I closed my eyes against the spinning. I let myself get swept away in the things I always wanted. To the smiling toothless grin of a baby who looked just like me. The baby that Taylor and my mother took from me. My baby. The baby who had to die because Taylor had become careless after Rhett left and stopped using protection. The whack job that did the abortion had butchered it, and I’d had to have multiple emergency surgeries to try and repair the damage. And in the end nothing could save my uterus, which was why I could never have kids again. But I pushed all that from my mind and imagined the baby, my baby. I thought of how it would have loved me unconditionally, how it would have been mine. The little eyes looking up at me in wonder. And then Rhett was there too, smiling at us, holding out his hand for me to take with love in his eyes. Love.
In the few moments before I was gone I basked in that love. Real love that wasn’t hindered and clouded by all the poison I seemed to carry. Maybe I would see them both again. Maybe my baby would greet me at the gates of heaven. Maybe it would forgive me for not being able to save it from the monsters that were supposed to love me. Maybe one day Rhett would be there too and I could finally have my happy ending?
But then I remembered who I was. I remembered the things I had done. The men I had fucked. The guys I had killed. I could feel the blood as it slithered down my arm and pooled on the cool tile floor.
I would never see my baby and I wouldn’t see Rhett either… because I wasn’t going to heaven.
I was going to hell.
Thank you for reading Filthy 3! I hope you enjoyed it. This one was a very hard one for me to write and I hope you will stick with Faye and Rhett for the next installment.
Be looking for Filthy 4 on November 3, 2014.
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www.MeganDMartin.blogspot.com
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Faye’s struggle in this portion of the serial is not something new and if you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please consider calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They have amazing resources and are always willing and available to help.
1-800-273-2755
Filthy 3: A Dark Erotic Serial Page 5