They didn’t love her.
That’s why they bought her nice clothes and fancy jewelry and then took other women to the ball. That’s why they kept a shrine to the dead fiancée and made Amanda live out of bags. Cody hadn’t even been able to look at her last night.
Amanda might love them, but it would never be returned. Even if they married her, stayed loyal to her, protected and provided for her, they’d still be settling for her. That was the truth and now everybody in town knew it.
They’d pity her, no doubt, but it would the life Amanda earned. She had a chance once, a long time ago, to have a real family, and she’d destroyed it. How fitting then that she should have the perfect shell of one offered to her now?
It would be perfect in all reasonable ways. She’d have men to tend to all the house work, so much money to live life without worry, and children, but she wouldn’t have their love. Without it, everything else just felt hollow.
A loud crack of a drawer being snapped closed in the bedroom next door had Amanda’s head lifting. Knox? It couldn’t possibly be him. He wouldn’t be hiding in the bedroom while Cody unloaded his shit pile on top of her.
No, Knox had a barbaric, confrontational nature, he’d be in the middle of any fight he got near. Which was probably good because when she got a hold of him…
Crash!
Amanda’s head lifted off the pillow at the sound of something hard and heavy hitting the floor. Her body followed suit, rolling to the side and off the mattress as it followed the sounds of scavenging coming through the connected bathroom into the Knox’s room.
The day she trashed Knox’s room she hadn’t made such a racket. Neither had she tore through his possession like Lydia was. In a shock greater than when Cody had dropped his bombshell, Amanda took in the mass destruction before her. Drawers had been pulled out and emptied. Piles of shoeboxes, belts and shirts lay scattered around the open closet.
There knelt Lydia, rooting through the large storage locker at the bottom of the closet. So intent on looking for whatever it was, Lydia didn’t even appear to notice Amanda coming up behind her. She’d about positioned herself to scare the living crap out of the woman when she got distracted by the lockbox strewn across the floor.
She’d noticed it the other day when she’d been looking in Knox’s mirror. The key had been sticking out of the lock, but she’d had no real interest in his personal papers. Apparently, Lydia did, and they weren’t papers, but disks. DVD’s or CD’s, Amanda didn’t know or care, she just stepped around them as she crept up on Lydia.
JB-JK…Amanda hesitated for a second noticing the large letters written on the discs. CH-CJ? Before Amanda could figure out what bothered her about the scrawled abbreviations, Lydia turned on her.
Almost banging right into Amanda, the older woman gave a startled shriek, rearing backward. Before Amanda could press the advantage, Lydia recovered. Obviously, the older woman had snapped her cap because she sprang to her feet like a woman possessed.
“Where is it?”
Fruit loop and in a kind of scary way. Amanda didn’t have a clue as to what Lydia was talking about. It didn’t matter. She knew enough to stumble backward as Lydia advanced on her.
“Where is it?”
“Where is what?” Amanda shot back, annoyed but still retreating. “Your medication?”
“The necklace,” Lydia snarled.
“Necklace? Are you sure you don’t need a little yellow pill right about now?”
“Don’t fuck with me,” Lydia snarled, shocking Amanda more with her tone than her unheard of use of profanity. “You know what fucking necklace I’m talking about.”
Amanda reeled back in absolute horror as she did it again. Lydia cursing was like the Mona Lisa flashing her tits. It just didn’t happen, but it was, and it kind of scared the crap out of Amanda. She’d always thought Lydia was a tight ass and, apparently, she was going into thermal nuclear meltdown mode.
“The necklace. Where. Is. It?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about, you crazy old coot.” Amanda planted her feet in the bathroom doorway and held her ground. “What necklace?”
“Sharon’s necklace.”
“Sharon?” Amanda repeated in absolute confusion. “You think I stole one of your daughter’s necklaces?”
“I know that heartless bastard, Knox, gave it to you, but it doesn’t belong to you. It belongs to Sharon.”
Amanda froze, feeling icy tendrils of doom snake down all around her. That necklace…Sharon’s necklace? Not even Knox would do something like that.
“You’re lying. Knox bought that necklace for me.”
“He bought it four years ago as a way of trying to bribe my daughter into marrying his damn brother. Trust me. I know. I picked it out. Now where is it?”
Numbly, Amanda stepped deeper into the bathroom to remove the necklace box from where she’d tucked it away with the rest of her toiletries. Turning, she held it out to Lydia, still doubting this nightmare was actually real. There could be no denying the twisted joy lighting up Lydia’s eyes when she snapped the box open.
“I still don’t believe you.” The unauthorized comment escaped her lips before her mind could stop them. “Knox wouldn’t give me a necklace you picked out for your daughter.”
Only the biggest kind of asshole would do something like that. Lydia’s smile provided no comfort. She snapped the lid to the jewelry box closed and gave Amanda a little condescending shake of the head.
“You’re such a fool. You really think any of my boys care about you? You’re just another whore on their list.”
Normally that kind of insult got a person smacked, but Lydia was older, and had such a toothy smile, Amanda feared she might actually get bit. The old bitch definitely had a nasty bark.
“Go and look if you don’t believe me. It’s all there in the office.” Lydia smirked and ran a disgusted eye down Amanda’s length. “You didn’t even make the first page. Hell, you barely made the second.”
Amanda had absolutely no idea what this list was, but she wanted to know. “What are you talking about? What list?”
“The list of women like you. Women the brothers are interviewing to replace my Sharon.” Total hatred overwhelmed the short woman’s pert features. “But it won’t be you. I saw what your precious Knox wrote about you in the journal. Not at all like the glowing review he gave Julie Brown. Beautiful, intelligent, and sexy, ideal candidate.”
That woke up Amanda’s rage and this time she stepped into Lydia. “You’re lying.”
“Then go see for yourself. Top drawer, green spiral notebook. Makes for entertaining reading.”
With a growl, Amanda whipped around and stormed off for the office. Barely more than a minute later she stood over Knox’s desk, holding the very notebook that Lydia had sent her to find. She just stood there, shaking as she felt the very fragile thread of happiness she’d found these past weeks deflating into doom all around her.
I should have known it wasn’t real. Men like Knox and Jace just didn’t fall for women like her. They used women like her because she was dumb enough to let them. Tears filled her eyes as her strength drained from body. She collapsed into the big leather chair.
Bracing for the worst, Amanda opened the notebook. The first two pages were clear cut, a list of attributes a man might look for in a wife. Keeps a clean house, educated well enough to aid children with homework, present a proper appearance at all times in public, those were the three things topping Knox’s list. Cody’s not surprisingly consisted of a much less prudish list. It started with ‘must be sexually submissive’.
Really nothing about the pages shocked her. Knowing the brothers as she did, Amanda didn’t find a single request out of character for any of them. They’d built themselves a list to define their perfect woman. She didn’t pass the test.
That’s probably why her name didn’t appear for another page, second to last on the list of potential candidates. Her eyes read over it again as
Jace’s voice floated through her head. Are you going to deny this thing that is between us? Jace had made her fantasy real that night, or at least she thought he had. Now she could see the darkness in it.
I’ve never been as instantly attracted to woman the way I am you. Not just your body, Amanda, but to you. Lies, beautiful, perfect lies he’d used to seduce her into feeling special, into feeling loved. Amanda should have listened to her own advice. Never trust a man whose erection is poking you in the stomach.
What a fool she was. These men didn’t love her. They hadn’t just used her, they’d bought her. Cody had paid off her dad and Knox had paid her off with his former lover’s jewelry. Worse than them treating her like some kind of whore, Amanda had let them.
There came the numbness again, the rush of cold reason as questions rolled through her mind. What to do?
JB disqualified because of mutual hatred with C. Amanda stared at the line, seeing through it for several minutes before her eyes focused on the actual words. It was Knox’s handwriting. A note listed on Julie Brown’s page along with other relevant information about her.
Knox had written that Amanda was trouble. Only he referred to me as AJ…JB…JB-JK…Julie Brown, Jace and Knox? Amanda’s heart about stopped. It couldn’t be.
* * * *
Jace pulled back on the reigns, bringing Winston to a clopping stop alongside the open stall gate. “You hiding?”
Cody’s head rolled across the wall. His younger brother was propped up against the solid, concrete wall, legs splayed out through the hay covering the cement floor. He looked like a broken down doll, not even capable of speech. His brows lifted, and with his eyes he said yes.
“So you told her?” That’s just why Jace had come back. He’d followed Knox’s lead and left Cody to handle his own mess, but couldn’t resist the urge to be there for Amanda. She had to be hurting, and he couldn’t leave her to do that alone.
“Yeah.” Cody sighed, appearing to cave under the weight of his own breath. “I told her.”
“Well,” Jace eyed Cody. “You don’t look any worse than you did last night.”
“Surprised?”
“A little.”
Cody smirked, his eyes rolling closed. “Me too. I thought for sure she’d take my head off.”
Jace waited, but his brother didn’t add anything on. “And?”
“It’s worse. She totally disconnected. She just went…cold.”
Cold wasn’t a word Jace would ever use to describe Amanda, just the opposite. That went to prove just how bad the situation had gone.
“Time for you to work your charm on her.” Cody sounded defeated and angry at the same time. It almost hurt to listen to him. “You’re the smoothest when it comes to Amanda.”
“And if I do fix this, what then?”
Cody popped an eye open. “What do you mean?”
“You gonna put me in this position again?”
His brother laughed, a bitter, hollow sound. “I’d do whatever takes, Jace. I want to, but…”
Jace scowled, not at all sure what Cody was yammering on about. Whatever it was, he could detect the disgust in his brother’s tone and it worried him. “But what?”
“I tried to tell her I love her.” Cody’s other eye opened as he lifted his head off the wall. “I do love her, and I wanted to say it, but…the words just wouldn’t come out.”
“So you’re just gonna give up?” Jace felt disgusted and terrified.
“No.” Cody shook his head. “I just don’t understand why I can’t say it.”
Jace didn’t even know how to begin to respond to that bit of stupidity. He didn’t intend on wasting any time on figuring it out, either. There would be enough time in his life to deal with his younger brother. Amanda, on the other hand, might not even still be in the house.
Slipping down Winston’s sides, he tossed the reigns in Cody’s direction. “Get your lazy ass off the floor and make yourself useful.”
With that, he headed for the house and a future that had only grown bleaker. He’d just reached for the back doorknob when the door itself flew outward and flattened his face. Amanda barreled into him like a train on crack. Not even bothering to speak, much less slow down for the steps, she’d made it into the yard before Jace even realized who had smacked into him.
His big legs against her little ones meant he caught her just under the edge of the carport. He might have size on his side, but she had a rage like he’d never seen in another person on hers. Cold and detached, his ass. When his hand clamped around her wrist, she about ripped his arm clear out of its socket whipping free of his grip.
“Amanda—”
“Don’t touch me!”
“Amanda, wait.”
“Leave me alone.”
She wrenched open her door with enough force it wouldn’t have surprised Jace if it fell off. He moved quickly to block her from getting in the car.
“I’m not going to let you go anywhere until we talk.”
She paused, meeting him head on and exposing him to the full force of her anguish. Jace cringed at what he saw. Anger and pain flared so hotly, blending together with the strength of her rage that he feared the flames might leap from her eyes and consume him whole.
“I’m only going to say this once. I don’t ever, ever want to see you, any of you, ever again.”
With that, she kicked him hard on the shin, making him dance enough out of her way to slide into the driver’s seat and slam the door closed. Jace backed up fast, not at all certain she wouldn’t run him over as she gunned the engine to life and spun out from under the carport. With another dig of the tires, she left ruts in the yard and peeled out.
He watched helplessly as a dust trail followed her flight down the drive. Damnit. Digging his phone out of his pocket, Jace hated to, but he had little choice but to call the sheriff. The clerk who answered the phone gave him some grief about putting him through to Tony until Jace told him it had to do with Amanda.
A second later the sheriff barked into the phone, “Who is this?”
“It’s Jace Reese, and I need a favor.”
“Really? Why should I care?”
Jace didn’t have time for Tony’s attitude. “Because Amanda is upset, and she just tore out of my driveway in her car. I just thought you might care about whether she makes it back to town alive or not.”
“Shit.” That’s all the sheriff spared for him before the line went dead. Jace swallowed, closing his own phone as he told himself Amanda wasn’t Sharon. She wouldn’t die today. She wouldn’t be crying so hard she veered into oncoming traffic and put an end to her life. No, Amanda would never be suicidal.
But she could commit murder and what he’d seen her eyes made Jace think all of them would be at the top of her list. Everything seemed to have spun so out of control in the matter of only a day. Tired and defeated, Jace headed back for the house. When Knox got home, they’d mount a united front and go after Amanda. It could all be worked out. It had to be.
The second Jace cleared the back door, he felt it. Seeped in around the corners of the bright sunlight flooding through the windows, darkness lingered. Like a tense ghost, he could almost hear the angry whispers whirling around him. Something catastrophic had happened in this house. Something so bad the pain and anger still clung to the air.
Cold and detached. This wasn’t the remnants of Cody’s confession. No, Jace’s mind picked up the scent of a mystery. Amanda wasn’t one to hold anger in and snap later. If she’d gone cold on Cody, she’d have stayed frozen until somebody made her snap.
Somebody or something. All his brothers were out of the house and Lydia took Saturdays off. So what set her off? Stepping into the living room, his eyes swept over everything coming to lock in on the door at the very end of the hall. Sharon’s door was open. Dread made the air go cold around him as it sucked him into its web and lured him mesmerized down the hall.
Did Amanda go in there? Even as he approached, he could hear the gentle humm
ing coming from inside and it made his skin crawl. So did the sight that stalled him out as he passed Knox’s room. Jace stared at wreckage. Amanda had tossed Knox’s room once before, but nothing like this.
The rays of sunlight caught and glinted on tiny shards littered over the mess like confetti. Shattered pieces of DVD’s were everywhere along with the fragments of a wooden box. Jace knew just what box that was and what images had been recorded onto those disks. The hard knot in his stomach froze over, dropping under the weight of ice.
All those discs happened before Amanda. That justification rang hollow when he knew it must have hurt her just the same. And why the hell had Knox kept them?
“Oh, Jace.” Lydia’s bright and cheery tone seemed out of place in the moment, and he turned to find her grinning. “I didn’t realize you would be home today.”
“What happened?”
“Pardon me?” Lydia bustled into the hall, closing the door to Sharon’s room behind her.
“With Amanda? What happened here?”
“Amanda?” Lydia looked quite shocked by his question even though he knew she could clearly see into Knox’s room. “I don’t know what you are referring to. I just came to return something to Sharon’s room. I didn’t see Amanda. I mean I heard her moving about in the office, but…”
The office…the lists! Jace turned and ran for them and there they were, laid out across the desk. Dumped like they had been discarded in a rush except there was a post-it note laying on top. Jace picked it up staring at the words scrawled in aggressive script across the pink paper.
Don’t ever contact me again. Amanda didn’t mean it, Jace told himself.
* * * *
Tony didn’t waste time heading for the door. Over his shoulder he ordered the deputy at the main desk to tell the boys on patrol to be on the lookout for Amanda’s car. He wanted her pulled over and neutralized because the last thing Tony would do today would be clean up a wreck his friend got hurt in.
He tried her on his cell as he lumbered into his Bronco, intending to intercept her coming down the highway. It shocked him when she actually answered and calmly.
Kansas Heat Page 44