*****
As we finished what we'd decided would be our last drinks, Rob said to Nicholas, "We found out after dinner that the excursion we booked for tomorrow got cancelled. Got any recommendations for a replacement?"
"Depends on what you're into," he said.
Rob snickered and Stephanie elbowed him, shaking her head. "Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to know what you're into if it makes you giggle like that. Try to ignore the immaturity, Nicholas."
"I'll try." He smiled at her. "Well, we'll be at anchor at Dominica, and they have a good bus tour that ends at the main shopping district. Some great jewelry shops, and my mom's bought lots of gorgeous silk scarves there too."
"I'd love to go check that out," Nicole said.
"Wait for it," Mark murmured, flicking a look at Wendy.
Since my friend had the best jewelry collection I'd ever seen, I knew what he meant, and sure enough she rolled her eyes but admitted, "Me too. I'd love a new necklace or something." She flashed her engagement ring at Mark. "Not that I'm not happy with the jewelry I've already got on the trip."
He laughed. "Good to know."
Stephanie also liked the idea of shopping, and I wasn't opposed to a little retail therapy either, so Nicholas said, "There's a beach, of course, so if any of us get tired of spending money that's always an option. I haven't done the donkey-riding tour but Austin did it last year and we could ask him what he thought."
Austin had been at dinner with us that night but had mercifully left me alone. Instead, he'd been flirting with Nicole, although from what I knew of him it had been merely to pass the time rather than because he was actually interested in her. I didn't think she knew that, though, and when I glanced at her and saw a blush rising in her cheeks at the mention of his name I felt sure of it. I hoped Austin wouldn't make a move on her; she might go for it and that would be so cruel to Nicholas.
"I spend enough time with an ass, I think I'll pass."
Rob slid his arm around Stephanie's shoulders. "You're a poet. So smart and so pretty too, how did a loser like me get someone like you?"
We laughed at Rob's 'poem', and Stephanie shrugged without dislodging his arm. "Every day I ask myself the same question."
After a little more debate, we decided to skip the official excursion and meet at ten in the morning to go to the shopping district on our own.
"After that we can see if we want to stay together or split up into couples."
Owen stiffened beside me when Nicholas said that and I felt my heart sink. I'd be a third wheel yet again.
"Well, see you guys then," Rob said. "I need my beauty sleep."
We all looked to Stephanie. She laughed and said, "That's just too easy a target. You guys make up your own insult. I'm done for the day."
They left, and Wendy said to me, "Will we meet you at the pier or should we come by your stateroom?"
"Pier's fine," I said, smiling because I knew she was trying to tell me she was fine with me hanging out with them and I appreciated it.
She smiled back and walked away holding hands with Mark.
Owen pushed his chair back. "Mel, I'll see you later. Nice to see you, Nicky, Nicole."
I didn't see if they nodded in reply. I was too busy staring at Owen. "You're going back to the casino now? It's after ten. And I assume you'll be there tomorrow? All day?"
His eyes flicked toward the other two. "I've already signed up for a tournament. The day before is too late for me to make plans with you."
I felt like he'd slapped me. The air was gone from my lungs and I couldn't seem to take a breath to replace it.
"We're... good night," Nicholas said, and I heard their chairs scrape back and their feet hurry away.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that," Owen said before I could speak. "It's just that I book these tournaments when they get announced."
I still couldn't breathe properly, but I managed to say, "Don't you want to spend any time with me?"
His face softened and he took my hand. "Of course I do. Mel, come on. I love you. I just... look, I only gamble on the cruise, you know? And I don't want to miss any time."
I looked down at our joined hands. "I haven't fallen asleep with you even once. I miss you."
He leaned in and kissed my neck. "I miss you too. Why don't we go back to our room and I'll show you?"
I hadn't meant I missed him for sex, but now that he mentioned it I did. "You won't leave after and go to the casino?"
He chuckled, not seeming to realize I was serious. "I'm hoping you'll tire me out too much for that."
We returned to our stateroom, and we did make love, but as I finally got to fall asleep in his arms I couldn't stop myself thinking that he shouldn't want to leave regardless of whether I tired him out.
Chapter Eighteen
If it had been Wendy and Mark and Stephanie and Rob and me and Nicholas on the next day's shopping trip, we'd have had a great time. If only Nicole had been added to that group, I might have felt a little left out but I'd still have enjoyed the day. But Nicole brought a bunch of friends with her, all girls she'd met on her frequent visits to the spa. I knew Brandy, who'd be getting married next week, from my first trip there, but the others were new to me. All of them, including Nicole, seemed to want to buy everything they laid eye on, and she was a full participant in their joking fights over who'd get to buy a particular item that seemed more like fights than jokes.
Their bickering had been annoying enough, but Brandy couldn't let go of Owen's absence and she made me crazy with her overwhelming sympathy about it and her advice of how she would 'whip him into shape' if he was hers. "I wouldn't let Brian leave me alone all day like this," she said several times. "You'll have a crappy marriage if he thinks he can do whatever he wants."
Nobody seemed quite sure what to say to this, least of all me, so Brandy was able to keep at me without much interruption. I managed to end up at the opposite end of the lunch table from her, but I could still hear her going on about Brian and how he did exactly as he was told.
Mark said softly, "Who wants to marry a lapdog?" and we laughed, but that was the only bright spot of the trip for me.
After lunch Brandy insisted on going back to the first jewelry store we'd seen so she could buy a silver necklace and have "B&B" engraved on its heart-shaped pendant. "For me and Brian," she said, as if any of us hadn't figured that out. Nicole, not to be outdone, got one of her own engraved with "N&N", after first asking Nicholas if his mom would pay for it.
"Maybe your names are your problem," Brandy said to me as we waited for the necklaces. "They don't go together very well. I'm into name and number significance. Brandy and Brian, Nicole and Nicky. Same first letter, same number of syllables. Melissa and Owen? It doesn't work."
Stephanie pressed a hand to her forehead. "We're doomed, Rob."
"Call me Sammy-Rob or something," he suggested with mock urgency. "It's our only hope."
Brandy rolled her eyes. "Whatever, but the best relationships I know have names that line up."
Nicole looked proud of herself. Nicholas looked into a display of stunning silk shawls I'd been eyeballing before and didn't speak.
Finally, the shopping trip of horrors was over. Mark and Wendy, also doomed but not visibly worried about it, decided to go for a walk along the beach. They were nice enough to invite me but since they'd gotten engaged on a similar walk I didn't want to be in the way of their reliving it so I said, "I think I'll go back and read."
Stephanie and Rob went back to the ship with me, as did Nicholas and Nicole and her crowd of friends. "Sammy-Rob and I have to get our hair trimmed for the wedding," Stephanie said as we walked up the gangway, giving me a 'how stupid is that name thing?' look. "You'll be okay on your own, Melowen?"
I raised my chin and gave her a big smile. "Nice name. And yup, just fine." I would be fine, and even if I wouldn't I didn't want to look pathetic. "I'll hit the quiet pool and relax. It'll be nice."
"Sounds good." She
smiled back, then reached out and hugged me. Surprised, but pleased, I hugged her back as she said, "Drink after dinner?"
"Definitely," I said with more passion than I'd intended. We laughed, and she and Rob left.
I looked back at Nicholas and the others, only to discover to my surprise that there were no others. "Where'd everybody go?"
His half-smile was wry. "To try on everything they bought and then go to the spa."
"Again?"
He shrugged. "It's apparently the place to be."
I looked down at my nails, which had survived the previous day's snorkeling virtually undamaged. "Too many chemical fumes for my taste. I'd rather be at the pool."
Holding back a bigger smile, he said, "The pool has chlorine, you know. Chlorine's a chemical."
I feigned shock. "Now he tells me."
We laughed, and he said, "Would you share your pool with me?"
"It's more yours than mine, with all the years you've been here. But sure. As long as you're quiet."
I shushed him, and he shushed me back, then we walked along shushing each other every few steps until we reached my stateroom. I grabbed my ereader while he waited in the doorway, then we switched roles at his place. I was afraid Nicole would be there but she was gone, although she'd left her purchases strewn across the bed and dresser.
"I always won tidiest cabin when I went to camp as a kid, but I guess those days are over," Nicholas said in mock sorrow as we headed to the pool.
I shushed him dramatically and we laughed.
The shusher was at the pool, in her towel cocoon, and she looked up when we arrived and glared at me.
Nicholas gestured toward two lounge chairs on the other side of the pool and raised his eyebrows. I nodded and we were soon settled.
He was pushing buttons on his ereader at a great rate, though, so he clearly wasn't reading. I was considering whether I should lean over and ask him, silently of course, what he was doing when he held out the ereader to me. He'd been typing a note.
The creature from the towel lagoon? Laundry-day the thirteenth? Towel-ween?
I clapped my hand over my mouth and bit my lip beneath it to keep from laughing.
He grinned at me and mouthed, "Shhh!"
I tried to glare at him but I was still laughing too much inside to make it work.
Once I'd calmed a bit, I erased his note and wrote, "The towels are like a cocoon. She might burst out like an alien. The thing from the linen closet."
He read this then gave a mock shudder and began typing again.
I don't want to see any of those movies. And look, I'm sorry about today. The name thing and all that. Stupid. You okay?
I nodded, looking at the screen instead of him. Then I wrote, "How about we forget about it all and just read?"
When he'd read this, he held out his hand to me. I took it, looking into his warm brown eyes, and we shook as he mouthed, "Deal," at me.
I smiled and we settled into reading, although it took a good twenty pages before my hand lost the feel of his firm grip against my skin. We'd always loved holding hands when we were together, and it still felt so good.
I kept reading with half my mind but the other half began thinking about him and Owen and how much nicer the cruise would be if I were Nicholas's fiancé instead of Owen's. I didn't like my own disloyalty at the mere thought, but it was true. Nicholas wouldn't have headed off to the casino every day and left me behind.
Suddenly I wanted him to read my book, right now. It wasn't done, but I wanted to know what he thought. Maybe he could help me find the perfect ending.
While I searched for the right words to ask him, although I couldn't use any words while the 'creature from the towel lagoon' was nearby, I heard heels clicking on the deck and looked up to see Brandy.
Her eyes were on Nicholas, who was oblivious, but as I watched she flicked her gaze to me. Her eyebrows went up when she saw me looking at her, and she gave me a quick wave and took off.
Weird.
I decided that when I could speak out loud I'd simply ask Nicholas to read my book, since he'd already offered so it wouldn't be awkward, and I finally felt able to stop thinking and let my whole mind focus on what I was reading. I'd just begun to sink into the story when I heard, "Nicky, Nicole wants you."
Nicholas looked up with a start of surprise. "Why? What's up?"
The shusher did her thing but Brandy ignored her. "She wants to see you in the spa. I'm supposed to take you there."
Nicholas let out his breath in something that sounded like a sigh then turned to me. "Sorry," he said softly. "You're okay here?"
I nodded.
"I'll come back if it works out. If not..." He stuffed his ereader into his bag and offered it to me. "Could you bring this to dinner? I'd rather not take it to the spa."
"Sure." I took it, and he held my gaze a second longer before saying, "See you later," and leaving with Brandy, who looked back over her shoulder at me and gave me a big utterly fake smile.
A little bit of me felt annoyed that she clearly thought she'd won by 'stealing' him from me, but mostly I wondered why he'd left his ereader. Packed in the bag, it wouldn't be at any risk of damage in the spa. Was it really that difficult for him to carry it around?
Or... could he be hoping I'd give him my book?
I gathered my things and returned to my stateroom, where I wrote a quick introduction to the book reminding him that it wasn't done and making sure he knew that he didn't have to read it at all but that if he did I'd love to know what he thought, then I found the email address for his ereader and sent the book to it.
Once it appeared, I reopened the book he'd been reading so everything was as he'd left it and was about to go back to the pool when I remembered that I had a meeting at four-thirty with Derek and my mom and Linda to go over the final plans for my wedding flowers. I checked my watch. Three-twenty.
Rather than sit at the pool without Nicholas, I decided to sit on my balcony with my laptop and see whether I could figure out how my story had to end.
Then maybe when Nicholas was done reading what I'd already given him I'd be able to share the perfect ending with him.
*****
At four-forty-five, I skidded into Derek's tiny office. As I caught hold of a file cabinet to keep myself upright, I said, "Sorry! Lost track of time."
I'd been deep in trying to find that perfect ending for my book, but I hadn't found even a single ending never mind a perfect one.
The smoky monster had emerged from the trees and Larry and Lizzie stood staring at it, and no matter what I tried they just kept staring and wouldn't do anything. I had no idea how they could kill the monster, no escape routes occurred to me, and though they could give in and let it make them smoky monsters too that wasn't the kind of ending I wanted.
"No worries." Derek smiled. "We've been chatting about Wendy's flowers."
I turned, surprised, to see my friend grinning at me. "Are you going to get married on the cruise after all?"
She shook her head. "But I figured I'd listen in and see what ideas I could steal from you."
"And of course, when you were late," Mom said, giving me a disapproving look, "we focused on her instead."
"Sorry," I said again, taking the last chair at the table. "Just let me catch my breath. Did you come up with anything good for yours, Wendy?"
"Mark likes gold, so we were thinking maybe chrysanthemums," she said, pushing a catalog toward me and tapping a picture of a rich glowing yellow flower. "They're around in the fall when we'll need them. And lots of greenery and maybe some red roses too although we're not sure how they'd look with the mums. But I think it might work. We'll pick a florist when we get home and really get to work on it."
Her eyes were glowing more than the chrysanthemum in the catalog, and I envied her excitement and even more the fact that she and Mark would work on their wedding together. I wished I hadn't asked Owen that morning to come to this meeting with me. He'd barely slowed down on his way ou
t our door toward the casino, tossing a distracted "I know you'll do a great job with all that and I'd just get in your way" back at me, and I'd had no time to respond. Not that a response would have made any difference.
Linda gave my shoulder a firm squeeze. "No sighing allowed, missy."
I blinked. "Did I?"
She nodded. "And I think I know why. But don't worry, you can pick whatever flowers you want. Owen won't care, and the budget is wide open."
She smiled at me, clearly thinking she'd now fixed all my issues, and though she'd done nothing of the sort I made myself give her a big smile and say, "Well, then, let's do it."
We did. Or, to be more precise, they did. The great roses debate, which I'd thought had been resolved, was rekindled by my mom, and it raged on for a good ten minutes until Derek suggested orchids, which we could pick up at the last island before the wedding day, and everyone agreed they'd be great.
"Pale purple for Mel," Linda said, "since we'd never get a perfect pink to match Wendy's dress, and white for Wendy. Yes?"
It all seemed so pointless. The flowers would be in the garbage by the end of the wedding day, so why put so much energy into it? I couldn't make myself care.
We hashed out how to decorate the chapel and the tables in the small private dining room where we'd have our post-wedding lunch, and eventually even Linda agreed that white roses with a single pale purple orchid in each arrangement would be lovely.
It would be lovely, but I still didn't seem to care. Looking at Wendy, seeing her excitement over her wedding planning, made it clear to me that I didn't care enough about mine. Although maybe that was because mine was mostly planned now. Had I been hugely excited at the beginning? I must have been. I'd wanted to be married for years.
When we'd wrapped up all the last details, Derek said, "Well, that's great. Can I talk to the bride alone for a minute?"
I started to get up to leave him and Wendy alone before realizing he meant me, but fortunately nobody else seemed to notice because Linda was saying, "More sex talk, huh? You're an animal, Derek."
Toronto Collection Volume 2 (Toronto Series #6-9) Page 78