Mark looked at Wendy for a moment, then said, "Would you guys forgive me if I swept my brand-new fiancée off for dinner by ourselves?"
She said, "Just me and you?" in a disgusted tone, but the way she cuddled into him made it clear she didn't mean it.
We, of course, said that was fine, and Wendy gave me a glowing smile and said, "We'll talk tomorrow. Oh, and Stephanie and her Rob are going on an excursion with me and Mark tomorrow at nine in the morning. You should too. And if anyone else wants to come, they're welcome. Snorkeling. Did I say that already? I'm all mixed up."
Mark tightened his arm around her and we all smiled.
They left, and I tried to remember if I'd been as deliriously excited when I'd gotten engaged.
Owen wrapped his arm around me again. "That's great. Now you and Wendy can be all giddy about both your weddings instead of just ours."
I smiled, but it wasn't easy.
*****
After dinner, I walked alone along the observation deck. The night was cool, but my shawl kept me comfortable, and the view was so lovely I'd have stayed out even if I did feel cold.
Besides, I had nowhere else to be.
Near the end of dinner, the guy who'd beaten Owen at the poker tournament dropped by our table and suggested they have a rematch that night. Owen didn't so much as glance at me before agreeing, and it wasn't until his mother said pointedly, "And what will you be doing, Mel?" that he realized he'd again cut me out of his plans.
Feeling pathetic, and worse because Austin and Nicholas and even my mom were watching, I'd raised my chin and said, "I'm fine. I'm going to check out the ship, top to bottom."
I had done that, after we scattered post-dinner, toured the few areas I hadn't already seen, and now I'd returned to the top deck and was studying the ocean and wondering what I was going to do.
And whether I needed to do anything.
Sure, Owen's gambling was a surprise. But he only did it on the ship, so when we went home, after we were married, everything would be fine. He was still the same guy I'd fallen in love with.
So in less than two weeks the problem would be solved, which meant I didn't have to do anything. But I felt like I did.
Everything just felt weird.
I tightened my shawl around my shoulders, more for comfort than for warmth. Of course it did. I'd spent my morning with one of my exes and my afternoon with another, and eaten dinner with both of them plus my fiancé. How could that not feel weird?
I paused at the railing by one end of the ship, in a secluded alcove where the breeze couldn't reach me, and stared out at the rippling water. No land anywhere. There were no people in sight along the railing either. I felt completely alone.
"Mel."
I startled and turned to see Austin standing a few feet behind me. Our eyes caught and held, and he moved toward me without looking away.
"How long have you been following me?" I tried to make it a joke, since the connection between us felt too strong for safety, but even to my ears my voice sounded weak and wobbly.
I cleared my throat and prepared to try again, but before I could he said, "I was looking for you."
"Oh?"
He stood next to me now, too close. I shifted slightly to get away from him but that just put me more into the corner. If someone walked by now, they might not even notice us.
His eyes glowed as he looked at me. "I meant what I said today."
He'd said lots of things, most too ridiculous to believe, so I stood and waited for him to explain himself.
His mouth quirked into a smile. "You don't remember."
"I don't know what specifically I'm supposed to remember."
He moved closer and I caught a hint of cologne, dark and rich and sexy. I hadn't smelled it on him when he sat next to me at dinner; had he freshened up before coming to find me?
He took gentle but firm hold of my shoulder. "I said you're the perfect woman."
My heart skipped a beat, lurching in my chest, and I stared at him.
His free hand found my other shoulder. "Remember the slide, Mel?"
I did, in exquisite detail, but felt sure I'd regret admitting it. "Where? I didn't see one today."
He moved closer again. "Back when we were together. I've never forgotten that night." His eyes blazed into mine. "I never forgot you."
"You forgot my name," I said, trying to keep control of myself and the conversation.
He waved this off. "I knew you, though. As soon as I saw you, I could feel my hands gripping the edges of that playground slide."
With those words I was there, half-naked in the cool dark night, pinned beneath him gasping with pleasure as he pulled against the slide so he could drive deeper into me.
My eyes tried to close as memories and heat flooded me, but I forced them open and made myself shift away from him. "I'm marrying your brother in less than two weeks."
"I'm not going to stop you."
Confused, my body pounding with unwanted but intense hunger, I said, "What?"
"Marry Owen." He brushed his fingers gently over my cheek. "Go nuts." His hand grazed my collarbone. "But have fun first. With me."
I stared at him, trying to get my head around this. "You're suggesting I should... we should..."
He moved closer still, so his chest was pressed lightly against mine, an echo of how we'd been on the slide. "I'll make this cruise the best time you've ever had. Then you can go off and marry Owen and it'll be nothing but a memory. Like the slide." He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "You do remember the slide, don't you."
It wasn't a question, and of course he was right. Every cell of my body remembered the slide and the urge to feel him on me, in me, again was almost overwhelming.
Almost.
I took a deep breath, which didn't help much because his cologne dizzied me, then took hold of his shoulders and pushed him back. "No. Not a chance. You said I was off-limits and you were right. I'm marrying Owen and I won't cheat on him."
"He treats you like you've been married fifty years. Sixty even. How can you live that kind of boring passionless life once you're married without some good memories to keep you going?"
"It's not passionless!"
His eyes smoldered. "But it's not like the slide. Right? We had something you've never had with him."
Admitting it would be awful to Owen and give Austin ammunition, but denying it... I couldn't deny it. Owen and I were fine in bed but nothing like the slide. I hated Austin for making me recognize it, and I couldn't find anything to say.
"You're too sexy for that," he said, again brushing over my collarbone. "I hate the idea of you being stuck with him."
"I'm not stuck. I love him. And he loves me." As I spoke, more words welled up in me. "Unlike you. You only want me now because he's got me, the slide thing wouldn't have happened if I hadn't made out with Jeremy... you make me feel like I'm the only woman on the planet but as soon as you look away you're doing the same thing to someone else."
He didn't deny any of this. Instead, he took my face in both hands and said, "Until your wedding, it'll be all about you. I won't look away."
I knew I had to say no, and of course I wanted to say no, but part of me had lit up at his words. The kind of passionate devotion Mark had for Wendy... Austin was promising me that. Only for a few days, sure, but I didn't think I'd ever had it before and I wanted to know how it felt.
I couldn't get it from Austin, though. Even if I really believed he had it in him to give, I couldn't do it.
I stepped back, drawing my face from his hands. "No."
I turned to go, wanting to be gone before he said anything else, before I weakened, and to my horror looked into a pair of all-too-familiar eyes.
Chapter Fifteen
Austin moved up beside me, chuckling. "Caught in the act. Well, at least it's nobody who matters." He gave my shoulder another squeeze, and I tore my eyes from Nicholas's shocked ones and looked at him as he said, "Let me know if you change your mind, M
el. Offer's always open. Well, until my deadline, anyhow."
Then he winked, not seeming bothered that I'd rejected him, and sauntered off.
I looked back to Nicholas, not sure what to do or say.
He cleared his throat. "What offer exactly?"
I didn't want to tell him, and then suddenly I did want to. Before I could figure out why, I said, "He thinks Owen's too boring for me, so he offered to help me spice things up, let's say, until I get married."
I saw him understand what I meant, saw him hate it. Then he turned from me and stared out at the horizon. "You said no, I assume."
"Of course I did. He's an idiot to think I would. I love Owen." My voice wobbled on "love", since telling Nicholas I loved his brother felt strange. "Austin might be fine with messing around with no strings attached, but I'm not and neither is Owen."
Nicholas nodded, then looked back at me. His eyes were sad and it tugged at my heart. The tug became a mighty pull when he said, "This probably isn't the right time for this, but I really missed you. Not just as a girlfriend, but as a friend."
I couldn't believe he was putting himself forward like this but I loved it, and not only because we weren't talking about Austin any more. "I missed you too."
He turned again to look out at the water, and I joined him. Without looking at me, he said, "I know it's still kind of awkward between us, but do you think we can be friends again? Real friends, I mean?"
"I do," I said, then felt strange about saying that wedding-related line to Nicholas so I added, "I'd like that."
He didn't look at me, but I saw him smile.
We stood side-by-side for a long moment. Being silent with him felt wonderful, but I had a question I wanted to ask and this seemed like it might be the time. "What does Nicole know about me? About you and me, I mean."
He turned to me, confusion in his eyes. "She knows we dated. I'm not sure what you're asking."
I wasn't either, but it felt like I needed to know what he'd told her about me. "Why did you say we broke up?"
He gave me a small sad smile. "I told her we weren't communicating well and it just wasn't working out."
Thinking back over that last argument, me trying to make him commit to marrying me even though I knew that wasn't what I wanted, I had to say, "That's about right."
"When we first saw you in the lounge, she obviously found out we'd dated right there, but she thought it was a lot more... casual than it was. She asked me more after dinner, and I told her."
That explained her coldness to me the next day at the spa but it left me with an even bigger unanswered question. "Told her what?"
His gaze strayed to the horizon again, as if he wanted to turn away from me, but then he looked directly at me, his eyes solemn, and said softly, "I told her I'd thought we'd get married eventually."
"So did I," I whispered, the truth falling from me before I could hold it back. I had. Not when I'd suggested it, but some day.
He did look away then, back at the water. After a moment he said, his voice too cheery, "But now we're going to be friends. Yes?"
"Definitely," I said, hearing the same false cheer in my voice. He was right, though: no point in rehashing the past and what we might have had. I had Owen now and he had Nicole. We could only be friends. Well, why not be great ones? "So, friend, what's your plan for tomorrow? Anything good?"
He turned sideways, resting his elbow on the railing and looking at me. The emotion was gone and he looked friendly and amused. "I thought Nicole would want to go on the snorkeling trip so I signed us up while she was getting her hair done but it turns out she doesn't want to go in the ocean again because it messes up her nail polish."
I laid my freshly manicured hands on the railing. "She's got a point. I just had these redone today."
"Sparkly," he observed.
I saw his eyes dancing with mischief, so gave him the response I knew he wanted in a mock-indignant tone. "Shimmery, not sparkly."
"Potato, potahto."
We grinned at each other and he said, "So I guess you wouldn't want to go snorkeling in her place then?"
"Actually, I would. I'd rather snorkel than worry about my nails." Realizing I'd insulted his girlfriend, I quickly added, "I don't usually bother with nail polish, though. People who do, I know they don't like to see it chipped."
His smile said he'd noticed the dig and appreciated that I hadn't done it deliberately.
"Who else is going on the excursion?" I wanted to know if Austin would be there but I felt weird about asking.
"Wendy said it was her and Mark and Stephanie and Rob, whoever those two are."
He hadn't mentioned Austin. That was a good sign, although not conclusive. "I know Stephanie from the spa. She's nice. Funny. Rob's her fiancé but I haven't met him."
"So if you go, there'll be six of us. Nice even number."
He'd emphasized 'six', and I smiled at him. "You knew I wanted to ask about Austin, didn't you?"
He shrugged, smiling back. "Thought you might prefer not to see him." His smile faded and he shook his head. "I can't believe he came on to you like that. As if you'd even consider it."
I wouldn't have done it, but I had considered it and I didn't like thinking about that. "Well, I said no, and with any luck he'll behave. But yeah, I don't mind not seeing him for a while."
"What's Owen up to? Would he want to come?"
"Since we're not docking tomorrow, the casino's open. I assume he'll be there. Haven't asked, though. Haven't seen him to ask."
Nicholas looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know where to start.
"No, really, it's fine," I said, hoping I was right. "Once we get home, everything will go back to normal."
"I'm sure you're right," he said, and his calm tone soothed me.
Yes, I was right. We weren't boring, as Austin had claimed. We were steady and stable. And that was a million times better than anything Austin could offer me.
Chapter Sixteen
As predicted, Owen didn't want to leave the pleasures of the casino the next day to go snorkeling. I saw him for only a few minutes that morning, when I woke him up before I left. He was barely coherent since he'd been in the casino until four, and no matter what I said he didn't seem able to understand why I'd been bothered by the previous day's events.
In the end, I gave up and told him I was going to be late for my excursion if I didn't leave, and he sat up to kiss my cheek and tell me to have fun then was snoring again before I closed the door behind me.
In the hall on the way to the pier, I made myself shake it off. I wanted to have a good day. Owen and I were just into different things. No reason to be upset. Like I'd told Nicholas, we'd be fine when we got home.
Fortunately, Stephanie and her fiancé Rob and Wendy and Mark and Nicholas were all in great moods and theirs cheered mine up, so it was soon a party. A party of six. Two engaged couples and me and my new-found old friend.
Nicholas and I had hung out for ages the night before, roaming around the observation deck and even braving the quiet pool once we'd seen that the shusher wasn't around, talking about movies and books and our jobs and anything else that came to mind. We didn't have a silence that lasted more than a second or two, and by the time he said, "Early start tomorrow, we should probably call it a night," we were truly friends again. The tension between us was gone, and I liked it.
I hadn't realized it was noticeable, though, until Wendy pulled me aside 'to help her with her flippers' and said, "So, you guys look cozy."
I blinked. "Me and Nicholas? We're friends again, that's all."
She tipped her head to one side, a faint frown drawing her eyebrows together. "Did I say you were more than friends? I just meant it's nice to see. He's sweet, and you're not too bad yourself, and I didn't like you being so awkward with each other."
I felt my cheeks growing warm as she spoke. "Oh. Well. Me neither. But that's done now."
"Good." She leaned closer and said, "I must admit, I'd far
rather have you here than Nicole."
Nicholas had given me the impression that Nicole hadn't wanted to stay long at the beach after Austin and I left, but before he'd arrived this morning Wendy had filled me in on how Nicole had turned sulky the moment Austin was out of sight and had generally made their last two hours on the beach a nightmare. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. I promise not to whine that Austin's not here. Trust me."
Her eyebrows went up, and I gave her a quick rundown on his indecent proposal.
She shook her head. "That guy. Well, it's a pretty big ship. You can avoid him most of the time and he's not likely to hit on you at dinner in front of your moms." She gave me a wry smile. "Not too likely, anyhow."
We laughed and headed back to the group.
The water was again cooler than I'd have liked, but this time I was prepared. I'd brought a short-sleeved zip-front sweatshirt and my long soft purple skirt to wear over my swimsuit, and knowing I had them to snuggle into when I got out of the ocean somehow made me feel warmer while I was in it.
We got a quick lesson on how to snorkel from our tour guide, then a better one from Nicholas, who'd come on this trip fifteen years in a row, and then we were off and cruising around staring down into the water at the wonders below. I had difficulty making myself breathe with my face underwater at first, since it seemed so weird and unnatural, but after a few minutes my brain accepted that I wasn't killing myself and I relaxed into the amazing sights.
The wrecked ship below us was apparently one of the top diving sites in the Caribbean, and I could see why. Fish flitted in and out of the holes in the boat, which had been sunk in World War II to keep enemies from getting their hands on it, and I'd never imagined such vibrant colors, screaming yellow and bright pink and a cobalt so pure and deep it almost made me think the fish must be fake.
Nicholas, since he knew the area so well, was our unofficial leader, and we followed him and looked where he directed and pointed out interesting sights of our own. I'd thought the horseback riding in the ocean would be the highlight of the trip, but it was getting some stiff competition today.
Toronto Collection Volume 2 (Toronto Series #6-9) Page 76