"It's for fun mostly, but I'll be running a marathon in October."
She stopped dead. "Seriously? That's amazing. I've biked twenty-six miles but I can't imagine running it. How'd you get into it?"
I told her as we walked, and told her a little about Andrew too, and she listened and made comments and clearly cared about what I was saying.
How come my supposed best friend Amanda still hadn't managed that?
Chapter Nineteen
"And last, but certainly not least, our graduation committee." Colette beamed at me. "Megan, I don't know how you managed it, but you outdid yourself from last year. Graduation really was beautiful. Let's have a big hand for Megan and her committee members Amanda and Veronica."
My fellow teachers around our staffroom table applauded, and I stood up to accept my committee leader gift from Colette and hoped my expression didn't show how little assistance I'd received yesterday from my so-called committee members.
Amanda, far from being extra-helpful the day of grad as she'd promised, had in fact done absolutely nothing. She'd been told that morning that since she hadn't handed in her report cards two days ago as she was supposed to the office would not be photocopying them for her and she'd have to do it herself, so she'd plunked her kids down in front of a movie and somehow managed to keep herself busy all day photocopying and folding and stuffing envelopes with her twenty-six report cards. I hadn't had time to tell her off for it but I'd been infuriated with her, and with Veronica too who simply responded to any request I made with, "Sorry, I need to pack up my room." I'd ended up nearly begging for her assistance, which left me feeling humiliated and ashamed that I couldn't handle everything alone, but still she'd refused. If it hadn't been for--
Colette handed me a large triple picture frame. "I gave you my favorite photos from last night but of course you can replace them if you'd like."
I skimmed the pictures she'd chosen. Me standing on stage introducing the valedictorian, who the grade eight teacher had indeed selected on time. I looked calm and relaxed, although that might just have been by comparison with the clearly terrified boy about to give his speech. The guest speaker, the hockey player Theo had helped me find, in mid-presentation with the students watching him awestruck. And our two sweetest grade eight girls crying and hugging me after the ceremony. My head was bent over them so my own tears didn't show, but I knew they'd been there and my throat tightened at the memory.
After clearing it, I said, "I love these ones. Thank you. But I really have to thank Tosca and Theo. Without them grad would have been an awful mess." As the words came out, I thought maybe I'd made it too clear that Amanda and Veronica hadn't been any help, but then decided I didn't care. Neither of them had cared about me yesterday, and I didn't mind if Colette knew it.
Everyone clapped, although I noticed Amanda stopped well before the rest, and Theo shrugged and said, "Nah, you had it under control. But I'm glad I could help a little."
I smiled at him. "More than a little."
I hadn't remotely had it under control. Mid-afternoon I'd realized with horror that I hadn't yet set out the chairs for the parents and families, so I'd dragged my kids down to the gym hoping I could deal with that without them accidentally trashing the decorations I'd hung during my recess and lunch 'breaks'. Instead, I found Theo and his students, older than mine, calmly arranging the seating area for me. "I saw the chairs weren't out yet and I figured my class could move them around a little easier than yours could," he'd said as they began the last row, and I'd nearly cried with relief and exhaustion.
Tosca had found me first thing in the morning, when I arrived from a shorter 'just to relax you' run with Andrew that had indeed helped reduce my stress, and simply said, "Tell me what to do." I tried to put her off, since she wasn't on the committee and didn't have to help, but she insisted, and every time I turned around she was there waiting, and eventually I caved in and showed her my list. She picked off a few jobs, and kept coming back during the day to get more.
Several times I tried to stop her, since I felt awful that she was doing so much for me, but she ignored me, and while the kids would still have graduated without her help it wouldn't have been as warm and comfortable an affair without her taking care of the little touches I'd thought I could do while Amanda decorated the gym.
I pushed Amanda, and Veronica too, from my mind. I was still angry with them both, and especially hurt that Amanda had abandoned me so completely, but the night itself had been a huge success and I didn't want to let their lack of help taint it for me.
Colette gave me a pat on the shoulder and said, "Thanks again."
Recognizing my cue, I returned to my chair as she said, "Now, just one more thing before I let you go finish in your rooms before the summer begins." She pulled a beautiful cobalt blue glass paperweight from the box beside her and said, "Our 'most improved teacher' award. There's no question in my mind who deserves this. While I think all of you have made at least some progress this year one of you has pushed extra hard to excel, and it's working. I'm thrilled to present this to Tosca."
I grinned and Tosca burst into happy tears. She hugged Colette hard as we clapped, then wiped her eyes and said, "It's because of Megan. She helped me so much."
I blushed. "No, it was all your hard work."
She had worked hard: she'd reviewed the notes I'd given her over and over and done repeated practice parent-teacher interviews with me and even one with Colette to see what the principal thought of her interview techniques. I'd been impressed with her effort and initiative, and clearly Colette had too.
Tosca hugged Colette again then returned to her seat, and Colette said, "Well, folks, it's been another amazing year. Veronica, we'll miss you next year but I hope you enjoy your new school." After we all clapped for Veronica, Colette went on. "Please, take some food with you. I always order too much and I'll be eating leftovers for a month at this rate. And have a great summer!"
We clapped far harder for this than we had for Veronica, then everyone got up and began either chatting or gathering up some food to take back to their rooms. The kids' day had ended at noon and they were all off enjoying the start of their summer, so we didn't need to rush.
Amanda muttered to me, "Hard not to improve in your first year, isn't it?"
I turned to stare at her, shocked, and she blushed and said, "I mean, because you work so hard. Because you're new."
She hadn't meant that at all and we both knew it. Tosca had improved far more than the average first-year teacher because of all her effort, but Amanda would never acknowledge that. I didn't want to fight with her, though, especially not in front of everyone else, so I let it go and said, "Have a good summer."
"You too," she said. "But we'll be seeing each other, of course. Oh, and I was thinking of having a pool party in a few weeks."
"You don't have a pool," I pointed out.
She rolled her eyes. "No, but James's parents do. They said we could invite people over." She nudged me. "You should bring that guy you run with. What's his name?"
I sighed inside. I'd mentioned Andrew's name yesterday, when Amanda had seen my paper coffee cup from the café where he and I had had breakfast post-run, and I knew I'd said his name last week when she'd asked why I was reading 'such a weird-looking book', referring to Andrew's book-club choice about a MMA fighter who falls in love with his opponent's sister, and yet she still couldn't remember.
Tosca remembered everything about my running, and had surprised me that morning by shyly asking if I'd be willing to run once with her so she could see if it was for her. I'd said yes immediately, since I wouldn't have gotten close to where I was without Andrew and Jeanine guiding and occasionally pushing me, and once we finished cleaning our rooms we'd be off to buy her some shoes since she didn't own anything she could run in.
Whether or not she ended up being a runner, Tosca was genuinely interested in me and my activities. It felt nice, but weird, especially since my supposed best friend couldn't rem
ember anything I'd told her about my new hobby.
Of course, Amanda and I hadn't talked that much lately, largely because James had been surprisingly decent for a while. She naturally assumed he was busy planning his proposal. I just figured he had temporarily run out of jerky things to do. Regardless, the peace was pleasant, but when Amanda didn't need my help she also didn't seem to bother to talk to me. Or to listen.
"Andrew," I said, trying not to show my annoyance. "His name is Andrew."
"Yeah, that's it," she said as if I'd been the one to forget. "Bring him. And Brandon too. The more fit guys in bathing suits, the better."
If I did bring Andrew, which I wouldn't, especially since there probably would be no pool party because James would be acting up again, I'd make sure he wore an old-fashioned diving suit so she couldn't see any part of him. And how could she think I'd bring my annoying brother?
I didn't say anything, and she didn't seem to notice. She went off to say goodbye to a few people, carefully avoiding Veronica, and I joined Tosca who was chatting with Theo. Watching him watching Tosca as she described how well her parent-teacher interviews had gone, I suspected he liked her as more than a coworker, and her pink cheeks when he complimented her suggested it was mutual. They were both shy, though, and I couldn't imagine they'd be able to get a relationship going.
I thanked Theo again for his help with grad, and he again brushed me off, then Tosca and I left and headed up the hall to deal with our rooms.
I was about to ask her about Theo, but before I spoke I found myself wondering why. What would I achieve by asking her? I'd embarrass her no matter how she felt, and I might end up trying to help them get together, which would mean awkward conversations and generally pushing myself into something that was none of my business.
It hit me that if I'd thought a little before first offering to help Amanda work out her problems with James, I'd be far better off. Tosca didn't strike me as the 'lay all your issues on someone else' type that Amanda was, but I still decided not to offer. I felt good about it too. We could be buddies without me trying to rescue her from a situation that might not even be a problem.
Since we'd both done well getting our rooms in shape during the week, after about an hour we were free to leave. As we neared the front door, though, I heard Amanda calling me. The thought of fleeing before she could stop me crossed my mind but of course I couldn't so I turned around.
"I was thinking we should go out for dinner tonight to celebrate the year being over, and to thank you for everything you've done for me. My treat, of course."
I blinked. She'd never offered to treat me before. Plus, I knew that the harder partiers on staff were going out for dinner then drinks tonight and I'd have figured she'd want to be with them. "I would, but I'm running and then having dinner with my parents tonight. Maybe some other time this weekend? Or next week?"
She shrugged. "I'll check and let you know. Have fun with the family. Bummer it's tonight. Wouldn't you rather relax?"
I shrugged back. Yes, I would have, and I'd suggested to Mom that since it was the last day of school perhaps we could do Saturday instead, but Mom had informed me that Brandon preferred Friday and her tone made it clear that we would therefore not be discussing other days.
I chafed at this in a way I hadn't before. I'd always found the 'whatever Brandon says goes' attitude annoying, of course. Who wouldn't? But as my physical strength grew from running so did my emotional strength and I was beginning to feel that my 'never makes waves' role in the family didn't suit me any more. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure they'd be willing to let me take on a different role.
Tosca and I left, and I wondered if Amanda would in fact pick another date or if she'd only offered dinner to get me to do something for her.
*****
After Brandon monopolized most of the dinner conversation by talking about MMA and how hard he'd been working at his training, while I kept to myself the way I'd seen him not working hard and my suspicion that he never trained with Andrew's intensity, Dad asked how my running was going.
"Good, actually. I'm well over an hour now and doing fine. Oh, and I'm doing a race next weekend. The Hero Hike. Just signed up today." Andrew had been wearing its race shirt again that evening, and when I'd asked him about the race as our run finished he'd said he was doing it again this year and raved about its excitement and crazy obstacles until he'd convinced me and Jeanine and one of the MMA guys to sign up too. They were all far faster than me but that meant I'd have a cheering section at the finish line. "I'll have to climb over bales of hay and wade through mud and all sorts of insane things, but Andrew says it's a lot of fun, and it's only a five K so it's not too long."
Mom shook her head and said something about the foolishness of running through mud, but I barely heard her because I'd realized what I said. Only five kilometers. Andrew had promised I'd feel that way eventually but I'd never believed it would happen. He would be delighted for me.
He'd been so sweet as we ran around the track, asking me how grad had gone and really listening to my answers. I'd reluctantly admitted that I hated how Amanda and Veronica had left me in the lurch, and he hadn't called me selfish or a bean counter and had understood how frustrating the situation had been.
So, to my surprise, had Jeanine, when she joined us for the cool-down and also asked about grad. With her obsession with fairness, she'd actually been more upset than me, which had touched me but also confused me since the situation didn't affect her directly so she didn't need to be so outraged. Uncomfortable, I'd scrambled around for a change of topic and Andrew's shirt had given me one.
"Be careful, Megan," Dad said. "Running a race like that in July? Won't it be really hot?"
I nodded. "I'll make sure I have water with me, though. It'll be okay."
"Glad to hear it."
Kim jumped in before I could respond. "So I talked to Ross, the skydiving instructor. I told him all about my health stuff and everything." She was talking so fast I could barely understand her, and I realized she'd probably been trying to gear herself up for this throughout the meal. "He says I'll be safe and he'll take care of me so I am going to do it. In October."
Mom stared at her. "You promised you wouldn't."
Nobody spoke, and only Brandon moved, to fork up the last piece of barbecued chicken, until Kim said softly, "I know. But I'm going to do it."
Her defiance surprised me, and it must have surprised Mom too because she didn't seem to have a response. All she did was shake her head sadly and pick at her food, and the silence wasn't broken until Dad said, "Who'll clear the table so we can have dessert?"
Kim and I did. Brandon of course didn't budge, and Mom seemed too devastated to move.
Once the dessert had been eaten, in an awkward silence, my parents went outside to chat with a neighbor who'd brought over vegetables from her garden, leaving Kim and me to wash the dishes. Brandon didn't help, naturally. Instead, he sat at the kitchen table eating his second dessert and being annoying by his very presence.
I'd wanted seconds of dessert, since Mom's chocolate pie was amazing, but there'd only been enough for one more serving and once Brandon laid claim to it that was the end of the discussion, so I'd settled for a few Oreo cookies. Brandon's plunking his plate into the sink so it splashed Kim with soapy water was aggravating enough, but when he reached for one of my Oreos, the cookies I only had because he'd had the pie, I couldn't stand it any more. I took a deep breath, trying to pull up the calm confidence I often felt while running, then moved the plate away and said, "No. Get your own."
"Dad's got the bag outside."
He reached out again, and I smacked his hand. "I said no."
He stared at me, not so much angry or annoyed as shocked. "I'll tell Mom."
"Go outside and tell, then. And while you're there, get your own cookies." I couldn't believe I was saying this but I wasn't going to stop. I'd never once been able to shut him down but this time I would make it happen.
He h
eld my gaze another moment, then must have realized that I'd reached my limit. "Fine, whatever. You eat 'em and get fat. I don't care."
He left the kitchen and delight flooded me. I had done it. For the first time in my life, I'd refused my brother something and made it stick.
"If you want a cookie you're welcome to it," I told Kim, wanting to celebrate with her.
She smiled but shook her head. "I'm stuffed from dinner. But good job. I know that's not easy."
I blinked. "You do?"
"I'm not an idiot, Megan. I know he picks on you way more than on me." She grimaced. "One good thing from my health disasters."
"It's good there's one, right? Better than none."
I expected her to agree but instead she sighed. "I'd take no disasters though, in a second. I hate being treated like I'm a glass vase with a crack in it."
Considering that Mom and Brandon seemed to see me as a lump of concrete with no emotions, I wasn't sure she had the worst end of the deal, but I did understand what she meant. "She's just worried about you skydiving."
"What do you think about it?" She was trying for nonchalance but she didn't get there. "Do you also think it's the worst idea ever?"
"There have probably been worse ideas." I wished I could avoid this, since I knew she was desperate for at least one family member to support her, but I had to be honest. "I'm scared, though, for you. It's hard on the heart for..." I wanted to say 'normal people' but I couldn't. But I also couldn't find a better term.
She gave a disgusted snort. "You're as bad as they are. Ross says I'll be fine."
"But he's not a doctor, is he?"
"No," she admitted, then rallied. "But my sternum is healed now, and most of the doctors also think it'll be fine."
"Most?"
She flushed, and I realized she'd said more than she'd intended. "One thinks it's too risky. The others are okay but-- don't tell Mom. Please."
If Kim died skydiving I'd never get over giving her my blessing, but I also couldn't sic Mom on her. "I won't. But really think about this, okay? It's just so dangerous."
Toronto Collection Volume 2 (Toronto Series #6-9) Page 55