He was a ruthless killer and she held him literally in the palm of her hand.
It was impossible not to just take everything she was offering. The suction of her mouth grew stronger, the pressure building at the base of his spine coiling like a spring. He was seconds from losing it when that lone brain cell kicked in and he pulled her gently off him.
“But...”
He pressed his finger to her swollen lips. “Not yet.”
She nipped his finger.
He stripped the nightshirt over her head and lay beside her on the bed, tracing the rosy circle of her nipples. “What do you like, Mallory?”
Her gaze turned curious. “What do you mean?”
“Obviously you know what works for me.” Her in the same room seemed to be enough to get him hard. “What works for you?” He nuzzled her ear.
“I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before. The usual—you inside me.” She laughed and the sparkle of it punched him in the gut. She traced his scarred eyebrow with her index finger. “Believe it or not, I’m not that experienced at sexual encounters.”
The temperature shot up twenty degrees. He kissed her slowly, teasing nibbles until she relaxed beneath him. His tongue traced the lobe of her ear. “Anything you’d like to try?”
Her eyes went wide. “I don’t even know. I don’t think I’m into kink if that’s your thing. The idea of pain and bondage really doesn’t do it for me.” She glanced at his scars just visible in the dawn light.
“I didn’t get these from sex games, Mallory.” It was the first time he’d been amused by his scars.
“You said you got some of them in Afghanistan.” She hesitated. “How?”
“I was tortured.” Christ. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Because, all she had to do was ask him the right question and he may as well go home and blow his brains out.
His heart gave a little tumble at the sadness he saw on her face, sadness for him. No one had cared in a long time. Unable to resist he kissed her deeper, holding her chin. He wanted to touch every part of her, to give her pleasure and make her forget the world. He palmed her breast, flicked a calloused thumb over the hard pink tip until she arched against him.
“You like that? Tell me what else you like.”
Her fingers sank into his hair. “Only if you do the same.”
The thought of Mallory trying to please him made him feel humble and unworthy and as aroused as hell. “You first,” he said gruffly.
“Let’s stay in bed all weekend having sex.”
A weekend to explore Mallory’s sexual boundaries—although he already knew she’d teach him more than he’d ever teach her. Sure he could show her new positions, but she’d already taught him how to feel again. That should have been impossible—like a man with a severed spine relearning how to walk.
“You’re trying to kill me.” He drew one nipple into his mouth, using his tongue on her sensitive skin until she gripped the sheets tightly in her hands.
“It would be a hell of a way to go.”
He reared back and smiled into her eyes. “I’m not even any good,” he warned. “Last time you were too drunk to notice but you didn’t even come—”
“Liar.” She gripped his face in her hands and pulled him down for a kiss. “I wasn’t that drunk, and if you’re that bothered by your performance you can make it up to me now.” The laughter in her amber eyes sucker-punched his heart.
“You don’t even know me.” His voice was an ugly rasp.
She touched his cheek. “I want to know you.”
He slid over her and into her, freezing against the fierce pleasure of skin on skin contact. Christ, she was so wet and ready for him he wanted to just pound home.
He withdrew and grabbed a condom from the drawer. “You make me forget. Everything.” He couldn’t afford to let his guard down but surely one weekend with Mallory wouldn’t hurt? It would give the feds time to process the evidence and maybe find the bastard who was taunting her. She sure as hell needed the escape more than he did.
He covered himself and slid deep into her heat. He captured both hands and held them above her head as he thrust into her hot willing body. He never let go of those hands or those pretty eyes as he ground against her harder and she groaned and moved with him, taking him as deep as he could get.
And it was in that exact moment that he knew he was completely fucked. Having sex with this woman unmade him. Mallory ripped him apart, gutted, stripped him to bones and blood. Made him think he could be anything he wanted to be.
Maybe he was having a breakdown. Maybe he was going insane. All he knew for sure was she’d completely destroyed whoever the hell Alex Parker was supposed to be. All the new Alex Parker cared about was her pleasure, her well-being. Everyone else on the planet, including himself, could go to hell.
***
Mallory awoke with a start. She’d had the dream again. She was trapped in a small space, terrified someone was searching for her, but unable to move and confront them and unable to run away. Sweat beaded on her upper lip though the room was cool. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears as she tried to control her breathing.
Realizing she wasn’t alone in bed she looked over to where Alex lay sleeping. His face was relaxed and younger-looking than when he was awake and aware. After spending most of the night driving her insane, he had to be exhausted. A warm feeling replaced the terror of the dream. Something about him really got to her and she didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was because she’d had to work so hard to get him into bed or the fact he was so damn thorough once he got there.
Actually sex was a bonus.
He treated her like she mattered. Like what she thought mattered. After years of people assuming they knew her because of what had happened to her family, it was great to have someone pay attention to what she said and thought.
Mallory slipped quietly out of the covers and grabbed her robe. She got herself a glass of water, and checked her laptop, which was set up in a corner of the living room. Nothing from Frazer. She knew she needed to tell her parents about this development with the pajamas but Frazer had suggested waiting to see if the lab found anything before raising their hopes.
He was right. They’d been through enough hell.
She pulled out the files on her sister’s case. To anyone else the photograph on the first page looked like a young Mallory, but the nose was too straight, the eyes slightly too large. She touched the old image; a school portrait where they’d both been forced to wear identical blue dresses, hair in matching pigtails at their mother’s insistence. But Mallory had rebelled at school and by the time the photographer got hold of her, her hair had grass in it and was down around her shoulders.
Payton had been the good girl. The obedient child. Mallory had been the troublemaker, the imp, the pain in the ass. Some things hadn’t changed.
A lump expanded in her throat. No matter how she tried to be objective about her sister’s case it was impossible. What the hell good could she do if she couldn’t even get past the first page without weeping?
“Hey.”
The papers went flying. “Oh, God. You startled me,” she told Alex.
“Not used to having strange men in your apartment?” His eyes twinkled. He’d pulled on jeans and a T-shirt but his feet were bare. Sexy feet.
“Not used to having anyone in my space, period.”
A slight smile touched that gorgeous mouth. “Me either.” He squatted down to the floor while her heart did somersaults in her chest. One look at that smile and she knew she’d fallen for him. This wasn’t good.
“What are these?” He frowned at the photograph and papers. Rubbed a thumb over the image. “Your sister’s case file?” He looked up.
“A copy.” She nodded. Too upset with herself to speak.
He read some of the file. “So the thing you wanted to forget the other week was the anniversary of her disappearance?”
“Eighteen years.” Her throat was raw with suppressed em
otion.
He straightened the pages and put them neatly back in the file. “Is she the reason you became a fed?”
How many times had she answered that question recently? And every time it made her feel like more and more of a failure. She took the file from his hands and laid it on the desk. “I’ve been looking into Payton’s disappearance on my days off, but I haven’t gotten any further than the officials did back then.”
He took her hands in his. The warmth of his skin seeped into her fingers. She hadn’t realized how cold she was until she touched him. There was something in his eyes that made her want to tell him everything.
“Is she the reason you don’t date?” Those eyes of his bore into hers, demanding answers.
“No.” Except the word felt like a lie. “Maybe,” she finally admitted. “I don’t have time to date. I spend all my spare time trying to figure out what happened.”
“She wouldn’t have wanted you to give up your life for her.”
Was that what she’d done? Given up her life? It didn’t feel like it but maybe Alex was right. But how could she carry on as normal when her twin had been kidnapped? How could she move on as though it never happened?
She shook her head. “I can’t get over the guilt of not saving her...” Dark, brooding thoughts pressed down on her from all sides. She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her.
“You were a child. There was nothing you could do.”
Her eyes moistened and she had to clamp down on the emotion that wanted to drive her to her knees. “She was nine years old, Alex. She was my sister. My best friend—” Her voice cracked. Too much heartbreak. Too much pain.
Alex pulled her to him, spoke into her hair. “You can’t change what happened. And you can’t let that asshole ruin your life too.”
But she wanted so badly to catch this guy. She couldn’t let it go, especially now, with new clues turning up. She leaned back in his arms and looked into his eyes. “My life isn’t going to be normal until this killer is either dead or in jail. It might not be healthy or sane but I can’t just flip a switch and pretend it never happened. I don’t have a lot of time for dinners and movies so you might do better looking for a nice normal woman to date.”
“What would I do with a normal woman?” He kissed her brow, making her feel like he understood her down to her bones. “Anyway, I already told you, your no dating rules work for me.”
“Funny.”
“Sexy,” he corrected.
Laughter bubbled through her, bursting the melancholy. “You made me fall off the wagon.”
“Glad to be of service.” He held her gaze. He still smelled great, but combined with bed-head the whole package made her want to spend the weekend under the covers wearing him out. And that’s what she’d promised him last night. But knowing her sister’s killer was out there somewhere drove her crazy. The idea that she was having fun while Payton was dead made the guilt pile higher...but Payton would still be dead if Mallory was miserable and that was just as hard to deal with.
“Mallory.” His voice was patient. More patient than she deserved. “I can see you backing away and having a million regrets, but I’m not going anywhere until this guy is caught. We don’t have to fuck each other’s brains out”—the look in his eyes made her shiver—“but I meant what I said last night. You’re in possible danger staying here alone. This guy knows where you live. As a security expert you have to trust me on this.”
She squeezed his fingers. “Thanks for being there for me last night.”
The light in his eyes changed and he looked away. “I’ll always be there for you, Mallory, but I need you to know something else. I’m not good at relationships. I fuck them up. I let people down. And I don’t want to hurt you.”
A twinge of regret shot through her chest, but it was tempered by experience. She didn’t need worthless promises. She’d rather have unstable truth. No one knew what the future held and only money was bankable and even that could get stolen. She looked at her sister’s file. “We all let people down.” An idea struck her. “Hey, maybe I should hire your company.”
“What for?”
“Finding out information. Your company must use hackers.”
He tilted his head. “Nothing illegal unless the government asks us to break in.”
“They ask you to break in?”
“It’s usually a choice between us and the Chinese, so yeah, they ask us. Pay us for the privilege even—double when we breach their security undetected.” His grin suggested his firm had done it more than once.
“Then digging up phone records from eighteen years ago should be a piece of cake?”
He backed away a step and she didn’t blame him. “Except it’s illegal and you work for the FBI.”
Mallory bit her lip. “I know. But all legal avenues have been exhausted. Now the only things I have left are invading people’s privacy.” Except for those old news articles about stolen children. It hadn’t escaped her mind that the box of printouts might have come from the same person who’d sent the pajamas. But that had been addressed to her work, not her home, and none of the stories had thrown up any definite links yet. Anyway, she’d handled the information repeatedly and it was probably useless forensically. “I’m hitting brick wall after brick wall.”
“Is this all you do with your time off?”
She looked up and met those smoky eyes. “Pretty much.” One side of her mouth pulled back. “Exciting, huh?”
“When was the last time you took a day for yourself?”
Her fingers gripped the file hard enough to bend the cardboard. “When I go on vacation I can’t stop thinking about her. About what might have happened to her.”
He closed her laptop, grabbed her hand. “You need to step away from this before it completely takes over your life.”
“I think that horse already bolted. I wouldn’t know what else to do with myself—”
He kissed her. Hard. Deep. When he released her mouth she was trembling.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to spend the weekend with me?”
“I did—I do.” She glanced at her sister’s file and the familiar guilt crept into her brain.
“Good.” Tugging on her arm he dragged her to the bathroom and turned on the shower. “We’re both going to take one weekend and pretend to be normal people.” He slipped the robe down her shoulders.
“But—”
He gripped her robe tight around her upper arms, trapping her, and kissed her again. Hunger for him rose up inside her and her lips followed his when he pulled back.
“Your sister wouldn’t resent you one weekend of living your life, Mal. If she was anything like you she’d want to you to be happy.”
He stripped off his shirt, shucked his jeans and lifted her into the tub like she weighed nothing at all. When she was wet all over and begging him to take her, a tiny portion of her brain finally realized it was okay to just forget for a little while.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Twenty-four hours later, Alex gripped Mallory’s hand as he pulled her toward her front door. “We’re going even if I have to drag you all the way there.” The irony didn’t escape him. He preferred his own company and was a workaholic, but he’d rather spend the afternoon strolling around DC with Mallory than anything else he could think of.
Since he’d got out of jail he’d found a new appreciation for fresh air and walking. After nearly thirty-six hours of being cooped up he needed to be outside, to get Mallory out of the apartment and into the real world again. Maybe he could be good for her, short term.
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, but she laughed too. The sound went straight to his heart. He didn’t know the last time he’d enjoyed being with another person; of connecting with someone and taking pleasure in their company. He was setting himself up for disaster but the more time he spent with her, the more he was determined to do his damnedest to coax her away from the obsession with her sister’s case. Catching the bastard would be the most ef
fective scenario. He hoped the FBI lab had found something useful on that new evidence.
“We’ll grab you some groceries on the way home.” Her cupboards were empty except for ketchup, some tins of soup and a box of stale crackers. “Even the mice moved out in disgust.”
“Watch out, Mr. Parker. I’ll start to think you care.”
“I do care.” That admission felt foreign on his lips but like he told her yesterday, it was true. He pulled her to him and kissed her deep and turned it into something light. “I need to keep up my strength around you.”
She pressed against him and he couldn’t believe he was growing hard again. She’d turned him into a walking hard-on and frankly his lack of control was starting to piss him off. He wasn’t a randy teenager. He was thirty-four and she was driving him crazy.
“We could order pizza,” she whispered against his lips.
“We’re going out to get some fresh air, otherwise I’ll start to think you’re ashamed to be seen in public with me.” A thick wedge of emotion lodged at the back of his throat.
One side of her mouth kicked up and she said with perfect seriousness. “Alex, you’re built, gorgeous, and wealthy—the perfect man—and no one has ever taken care of me the way you have. Why would anyone ever be ashamed of you?”
Because I kill people? Because he took out human targets the same way most people swatted a fly? He looked away. The truth was dark and repulsive and unfortunately real. Well, she wasn’t going to know the truth. It would hurt her and then she’d bust his ass. Not going to happen. He was being as honest as any covert operative could afford to be.
He couldn’t take a weapon where they were headed but he didn’t think this asshole would go for a direct confrontation when Mallory had company. Alex was pretty sure, between the two of them, he and Mallory could handle most threats. He opened the door and stopped dead. Except this one.
The shock on the woman’s face made it almost worthwhile being discovered. Until she turned that disappointed gaze on Mallory.
“Mom,” said Mallory.
01 A Cold Dark Place Page 15