by Devney Perry
“You’re right. Let me rephrase my protest. I’m not okay with the manner in which you went about having the barn torn down,” I said.
“Yeah? And what manner was that? Making it so you never had to go in there again? Never had to think about it again?”
“I understand you were trying to do something to help me, Jess. And I appreciate that. But you can’t just make those types of big decisions without talking to me first.” I was trying to keep calm but his tone was making my blood pressure rise.
“Georgia, you were the one that said you wanted the barn gone. That you couldn’t go in there again. Now you don’t have to. How is that a problem?”
“Fine. It’s gone. You win.” I threw my hands in the air. “But you’re not paying for it. That is my responsibility.”
“I’m getting sick of reminding you that I pay, Georgia. Jesus, seems like I have to remind you every fucking day.”
“This isn’t a dinner, Jess. Or coffee. This is a barn. And, apparently, a garage too.”
“I. Pay.”
“No. You. Don’t!” I yelled. “Not with something this big. It’s my property and, I’ll repeat, my responsibility.”
Rather than respond, Jess yanked the car to the side of the road and threw it in park.
“You saw where I grew up tonight, Georgia. Saw the mess. Saw the filth. I never had a home worth keeping up. Worth making into something nice. Because why would I bother fixing up a shit hole? I could spend thousands on that place and it’d still be a shit hole. So when Ben asked me to keep up his place, I jumped at the chance to have something good. Something clean. Something she wouldn’t neglect and ruin. And I’ve been working at that for almost twenty years. Imagine my fucking disappointment when I thought I had to give that all up.”
The farmhouse. That was why he was with me. Why he pushed so hard to date me. Why he went from a jackass to a boyfriend overnight. Why all of a sudden he was bringing me coffee and taking me to dinner. Why he was calling Rowen “little bit” and bringing us kittens. He didn’t want me. Why would he? He could have someone much better.
Tears started to fill my eyes because it finally all made sense.
“I knew it. You’re with me because of the farmhouse,” I said.
“What?” he clipped, “Fuck. You’re not even listening to me.”
“Oh, I’m listening, Jess. And it sounded like you just said that the house I’m living in has been your sanctuary for the last twenty years, and your only shot at keeping it is to hook up with me.”
He scrubbed his face roughly and groaned into his palms. Lifting his hands to the sides of my face, he said, “Please, baby. Please listen to me.”
Tears escaped from both my eyes but I managed a small nod.
“Do I seem like the type of man who would get with you for your house?” he asked.
“Well . . . no.”
“No. I’m not. If I wanted a house like that, I’ve got the money in the bank to have them start construction tomorrow. Build a place twice as big, twice as nice on twice the land. I’m with you because you are you. Not because of your fucking house.”
“It doesn’t make sense, Jess. Why you’d be with me. I’m just me. And you’re you. The whole town knows you and loves you. You’re perfect. So handsome it takes my breath away. And I’m just plain old me. Of course you’d be with me for the house. That makes sense.”
A few more tears started to fall. He stared at me for a minute with a blank face, but then his eyes softened. Gently he swiped my tears with his thumbs.
“I love the farmhouse, Georgia,” he said. “Ben giving me that place to look after gave me a purpose. Kept me from getting into trouble. And I’ve been looking after it for a long-ass time. Turning that responsibility over to someone new was always gonna be difficult for me. But not so difficult that I’d choose to be with a woman just to try and keep it. How could you think I was that type of man?”
“I’m sorry, Jess. I just . . . I didn’t mean to insult you. But the house—” I started but he stopped me, gently shaking me still in his hands.
“Listen. To. Me,” he said. “I’m with you because you’re who I want to be with. Because to me, it makes perfect fucking sense. Even if you don’t see it yet. You’ve got beauty like I’ve never laid eyes on before. It was the first thought that crossed my mind when I saw you in the ER room with Milo. You’re not plain. Get that shit outta your head. You’re my girl because I want you to be my girl.”
“But—”
“No. We’re not going over this again. You gotta get it right in your head. I choose to be with you. Just because of you. Can you please try and process that?” he asked.
I sniffled and blinked fast to stop my tears. I wanted to believe him. Down to my bones, I wanted to believe every one of his words and to trust what he was telling me was the truth. But I needed more time.
My brain just could not comprehend why he’d want me.
He sighed and lifted his palms off my face to hold my hands. “Three weeks ago, I was feeling pretty fucking lucky that the person who took over the responsibility of the farmhouse turned out to be my girl. So not only did I get her, but in a way, I get to keep the farmhouse too. And my girl, she’s my responsibility. She gets bit by a fucking rattlesnake, she gets a garage where that shit will never happen again.”
“It’s too much money, Jess. I’m the one who should pay for it,” I said.
“Baby, this is something I need to do. Let me.”
“Jess—”
“I’ve got fifty thousand dollars sitting in my checking account I have no intention of keeping. I always planned on getting it back to you somehow. Paying for a new garage will make that happen a hell of a lot quicker than buying you coffees and dinners. Even when those coffees cost a fortune.”
My shoulders sagged. “Ben wanted you to have that money.”
“And Ben asked me to take care of his girls. I think he’d be okay with that money going to a new garage. Don’t you?”
Ben would absolutely want me to have a garage. And he would have done the exact same thing as Jess. Made arrangements for the barn that terrified me to disappear.
Damn.
“I feel like I’m always losing our arguments,” I said.
He chuckled. “Don’t worry, baby. Someday, you’ll probably win one.”
I shrugged and looked down at our linked hands. His joke didn’t make me feel better.
Fighting with Jess was not how I’d planned to spend my evening. This was miserable. Sure, we were getting to know each other and an argument here or there was bound to happen. But tonight was supposed to be about us taking our relationship to the next stage. Instead of being together and happy, here we were in my car, wrapping up a fight.
We needed to move forward. To connect. Literally.
And I didn’t want to delay any longer. Jess would never push to have sex with Roe at home but at some point that was going to happen. We couldn’t limit our sexual activities to only the nights when she was gone, so we might as well start tonight.
“I really want you to stay the night tonight. No more waiting,” I blurted.
His hands jerked in mine. Clearly, he had not been expecting me to say that. Honestly, I was a bit surprised myself.
His eyes were staring at me intensely, like he was holding back from ripping me out of my seat and having his way with me in the back of my car. In a flash he was back at the wheel and peeling away from the side of the road, driving to the farmhouse at warp speed.
He didn’t say a word but I knew exactly what he was thinking.
We’d be locking my bedroom door tonight.
“Don’t freak out, Georgia. Don’t freak out. It’s just sex. Sure, sex with the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your life. But still. It’s just sex. It will be fine. No reason to panic.”
I was giving myself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror.
It wasn’t helping.
Jess and I hadn’t spoken the rest of the way ba
ck to the farmhouse. I had been too busy planning how I could get Maisy out of there and Rowen to bed in record time.
Jess had given me a sexy smirk after parking the car and I’d winked at him before jumping out and moving quickly into the house.
After giving Maisy a quick hug and saying good-bye, I had ushered Roe upstairs for a bath. I’d breezed through bath and bedtime, so focused on my tasks that I hadn’t had time to start freaking out. But after Roe had fallen asleep during story time, I’d snuck out of her room and gone to my bathroom to get ready for bed.
Correction. Get ready for sex. Something I hadn’t had in a little over five years. And the last time, I’d gotten pregnant.
So here I was, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror. Telling Jess I wanted him to stay the night had been a huge effing mistake. All of the confidence I’d had in the car earlier had evaporated.
My hair was down and I was wearing a spaghetti-strap white tank top and a pair of light blue shorts. It was the raciest sleepwear I had.
I didn’t own sexy nightgowns, because I didn’t need them. Why would I? Besides Sunday when Jess stayed over, the only person to stay in my bed was Roe. And though she loved pretty things, I doubted she would truly appreciate an expensive silky lace chemise.
I’d heard him come into my bedroom earlier. Him and his perfectly sculpted muscles and strong, amazing body.
My body was not amazing. My breasts weren’t small but they weren’t big either. Just average. And those ten extra pounds were evenly distributed across my belly, hips, thighs and ass. I wasn’t fat but I wasn’t skinny either. Just average.
That was me. Average Gigi. And now I was moments away from being naked in front of not-so-average Jess.
Body issues aside, I was also freaking out because I hadn’t had sex in five years. Even though I’d wound up pregnant from a one-night stand at a friend’s wedding, I wasn’t promiscuous. Damn tuxedos and tequila.
Before Roe’s father, I’d had three lovers, none of whom had professed I was a sexual dynamo. In fact, Nate had told me repeatedly that I was horrible in bed. That his one night with me was the worst he’d ever had in his life.
I was sure Jess had more than four sexual partners in his past and certainly those women knew what they were doing. What if Jess dumped me after tonight because I was lousy at sex?
“Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out,” I chanted quietly.
“Georgia, you’ve been in there for thirty minutes talking to yourself. I’m coming in.”
I guess I hadn’t been so quiet after all.
Eff.
Before I could protest, the door opened and Jess walked directly to me, fitting himself at my back. He leaned down to talk softly in my ear, resting his chin on my shoulder.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing,” I lied.
“Georgia.”
“I’m fine,” I lied again.
We stared at each other through the mirror for a few moments until I was no longer looking at our reflection. Jess spun me around and I was now looking at his naked chest. I didn’t get to look at it for long because seconds later, he bent down, hoisted me at the back of my thighs and carried me out of the bathroom. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders so I wouldn’t fall as he hauled me straight to bed.
He dropped me on my back and followed me down as we both sank into the soft mattress. I was about to warn him that this was likely going to be the worst sex of his life when his mouth came down hard on top of mine.
Jess took control of my mouth with his, and even if I could have remembered what I was going to say, speech would have eluded me. All of my nervous energy was suddenly replaced with heated desire. Right now, my body was in control and it needed Jess.
My brain could process all of that other stuff later.
We kissed with no hesitation. We didn’t need to rein ourselves in tonight because finally, we weren’t going to stop.
Jess left my mouth and started kissing my neck. He sucked and kissed down my jaw to my collarbone. I was already hot from the kiss, but the farther he progressed down my neck, the more I ignited. My sex was throbbing like never before and I was taking deep, labored breaths, trying to suck in enough oxygen so that I wouldn’t pass out.
“Did you lock the door?” I asked breathlessly.
Jess murmured, “Uh-huh,” against my neck, dragging his tongue over my earlobe. His teeth bit it lightly before he sucked it into his mouth, sending a shiver straight to my core.
I moaned quietly and sank into the bed, stretching out my neck to give him better access.
His kisses trailed lower on my chest and down my sternum until he leaned back away from me. I instantly missed the heat and weight of his body on top of mine.
He grabbed the hem of my tank, and with a whoosh, my top was gone.
I fell back into the bed and he splayed his hands at my sides. Those bright blue eyes of his were heated, taking me in. With another whoosh, my shorts and gray lace panties were gone too.
I lay there bare for him, my legs wide, bracketing his thighs.
Again his beautiful eyes roamed my body, but this time, he whispered, “True beauty.”
My breath hitched, and my heart beat so hard in my chest it hurt. I hoped and wished with all I had that he was sincere. That he thought I was beautiful. That it wasn’t just a line.
Because those powerful words were like a balm to my heart, healing what had been broken in the past. I desperately wanted them to be real.
He came back down on top of me and took my mouth in another deep, wet kiss. My hands lifted to the sides of his face and my fingers pulled at his hair.
He broke apart from me once more to take off his black boxer briefs. I caught a glimpse of his cock as he moved back on top of me. Jess was beautiful. Every inch. And there were a lot of inches to admire.
My eyes met his as he settled his hips between my thighs. His arms at my sides, his weight on his elbows, his hands touching my face. He gently caressed both sides of my jaw with his thumbs while looking deeply into my eyes.
Jess communicated a lot with his eyes. Anger. Humor. Affection.
And in that moment, his eyes told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world. A woman desired and cherished.
“You ready, baby?” he whispered.
“Yes.” I nodded.
He studied me for a moment to make sure I wasn’t lying. Then his mouth came down on mine again. There would be no more talking or gentle caresses.
I battled his tongue with my own as our kiss became a frenzied mashing of lips and teeth.
His hands left my face and traveled to my breasts, stroking both thumbs across my nipples and sending a shock wave between my legs. The feel of his hard cock pushed up against my sex made me soaking wet and ready for him. His mouth broke from mine as he sucked a nipple into his mouth. Trailing wet kisses across my chest, he turned his attention to the other one and gave it a strong suck and a tug with his teeth. One of his hands traveled down my stomach to my sex. He stroked me gently, rubbing my wetness around as he kept at my nipples with his mouth. I turned my head so I could moan into the pillow as I savored the feel of him playing with me.
When he slipped a finger inside me, I went from being hot to on fire. I was so primed and ready I ached with the need for him to be inside me.
“Jess,” I moaned as my fingers tugged his hair.
He abandoned my nipples to grab the foil packet from the nightstand. He sat back on his calves, straddling me, and pulled on the condom. Coming back down on top of me, he put one elbow in the bed beside my head while his hand guided the tip of his cock to my entrance. He flicked it over my clit once and then again, each time making me tremble.
Slowly, he pushed inside. He’d move in an inch and then back out. Again and again. It was torture. Amazing torture. The ache in my core was so strong I grabbed and clawed at the sheets under my hands.
I groaned as he
pulled out again. His mouth formed a sexy grin before he pushed himself in to the root with one powerful thrust.
My back arched off the bed while my eyes squeezed shut. Jess was big and I needed a second to adjust to his size.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned. “So tight.”
“Move, Jess.” I caught my breath just enough to issue the order.
He pushed his hips hard against me, sending his cock so far back it bottomed out. Then he was moving in and out in a steady rhythm. Over and over. With each inward thrust, he hit a spot inside me that made my legs tremble. My body was shaking, building toward a blinding release.
And then I was there.
He reached down and found my clit with his middle finger. The second he touched me, a rush of heat traveled through my body and I exploded with the hardest orgasm of my life. White spots erupted behind my eyes and my body clenched around him, pulsing intensely while my hands held tight to the sheets beside me. I clamped my mouth shut, biting my bottom lip to hold in a scream.
Jess kept thrusting through my orgasm until he dropped his chest to mine and buried his face in my neck and came.
We stayed connected, my legs wrapped around his hips, while we both worked to catch our breath.
He gave me a tight squeeze with his arms as he pulled out, then went to the bathroom to get rid of the condom.
I stared at the ceiling for a minute before searching for my clothes. I’d managed to shut off my brain while we were having sex, mostly because Jess’s mouth, hands and cock had shut it off for me. But now it was working again. And all I could think about was how effing incredible that had been. Like nothing I’d ever felt before.
I was really hoping that Jess thought so too. That I wasn’t a disappointment.
All of my nervous energy and anxiety was back in full force.
With my clothes back on, I burrowed under the covers. My back was to his side of the bed as I lay there, freaking the hell out.
I heard Jess come out of the bathroom but I didn’t turn to watch him grab his briefs and pull them on. I didn’t turn when he climbed into bed. And I didn’t turn when he shut off the light on the end table.