“Saturday night. You and me, dinner and a movie,” Bronx said.
It wasn’t really a question and was more like a statement. Rose didn’t like being told what to do at all. In fact, she despised it when men thought they were being cute and tried to tell her what to do. The problem was, she had done exactly the same thing with Bronx, so she couldn’t exactly get angry at him for trying it with her. Actually, it was sort of adorable how he tried to act all forward and aggressive to get her to go out with him. Not adorable enough that she actually wanted to go out with him, but still adorable.
“I’m busy.”
“I know, with me. I’ll pick you up at six.”
“I don’t want to be a bitch here, but this … whatever this is between us. This is not going to happen.”
Rose really couldn’t define what was going on between them, and it didn’t matter that they had slept together. One minute she thought Bronx was a fun, light-hearted guy, and the next he sort of seemed like a jerk.
“I need to eat. You need to eat. That’s all this is.”
“No.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you at your place at ten?” Bronx said as he turned in his chair to look at Rose.
His effort to land himself at her apartment was admirable, but still not enough for Rose. His shaggy blond hair looked cute as hell too, but Rose wasn’t interested in what Bronx wanted. She was perfectly content to work with him, but they didn’t need to continue on with anything more than that.
“No,” Rose said firmly as she turned back to her work.
“I think I’ll let you think about it,” Bronx said, looking at Shamus and Stewart and shrugging his shoulders.
It was clear that Bronx was used to getting his own way, and Rose was used to getting her own way. The two of them together were likely to be one hell of a couple. But Rose wouldn’t let that happen ever. No emotional connection, that’s the only type of relationship she wanted to be in.
“You two should stop flirting already and just go out,” Shamus said.
“I think Rose is too much for him,” Stewart added. “She probably dates politicians or something like that.”
“I bet Bronx dates models and actresses.”
“Or waitresses,” Stewart said, and then they both started laughing.
Rose and Bronx were trying to ignore their co-workers, but the chatting continued as they tried to work. Both of them smiled as Steward and Shamus continued trying to decide the type of women and men each of them liked to date.
“Rose, Rose,” Shamus tried to get her attention. “What kind of guy do you date?”
“I like quiet guys,” Rose said sternly.
“Guys, leave her alone and let her work, she’s obviously trying to impress Mr. Conley,” Bronx teased.
It took everything she had not to respond and say something to the guys. But Rose wasn’t going to stoop to their level. Sure, she was trying to impress Noah, but she was also trying to impress Elaine. They should all be doing the exact same thing. First-year lawyers were always the people who got let go when times got tough, and Rose was going to make sure she wasn’t the first one on their list of people to be fired. She was going to make herself irreplaceable so they wanted to keep her no matter what was going on.
Chapter 7
Although Rose normally didn’t look forward to going out with her girlfriends on Saturdays, she was finally excited when the time came. It helped that she’d had a long week and that they had agreed not to go out and do a bunch of stuff for the whole day. The drinking and dancing part of the night were her favorite anyways.
Rose was better at socializing if it was in small doses. She could actually enjoy herself if she only had to be around someone for a couple of hours. It was much harder when she had to hang out with friends or family for a whole day at a time.
Rose slept in Saturday morning until almost two in the afternoon. It felt amazing not to have anywhere she needed to be or anything she had to do with herself. After making herself some food and showering, Rose spent another two hours on her couch watching random television and wasting her day away. It was close to six in the evening when she finally got up and started to get ready for her night out.
There was a process that she had to go through to get ready for a night out. Not only did she have to get herself looking beautiful, but Rose had to get her apartment looking good as well. She usually brought a guy home for the evening, and that meant she needed to have her apartment looking decent before she left. She made sure she had condoms in her nightstand and a few drinks chilled for them to grab if things got really steamy.
She didn’t always bring a man home; there were times when she couldn’t find a decent looking guy out at the clubs. There were other times when she just felt like leaving alone for the evening. But more often than not, Rose brought a nice piece of ass home to pleasure herself with and release the pent up negativity of her life.
At first, when she picked up guys, she thought it made herself seem easy or cheap, but the more she met men, the more she felt empowered by the process. She wasn’t doing anything wrong and certainly nothing that guys hadn’t been doing for years. Rose always used protection, and she did try to make better choices about the men she brought home with her.
She had come to the conclusion that it was physically impossible to be sad about your life if you were having an orgasm. Sure you could be sad before and after the orgasm, but you couldn’t be sad when your body was going through so much pleasure. And because of that pleasure, Rose liked bringing delicious guys home for a couple hours of fun. She felt a need for the release that a man could bring. Sure, she could pleasure herself and get to an orgasm, but there was nothing like the adrenaline and excitement of bringing a man home.
Part of the excitement was the new and unknown nature of each guy. The other part was knowing that she wouldn’t have to see him after that one night together. It was much easier to relax and enjoy herself when she didn’t need to worry about what he would think of her. She didn’t care what any of the guys thought because she got rid of them before the evening was over. Well, except Bronx, she ended up having to work with him.
When she arrived at the club, Rose quickly found her girlfriends and settled in for their evening of drinking and dancing. It always amazed Rose that her friends were still single. They were actually beautiful, fun, and smart women, and there really was no reason a top notch guy shouldn’t have snatched them up already.
As she walked across the club, Rose switched her personality to the fun, bubbly one that her friends liked to see. It was just easier than having to deal with their constant worry and complaints. If it was only for a few hours, she could manage to be happy, or at least, pretend like she was happy.
“Ladies!” Rose said when she reached them. “Who’s buying this first-year lawyer a drink?”
“I think you should be the one buying drinks. You’re going to be richer than all of us.”
“Not yet, I’m not. Currently, I’m poor.”
“I got ya,” Kimberly said. “How was your first week of work?”
“Let me put it to you this way …” Rose started, “If you could bottle up the feeling of total assholes around you all the time. That’s how work went.”
“Um, Rose,” Elsa started to say, but Rose cut her off.
“I have to work with these hot first-year guys who think they are God’s gift to women. It’s like their testosterone is spilling out all over our office, and I have no chance of surviving.”
“Rose,” Elsa said as she tried to get her attention again.
“There’s this one guy; man, he is the worst. Sexy surfer look and always distracting me with this killer smile of his …” Rose trailed off her sentence when she noticed all three of the women were looking over her shoulder at something.
“Do I know this guy?” Bronx asked as Rose turned around and saw him standing right there behind her.
“Oh, hey there Bronx. What are you doing here?” Rose said as her
face turned bright red.
She didn’t mind being mean to people, but she liked to know they were there when she said those things. Rose hated getting caught being nice to people. That was the worst. Her face flushed with embarrassment as she replayed in her mind the things she had just said about Bronx and her other co-workers. There was no taking it back, though, and Rose wasn’t the type to be embarrassed for too long.
“Dance with me,” Bronx demanded.
“No.”
“It’s only fair that you dance with the adorable co-worker that you’re lusting after.”
“I never said that!” Rose protested. “Leave me alone, Bronx; isn’t there a young, naive twenty-one-year-old you can hit on?”
“I prefer hot older ladies.”
“Well, now you’ve done it. I’m not that much older and calling a woman older isn’t the best way to win her over.”
Rose took off toward the dance floor and grabbed the first guy who looked free. She wasn’t going to let Bronx get his way and wasn’t going to fall for his sly college boy confidence.
“Dance with me,” Rose said to an unsuspecting man on the dance floor.
Her choice of prey was about her age, brown hair, tall, and he looked like he had just come out of some sort of political event. He still had his suit on but had taken the jacket off and was trying to blend in with the crowd on the dance floor. Rose picked him because he seemed really tense and like the kind of guy she’d like to bring home and help relax a little. She also picked him because he seemed very non-threatening in his demeanor.
“Yes ma’am,” the man responded as she grabbed him.
“What’s your name?”
“Mike, what’s yours?”
“Rose, it’s nice to meet you, Mike.”
Mike pulled Rose close and seemed very eager to dance with her. She knew he would be an easy catch for the night. Mike was sophisticated and smelled decent. He had a nice body under the business shirt he had on; Rose could feel it as she let her hand press against his chest. Mike would do just fine for what she needed that night.
“Are you from D.C.?” Mike asked.
“Not from here, but I do live here now. I’m a lawyer, how about you?”
“I work with one of the senators.”
“Excuse me, can I have this dance?” Bronx said as he cut in on the conversation.
Mike looked at Bronx and then back at Rose to see what she was going to do. He seemed a little bewildered that someone would jump in and try to take his dance partner away, but he certainly didn’t look like he was going to fight off any guy who tried to take her.
“No,” Rose said firmly as she held onto Mike. “Go dance with someone your own age,” Rose said in reference to him calling her older.
“Oh, come on. It’s just a figment of speech—you’re not going to call me out on that are you?” Bronx tried to argue.
“I said no, Bronx; now go away.”
Bronx waited for another moment and then turned to leave. He didn’t look happy about it at all, but Bronx didn’t look like the kind of guy that liked to start fights or anything like that either. Rose couldn’t help smiling a little at how hard Bronx was chasing after her. She sort of liked the attention he was giving her, but she knew she couldn’t give in to him.
As Bronx went back to his table with his friends, Rose got a glimpse of him, and for a brief moment felt that she shouldn’t have been so rude to him. She still could remember the feeling of his body and hers together. The way he had brought her to orgasm over and over again. She could do worse than another night with him, that was for sure.
Rose didn’t know why she wouldn’t just take Bronx up on his offer. It wasn’t like he wanted a relationship or anything like that, he clearly just wanted another night of sex with her. But then again, Rose didn’t really know what she wanted. Perhaps always finding a new guy wasn’t the best route to her weekend orgasms. It would save her a lot of time and energy if she had a fuck buddy that she could call over whenever she wanted.
She made a mental note to consider all sides of the argument for possibly letting Bronx be her ‘Friend with Benefits’ if that was indeed what he wanted from her. It seemed like a solution to her weekend with her friends and always trying to find a decent guy that wouldn’t be a total ass to her. But it would only work if that was really what he wanted from her as well.
Rose had brought home a few guys that were less than chivalrous when she got them into the bedroom. Although she had gotten better at choosing the guys, there was always the possibility that she would bring home a dangerous man. Originally, Rose hadn’t cared at all if what she was doing was dangerous, but over the years, she had become more interested in her safety.
Rose stopped picking up guys that were older than her and concentrated on younger guys where she felt more in control. She also didn’t go after guys who first hit on her. It was about control of the situation, and she wanted it all. In Rose’s mind, she felt like she could be in control of asking the guy to her house, and then she would be safe. Obviously, she knew that was total bologna, and any man could harm her without warning, but it was enough justification for her to continue doing what she wanted to.
Perhaps that was why she kept pushing Bronx away. He wanted control over their relationship, and so did she. It wasn’t at all what she was looking for in her life at that time. She didn’t even want a real relationship. Sex, lots of orgasmic sex, that was all that she cared about.
Rose didn’t want a guy that would get in the way of her desires with work. She certainly didn’t want a man who would question her about her past or ask a lot of questions. There was no relationship that she thought she could handle at that point in her life. All she wanted was the physical affection that would drive the sadness out of her so she could function as a normal person throughout the week; nothing more and nothing less.
Chapter 8
“He’s really cute, and he likes you—why won’t you dance with the guy?” Elsa asked as Rose started to drink the vodka at their table.
“I’m just not that into him.”
“You just like guys that you can totally control,” Kimberly added.
“Pretty much. I don’t want anything heavy, and I want someone fun.”
“That Bronx guy seems pretty fun. I mean he was zip lining last weekend, and he’s right there with you at your office. Seems like the perfect guy to have a little fun with.”
“I’m not into him,” Rose said more firmly.
“Whatever, he’s nice. Oh, and he’s coming over again.”
Rose quickly turned around to see Bronx making a V line for her. The determination in his eyes was almost comical as he looked right at her and strode quickly. Rose tried not to laugh as he made his way right up to her, grabbed her by the hands and pulled her out onto the dance floor.
“If it’s forceful that you like, then I’ll give it to you,” Bronx said.
Bronx wasn’t the kind of guy who would normally demand a woman’s attention, but then again, normally women wanted his attention and didn’t push him away like Rose had been doing. Bronx was used to women practically throwing themselves at him, and the fact that Rose refused to be thrown off by his charm was driving him crazy. He needed her again, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had her in his bed or she let him come back to her bed again.
Rose just laughed and went out with him to the dance floor. It wasn’t worth arguing with him in front of everyone. She could stand another dance, and Bronx couldn’t do that much damage if they were out on the dance floor with everyone watching them.
Bronx stood around six feet tall, and Rose could remember his muscular build very distinctly. In fact, when she was that close to him, Rose felt a lot of the sexual attraction which had brought them together only a week before. It felt good. Bronx felt a little comfortable to her now, and that feeling was something unusual, yet nice to her.
He smelled delicious too, much better than Mike smelled. She breathed him in and tried not to
close her eyes as the delicious smell of his cologne filled her nostrils. Bronx was cute, she wasn’t going to deny that, but she wanted a fuck buddy and not a boyfriend; she wasn’t sure Bronx understood that just yet.
“Your body moves like you know your way around a dance floor,” Bronx said as he pulled her close to him.
His mouth was only inches away from her ear, and the gentle sound of his voice had her body tingling with desire. Rose felt the built up of her addiction as his hands slid down to her ass and then back up again where he rested just at the base of her back. He wanted her. She felt it in his touch. She saw it in the way he was looking at her. Rose knew she was only moments away from giving in and letting Bronx come home with her again.
The feeling of being wanted, being desired, was what drove Rose to have a man. She could forget all the loss and pain in her life when there was a man in front of her that desired her so much. It was unstoppable once she felt it.
There was just something so powerful about another human being wanting her. She felt the passion from Bronx in that moment, and her whole body reacted with desire. Being wanted felt good. It made her feel like she was powerful and in control of her life when she knew that she really wasn’t powerful or in control at all.
“I used to dance as a girl. I love dancing.”
“Let me take you home,” Bronx begged. “Or I’ll go home with you.”
Rose just smiled and tucked herself in close to him. She wasn’t ready to step away from him, and she wasn’t going to tell him he could come home with her. She just wanted to stay in that spot with his arms around her for a little longer. Bronx certainly wasn’t a man she would have thought she would want to have a second time, but there she was thinking about it and wondering what the potential consequences would be if she gave in.
Having a man’s arms around her felt like home again. Even for the briefest of moments, she could remember Derek and how much he loved her. Rose could close her eyes and think of him and miss him and live in the past; a place where she felt safe. Life in the present wasn’t safe at all. Rose hated most of her life and constantly wanted to turn back time and go back to when Derek was alive.
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