Seeing her, so sure she had forced Jesse into marriage and so unhappy about it, made it even clearer to me that I didn't want to have any doubts about that on my wedding day. Like I would if--
I slammed that mental door shut hard. I would not even let the thought of whether Nicholas would marry me now if I tried to push him into my head. He'd had his chance to tell me he wanted me and he hadn't taken it. No looking back.
Fortunately, the first half of the excursion was interesting enough that I didn't have time or energy to look back. I kept myself on one side of the group, and Nicholas obligingly stayed on the other side, and as we walked through the rum distillery I relaxed and chatted with Wendy and Mark. Once we'd seen the whole process, how the sugarcane was crushed in huge machines to extract its juice and then that juice was fermented and distilled, we were given samples of the various rums and that relaxed me even more.
Once we'd tasted the samples and Austin had bought several bottles to take home, the tour guide took us to a shopping area that offered a variety of arts and crafts.
Wendy's eyes lit up when she spotted a set of three silvery candle holders. "Mark, look. Aren't they nice? We could use these for a unity candle ceremony at the wedding."
He studied them. "You want that? Really?"
She turned, surprised. "You don't like them?"
"I like them. I've never liked that ceremony."
She blinked. "Why not?"
He shrugged. "Just seems weird to me. Lighting the two candles and then using them to light the third. I get the symbolism, but I don't like it somehow."
I felt bad for her, since she so clearly wanted it and equally clearly wouldn't get it for no better reason than that he didn't 'like it somehow', but she didn't seem upset. She nodded and said, "Okay. I'd like them at the wedding, though. Ideas on what else we could do with them?"
He picked up one of the candle holders and turned it around in his hand. "On the table where we sign the license, by the guest book, and.. um...."
"Guest book? But you said you didn't want one."
"If you can give up the unity candle thing I can handle having a guest book."
"Deal." She moved closer to him. "Maybe the third one waits for us at the reception."
"On our dinner table." He nodded. "And then the other two can join it there after the ceremony. Maybe on each side of the cake table?"
"Perfect." She grinned at him, they shared a quick kiss, and she took the candle holders to the cash register.
I continued browsing, not really seeing the objects in front of me. What I'd just witnessed was so not how Owen and I interacted. He made the decisions, and if I didn't like them that was not a problem. For him, anyhow.
Linda said, "Raul, put that down. You'd look ridiculous in that shirt."
I looked up to see the quiet man, who seemed sweet although I'd barely heard ten words from him, holding a black shirt with yellow flowers bright enough to light up the ship's night club. He stared down at the shirt. "But..."
"Nope. Sorry, baby. It's not you."
Raul returned the shirt to the rack and I realized where Owen had acquired his attitude.
I realized what I was supposed to be doing about it a moment later, when Austin successfully argued with his mother and was permitted to buy a hat that said, "Seven days without rum makes one weak." Owen had clearly always had to stand up for what he wanted, and no doubt he assumed that since I didn't stand up for anything I was okay with his decisions.
I wasn't, though, not always, and I would have to speak up. Either that or find a guy who would negotiate with me like Mark did with Wendy.
My eyes strayed to Nicholas, laughingly refusing Austin's offer to buy him a hat too. He would negotiate.
I turned my head sharply, refusing to let myself go there, and found myself looking at a display of gorgeous hand-dyed silk shawls. I'd seen pieces from the same small company on an earlier excursion and liked them, but now they were a welcome distraction and as I focused on them I fell in love.
"Ooh," Wendy said, reaching past me to fondle a cobalt-blue one with slashes of teal through it. "Let's buy all of them."
I laughed. "Do you have room in your suitcase?"
"No problem. I'll just throw out Mark's clothes."
Mark rolled his eyes, we chuckled, and he wandered off leaving us happily sorting through the shawls. The rest of the group moved on to another store but Wendy and I stayed put, and in the end she had three draped over her arm and I had one.
"Just that one?"
I nodded. "They're all gorgeous but I think this one is so me." It had the soft pale pink of my cashmere shawl swirled with a silvery blue that was a perfect match to my toenail polish and a dusky purple that would go beautifully with my long skirt. In the middle of one end was a shape that looked like a letter M, like the shawl had been monogrammed for me.
"For sure." Wendy looked down at her collection, the cobalt one plus a deep chocolate brown one with flashes of gold and a cream one with black dots in the shape of triangles. "These are all me."
I brushed my fingers over the cream one. "This one surprises me. It's kind of pale for you."
She laughed. "Yeah, but did you look at its name?"
"Name?"
"You didn't notice?" She picked up the tag on my shawl, which I had indeed not noticed, and read, "Tropical sunset on the ocean".
My mind went instantly to watching the sun go down with Nicholas. "Yeah, it looks kind of like that. What's the name of yours?"
She held the tag before my eyes.
"Polar bear in a blizzard?"
She giggled. "The dots are the eyes and nose, I guess. I think it's hilarious, especially buying it in the Caribbean. Who ever heard of polar bears in the Caribbean?"
"Bet they're sweating up a storm."
"Bet they stink too. Sweaty bear armpits. Okay, let's go buy these."
I loved mine, but... "I'm not sure."
"Why not?"
I shrugged. "I already bought this on the trip." I pointed at my starfish necklace from the excursion with Nicholas. "It wasn't cheap either. And then I bought all those clothes at the outlet mall. I think I might be souvenir-ed out."
Her forehead wrinkled. "But you bought clothes you needed for summer, not souvenirs. And this shawl's perfect for you."
Linda stuck her head back into the shop. "You guys okay?"
"Yup," Wendy said. "Just trying to convince my frugal friend to buy a shawl so I don't feel bad about buying three."
She laughed and came to join us. "That's gorgeous, Mel. I'll buy it for you if you want."
If I bought it at all, I wanted it to be my money, not hers. I'd taken so much from her already. "That's so sweet, Linda, but I'm okay." I held the shawl in my hands, willing myself to return it to the basket.
The others appeared in the doorway as she said, "You sure? I'm happy to do it."
Getting it from her would taint it somehow, and I really didn't have the money to do it myself. "Thank you so much, but no." I let the soft silk drape over the edge of the basket and managed to make myself release it. To Wendy, I added, "Ready to get yours?"
She nodded and went to the counter as I continued to fight off Linda's offers to buy it for me, to which were unfortunately added my own mother's offers.
"Hurry up, Wendy!" I called to her in mock pain that wasn't so mock. This was turning far uglier than I wanted.
Wendy finished her transaction and trotted back to us. "Good enough. Let's go. If Melissa says no, she means it."
Linda said, "Well, I think you're crazy, but that just means you'll fit into the family," and headed off with my mom.
"Thanks," I mouthed to Wendy, and she grinned.
We cruised through the rest of the shops, Wendy and I together and the others scattered around the shopping district, and after about fifteen minutes Wendy said, "You're still thinking about that shawl, aren't you?"
"Yes," I admitted. "It's just so pretty. But..." I looked around to make sure Linda
wasn't in earshot. "I don't want it from her."
Wendy winked at me. "You know, I do not currently have a wedding present for you."
I rolled my eyes. "Not you too."
She chuckled. "Yup, me too. And it's true, I don't have one. Would you consider letting me get you the pretty pretty shawl?"
I pretended to give this some thought then said, "Yes, please. I'd love that." It would be different coming from her.
She grinned and I grinned back and we rushed to the store.
But the shawl was gone.
After we searched through the bin, Wendy said to the cashier, "You don't have another one that's like 'tropical sunset on the ocean', do you? Maybe in the back?"
She shook her head, and I had to admit I was glad. I'd wanted that one, with the letter M on the end. A different one wouldn't have been the same.
Wendy put her arm around my shoulder as we walked back to the others who were waiting outside a coffee shop for us. "I guess you don't get a wedding present."
I laughed. "You could get me something else."
"No way," she said as we reached the group. "That was a one-time offer."
"What was?" Linda said.
"I was going to get her that shawl," Wendy said, "but it's gone."
"Oh, that's a shame," Linda said. "It was so pretty, Mel." She shook her finger at me. "Should have let me buy it for you."
I still didn't want to have it from her, but now I didn't have it at all and I knew I'd never forget how pretty it had been. I should have bought it myself when I had the chance, but I'd let the opportunity go by and I'd never get it back.
Chapter Thirty-Four
For the first time, Linda wasn't at the table when I arrived for dinner. Raul had been eating with us for the last few days, and he was there but didn't know where she was.
Ordering before our hostess seemed inappropriate, so those of us who'd been on the day's excursion enlightened Owen and Nicole about our activities. Owen paid attention, although he didn't say much because his gambling hadn't been a success and he was clearly still obsessing over it, but Nicole looked around and fiddled with the ends of her hair which strangely seemed several inches longer than I'd thought it was, and eventually we left her out of the conversation which was what she seemed to want.
"I'm sorry about that shawl," Mom said again. "It really was pretty."
Yes, it was, and it was harder to forget about it when she kept bringing it up. "Well, at least Wendy got hers. All of them."
Wendy leaned over and draped the corner of her polar bear shawl across my shoulder. "We can share."
I patted the silk like I was patting a bear on its head. "Thank you."
"And the good news is," Austin said, "that I got lots of rum. Party at my place tonight."
"Are you allowed to open it on the cruise?"
He smiled at me. "No, they took it away, actually. But there's always room service. I'm happy to get you drunk. Again."
I rolled my eyes, but felt my cheeks warming.
"Again?" Owen said.
I turned to him. "You know I was... well, I'm not convinced I was drunk, but drinking last night. At Courtney's party."
He didn't seem to remember but let it go, and Austin said, "Wendy, help me out. Was Mel drunk?"
"I refuse to answer on the grounds that I'm on her side not yours."
We all laughed and I said, "Okay, fine. I will admit that I was quite relaxed."
After Courtney and Wendy had returned from the bathroom Courtney had been in a far better mood and we'd hung out drinking and laughing with Austin and his friends for another hour or so until Courtney noticed Austin's watch and said she needed to get to bed. Wendy and I called it a night too, though the guys begged us to stay. I didn't know why Wendy had refused, although I guessed that having Mark waiting for her in the stateroom had something to do with it, but for me it had been all about not wanting to drunkenly let something else incriminating sneak out. Austin seemed to have forgotten about me saying Nicholas when I should have said Owen and I hadn't wanted to do anything to remind him.
"Relaxed is good." Austin smiled at me, then his eyes slipped past me. "Mom doesn't look relaxed."
We all followed his gaze, and he was right. She was stalking toward us with her tiny braids writhing around her face like miniature but lethal red snakes, fury snapping in her eyes.
"Incoming," Austin whispered, then she was on us.
"How dare you? Do you think I'm an idiot? A sucker? I invited you here and this is how you repay me?"
For one horrible second I thought she was talking to me, thought Austin had let her know what I'd said about marrying Nicholas and she was upset on Owen's behalf. As I realized that wasn't very likely, I looked up and saw she was glaring at Nicole.
"Mom, what are you--"
She didn't let Nicholas finish. "Thirty-five hundred dollars at the spa. On top of what I paid for your trip itself. Do you honestly think that's okay?"
I heard Wendy suck in a quick breath and Austin muttered, "Damn," in a tone that almost sounded impressed.
It was kind of impressive, actually. If I'd spent more than three hundred dollars I'd be surprised.
Nicole raised her chin. "You said we should go."
She had a point. In fact, Linda had given me some good-hearted grief on Saturday night for not making sufficient use of the spa. Nicole had made far more use than I had, but that didn't make her wrong.
Linda dropped into her chair and narrowed her eyes at Nicole. "Go, yes. Live there, no. And the hair extensions are coming out tomorrow. No way am I letting you keep those."
She'd gotten hair extensions on Linda's money? That explained a big chunk of the bill. Plus, how many times had I seen Nicole with different-colored nails? Looking back, I didn't think she'd kept the same color two days in a row.
"But then it's a total waste of money."
Linda laughed. "Now she's worried about wasting my money. Well, here's the thing. As of right now, you are no longer on my tab. You get your basic meals and you can still stay in the stateroom, because while I'd be happy to physically kick you off the ship myself I know it would upset Nicky and I won't do that. But if you want so much as a cappuccino you'd better have your wallet handy."
Nicole tried to say something but Linda steamrollered her. "I talked to you on Sunday about this, and since then you've doubled your bill. So if you're planning to ask for another another chance, you can forget it."
The rest of us sat awkwardly as they glared at each other. I had been feeling a little solidarity with Nicole but Linda's words had destroyed it. She'd already been warned she was spending too much and had responded by spending twice as much? That was just ridiculous. Linda was actually being kind by not refusing to pay for the rest of the trip, or in fact for the spa bill, and if Nicole had any sense she'd apologize and cut her losses and--
"It's your fault," Nicole said, "because you told me at the beginning to have fun there. And I did."
She turned to Nicholas, so we all did too, and my heart squeezed at the horror and pain on his face.
Her reaction was different: she rolled her eyes and said, "More fun than with you. I was going to dump you weeks ago but then this trip came up and I figured why not stay around. But now I know why not, and we are finished. You're pathetic and boring and I wouldn't stay in the stateroom with you if I had any other option."
Linda's hands hit the table. "You'd damn well better find another option." She signaled our waiter, who hurried over with an expression of confusion that showed me he'd been monitoring the activity at our table. "Get someone to take this..." She gestured at Nicole. "This to her stateroom. She's got fifteen minutes to get everything she owns out of there and after that if I see her again I'm dropping her overboard myself."
The waiter stared a moment, his mouth opening and closing like one of the fish I'd seen while snorkeling with Nicholas, and if it hadn't all been so awful it would have been hilarious. "I... um..." He turned and scurried off to t
he Captain's table, and in moments Edgar was with us hearing Linda explain again why Nicole was out of our group.
I couldn't imagine how hearing all this felt to Nicholas. He hadn't spoken, or even reacted, since the beginning of the whole mess, not even after Nicole's insults, and I longed to hug him. But of course I couldn't, for a variety of reasons, so I settled for sending him comforting thought waves and hoping he could pick them up.
"You can't let her do that," Nicole said when Linda had finished and Edgar had sent our waiter to find a room steward for Nicholas's area of the ship.
He held up a hand to cut off Linda's angry reply. "Actually," he said to Nicole, "it's entirely up to her. The bookings are all in her name. I think you'll want to see if one of your spa friends can lend you their couch."
Nicole stared, then turned on Nicholas. "You're not going to stop her?"
He looked cowed for a moment, then raised his chin sharply. "I guess I'm too pathetic and boring to do anything."
She stormed off, and the newly arrived room steward went after her at the waiter's frantic urging.
Edgar laid a hand on Linda's shoulder. "Anything else, my dear?"
She smiled up at him, still clearly furious but trying to pull herself together. "No, I think that's quite enough for one night. Thank you."
He gave her a squeeze. "Mind if I stay for a moment?"
We all insisted he did, since the distraction was welcome, and he took Nicole's chair. Turning to Owen, he said, "Not long until the wedding, is it?"
"Two days."
"I remember you as a teenager, Owen. A young teenager, at that. I can't get my head around that you're ready to be married." He smiled, his eyes sad. "I do love doing weddings."
Something in the way he said that, as if we'd been questioning it, confused me, but Linda reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. "I know it's hard on you. We're so grateful for it."
He closed his hand around hers. "Thank you." He shook his head. "I'm just glad your wedding wasn't last year, Owen. I'd have hated to miss it."
Toronto Collection Volume 2 (Toronto Series #6-9) Page 87