She walked out and he watched her go.
He wanted to rage, to kick at the desk and punch the walls. Just like when he’d lost his unit on Kebira. He wanted to yell at the sky and rage at any gods that might listen.
But he’d already learned just how hopeless that was.
On autopilot, Savan found the showers and scrubbed himself clean. As the water pounded over his head, memories of his night with Brinn flashed behind his eyes.
But it wasn’t just the sex. It was the way the moonslight made her skin glow. The way she smiled at the silly carving he’d given her. The way her hand found his when she needed strength.
He couldn’t lose her.
He dressed in hurried moves and went looking for her. Instead he found Elin waiting for him in the hall, arms crossed over her chest.
“Have you seen Brinn? I need to talk to her.”
One blond eyebrow rose. “You really think I’m going to tell you?”
He winced. Her tone was so sharp, he should be bleeding. “She told you?”
“She didn’t tell me squat. So why don’t you tell me exactly what you did to her, Rendarian scum? Whatever it was had her nabbing my transport and shooting back down the mountain.”
Brinn was gone.
He rubbed a hand over the dull ache spreading through his chest. “She thinks what happened between us was just so I could secure the deal for the fusion crystals.”
Elin didn’t move. “And was it?”
“No. I never planned to seduce her. I would have done almost anything for the crystals, but what happened...” A part of him didn’t want to share what had happened between him and Brinn, even to her cousin. It was theirs alone, something private to cherish.
Elin’s lips quirked. “She got to you, didn’t she?”
He managed a nod.
“Brinn Fjord brought the big, bad negotiator, Savan Bardan, to his knees.”
Her gleeful tone would have rankled him a day ago, but now it made him want to smile. “No need to gloat, Perman.”
“Oh, Bardan, I’m going to be gloating for days.” She studied his face. “Or maybe even years. I’ll loan you a transport so you can get back to the spaceport.”
He didn’t want to leave Perma. Not like this. “No advice? No telling me where I can find her?”
“Nope. You’re a big boy. I think you’ll work out what to do.”
During the drive down the mountain, his plans seesawed from tracking her down and kissing he senseless until she listened to him to flying back to Rendar and giving them both some space.
He had to organize the logistics of shipping the fusion crystals to Rendar. He had a new job to take over. There’d be party after party to celebrate his new role. He had a seat at the Trade Guild leadership table to take up.
He had a life to go back to. Why the hell was he tormenting himself over one Perman negotiator?
As the winding mountain road flattened out onto the ice plains, Savan felt his heart get heavier and heavier.
He didn’t want to board his tradeship.
He didn’t want to go back to Rendar.
He wanted Brinn.
With a sigh, he pulled into the spaceport and parked the transport. His tradeship gleamed under the dull Perman sun.
Had it only been a day and a half since he’d stepped off it to be welcomed by Brinn’s frosty distrust? It felt like weeks, months. He felt changed.
He pressed his hands against the dash. It was crazy to think he and Brinn had had anything more than a temporary dalliance. What had he thought would happen? That she’d move back to Rendar and sign a partnership agreement with him?
She loved her planet. It was more than he could say for himself. He was a trader to escape the past, because it gave him purpose. He’d never really thought past winning the deal. He’d never really given a lot of thought to the people of Rendar. And the people of Rendar only cared about themselves.
Guess that made him the perfect Rendarian.
He wouldn’t mess up Brinn Fjord’s life any more than he had already.
He let his head drop back against the seat. He’d go and be the perfect Rendarian. The perfect trade negotiator.
The cold, merciless Savan Bardan everyone said he was.
The man Brinn had uncovered in the Perman mountains would stay there. He was a lie.
He shut off the pain flowing through him. He let the familiar calm he’d spent a lifetime perfecting drop over him. He got out of the vehicle and closed the door.
Savan stalked across the tarmac to his ship and boarded without a backward glance.
* * *
Brinn sat in her borrowed transport and watched Savan board his ship.
Tears blurred her vision. She twisted her hands in her lap. It was best if he left. Best that he went back to his world and all he had waiting.
But it hurt.
She’d spent the drive from the mountains trying not to think about him. Huge failure. Instead, she’d turned their final conversation over and over in her head. Had replayed every minute they spent together.
It couldn’t all have been a lie. She’d seen emotions slip through his mask.
She dipped a hand into her pocket and withdrew the little ice carving. She’d managed to spray it with nano-coating, and now it was perfectly preserved. Stroking a finger down the man’s face, she remembered how Savan had looked when he gave it to her.
Vulnerable.
The tough negotiator with no family who’d gone through hell in the wars, who lived for his job, had been vulnerable.
He was crying out to be loved. And she wanted to be the one to show him.
Despite his boss’s order, one that had shattered her when she found out, she didn’t believe Savan had seduced her for the fusion crystals.
Oh, she had no doubt he thought he might have tried to if the deal hadn’t gone his way, but during their ordeal in the mountains, she’d gotten to know him—the man behind the fierce reputation.
The Savan who’d touched her, tasted her and given her untold pleasure had been a man learning to feel with the full force of his senses. She’d seen the way he slowly started to show his emotions. Like cracks in glacial ice, she’d seen the facade he showed the galaxy fracture.
And underneath she’d seen a man she wanted to fall in love with.
A man who was leaving her.
She looked up, watching the idling ship readying for takeoff. She couldn’t watch him leave.
“Computer, set course for Skeolan village.”
By the time she reached the outskirts of the town, her tears had dried. The winter-wonderland lights were ablaze.
She wandered the streets, heading for the town square. Yuletide scents—cloves, cinnamon and vanilla—filled the air. It was beautiful, but nowhere near as wonderful as their makeshift Yule in the mountains.
All around her, families laughed together. Elders talked over their steaming mugs of glogg. And couples cuddled to keep warm. The large Yule tree stood in the center of the square, its bright lights winking while carolers sang nearby.
A time for sharing and loving. And she was alone.
She’d get him back.
Hope surged into her. She’d go to Rendar or the Guild Trade Station. They still had the finer details to work out on the crystal deal. She’d make him realize she had a lot more to offer him than a stuffy top job on Rendar.
Then the crowds shifted and she saw a tall man standing alone and still. Watching her.
Savan.
At first she couldn’t move. Afraid he might disappear.
Heart in her throat, she forced her feet to move toward him.
Like her, he was dressed in borrowed clothes from the mine, and except for his dark hair and exotic eyes, he could ha
ve been just another Perman, celebrating Yule.
She stopped with only two meters between them. They stared at each other, a cool breeze whipping around them.
“You didn’t leave.”
“I saw you at the spaceport.”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I had some time to think on the drive—”
He yanked her to his chest and captured her mouth with his. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back with the full force of everything she felt.
It was minutes before they broke apart. But he held on to her like he thought she might slip away if he let her go.
“You came.” He pressed his forehead to hers.
“For a crack negotiator, you don’t have very good lines.”
The smallest hint of a smile. Then it disappeared like a wraith in the night. “Brinn, I didn’t seduce you for the deal. I don’t care about the fusion crystals. Consider the deal null and void.”
Her breath caught in her lungs. “You don’t mean that.”
Steady green eyes. “I do. I want you to know I didn’t make love to you for any other reason than you completely seduced me.” His hands tightened on her. “I was lost the moment you kissed me under the mistel.”
Her tight chest eased. “Savan.”
His hands slid up to cup her cheeks. “I’ve spent years trying to outrun the darkness the war left in me. I thought becoming a negotiator and working my way to the top would be the answer.”
“And now?”
“You’ve shown me I can have more. You’re my light in the dark.” He lowered his head again, a quick brush of lips. “You think you can show an emotionally-stunted Rendarian how to fall in love?”
She reached up and ran a finger over his lips. “I’ve always liked a challenge.”
But worry crept through the happiness. How could they make this work? Her place was here on Perma, his on Rendar?
When she frowned, she saw his face fall. Then it tightened, wiping away all expression.
With a sigh, she gripped his hands. “First thing you have to learn is not to hide what you’re feeling. I’m frowning because I’m not sure how we’ll make this work, not because I don’t want to be with you.”
His shoulders relaxed. “When you overheard Kolar, when you left the mine... I never want to feel like that again.”
Her poor Rendarian. She tangled her fingers with his, squeezed. “Being with someone, sharing your life, loving someone, it means risking your emotions. It means some days you’ll feel sad, happy, hurt, loved... Sometimes you can feel them all together.”
“You have to risk to get the reward.”
“Exactly. And I think you’re worth the risk, Negotiator Bardan.”
He frowned. “No one’s ever thought that before.”
She slid her hands up his chest. “Because you hadn’t found me yet.”
He backed her into the shadows between some evergreen trees, slipping his hands inside her coat, skimming past her breasts. “I feel a little bit thankful toward the Tauvi.”
“What?” she spluttered.
“Without their stupid scheme to kill us or send us into slavery, we’d never have ended up having our Yule in the mountains.” He moved closer. “You’d never have let me close enough.”
“Now that I’ve let you close enough, we’ll have to find a way to make this, us, work.” She looked out at the busy square filled with the traditions she loved. “My place is here. Working for my planet’s prosperity.”
“I know how much Perma means to you, Brinn. It’s one of the things I admire about you.” He too looked out over the square. “I envy you. I’ve never felt that way about Rendar. But you’ve inspired me to find a way to help my planet. And I seem to have developed a liking for cold climates.”
“You’d spend some time here?” She was almost afraid to hear his answer. She didn’t want to see him only a few weeks here and there, a quick getaway when their schedules crossed.
“Yes. A lot of time, if you’re here. I want you to show me how to make a home.”
She couldn’t breathe. “And Rendar?”
“Can benefit from the things you’ve done here on Perma. I’ll need to spend a lot of time here, learning from you.” He nuzzled his nose against hers. “I’ll still do trade deals for Rendar, for responsible technologies and items that can help Rendar find a better way to live. So I might travel back there sometimes, but I’d want you to come with me.”
A part of her was still too afraid to believe. “You can’t be head negotiator from here.”
“No.” He skimmed his knuckles across her cheek. “I won’t lie, letting the job go leaves me a bit breathless, but it doesn’t seem to matter to me as much anymore.”
“Mister, mister, is it time now?”
Brinn blinked and looked down. The young girl who’d accosted them last time bounced on her heels beside them. Brinn watched, bemused, as Savan handed the girl a coin.
“Right on time.” He winked at the girl.
She handed something to him with a giggle before running back into the crowd.
Savan held up a small bunch of mistel. “I believe there’s a tradition to honor the frost goddess.”
Brinn loved seeing him smile. She leaned up for his kiss. “We’ll make a Perman out of you yet, Rendarian.”
* * * * *
About the Author
Mining engineer by day and writer the rest of the time, Anna Hackett grew up an avid reader with no dreams of being a writer. Her career in mining has taken her all around the world and sparked her desire to write.
As a teenager, she raided her mother’s romances and her father’s action-adventure books, so it’s no surprise that her stories combine both. When she isn’t wearing boots and a hard hat, she’s at her computer drinking too much Diet Coke and working on her stories.
Anna loves hearing from readers. You can find out more about her and her latest releases at www.annahackettbooks.com.
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ISBN: 978-14268-9478-7
Copyright © 2012 by Harlequin Books S.A.
The publisher acknowledges the copyright holders of the individual works as follows:
How the Glitch Saved Christmas
ISBN: 978-14268-9479-4
Copyright © 2012 by Stacy Gail Shoeman
Galileo’s Holiday
ISBN: 978-14268-9480-0
Copyright © 2012 by Sasha Summers
Winter Fusion
ISBN: 978-14268-9481-7
Copyright © 2012 by Anna Hackett
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All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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