“Thank you. I think.” Hayden laughed. “Dixie, do you know why I’m here?”
His skin was perfect and a sexy light stubble covered his cheeks. His lips were full, but it was his eyes--those green eyes caught me and held me immobile. My body involuntarily began to lean into his. Wait. Did he ask me a question? What was wrong with me? My brain wasn’t working right.
“Did you ask me something?” I choked out as I slid myself a little farther away until the wall halted my progress. It was strange to be with him in my father’s home.
He threw his head back and laughed. Help me Satan, he was even more beautiful when he laughed. “I asked if you knew why I was here.”
“Because you’re in trouble?” I guessed and hoped I was wrong. My dad could be heartless when it came to punishing his people for digressions.
“Yes,” he whispered. My eyes shot to his in fear. “But not the kind you’re thinking of,” he assured me. “I’m in a good kind of trouble.”
He moved closer and ran his hand through his sandy blond hair.
I was jealous of his hand. Holy Hell, I wanted my hands in his hair and on his face and on his chest and arms. What was it about him? I was losing myself—couldn’t think straight. Didn’t want to. Hayden stopped inches from me and I felt my body tighten in anticipation. Of what? I had no idea. This felt different from our date. He seemed more serious, more of a man and less of a boy. I was out of my league.
I stared at him and considered trying all the things I’d been too much of a goody two-shoes to enjoy. My dad would be so proud.
Hayden moved closer. I closed my eyes. I knew they had turned blood red with desire for him. Fervently I hoped if I couldn’t see him, the need to knock him to the ground and strip him would disappear. Maybe if I couldn’t see his beautiful lips and eyes my body could relax.
Nope.
Damn, he smelled good—like soap and wind and summer rain. I opened my eyes to find the object of my desire so close to my lips I got dizzy. His eyes were intense, having changed from green to red. My breathing became erratic. His eyes flashed in delight and the corner of his mouth lifted into the sexiest smirk I’d ever seen. I was a goner.
I had to do or say something fast or I was going to embarrass myself by jumping him and professing my undying love. “Why are you here?” I put my hands on his chest to put at least an imaginary semblance of distance between us. Big mistake. He moaned and his body contracted under my fingertips. A jolt of electricity shot through me at the contact. Quickly I removed my hands.
Hayden took a huge breath. “I’m here because I needed to see you.” He was so close I could taste his breath and it tasted good. I knew how perfect his lips felt on mine and it was Hell not to feel it again. “I was going to go slow with you and do every single thing right with you.”
A shiver of delight ripped through my body and landed low in my stomach at his words. “Why?”
“I’m older than you think I am, Dixie,” he said.
He was being a little too vague.
“How old?”
“Old enough.” He grinned and my tummy flipped. “Old enough to know exactly what I want.” He looked at me pointedly.
“You want me?” I asked shakily.
“I more than want you, Dixie. You’re my soul mate,” he whispered into my mouth.
Now I was definitely going to pass out. Demons rarely mated for life. Mostly because we have really loooong lives and are simply too untrustworthy and promiscuous. Many of my sisters have been mated more times than I could count. Of course it wasn't called marriage in Hell. Marriage was a sacrament sanctioned by Uncle God. In Hell we called it Bonding and Dissolving. Every so often Demons found their soul mate, but that was rare and most think it to be myth.
“I’m not ready. . .” I was getting panicked.
“I know,” Hayden said, placing his hands on either side of my face which forced me to look at him. “I know,” he repeated. His frustration and need pierced me and unsettled me. “I need you to know how I feel. I’ve been waiting for you for so long and now you’re leaving. I didn’t expect you to be deported so soon. I thought I had more time.”
He stared at me with a desire and intensity that made me feel more alive than I’d ever felt. “What do you want from me?” I asked. My voice sounded small and so far away to my ears.
“Everything. I want everything from you. . .but I’ll wait.” His hand caressed my face and I leaned into his touch. “Dixie?”
“Yes?” I raised my eyes to his.
“I need you to promise me something.”
In this moment I would have promised him anything he asked of me. I nodded.
“When you are ready, it will be me. No one else. It has to be me. Do you promise?”
I stared into the eyes of the beautiful Demon who wanted me to be his, but before I would promise he needed to up the ante even higher. “Will you love me?” I asked.
His eyes turned a deeper red than I thought possible. “Oh yes, beautiful girl, more than anyone else ever has or ever will.”
He pressed his hand to the small of my back and trapped me against his body. I couldn’t get away if I wanted to. I didn’t want to. Reaching up I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and threaded my hands into his hair. It was soft and silky. I cupped the back of his head and tentatively pulled his mouth toward mine. He teased my lips with the tip of his tongue. I could hear my heart thundering in my ears. He ran his tongue across my lower lip and my knees buckled. I grasped his shoulders as he pulled me tighter against him.
He gently parted my lips with his tongue, sending shock waves through me. He took his slow sweet time. These were different than the kisses from our date. A warm heat suffused my body. I had no idea kissing could be this amazing. He tasted so good. I melted against him. . .into him. As the kiss deepened, I clung to his shoulders and gave back as good as I got. My tongue tangled with his and I had an out of body experience. I was amazed at how my body and lips knew just what to do. I had to stop.
Before I could push him away he stepped back. As much as I knew we had to stop, I was devastated that he pulled away first. My heart was beating like a rapid fire machine gun in my chest.
His voice was thick. “If I don’t stop now I won’t be able to.”
I couldn’t find my voice to save my life. My body trembled and feelings I didn’t understand consumed me. How in such a short time did I feel like this? All I wanted was to be in his arms again, but I stayed still. I was not ready for everything he wanted from me.
“So, do you promise?” Hayden’s voice was hoarse with desire.
“I promise,” I whispered.
His smile took away what little breath I had left. How could a boy this beautiful and amazing care for me?
With my promise secured, he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered shut and all my good intensions along with my brain cells melted away. I wrapped my arms around him and tried to deepen the kiss, but again he pulled back.
I gasped at the loss and watched him struggle with himself to be a gentleman. It was in a Demon’s nature to take what we wanted. I was blown away by Hayden’s restraint. It did make me more curious about his age. A young Demon could never do what he did. Nevertheless, I was glad to see he was as affected as I was.
He took my face in his hands, running his thumbs along my cheekbones. “Not the time or the place, Dixie. You could take me down, beautiful girl.” He smiled and shook his head.
I tried to look away but he made it impossible. “You should probably go,” I told him quietly.
His eyes searched my face for a long moment. “You’re right, but I’m going to see you every day until you leave. I want to teach you how to protect yourself on Earth.”
“Have you been to Earth?” I asked.
“Many times.” He gently placed one last kiss on my lips. “I’ll be seeing you soon. Make sure you keep your flying clothes handy.” He winked and my body clenched in desire. Maybe I was ready to be
his. Maybe. . .
Hayden stepped back and vanished, leaving behind a cloud of beautiful black glitter mist. My hand went automatically to my lips as my body slid to the floor. What exactly had I just promised him? My virginity? My soul? My life? I wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it felt right.
Chapter 12
"Sloth, what do you think about love?"
My sister stopped raiding my refrigerator and gaped at me.
"What?" I said defensively. "It's just a hypothetical question."
"Oh." She heaved a sigh of relief. "In that case, it's messy—causes unwanted attachments and real emotion. I stay away from it at all costs. Do you have any chocolate in here?"
"It's eight in the morning."
"Yes. And?" she said.
"Try the freezer," I told her as I heaved my own sigh. Did Demons even know how to love? Was I slated to be like my sisters and doomed to only feel lust? I knew my dad loved me and in her own warped way Sloth did too, but that wasn't the love I was talking about. If at first you don't succeed. . ."What about soul mates?"
Sloth choked on the wad of chocolate in her mouth. "Soul mates?" she croaked. "Why in the Hell did I roll out of bed this morning? You're giving me indigestion. Do not under any circumstances find a soul mate. It completely ruins the fun of orgies."
"Hmmm, hadn't considered that issue," I snapped sarcastically. As much as I loved her, her morals were skanky, but then again so were the rest of my sisters.
"What have you done, Dixie?" she asked as she drank straight from the pitcher of lemonade in my fridge. "Tell me you didn't bond with a college boy."
"I didn't bond with anyone," I informed her as I wondered if I had indeed bonded with Hayden by making my promise to him. Surprisingly the thought didn't frighten me. It filled me with something warm and unfamiliar.
Sloth's eyes narrowed and she pulled a tub of ice cream from the freezer. "Get a spoon and sit," she demanded. "You're gonna talk while I eat my breakfast."
"Your healthy eating habits overwhelm me." I handed her a spoon and parked my butt across the table from her. I needed to talk, and as much as her choice of breakfast food grossed me out I trusted her.
"Yep. Now spill it."
"Um. . ." Maybe talking was a bad idea. I grabbed another spoon and joined her.
She watched me consume half the carton and waited.
"How would you know if someone was your soul mate?" I asked as I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and tried to ward off the brain freeze that the mint chocolate chip had caused. Hell, no matter how hard I might try, I could never be like my sisters. I was always going to be different—right down to my inability to enjoy a crappy breakfast.
"Satan's balls, I'd hoped my vision was wrong," she muttered.
"Do you have to refer to Dad's testicles this early? My brain is frozen and now my stomach is churning."
"It's just an expression. However, you have now put a visual in my head that made me lose my appetite." She laughed and dropped her spoon to the table with a clank.
"I didn't say it. You did." I grinned at my favorite big sister and tried in vain to wipe the vision of my Dad's privates from my head.
"Subject change. Now," she said. "Enough about Daddy's nutsack. Why do you think you're in love?"
"Wait. What vision?" I asked her. She rarely shared her visions with anyone but Satan.
"You first."
"I'm just trying to figure out if soul mates exist."
"That didn't even come close to answering my question." She crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips in annoyance.
"Fine," I huffed. "I've had feelings for someone for a year, but it feels like I've know him my whole life and then some. When he touches me I feel tingles up my arms, and when I'm not with him I feel empty."
"Shit," she muttered and retrieved her spoon. She stirred the now melting ice cream and her demeanor changed to serious. "Since you came to us a dark presence has followed you. I've never caught a glimpse of him, but whatever he is, he adores you and has acted like a protector."
"Like a guardian Angel?" I asked, confused.
"Possibly, but Demons don't have Angels. At least not the Heavenly kind. Is this boy blond, built like a brick shithouse, more powerful than all get out and as tall as Dad?"
"Yes," I whispered.
She ran her hands through her hair and stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Have you slept with him?"
"No."
"Good—don't. Because he is your soul mate, and if you bond it might all come crashing down around you."
"He'll hurt me?" Why did even asking that question feel ridiculous?
"I would really love to lie to you, but I won't. If you were any other sister of mine I would lie my ass off, but you're not. . ." She got up and paced. Her energy made me tense and I made a grab for the chocolate she'd left on the table.
"Please just tell me."
"He would never hurt you. Ever. But your bonding could rile up the order and all Hell would break loose. Winged jackasses will start showing up everywhere. Just because you're supposed to be with someone doesn't mean you should. Not that you won't possibly end up with the flying bastard, but you need to sow your wild oats, start eating shitty breakfasts and maybe commit a few crimes. Nothing major—I don't think you have that in you, but you can't grow up without being incarcerated a few times. At least try for public intoxication when you go to Earth."
"What does that even mean? And how do you know he can fly?" I threw my hands in the air and accidently pelted her with a Hershey's bar.
"Nice shot," she said and then stopped dead in her tracks. "I was right?"
"About what?" I yelled. "I have no clue what the Hell you were talking about."
"He flies?"
"Yes, he flies." My brain still reeled as I tried to decipher her bizarre and alarming advice. She grabbed my hands and pulled me to the couch.
"Fucking Hell, you're too young. Actually you're not, but you've been protected. Dad has watched you like a hawk since he brought you here. I always thought he was worried your mother would come for you, but it's so much more."
"You're making me nervous and I'm pretty sure you've cut off the circulation in my hands."
"Sorry," she mumbled as she lightened her grip. "It's not that what you feel isn't real. I'm very sure it is. Certain people were created for each other and are destined to be together, but it's always more complicated than that. You've been different from the rest of us since you were brought to Hell. I thought you'd grow into your Demon. . .and you have," she added quickly as I tried to pull my hands from hers. "But there's more to you. Dad knows what it is, but my guess is that you will have to figure it out for yourself."
"So I can trust what I feel?"
"Yes," she said slowly. "But find out who you are first."
"Do you know more than you're telling me?" I asked.
"I wish. My visions aren't like movies. Sometimes I see faces and locations, but most of the time I have feelings. Dad helps me piece them together."
"But not everything comes true like you see it," I said, knowing she kept much of what she saw to herself for that very reason.
"True, which is why I don't advertise."
"So Hayden might not be my soul mate then," I said as a wave of depression washed over me.
"His name is Hayden?" Sloth hissed. Her demeanor went from sisterly to Demony in a hot second.
"Um. . .yeah. Do you know him?"
"Not sure," she answered too quickly. "I'm sure there are lots of Demons named Hayden."
It was my turn to pace. She'd gone quiet and I knew she was done talking. The cryptic nature of my family made me want to tear their heads off, followed by my own.
"If you're not going to talk I want you to leave," I told her.
She nodded and stood. "Just. . .be careful. Do you adhere to the notion of pre-destiny?"
I thought for a moment. I'd never actually considered it, but the answer came to me with clarity. "No. I
believe we make our own. I will make my own."
"Remember that and choose wisely."
With that she disappeared and left me with a Hell of a lot to think about.
***
"How long have you known me?" I asked a confused Hayden.
In his worn jeans and faded t-shirt, he stood in the living room of my bungalow and filled the entire house with his power and size. Not to mention he looked as if he just walked off the cover of a magazine.
"Is this a trick question?" he asked as he leaned in for a kiss that I swiftly avoided.
"No. Well, maybe."
He sat down on the couch and rested his chin on steepled fingers as he watched me. "What exactly are you asking me?"
"Have you known me longer than a year?" His thoughtful expression made me uneasy.
"I have dreamt of you for eternity. I've seen your face and heard your laugh for more years than you could imagine and—yes, I've known you."
"Since I was a child?"
He nodded and waited.
I was torn between elation and fury. My emotions ran riotous in my head and I had no clue what I really felt.
"How old are you?"
"A bit older than you," he hedged and grinned sheepishly.
"Like fifty or a hundred years older?"
"Something like that," he said. "Does that scare you?"
"Isn't that a little pervy?"
He threw his head back and laughed. Hell, that was so unfair. He was so beautiful when he was joyous and I wanted to curl up next to him and trace his lips with my fingers.
"Um. . ." He struggled to regain his composure with little success. Patting the couch beside him, he gave me a sexy lopsided grin. "Sit, please."
I did, but I kept a respectable amount of distance between us so I didn't jump him.
"My dreams of you gave me the hope of a happily ever after—not that I necessarily deserve one, but it has kept me going for many years. When you live a long time the desire to end oneself occurs frequently." He paused and ran his hands through his hair. "The knowledge that one day I would find you is the only reason I'm still here."
This was far larger and more overwhelming than anything I could have imagined him saying. The thought of him destroying himself was unthinkable to me. I picked relentlessly at my fingernails as I wondered how much more I wanted to hear.
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