of them. She’s very listless and uninterested.”
Alex’s brow furrowed as he absorbed the information. “Is that because of the smoke?”
“No.” Jared shook his head, and his jaw tensed. “She’s so malnourished she’s way behind where she should be. The doctor told me that if we hadn’t found her, she wouldn’t have lived much longer. She’s got to stay in the hospital until they are sure about her condition.”
Alex stood and walked over to the crib. He looked down at the sleeping child. The IV in her scalp and the oxygen tube made her look extremely fragile. His heart ached looking at her, and he wondered where her brother had gone. He couldn’t imagine how someone could have done this to his or her children.
“Alex, I want…” Jared looked indecisive and bit his lip as if he couldn’t decide if he should say what he wanted.
As if anyone who knew Jared at all wouldn’t know exactly what he had in his heart at that moment. “You want to take her home.”
Jared rose from his chair to stand beside Alex. He twined their fingers and waited in silence until Alex met his gaze. “We registered to become foster parents for a reason.”
Alex tried to argue down the f
ear that curled in his belly at the thought of taking such a sick child home, but he couldn’t work past it. “Jared, we don’t know anything about her.”
Color rose in Alex’s cheeks as Jared studied him with a thoughtful look. “We know she’s sick, and she doesn’t have anyone who gives a damn about her. We know her brother loves her and that she needs us.” Jared squeezed his hand. “She needs us both.”
Alex knew if he didn’t agree Jared would let the matter drop. There would be a rough patch, but they’d get through it. Alex heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. They’d make it if he could forgive himself. Alex doubted he’d be able to live with himself if he forced such a decision. He rubbed the back of his neck.
“We can afford it.” Alex knew that Jared had already signed the paperwork assuming financial responsibility, hence the private room. “You should know the police think her brother started the fire.”
Jared looked surprised. “That’s weird considering how panicked the kid seemed.”
“Yeah, they said it was probably an accident. They think he was trying to stay warm.” Alex’s voice broke a little. Jared let go of his hand and pulled him under his arm, tucking him close.
“Poor kids. We’ll find him. He needs a home too. Maybe he needs it even more. Babies are a lot easier to love than prickly teens.”
Alex sent him a teasing look. “You never complained.” Jared’s grin set Alex’s heart thudding hard against his ribs.
“You weren’t very prickly.” Jared pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and settled him firmly against his side. They stood quietly together and watched their baby sleep.
* * * * *
“We can’t leave her here alone to go shopping. You go.” Jared frowned at Alex from where he sat holding Sissy close as he fed her the last bit of her bottle. The doctor had taken her off oxygen that morning and seemed pleased with her progress. The IV remained in her scalp, but the baby was improving rapidly with regular feedings. Jared felt a surge of love and pride at how she attacked the bottle, sucking as if she was determined to get out of the hospital as soon as possible.
“Ready to go home with your dads?” Jared brushed a finger against her ear. Alex had spent the last two days fighting his way through red tape and getting them assigned as foster parents for the little girl while Child Services searched for relatives or some evidence of her identity. The fact they’d already registered and been approved as foster parents had streamlined the ordeal, as had the hospital contact who was firmly in their corner.
When Sissy was released, she had a home. One Jared and Alex were willing to make permanent if her family wasn’t found. Jared met Alex’s eyes and recognized the stubborn glint in them all too well. His brow furrowed as he tried to devise an argument before the pout came into play and all was lost.
The door opened, distracting Jared from their argument, and he turned to see Stevie slip inside. She closed the door softly behind her.
“Hello!” She grinned and hurried over to Jared’s side. “Oh my God, she’s beautiful.”
Jared gave her a smile and turned his attention back to the nursing infant. Sissy let the nipple slip out of her mouth and nuzzled sleepily against Jared’s arm. He lifted her to his shoulder despite her halfhearted protest.
“Oh no, I let you get away with that last time! I remember where not burping got us,” Jared admonished the tiny form in his arms, his voice gentle. He began to rub circles on her back, interspersed with an occasional pat.
“She doesn’t like burping.” Alex grinned at Stevie.
“They mostly don’t,” she agreed. “I know Kels had a screaming fit about it, but God help you if they don’t.”
“No kidding. Who knew something so little could make so much noise?” Alex laughed and stepped closer to Jared. He rubbed the back of his fingers against the baby’s cheek. Jared let them talk, his attention focused on the baby, and at last she gave a resounding burp.
“What was in that bottle? Beer?” Alex teased.
Jared chuckled. “You’d think so the way she burps and passes out.” Sissy proved his words by snuggling her face into the curve of his neck with a little snort. He got to his feet so he could put her to bed. He assumed Stevie was there to babysit, Alex’s unsubtle method of getting his way.
Stevie stepped forward. “Can I hold her?” She sounded eager, and Jared winced. He thought Clark might shoot him on the spot if she got the baby bug again.
Alex stepped forward and laid his hand on Stevie’s outstretched arm. “If anyone but Jared holds her, she’ll wake up and start crying. She won’t stop until she smells him or whatever it is she does when she pokes her face into him.”
Stevie looked disappointed but didn’t make any protest when Jared settled Sissy in the crib and made sure the IV lines were clear of any entanglement. “They get like that sometimes.” Jared saw the way her assurance eased some of the stress in Alex’s face. He’d be glad when they could get home and bond properly as a family. He had no doubt that Sissy would wind up loving Alex every bit as much as she had become attached to Jared.
He looked between Stevie and Alex, who were doing their best to appear innocent. “Babysitter?” His lips quirked upward into a smile. He didn’t want to leave the baby but knew Alex was eager to get the things they needed for her to use at home.
“That’s me.” Stevie cast a longing look at the small form in the crib. “I hoped for cuddle time, but don’t worry. I won’t pick her up until you get back, but she has to start getting used to Aunt Stevie soon.”
Jared pulled Stevie into a hug. “Thank you. She sleeps for quite a while after she eats, almost until it’s time to eat again. She’s doing better but hasn’t gotten back her strength for playing yet.” He looked at Alex standing near the door with his coat on and Jared’s new one in hand, ready to leave.
“Babies R Us is having a sale.”
Jared stopped and studied Alex’s face, trying to discern if he was kidding. “Babies R Us? That’s a real place?”
Stevie giggled and gave him a shove in his back. “Welcome to the wonderful world of being a daddy. Now go. You guys have a lot to do. Do you know what you need?”
“I have no idea. Diapers? Bottles?” Jared took his coat from Alex and pulled it on with a disgruntled look.
Alex pulled a crumpled paper from his pocket. “I have a list! One of the nurses helped me make it.”
“Thank God.” Jared turned Alex toward the door and ushered him out. “We’ll be back,” he called over his shoulder to Stevie.
“Alex.” Jared stared at the huge display of comforters and baby blankets. He had no idea how to decide what ones to buy. “I think we need to stick to buying what we need right now.”
Alex bumped shoulders with him and looked at his list. “Do you think we won’t get to keep her?” He sounded disappointed, and Jared wrapped his arm around Alex’s shoulders.
“We have to remember that nothing’s sure right now. She’s going to be in our room at first regardless. We can work on designing a nursery once we know more, and when she’s well enough we can all go shopping together.” Jared imagined carrying a happy interactive Sissy in a front pack while they shopped to furnish her room.
Alex looked thoughtful and nodded. “That’s a good idea and takes some of the pressure off today.”
“That is the idea.” Jared pointed to a thick pink blanket with fat satin trim around the edges. “That one.” He grabbed it and tossed it into the cart. Alex sent a matching yellow one after it.
“She’ll need more than one. And we still have to pick out a crib. What about sheets?”
They spent the next couple hours shopping for everything they could think of a baby might need and more than a few things they just wanted. At checkout Jared kept out several sleepers.
“I’ll dress her when I get back. These look a lot more comfortable than the ones at the hospital.” He caressed the soft material before setting them on the conveyor belt with the pink blanket and the soft teddy bear Al
ex picked out for her. “You can give it to her when you come back tonight. Are you sure you’re okay getting all this into the house without me?”
Alex straightened the big red ribbon on the bear and watched as the cashier swiftly ran their mountain of items over the scanner. “Clark and his boys are going to meet me at the house. I’ll get the twins to put the bed together. There’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ve got this.”
Jared kissed his temple and pulled out his wallet. “Would you bag these last few things separately?” he asked the cashier, who was busy trying to pretend she hadn’t been staring. Jared couldn’t help teasing a little in the face of her obvious curiosity. “We’re having a baby.” He hugged Alex close with an arm around his waist and handed over the credit card with his free hand.
Her eyes flickered between them, but she didn’t comment. “Do you want to give a donation to Toys for Tots?”
“Ten dollars.” Alex spoke up.
Jared looked at him in surprise. “Ten dollars?”
Alex shrugged his expression embarrassed. “I always give ten dollars.”
Jared rubbed his chin and contemplated Alex. “So every time a cashier asks if you want to give to Toys for Tots, you say…”
“Ten dollars.”
“How much do you think we’ve given?” Jared didn’t laugh, but keeping from it was difficult. Trust Alex to be unable to resist helping kids get toys.
“I don’t know. We’ve probably supplied Legos to every kid in some small country.” And Jared grinned at his confession.
“So, ten?” The girl had obviously misread their interaction as a disagreement.
Jared shook his head. “No. This is a tradition I can get behind. Ten for him and ten for me.”
Alex’s kiss on his cheek and whispered “I love you” was well worth the cost of supplying the world with toys.
The girl studied her keyboard. “I can only enter one amount.”