by Devney Perry
We were sledding in the foothills of the mountains behind the farmhouse.
The hill Jess had found us wasn’t too big, but for Roe and her purple plastic sled, it was just right. She was bundled up into so many layers she could barely waddle her way up this hill as it was. So far, Jess had carried her sled up the hill and ridden down with her while I’d stood at the bottom and taken pictures.
Now it was my turn.
Roe and I trudged up the hill, hand in hand. At the top, she promptly settled her little bum in the sled as I maneuvered behind her and stretched my legs around her sides.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Yay! Let’s go!” She cheered and started rocking her body, trying to inch the sled over the edge.
I planted my gloved hand in the snow and gave us a heave.
We flew down the hill. The fluffy snow flew up and blasted us in our faces. Roe bounced in the air whenever we hit a bump. As we sped past Jess at the bottom, I put out my feet and slowed us down. Then I grabbed Roe and toppled us sideways, laughing and tickling her as we rolled around in the snow.
Breathless, I lay on my back and looked up into the blue, sunny sky.
Winter in Montana was wondrous. Cold, but majestic. Everything sparkled like the whole world was covered in glitter. And it was bright, almost blinding.
I’d worried that winters would be cold and depressing, that for the better half of the year, we’d be stuck inside wearing wool socks and huddling under blankets. Not that it wasn’t cold. It was. But the sunshine made it seem warmer than it was, and as long as it wasn’t a blizzard, Rowen and I could spend plenty of time outside this winter enjoying the crisp air.
“You alive?” Jess asked, standing over me to shade my face.
“Yep. How are you?”
“I’m good.” He smiled.
I smiled back before turning to Roe on the ground beside me. “Let’s go again.”
When my alarm went off at six o’clock, Jess rolled away from me and buried his face in the pillows.
“Wake up,” I ordered, kissing the space between his shoulder blades.
“Georgia, you don’t need my help getting the prime rib in the oven.” He yawned.
“It doesn’t need to go in for another hour. But we need to get up so we can wake Roe and open presents.”
“What? No. She can come wake us up,” he said into the pillow.
“Jess, this is our tradition.”
“New tradition. We sleep in on Christmas.”
“Until my mom passed, I can’t remember a single Christmas, even when I was in college, that she didn’t wake me up early and drag me out of bed to start opening presents. And I loved that. I loved it so much that I have always done the same for Rowen,” I said.
He waited about ten seconds before throwing his legs over the side of the bed to roll out. Then he grabbed me under my armpits, hauling me up so I was kneeling in the bed.
“You wake her up, I’ll start coffee.” He kissed my forehead and moved into the bathroom.
Hours later, coffee cup in hand, I was surrounded by a mountain of crumpled wrapping paper and opened boxes. Jess and I were sitting on the office floor and had just watched my little girl open her Christmas presents. She had shouted with delight each time she discovered what was under the paper. Then she’d take her gift, hug it tight and welcome it to her house.
She was hilarious. My cheeks hurt from smiling.
No matter what would happen the rest of the day, I knew this Christmas in the farmhouse would rank as my all-time second best Christmas—the first being the last Christmas with my mom, which had also been my first with Rowen.
Jess had completely spoiled Roe with a bunch of smaller gifts and his big-ticket item, a new iPad. She’d been so happy when she opened it that she’d thrown herself into Jess’s arms and kissed him at least twenty times on the cheek. He’d started tickling her and they’d both ended up laughing together, collapsed on the floor in the middle of the paper mountain.
I’d snapped a quick picture and unless it was blurry, it was going up in the living room next to the photo of Mom and Rowen on their Christmas morning.
“Time to start putting your presents away and then we need to get dressed, baby girl,” I told Roe.
“Okay,” she chimed.
“I’m gonna hit the shower, then head over to the house and pick up a few things,” Jess said.
“No!” Rowen shouted and clung to one of Jess’s legs. “Don’t leave.”
“Relax, I’m coming back, little bit. I’ve got a couple more presents stashed at home that I need to bring over.”
She jumped up and down with excitement at the mention of more presents.
But I was not excited. I was nauseous. My skin felt cold and my hands were getting clammy. The feeling came over me suddenly and it started when Jess had said the word “home.”
I hated that he called that house in town his home. He was wrong. His home was here at the farmhouse. With us.
“Rowen, can you please start taking your presents upstairs?” I mumbled but my voice sounded weak and crackly.
She agreed and piled her little arms full of new stuff, waddling her way toward the door and up the stairs.
“What’s wrong?” Jess asked.
“This is your home,” I said in my weird voice.
“What?” he asked.
I inhaled a deep breath and found my regular voice. “This is your home.”
He stared back at me for a few moments, unmoving, either confused by my declaration or not yet ready to make that big of a step in our relationship. I hoped it was the former because I was one hundred percent ready for Jess to live with us. He practically was already.
But I didn’t want to freak him out, not on Christmas, so I started backpedaling.
“I mean . . . I want you to think of it like your home. And if someday you wanted to move in officially, well . . . that would be great. But if you’re not ready for that, if it’s too soon, I completely understand. We can just—”
Jess stopped my rambling by slamming his lips down on mine and immediately taking advantage of my open mouth. His hands framed my face and the sickness vanished from my body. I was feeling just fine.
I was feeling effing awesome.
He wanted to live here with us and make this his home. I was so overjoyed and relieved that I latched onto his shoulders with my hands and pulled myself into his big body, slanting my head so we could melt into each other.
He thoroughly kissed me with passion and love, telling me without words how much my asking for this house to be his home meant to him. I poured as much feeling and emotion into our kiss as I could. My body started tingling all over and I forgot to breathe.
Jess pulled away from my mouth when Rowen marched into the room and asked, “Are you guys kissing? Again?”
“Yep,” we said simultaneously, our faces pressed together, smiling.
“You guys sure kiss a lot. Why do grown-ups kiss on the lips? Do you like kissing? How do you breathe? Did Jess get his spit on you, Mommy?”
As she blathered, she collected more presents to take upstairs.
I sucked in a few deep breaths between my giggles but kept the huge smile on my face.
“I take it you’re going to move in?”
“Yeah,” Jess said.
“Good.”
“I’m gonna take my shower and head into town. Maybe grab the rest of my clothes while I’m there. Tomorrow, we can clear out the garage. Not much else over there I want. That okay with you?” he asked.
“No.”
He tilted his head and his eyebrows came together.
“I want your washer and dryer,” I said.
He grinned. “Anything else?”
“My Christmas present.” I held out my hand, palm up. “Fork it over, Sheriff.”
“Bedroom. Drawer in my end table,” he said.
“Yours is—”
“In the top of your spice cabinet.”
“Wha
t are you doing in my spice . . . never mind. Since you know where yours are at, you can go get them yourself. It will save me from getting out the stepladder.”
I raced upstairs as he padded to the kitchen. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I opened the drawer.
Inside was a beautifully wrapped, long, skinny box. The gold foil paper was tied with an intricate bow made of silver, gold and white threads.
I carefully pulled off the threads and paper. When I peered inside the box, my eyes blurred with tears.
“Do you like them?” Jess asked from behind me.
I whirled around and saw him in the doorway.
“Shit.” At the sight of my tears, he rushed to my side.
“They’re beautiful, Jess. I love them. Thank you.”
Inside the box was a necklace and earrings I would wear all the time. The necklace was on a thin, white-gold chain. Dead center was a single solitaire diamond, the jewel at least a carat. Not too big and ostentatious but certainly not a chip. When I put it on, the diamond would sit perfectly at the base of my throat.
It was exactly the type of necklace I would have picked out for myself. I could wear it to work and not worry about it hanging too low and getting in the way.
The earrings were two diamond solitaire studs. The stones were slightly smaller than the necklace’s diamond and unless the occasion called for a larger pair of earrings, I would wear these almost every day too. Even on pajama days.
“Jess, these are too much,” I said.
“Not too much at all.”
“These were not cheap. Plus everything you bought for Roe . . .” I trailed off, mentally tallying up the sum he had spent on us for Christmas.
“I’ve been waiting thirty-four years to find the right woman. Finally did. Now I get to spoil her, so just get used to it.”
“Why?” I whispered.
“Why, what?”
“Why me? Why’d you pick me as your girl? I mean, I’m just me and you’re . . . well . . . you. Perfect.”
He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few moments. When he opened them, his eyes had changed. They were no longer soft and gentle. They were firm and determined.
“I’m not sure where you got it in that head of yours that I’m too good for you. Because the way I see it, it’s the other way around. And it stops today. No more.”
Jess’s hands framed my face, his thumbs stroking my jaw gently.
“Baby, you’ve got the biggest heart of any person I’ve ever met. I’ve never known a soul who would have taken on an old man just so he wouldn’t be alone. Someone needs help, the first thing you think about is how you can do it. Christ, you offered to move a stranger in with you so he’d have a place to live after his house burned down. And you’ve raised the most precious little girl on the planet. When you look at her, you see beauty, don’t you?”
“Well . . . of course. She’s my daughter.”
He shook his head a couple of times. “She’s you,” he said. “In every way, she’s you. When you look at her and get that feeling of pride in your chest? When you look at her face and into her eyes and it makes your heart hurt she’s so beautiful? Georgia, that’s how I feel when I look at you.”
His words, describing exactly how I felt about my daughter, moved me so deeply that I started crying again, completely unable to stop the emotion.
Swiping the tears as they fell, he whispered, “I love you. Everything. How you don’t back down during an argument. How you take care of Rowen. Take care of me. That you don’t mind including my mother. How you invite my sister over for Christmas minutes after she treats you badly. So let me buy you whatever the fuck I feel like for Christmas, birthdays or just whenever. Okay?”
I nodded and sniffled.
“Okay.”
Jess’s words penetrated deep into my heart.
We’d been together for months and I had always doubted us. But we made sense. I thought he was perfect. He was. But what his words finally made me realize was that he thought I was perfect too. We were perfect together.
Perfect sense.
I sniffled one last time and twisted my head out of his hands to get my necklace. After I put it on, I screwed on my earrings.
He lifted a finger to the jewel at my throat and muttered, “True beauty.”
My throat tightened again and if I didn’t change the subject, I’d start blubbering like a baby again. And I didn’t want to cry anymore. Not on Christmas.
“I didn’t know we were going big for Christmas, honey. I didn’t get you much,” I said.
Compared to the jewelry, what I’d gotten him was peanuts. I’d bought him just a pair of nice leather gloves, a new plaid flannel shirt and a framed picture of him and Rowen for work. Just little things.
He chuckled for a second but then it grew and grew until he was full-on belly laughing. His big, thunderous sound filled the bedroom.
“What? What’s funny?”
He shook his head and reached out a finger to touch the tip of my nose. “You gave me a house today. I’d say I’m the one who has some catching up to do.”
“Oh,” I muttered.
“Yeah, ‘oh.’ ”
I hadn’t thought about the farmhouse as a gift but I could see how he would. “I love you too, you know?” I whispered.
“Yeah. I know,” he whispered back.
Jess
“Thanks for taking Ma home,” I told my sister as we stood together on the farmhouse porch.
We were waiting outside while Ma collected her things and said good-bye to Georgia and Rowen.
Georgia had cooked us an amazing Christmas dinner, the first homemade Christmas I’d ever had since Ma and I normally went to a local steakhouse. After our meal, we’d sat and visited. We’d given Ma her gifts and Georgia had even found the time to get something for Lissy too.
I was glad that Lissy had dropped her bitchy attitude and been so nice to Georgia and Rowen tonight. My sister came across badly at times, but she had a good heart. I wasn’t sure why she put up such a front. Maybe it was because of Dad. Or Wes. She’d never talked to me about it, so I had no clue.
“No problem. Thank you for having us over. It was nice. Really nice,” Felicity said.
“Best Christmas I’ve ever had.”
“You love her?” she asked.
“With all my heart.”
“I’m happy for you, Jess. I like her. And the kid.”
“You still working from home?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Uh . . . yes. Why?”
“You could work from Prescott. Got a house in town that’s yours if you want it,” I said.
The only thing that could make my day better would be to convince Lissy to move home. I hadn’t realized just how much I missed her these last fourteen years. But having her back, especially now that I’d found Georgia and Rowen, it would be like having all the pieces of my heart close by. My family.
“It’s been strange, being back here. I guess . . . well, I guess I thought that it would be different. Unfamiliar. That things would have changed so much it wouldn’t feel like home. And there are some new things but for the most part . . . I don’t know. It still feels like it used to,” she said.
“Think about it?” I asked.
“I will. But if I do decide to move back, I won’t take your house. Thanks though.”
“It’s not like I’m living there, Lissy.”
“When did you move in here?” she asked.
“Today. I’m getting the last of my stuff tomorrow.”
“Huh,” she replied and then started laughing.
“What?”
“I bet old Ben Coppersmith took one look at her and knew she’d be perfect for you,” Felicity said, still laughing and looking at Georgia through the windows.
Fuck. Me.
I hadn’t thought about it like that, but she was probably right. Christ, I even remembered Ben asking me from time to time if I’d met anyone yet.
“Sell your h
ouse, Jess. Put the money away for the kid’s college fund. There’s a lot I would have to decide on to move back. A lot of history to overcome. So we’ll see. But don’t get your hopes up. Okay? I have a life in Seattle. I like it there.”
“Okay. I’m happy as long as you’ll consider it.”
“I promise.”
Our conversation ended when Ma made her way through the front door. Everyone said their good-byes and I helped carry presents and a huge box of leftover food to Felicity’s rental car.
Walking back up the steps, I pulled Georgia tight to my side while Rowen rested high on my hip. Together, the three of us waved good-bye to my mother and sister.
Then we went inside to enjoy some time together. Just the three of us.
My family in my house.
Without a doubt, it was the best Christmas I’d ever had.
Gigi
“Hello,” I said into the phone.
“Gigi?”
“Hi!” I said to Maisy. “How are you? Did you have a nice Christmas?”
I was excited that she had called. I hadn’t talked to Maisy since before Wes’s funeral. I was missing her bright and sunny smile that I’d come to look forward to seeing each day.
“Uh . . . no. Not really. Do you think I could come over?” she asked.
Maisy’s voice was flat, without its usual exuberance.
“Sure. We’re not doing much today so come on over whenever. Jess and Rowen left a little bit ago to go to his house in town. He’s officially moving in so he went over to grab a load of stuff.”
“Oh, that’s, ah, great. I guess if it’s okay, I’ll come over now?” she said.
I’d expected her to be screaming into the phone. She had been pulling for Jess and me from the beginning. The fact he was moving into the farmhouse should have sent her into joyful hysterics.
Something was definitely not right in the world of Maisy Holt.
Maisy arrived five minutes after her call and so far had yet to look me in the eyes. She dodged my attempt to give her a hug and kept speaking to her feet.
“Would you like some coffee?” I asked as she sat down in an oversized living room chair.
“Yes, please,” she said. “No. Wait. No coffee. I don’t want coffee.”