“Thank you, and your honor, we would also like to ask for a two-month extension. We need time to review this new evidence and complete the depositions,” Noah said as Rose continued to stand.
“I’ll give you one month.”
“Thank you, your honor.”
“Is there anything else?” The judge asked as he looked at Rose.
“No, your honor,” she replied.
“Then we are adjourned.”
Rose walked with her head down as she made her way back to the desk. She had totally made a fool of herself in front of the judge and the opposing counsel. She couldn’t even look at Noah as she gathered her things.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“Not here, we will talk back at the office.”
“Maybe we should have Ms. Tate participate more often in the hearing,” Mr. Phoenix said as he rolled his wheelchair from the opposing counsel table over to theirs. “I think I could beat her.”
It had been a playful joke, yet Rose felt absolutely horrible. She had just given the opposition the confidence they needed to keep fighting against them. Their plan had been to dominate them and make them more willing to settle, but if they thought there was a chance that they could win the case; they certainly wouldn’t settle.
“I’ll expect a call from you tomorrow to schedule the depositions,” Noah said curtly to the man.
“Have a nice day,” Mr. Phoenix replied.
Rose and Noah walked back to their office without saying a single word to each other. She was ashamed of the mistake she had made in not paying attention during the hearing, and she could tell that Noah was upset.
As he closed his office door, Noah didn’t bother to close the shades, he just laid his things on his desk and turned to face Rose. He appeared to be waiting for her to give some sort of explanation for her behavior, but she didn’t have one.
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“You’re sorry? You made us look like total amateurs out there. I thought I could count on you, but you were spacing out the whole hearing, and when it was your chance to prove you deserved to be in that courtroom, you totally failed me.”
It was the first time Rose could remember seeing Noah really angry. He still wasn’t nearly as angry as Derek used to get, though, but it was off-putting to see Noah angry at all. He normally had such a calm demeanor.
“I don’t know what happened. I guess I just got nervous. I’m sorry.”
Rose was genuinely sorry for messing up, but she had learned a big lesson during that process. She wouldn’t let herself get so distracted in court ever again.
“Don’t let it happen again, please. If I have you in the courtroom with me, I need you to be there one hundred percent.”
“Yes, I’ll do better next time, I promise,” Rose felt herself almost in tears, and she needed to leave the office right away.
Chapter 17
“How about you two whores keep your mouths shut,” Rose said when she walked into the break room to grab a snack and overheard them talking about her again. “You’re a self-absorbed bitch, and you need to get a life, Susan.”
The anger in her voice instantly quieted the pair of women, and Rose grabbed her snacks from the fridge and left before they had time to react. She was sick and tired of those two talking about her and even bad mouthing her dead husband. Susan was the one doing most of the talking, but Marge didn’t seem to be putting a stop to it either. She could still remember the horrible things Susan had said about Derek while hiding out in the stairwell. Rose wouldn’t forget those words anytime soon.
Rose didn’t really care if people had stupid things to say about her, but she was sick and tired of them saying them out loud in her workplace. Especially Susan, who hadn’t even gone to the trouble of talking to Rose except when it was absolutely essential. Susan didn’t know a damn thing about Rose and her life and certainly had no place in talking about her to other people.
“That’s not going to make people like you,” Bronx said from behind Rose as she walked toward their office.
“I don’t care if people like me.”
“You should at least try, though. It’s becoming an issue.”
“What’s becoming an issue?”
Rose didn’t know what Bronx was talking about. She got along just fine with the people in the office. No one had come up to her and said they didn’t get along with her. The only person who she knew that really didn’t like her was Susan, and Rose didn’t give a damn about her.
“Your short temper. People are talking about it,” Bronx said.
“Well, fuck them, and fuck you,” Rose said as she sat down at her desk and looked over at Shamus and Stewart.
The other two first years quickly decided they didn’t need to be in the office any longer and grabbed their things and left. They were perfectly happy to leave Rose with Bronx when she was in such a nasty mood. Neither Shamus or Stewart liked Rose all that much and couldn’t understand why Bronx seemed to care about her.
“Rose, this isn’t okay. You work with these people; you need to get along with them. I don’t care if you and your boyfriend Noah are arguing. You don’t need to take it out on everyone else in the office.”
Rose turned around slowly as the words Bronx said sunk in. Boyfriend Noah? Where on earth was Bronx coming up with that? Rose and Noah had actually been staying away from each other a lot recently, and Rose couldn’t think of anything she had said or done that would have given Bronx the idea she was dating Noah.
“What?”
“Oh, please; I know he was the one you had at your place a couple weeks ago. And I’ve seen how he looks at you. I don’t care, it is what it is. But you can’t take out your anger on everyone else when things between the two of you aren’t going well.”
Rose didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t dating Noah, and they hadn’t even made love. Rose was certainly not in a lovers’ quarrel with the man. It pissed her off that Bronx would even bring up such a lie while they were at work. It seemed like he was doing it to purposely make her even angrier than she already was.
“I’m not dating him. He came by the house late to discuss the case, and I didn’t want him to see you that night,” she said.
It was partly true; Rose hadn’t wanted Bronx to see Noah. But there had been much more going on that night than talking about a case. Noah wanted more from Rose, and she had just barely been able to muster the strength to deny him.
“Then why are you so mean to everyone?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t like people.”
“You’re not mean to me like that or to Noah for that matter.”
“I don’t know,” she said again. “Let’s just drop it, okay.”
Bronx didn’t want to drop it, but he did as she asked and dropped the topic, for the time being, but Rose was pretty sure he hadn’t dropped it for good. Bronx wanted Rose as more than just a fuck buddy, and she knew it. Their arrangement to be friends with benefits was purely because she didn’t want it to be anything more, but Rose knew that Bronx didn’t want her sleeping with other men, and he certainly didn’t want her sleeping with their boss.
“What happened in court?” Bronx asked.
“What do you mean? How do you know something happened in court?”
“Rose, I’m not stupid. I know you, and you’re upset. So just tell me already and stop with all the defensiveness. I’m not out to get you, I’m just asking how court went.”
“I messed up and made us look like amateurs. Noah got angry, as he should have. I was stupid and spaced off during the hearing.”
“Really?” Bronx asked looking surprised.
Rose wasn’t the type of person he imagined made too many mistakes. She was so tightly wound up all the time and constantly paid attention to every detail. It really seemed out of place that she would not have been paying attention during such a big court hearing.
“Don’t act so surprised; I’m not perfect you know.”
> “Could have fooled me,” Bronx said with a smile.
Rose smiled back, and she seemed much more at ease. What she and Bronx had going between them was a good deal, and she didn’t want to ruin it. Plus, she knew Bronx was right, and she should probably try to be a little nicer to people in the office.
“I’m going to head home for the evening. Will you be stopping by?”
“I just don’t know yet; can I call you?”
“Of course,” Rose said as she grabbed her things and took off.
One of the benefits of working 12 and 14 hour days was that when she wanted to leave a little early on a day, she didn’t have to feel guilty about it. Rose was exhausted; she wasn’t comfortable with the amount of emotions she had to deal with that day and simply wanted to get out of the office as soon as she could.
People in the office hated her; Noah was angry with her, and Rose had even managed to alienate Bronx over the last few weeks. She didn’t feel very confident in the new life she was setting up for herself and certainly didn’t feel like she was doing any better at life than she had a few years earlier when Derek had died.
Rose wanted to have her life put together; she wanted to be one of those women that everyone looked up to, like Elaine. She certainly didn’t want to be friends with every woman in the office, but it did bother her that some of them hated her so much. As she sat in her car in the parking garage, Rose decided she wanted to talk with Elaine for a minute.
She needed advice that only Elaine could give her. Rose walked right up to Elaine’s office and knocked before she had even thought through everything she wanted to ask her. Something had come over her, and for that brief moment, Rose wanted to be liked.
“Come in,” Elaine said as she looked up from her desk and saw Rose.
“I called Susan a whore and a bitch; I thought I should let you know before she came and told you,” Rose said as she sat down in the chair across from Elaine.
“Well, those don’t seem too off the mark for Susan,” Elaine said with a smile. “But we should probably be working a little harder on getting along with our peers.”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
“How else are things going?”
“I’m doing the best I can. But it seems like it might not be enough sometimes.”
“You have to do more than your best, Rose. As a female in this business, you’ll need to constantly be at one hundred and fifty percent. Don’t let yourself think for a moment that it’s okay to give less than that.”
Rose sat quietly as she tried to think about how hard she had been working. She really did think she was giving much more than one hundred percent, but then again, she had been leaving early for that day. So perhaps she wasn’t giving enough.
“I messed up in court today with Mr. Conley,” Rose said.
She was proud of herself for calling Noah, Mr. Conley, in front of Elaine. Over the previous weeks, Rose had tried really hard to call him Mr. Conley when she was around others in the office and especially when she was around Elaine. It was funny that Elaine was perfectly fine with everyone calling her by her first name, but the associates were supposed to call Noah by his last name. Rose assumed it was because Elaine wanted to seem friendly and wanted Noah to seem more official.
“You can call him Noah in here. I know you two are friends. I just don’t want it to get too comfortable between you two. He is a partner, and it would look very poorly on him if he were to have a relationship with a first year. Everyone looks at him as their pal when he’s really their boss, I don’t want you contributing to that feeling in the office.”
“I understand. And we are only friends. I know it seems like more, but it’s not. I don’t have many people in my life that knew me before I lost my husband. He’s one of them.”
“Okay.”
Rose wanted to ask Elaine how she managed to have a life and also be a partner. It seemed totally impossible to ever be able to do anything besides work. Rose was tired, and she was only in her first year; she couldn’t imagine how Elaine kept her own life rolling with all that she did.
“Is there anything else you needed?” Elaine asked.
Rose didn’t have the guts to ask any personal questions as she looked at Elaine. It was obvious the woman was busy, and although she was being very friendly to Rose, she had other things she needed to be doing.
“Thank you again for the opportunity and for the mentorship. I hope that someday I can manage my life as well as you do yours.”
Elaine burst into laughter at Rose’s words. Her laughter caught Rose completely off guard as she looked at the older woman across the desk. Elaine didn’t seem the type of woman who found anything humorous.
“Oh, dear, I don’t manage my life any better than anyone else. I’m just a better actress than you are. Now get going, and we can talk another day.”
Rose laughed a little too and then got up and left Elaine’s office. It was funny to think that Elaine wasn’t really as good at managing her life as Rose thought she was. It must be true that she was a very good actress then, because from the outside looking in, Elaine seemed to have absolutely everything that Rose wanted in her life.
Chapter 18
“Are you alive?” Elsa asked when Rose picked up her cell phone as she got in her car.
Rose had contemplated not answering her phone at all when she saw it was Elsa, but she decided it would be easier to just talk to her than it would be to avoid her. Rose knew Elsa meant well and was just calling to check in with her.
“Yes, I’m sorry; life has been so crazy at work.”
“Come have a drink with me; I’ll meet you at the bar across from your apartment,” Elsa said.
She wasn’t exactly asking Rose but instead was telling her to come have a drink. Rose knew that she was going to have to show up to make her friend feel better and for Elsa to see that Rose was, in fact, doing just fine.
Over the last few years, Rose had had some pretty rough weeks, and even though her day wasn’t going the greatest, Rose knew it wasn’t all that bad. That was the thing with losing a husband, you always knew how much worse things could get, and it was easier to brush off bad days and move on. That type of perspective on life wasn’t something many other people truly understood.
“I’m leaving work now, how about we meet up at four o’clock?” Rose said as she pretended to be extra chipper for her friend.
“Deal.”
Rose knew exactly what Elaine had been talking about when she said she was a good actress. That was what Rose did whenever she was with her friends. She pretended like everything in her life was going perfectly and there wasn’t a care in the world that could dampen her spirits. It was an acting job that Rose had perfected since Derek’s death.
Sometimes Rose couldn’t pretend any longer and would talk with her friends about how she was really feeling about life, but not very often. It was just too much for them. Elsa didn’t know what it was like to be married and lose a husband; she didn’t know what it was like to have to start a new life after you had planned out a different one. But Elsa did mean well, and Rose couldn’t fault her for wanting to be there for her.
“You look thin; are you eating?” Elsa said as she hugged Rose.
It always made Rose laugh that everyone thought she didn’t eat enough. Sure, she was rather thin, but she did eat plenty throughout the day. She could have done a little better job of eating while at work in the beginning, but she had a schedule now and ate everything she brought for food every single day. She liked to eat healthy foods, so that was why she was so thin, but Rose did eat, and it bugged her when people didn’t think she ate enough.
“I’m eating plenty, just not sleeping much, though. This first-year lawyer stuff is much harder than I thought it would be. It’s interesting, though, and I can’t wait until I’m better at it.”
“How is it working with Noah?”
“It’s good, he’s really helping me learn the ropes; I’m glad I took a job at his firm an
d not a different one, not like I had a ton of other opportunities. But Noah is really great to me, the whole firm is.”
“Have you slept with him yet?” Elsa said as she sipped her drink.
“No!”
“Oh, don’t act all shocked; I saw the way he kissed you at the club the other day. You can’t pretend like he doesn’t want you.”
“I can pretend all I want,” Rose joked.
It was nice to see Elsa, despite Rose’s preference for keeping to herself on the weekends now; she did enjoy visiting with her friend. And doing it with just the two of them was much better than having the whole group together. When everyone got together, there was a feeling like they had to party and stay up all night long; Rose just couldn’t do that anymore. Even on the weekends, she was reviewing cases and trying to get work down from home. Rose knew if she ever wanted to get to a partner position, she had to give up her personal time.
The two women continued drinking and talking for much of the evening. It was a good release for Rose, and she felt like she actually was able to talk with Elsa more than normal, perhaps because of the alcohol or maybe because she was feeling especially vulnerable that day. But her evening with Elsa had been just what she needed.
“I better get my ass to bed,” Rose said as she noticed it was ten o’clock. “I’ve got to work in the morning.”
“Me too,” Elsa said as they walked out to the crosswalk.
Rose was really happy she lived across the street and didn’t have to worry about getting home. She was more than tipsy after all the drinks they had shared. She made a mental note to set two alarms so she wouldn’t be late for work the next day. The last thing she needed was to show up late for work again.
“Let’s do this again soon,” Rose said, helping Elsa into a cab.
“I’ll call you next week.”
Rose couldn’t help smiling as she made her way up to her apartment. She had actually enjoyed her visit with Elsa very much. It was strange for her to have enjoyed socializing that much with one of her female friends, and she felt pretty damn proud of herself.
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