She will stay with me in my apartment and will keep her things in the kitchen/break room area downstairs, as I simply don’t have room to store her groceries in my small but romantic Victorian kitchen. I gave her permission to do her card tricks outside the store, so if you see her performing please don’t ask her to leave as we’ve done a few times before with others. Also, because she is an artist, she asks that when she is doing her card tricks or otherwise practicing around the store, please let her concentrate and give her the space she needs to perfect her skills for Vegas. Also, you must call her Rainbow and not shorten it to Rain, which she hates.
I am terribly excited to be living in such proximity to a true artist! I know you will give her a warm Curious Cat welcome!
See you tomorrow!
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Sun, March 24, 2019 at 10:45 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: New Lodger
Wow, okay. Cool.
—A
March 25, 2019
My new lodger is a true gem! Angela, of course, is baffled by her presence, and I often catch her staring at Rainbow in disbelief as she practices her magic on the staircase or by the front door, but I think she’ll come around in time.
I believe it was in the fifteenth century when aristocrats and various wealthy patrons of the arts would take artists under their wing and support them financially so that they would be able to pursue their dreams and hone their craft. I daresay that today, as I watched Rainbow light a cigar and stick it up her nose, I found that our arrangement is not so dissimilar. She is the Botticelli to my Medici, but instead of painting the Madonna, my artist is attempting a straitjacket escape. If both bring joy, I fail to see a great difference.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Mar 26, 2019 at 9:18 AM
To: Hank Turo
Subject: Cats for sale
Dear Hank,
I came across your ad in the classifieds regarding the six cats, and since your price is very reasonable, I would like to ask you a few questions:
Are they declawed?
How are they with rabbits?
Are they aloof or friendly?
Are they litter-box trained?
Are they wormed, spayed/neutered, tick-free, flea-free, up to date with shots?
Have they scratched, hissed, bitten?
It is a hobby of mine to feed the strays outside my building, and though I would love to take one of them in, it is far too costly for me to pay for what will certainly be a hefty vet bill getting one neutered/spayed and up to date with shots. Money is tight these days, so please understand that I am only asking for a cat that has already been made suitable for domestic life.
I eagerly await your response.
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Wed, Mar 27, 2019 at 11:01 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Rainbow
Rainbow is hanging upside down on the second-floor banister. I don’t know what to do.
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Wed, Mar 27, 2019 at 11:13 AM
To: Angela Washington
Re: Rainbow
Dear Angela,
Please allow Rainbow to express herself however she pleases. She is a professional and no doubt knows exactly what she is doing. We do not ask electricians to cease operations just because they are removing outlets. We do not interrogate plumbers when they cut through pipes. If Rainbow doesn’t feel safe to stretch her limitations in her own (temporary) home, she will never achieve her goal of shocking and inspiring.
Therefore, my advice would be to simply sit back and enjoy the show!
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner
March 30, 2019
Rainbow and I visited Jane last night with a bottle of red wine. I feel that these days, after the loss of Butterscotch, this is the best way for me to cope: with good company and decent wine. Rainbow performed magic tricks for Jane, which positively thrilled her to the point of nearly spilling her drink all over herself. More than that, Jane loved Jellybean, who cuddled up on her lap as we all turned our attention to Star Trek reruns, per Rainbow’s request. Jane did not seem to mind the show, which is good because it is my default to allow the artist whatever she needs, as every little thing could lead to a great artistic breakthrough or further inspiration for a new act. Often when I am around Rainbow, I feel as if I am watching history in the making.
All that said, it would be nice to hear something from my family. They don’t know about Butterscotch because I haven’t told them, which I can’t fault them for. Still, it would be appreciated if someone reached out to check on things. Just because they are not hearing from me does not mean I am okay.
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Sat, Apr 6, 2019 at 9:34 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Jellybean
So Rainbow bounced to go do some tricks in Center City and left me with Jellybean. It is now pooping on the floor and chewing on cables. Not sure what to do here.
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 6, 2019 at 10:24 AM
To: Angela Washington
Re: Jellybean
Angela,
I’m sorry that I only just saw this. I hope Jellybean is okay. Also, Jellybean is a she, a pronoun that Rainbow insists upon, as she says, “Animals have souls and are not ‘its.’”
I am currently dealing with a refrigerator leak but I will be down shortly to retrieve her and put her in the cage. I am not sure why Rainbow didn’t do that initially.
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Sat, Apr 6, 2019 at 10:29 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Jellybean
I don’t know why she didn’t think of it either. It could have had something to do with Rainbow being “struck by sudden inspiration” to run off to Center City and do some magic. She actually used the words, “The muse is attacking me.” She barely had time to put her shoes on before running out the door, so I guess Jellybean was far from her mind.
Thanks.
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Apr 8, 2019 at 12:13 PM
To: Angela Washington
Subject: Internet games
Dear Angela,
I don’t mind that you check email or the news once in a while, but please don’t sit at the front register and play on the internet all day. From the middle of the stairs, I can see your screen. It wasn’t my intention to come down and spy on you; I merely wanted to see the kind of customer volume we have today, and my eyes were drawn to the glowing screen. A good way to spend your time might be to clean up the Mark Twain Room, as according to a local “journalist,” it looks like a tornado blew through.
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner
From: Hank Turo
Sent: Mon, Apr 8, 2019 at 2:42 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Cats for sale
Answers below.
Are they declawed? No
How are they with rabbits? No clue
Are they aloof or friendly? All are friendly
Are they litter-box trained? Yes
Are they wormed, spayed/neutered, tick-free, flea-free? Yes
Have they scratched, hissed, bitten? Yes, they are cats
Hank
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Apr 8, 2019 at 3:30 PM
To: Hank Turo
Re: Cats for sale
Hank,
Thank you for answering all my questions. I would only be interested in one cat. How did you come about acquiring six adult cats? Did a grandmother recently die, or are you a Good Samaritan who collects strays off the street? You could easily put them in shelters but instead you sell
them, so I want to be sure that this is an admirable, philanthropic venture and that you are not, for example, breaking into people’s homes and robbing them of their cats to turn a profit. I wouldn’t want to support such a scheme.
Where are you located so that I can perhaps visit them? That is, after you answer me on how you acquired these animals.
Best wishes,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium
From: Hank Turo
Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 9:33 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Cats for sale
I did not steal these cats. Three are from my sister who recently divorced her husband and had to move to a smaller place. Two have been taken in from the street and cared for and the last one I’ve had for years, but he won’t stop humping the other cats. Mainly, I’m just looking to get rid of the five so the humper doesn’t have anyone to violate, but you can take him if you want.
I don’t like being accused of crimes I didn’t commit.
I live in South Philly.
Let me know if you’re still interested.
Hank
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 12:26 PM
To: Hank Turo
Re: Cats for sale
Hank,
In no way was it my goal to offend. I am a sensitive person when it comes to animals and the cruelty and moneygrubbing that often befalls them. As they cannot speak for themselves, it is so much more important that we stand up for them. Hence my accusation was well intentioned.
Now, on to the matter of the cats. I am looking for a cat that can help me run my popular bookstore. Since you are down in South Philadelphia, I am unsure if you have ventured across the river for reading material, as there are some good bookstores down there, unfriendly though they may be. But perhaps only to me? A year ago I contacted a store in your area to team up, but they outright refused to have any business with me, stating that they have heard of my store and think that I “make other used bookstores look bad.” Ridiculous! Aside from the rather shocking words (I realize now they were only jealous), I am often mystified by this standoffish behavior.
But I digress, and for that I apologize. I have been rather glum lately, so I tend to do the lonely thing and go on and on about anything my heart desires. It is even more convenient for me while writing an email, as you cannot walk away. Ha ha! I suppose you could stop reading, and for that reason I will get back on track!
Case in point, I nearly spilled my wine glass all over my keyboard! Time to focus!
Since you came about these cats by virtuous means, I would love to stop by—perhaps tomorrow—and meet them. I only need a cat who is friendly enough, as I plan not to get too attached. I will not go into the sadness of the passing of my last cat, but I will tell you that when I love something, I love it with all my being. So much harder is it then when it’s taken from me.
Well, that is all for now. Let us set up a kitty date?
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium
From: Florence Eakins
Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 3:33 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Pirates
Okay! So Pirates tickets are ten bucks each. There is only one comp ticket, and we’ve decided to give it to Mom.
Hope to see you there!
Flo
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 7:18 PM
To: Florence Eakins
Re: Pirates
Dear Florence,
That’s what they want to charge people for a middle school show? Who’s in the play with them, Pavarotti? If Mother is taking the comp ticket, that’s fine. I know she is on a very fixed income.
I am very much looking forward to seeing it!
Regards,
Fawn
From: Hank Turo
Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 8:42 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Cats for sale
Sure, let’s meet tomorrow at noon in Palumbo Park instead. My wife and I will bring them all in crates, and you can check them out. I don’t like to let strangers into my house.
Hank
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 9:18 PM
To: Hank Turo
Re: Cats for sale
Hank,
I understand. Since my home is attached to my business, I have no choice but to let Philadelphians stomp around underneath my sacred apartment. It is often an odd feeling and spurs many strange dreams. Often I wake in the middle of the night to find that I am sitting up in bed, handing imaginary people their change and bidding them good day. My hands do this dance around my imaginary cash register for hours before I realize, through a sleepy fog, that I have been up all night conducting business in bed with no one there at all!
I digress again! I apologize. Since my cat died, I have been in quite a state; however, I have recently taken in a new lodger who has been a much-needed ray of sunshine. Appropriately, her name is Rainbow. Go figure!
Tomorrow at Palumbo Park sounds splendid! I will be wearing a sun hat with a red ribbon. How many cats will you be bringing?
Many thanks,
Fawn
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Wed, Apr 10, 2019 at 1:23 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Rainbow
Rainbow is on the roof doing headstands because she told me it was “headstand Wednesday.” I thought you should know because people walking by are concerned. Also, I don’t know how much this has to do with magic tricks, so I think asking her to stop would be okay and not get in the way of her “artistry.”
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Wed, Apr 10, 2019 at 1:45 PM
To: Angela Washington
Re: Rainbow
Angela,
Thank you for letting me know. I will ask her to come down unless she can justify what this has to do with magic. Thank you for being concerned for her safety.
Fawn, Owner
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Wed, Apr 10, 2019 at 2:02 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Rainbow
More than anything, I’m concerned that her falling would be a huge liability. Not sure that’s something you want to risk.
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 1:09 AM
To: Hank Turo
Re: Cats for sale
Hank!
I have decided! After MUCH internal debating, I choose the overweight gray one. He is sluggish and dull but has lovely, kind eyes. Would you be able to deliver him?
Fawn
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 2:20 AM
To: Hank Turo
Re: Cats for sale
Hank,
It was so lovey meeting you and your wife the other day. No doubt she has won the the jackpot as not only are you a young self-reliant urban farmer, but an attractive one at that! Also I get the impression that you are a democrat and an athest by the Darwin t-shirt you were wearing when we met. You are a gem and I cannot help but think how lucky your wife is . . . not that she is not beautiful! She is quite somewhat pretty indeed, but I got the feeling that she was a little protective of you and I dare admit say, I would behave the same if you were my husband, as you are a real steal. She did come across as mildly hyperaware of me, aloof and slightly threatend. I do hope I didn’t frighten her, as I pose no threat whatsoever! Sometimes my cherry nature is mistaken for flirtation, and so I do hope hope that impression was not given.
Did I say I waned the gray cat? If I didn’t and sipped all that accidentally then please yes, I will take the gray cat.
Many thanks,
Fawn
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 10:30 AM
To: Hank Turo
Subject: Apologies
Hank,
> I couldn’t remember if I wrote to tell you that I had decided on the cat, so I checked to see if I sent any emails last night to find, to my horror, that I in fact did tell you and rather drunkenly to boot. I apologize profusely for making you a victim of my tipsy emails. Of course, it could be worse. Luckily I don’t get into cars and hit people, but I do believe drunk emailing is one of those unspoken awful truths that we tend to forget happens until we find ourselves the victim or the instigator. I hope this doesn’t make you change your mind about adopting out one of your cats. I am so embarrassed and beg for your understanding and forgiveness.
Many thanks,
Fawn
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 1:12 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Subject: Author reading
Dear Mark,
I was surprised to be walking by your store today to see a poster in the window advertising an author reading. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was none other than Ian McEwan. I am impressed that you were able to snag someone as enormously famous and successful as he, so my question to you is: Being as small-time and new as you are, how much did you offer him? I can only assume that two scenarios exist here: either you are fabulously wealthy and no one is the wiser or you have astounding connections. I believe the former to be truer, for if you did have excellent connections you wouldn’t have purchased a store on a street that constantly floods, is laden with potholes, and has a severe mildew problem (it’s in every building, trust me on that). I realize money could have bought you a nice high-rent spot on Rittenhouse, but let’s be honest with ourselves and admit that it is not wealth that helps us make intelligent decisions but the know-how and ingenuity that good connections can bring.
So surely, unlike me, you cannot lure him on merit alone, having only been open a few months. I imagine someone like you must utilize other tactics—financial tactics, perhaps? Don’t worry about divulging such things to me, as you know I am only asking out of curiosity from one business owner to another. I’ve oft thought of dragging authors in from their busy and reclusive lives to do a reading but it seems, in a strange way, to be such a selfish move on my part. Shouldn’t they be churning out new material and not languishing in the past, wallowing in what they’ve already accomplished? Why not have someone else read their material so they can get back to work!? It’s all the same on paper! Anyway, I am not saying this to convince you to halt this lofty idea, but think on what it might mean to Mr. McEwan, who no doubt has to give up precious writing time to read from a book.
Confessions of a Curious Bookseller Page 20