by Devney Perry
“I didn’t start it, Jess.”
“Sorry. Shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. And I’m sorry I yelled.”
I relaxed my weight into him.
“I feel like I can’t talk about the farmhouse or my history here without you getting freaked. I don’t know what to do other than move you out to get you to understand what we have is not about the house,” he said.
“It took me a while, but I get it. You’re with us for us. For me,” I said. “I want you to be able to share. This place means a lot to you. To both of us. Don’t hold back because you think it will freak me out. It won’t.”
“Okay.” He held my eyes in the mirror.
“You can’t talk over me. I can’t stand it,” I said. It reminded me of Nate and the last thing I wanted was to see any similarities between him and Jess.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I hate fighting.”
“Me too,” he said. “Are we done?”
I nodded.
“Good,” he said right before spinning me around and lowering his mouth to mine.
He kissed me until I could barely stand on my own, my legs weak and wobbling. Then he held me up and kissed me some more until I was so turned on, I begged him to take me to bed.
“Time’s up, Freckles,” Jess whispered.
Like most nights, I was tucked into Jess’s side and we were talking quietly before we fell asleep. Him speaking to the top of my head, me talking into his chest.
“Time’s up for what?” I asked.
“I feel like we’re getting you there. To a spot where you know I won’t hurt you. Where you know you can trust me. But something’s still out there. I know you’ve still got doubts. I need to know what you’re guarding yourself from. Guessing it has to do with Roe’s dad, but you gotta tell me.”
I took in a slow breath, completely filling my lungs and holding it until it burned. Then I blew it out and sagged into Jess’s side. This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation but he was right, he needed to know.
“I got drunk at a friend’s wedding. Had a one-night stand with a groomsman. Got pregnant.”
“I’m assuming he didn’t take it well,” Jess said.
“That would be an understatement. Had I known what an asshole he was, I never would have slept with him. But I don’t regret it because I got Roe.”
“What’d he do?”
“His family had money. They thought I was after it. Or that I was trying to trap him into marriage. I don’t know. But they just attacked me. Said Roe wasn’t his. Called me a gold digger and a whore. When I emailed Nate to tell him we were having a girl, they filed harassment charges against me. It was crazy and went on for months and months. Finally when she was born we could do a paternity test.”
“Then what?” Jess asked.
“They offered me money to go away.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“Yeah. Nice people,” I deadpanned. “I told them they could keep it as long as Nate signed away his rights and promised never to contact me or Rowen.”
Jess stayed quiet for a while, letting my story sink in. “What’s his last name?” he finally asked.
“Fletcher. Why?”
“Just want to make sure that if I ever meet him, I shake his hand. The dumb fuck brought the most beautiful woman in the world into my life. Owe him my gratitude,” Jess said.
I squeezed him a little tighter.
“That’s sweet, honey. But if you ever meet him, I’d much prefer several punches to the face in lieu of a handshake. Okay?”
He chuckled. “Anything for my girl.”
“Hi, Sheriff,” I called, walking into Jess’s office.
“Freckles,” he rumbled, standing from his black leather desk chair to greet me.
“I think that desk gets messier every time I come and visit.”
He grunted before leaning down to deliver a quick kiss to my cheek.
One thing I liked about our relationship was that neither Jess nor I felt the need to go at each other in public. It’s not that I had a problem with couples who liked mauling one another in front of strangers. If they needed that for their relationship to work, more power to them. To each their own. Jess and I just didn’t need it.
We were more of a hand-holding, kiss on the cheek, arms around each other type of couple. And I liked it. Not that I didn’t like it when Jess attacked my mouth or hauled me around in the bedroom. I did. A lot.
But there was something special and sweet about his gentle touches when we were in public. I would feel his kiss on my cheek for hours, the tingles lingering from where he brushed his soft lips to my skin.
I was visiting the station to try and convince Jess that we should go out tonight with Maisy and Everett. Ever since the first Mustangs game, Maisy had been asking repeatedly when we could have a double date. I had been putting her off, not because I didn’t want to go but because there was a lot of stuff going on. Jess working extra shifts when he didn’t have a dispatcher. Nights spent at my dining room table crafting Halloween decorations. Cleaning up the mess caused by the demolition of eleven pumpkins.
But Maisy had asked me again this week and I didn’t want to put her off again. There were only two obstacles standing in the way of a night out: finding a babysitter and convincing Jess. If I could hurdle them both, I told her we’d be up for it.
Finding the babysitter, which I’d thought would be the more difficult of my two tasks, turned out to be a snap. One of Rowen’s teachers at Quail Hollow had volunteered.
Now all I needed to do was get Jess on board with an evening at the Silver Dollar Saloon. We’d have a few drinks, share some laughs and check out the Prescott bar scene.
So here I was, standing in Jess’s office with a box of donuts in my hand.
“Whatcha got there?” he asked.
“Donuts. Cops like donuts.”
He eyed me suspiciously. “You brought donuts? Why?”
“Can’t one of Prescott’s newest citizens bring the local law enforcement crew a box of donuts to show her gratitude for their service?”
“Georgia,” he grumbled.
“Okay. It’s bribery. Maisy really wants us to meet up with her and Everett tonight for a couple of drinks. Can we? Please?” I shoved the box of donuts in his face, hoping that the amazing smell of freshly baked maple bars would make him say yes.
“What about Roe?” he asked.
“Covered. The babysitter is coming over at seven-thirty,” I said.
“Already got a sitter, huh?”
Damn. “Ah . . . yes?”
He drew in a long breath but on the exhale said, “Fine.”
“Yay!” I shouted. I stood on my tiptoes, reaching for a kiss, and just before our lips touched, I saw his small grin.
Jess grabbed the box of donuts and went back to his chair. Popping the lid off the box, he inhaled a maple bar in five huge bites.
“How’s the day off?” he asked, wiping crumbs from his mouth.
“Excellent.”
Since the move, I hadn’t taken a single day off work and I needed to start using my vacation time. So today, I was having a Gigi Friday. Roe was at preschool and I had the day to myself.
It was only ten in the morning and I had already cleaned the farmhouse, gotten groceries, including a stop at the bakery for donuts, and gassed up the Explorer. I didn’t have any chores left to do but maybe a load of laundry. So after lunch I was planning to bake cookies, paint my toenails and curl up in front of the fireplace with a book.
Bliss.
“Want to go to lunch with me today?” I asked.
“Probably should have asked me before I ate that bar,” he said.
“Hmm . . . well, I needed you to have the donut so you’d agree to take me out tonight. If that means I have to forgo a lunch date, so be it.”
He chuckled. “Pick me up in a couple hours. I’m just working on paperwork today to get caught up. I’ll be going crazy by noon.”
“You got it, Sheriff,” I said, giving him a two-finger salute.
“Okay, honey. From the looks of the disaster that is your desk, you’ve got a lot going on. I’ll drop these off at dispatch on my way out.”
Standing up out of his rather uncomfortable guest chair, I leaned over to grab the box of donuts.
His hand slapped down so fast on top of the box it made me jump back.
“Don’t even think about it,” he said.
Holding my hands up in surrender, I backed out of the room. Then I blew him a kiss and left the station.
On a whim, I popped downtown to the salon. Miraculously, they were able to get me in for a pedicure with no appointment. Sitting in a massage chair, I let the hot water soaking my feet work its magic and relax my mind.
Gigi Fridays were the absolute best.
“I love this place!” I told Maisy, sitting down at our table. Jess and I had just arrived at the Silver Dollar Saloon.
The bar was a huge horseshoe taking up the middle of the square room. The walls behind it were covered in mirrors and liquor bottles. There were old, rickety stools everywhere and not a matching pair to be seen. But the coolest part was the bar top itself. The whole thing was covered in shiny copper.
The bar was dark and musty and the cement floors were stained and slightly sticky. If I had to use the bathroom, I would absolutely be hovering my ass over the toilet. There was no way my bare bum was ever going to touch a surface in this place. And even though it was now a non-smoking bar, the decades of smoke from years past had seeped into the walls. When we left, I’d smell like an old ashtray.
It was effing awesome!
“I’m so glad you guys are here!” Maisy said, doing a fast assessment of my outfit. “Nice jacket.”
I was in a pair of black skinny jeans, a cream blouse and nude heels. Over my top I had pulled on my favorite tan leather jacket.
“What do you want?” Jess asked.
“A vodka cranberry with a lime, of course.”
“Of course,” he mocked, heading off to the bar.
We sat and visited with Maisy and Everett for a while. Mostly Maisy and I talked while Jess and Everett sat and listened. Everett was so quiet, after an hour, I didn’t think he had said more than four words despite Maisy’s and my unsuccessful attempts to draw him into the conversation. I’d never seen him act so shy.
While Jess only had two beers, he made sure that my drink glass was never empty.
After an hour, Maisy and Everett called it quits. Maisy seemed disappointed (and a little miffed at Everett) to be leaving so soon. But Everett had been acting so strange it had become awkward.
“Wanna play pool?” Jess asked after I hugged Maisy good-bye.
“Yeah!”
My bottomless drink glass was starting to get to me so there was a good chance I was shouting rather than talking in a normal decibel range. But I didn’t care. The jukebox in the corner had been going all night, playing classic country as loud as they could get it without driving people away. At least I wasn’t louder than the music.
As I followed Jess, I grabbed a fistful of his white thermal Henley, then shoved my other hand in his back jeans pocket. I was buzzed and happy. Doing a little groping of Jess’s hot ass seemed totally appropriate.
We didn’t stay at the bar late.
After sending the babysitter home, I pulled Jess upstairs and undressed him as quickly as I could. He let me take control and ride him until I came. Then he flipped me over and took over until he came. We were still primed so we went at it again in the shower.
Buzzed sex with Jess was off-the-charts hot.
Crawling into bed, I assumed my standard sleeping position at Jess’s side.
“Where’d you learn to play pool?” he asked.
“Ben taught me.”
He huffed before his chest started shaking.
“What’s funny?”
“Guess Ben refined his teaching technique between the time he taught me and the time he taught you. You’re good, baby. Never lost a game to anyone before. Except Ben,” he said.
My smile stretched across my face. “I think Ben used to let me win, just so I would keep playing.”
“Maybe.” Jess grinned.
I crossed my hands on his chest, resting my chin on my knuckles so I could maintain my view of Jess’s amazing blue eyes while we talked. “You know what I’ve been wondering? Ben said in his letter that he loved it here. In Prescott, and in the house. And he had you. Why would he move to Spokane?”
Jess cupped the back of my head and wrapped his other arm around my shoulders.
Oh no. That wasn’t a good sign.
“Ben was married.”
I sucked in a short breath. I’d had no idea the man who had been like a grandfather to me had ever been married.
“His wife, Claire, was great. Sweet. Kind. Loving. Spent time at church making meals for the shut-ins. Made quilts for folks stuck in the hospital. Always made dinner for me if I was over, enough for me to take plenty home when I left. Always taking care of people.” He gave me a squeeze. “Kind of like you.”
I tipped my chin to give him a light kiss on his chest.
“I asked Ben once why they didn’t have kids. I guess Claire couldn’t. Always figured that was part of the reason he took me under his wing,” Jess said.
“Hmm . . . maybe,” I whispered but I knew it wasn’t true. Ben could have had a hundred kids and still would have looked out for Jess. That’s just the type of man he was.
“Anyway. Claire was having some problems with one of her legs. Can’t remember what. But they took her in for surgery. I remember coming over after she was home and bringing her flowers. She looked happy, rested. Just fine. Then two days later, a blood clot worked itself loose and traveled to her brain. Had a massive stroke and died.”
Tears started running down my face, falling onto his chest.
“Ben loved Claire. With everything he had. She was his world. I don’t think he could take being here without her. So about a month after she died, he found a job in Spokane and moved. Didn’t hardly take a thing with him. Donated most everything to Claire’s church. Asked me to take over care of the farmhouse.”
I was heartbroken for Ben. I wish I had known but I understood why he hadn’t told me. Even after twenty years, the loss of his wife had still been too painful to discuss.
“It makes sense why he kept this place,” I whispered, drying my eyes.
“Yeah. Claire’s buried over by the big grove of trees. The one on the north corner of the property.”
“Oh my god. She is?” I whispered.
“Yeah.”
I dropped my forehead to Jess’s chest. “In Ben’s will, he asked to be cremated and his remains given to me. His will said to keep them until I knew where to put them. I didn’t know what he meant. So I packed them up and now they’re up in the attic. Now we can put them where they belong.”
The ache in my chest got stronger and I gave in to a new batch of tears. Tears of loss for Ben. For me. Tears of elation that Ben could finally rest with his beloved Claire.
Jess stroked my damp hair and kissed the top of my head. He whispered reassurances that everything would be all right. And he held me in his strong arms until my crying subsided and turned into small hiccups.
“Will you take me there tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Thanks, honey.”
“Anything for my girl.”
Jess
“This is a beautiful place,” Georgia said.
We stood by Claire’s white tombstone, surrounded by a tall grove of trees with swaying prairie grasses at our feet, the snowcapped mountains as a backdrop.
“It sure is,” I agreed.
I often thought of Ben and what he’d taught me when I was young. All of the things a father would teach a son. The most important lesson Ben had ever taught me was the one he’d done without words. It was how he loved his wife.
Ben didn’
t need anything in the world as long as he had his Claire. When he was around her, he’d light up.
There had never been a woman that sparked a light in my soul. Not until Georgia.
It started the first night I came to the farmhouse and she was standing on the porch, giving me shit. Her mass of hair piled in a mess. Wearing the ugliest fucking sweater I’d ever seen in my life. One I’d seen her pull on countless times since.
She was the light I’d been looking for.
Now I just needed to make sure she knew it. That I undid all of the damage that asshole had done. And then I could work to make her as happy as Ben had made Claire.
“What the eff, Jess!” Georgia shouted. “You’re just telling me this now? That was weeks ago. You should have told me then. How could you keep this from me?”
She was in the kitchen, banging and clashing pots and pans around as she made dinner.
I’d just told Georgia about Wes’s visit to the station on the Sunday that I had snapped at Rowen.
Wes had just been messing with me, so I’d planned on keeping it a secret. I didn’t want her freaked out and worried.
But, thanks to Milo, she’d found out tonight.
Just because I didn’t expect Wes to make a move didn’t mean I hadn’t taken precautions. Someone from the station would watch over Quail Hollow each afternoon until Georgia collected Rowen.
Usually, I made a point to drive down myself. I’d park a few blocks down and watch until they were both safely driving home. But if I couldn’t do it, I asked Sam or Bryant to take my place. But today we’d all been busy so I’d asked Milo.
I’d given him a quick briefing and asked him to be discreet, which to him meant standing outside the Quail Hollow door and escorting Georgia to her car. Of course when she had asked him what was going on, he’d spilled.
Fucking Milo.
If I didn’t like him so much, I’d kick his ass.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just didn’t want you to worry,” I said.
“You don’t get to decide that on your own. You can’t keep making decisions for me, Jess! Especially with something like this. When it involves my safety or Rowen’s, you don’t get to walk all over me.”