by Anthea Sharp
After closing - and bolting - the door, she stepped into the middle of the room. Tam’s place was slightly better than a shed, but to call it a house would be a stretch. It smelled musty, with an underlay of old grease and rust. The main room had a thin couch along one wall, with bedding pushed down at the bottom. In the corner was a sleeping-bag and worn pillow. Pretty obvious that Tam and his brother slept here. A bathroom was wedged in beside the kitchen, but it was too small to even qualify as a room.
Next to the sleeping area was an overflowing bookshelf, made from rough boards nailed together. Comics and computer repair schematics spilled out of the shelves in messy stacks, sandwiched in between old game manuals, kid stories and some novels. It reminded her of the other reason she was here - to give Tam the book in her satchel. And - her breath caught - to tell him about Feyland.
In front of the couch, taking up part of the floor, was spread a thin webwork of wires. Jennet took a careful step closer. They seemed to be attached to Tam’s gaming gloves. Was he doing some modifications? There was nothing he could do to make his gloves respond like the VirtuMax ones. He shouldn’t even try.
Tam came back into the room, closing his mom’s door quietly behind him. He folded his arms.
“So,” he said, “what do you want?”
Jennet tried not to look like his attitude was bothering her, but the unfriendliness in his voice and expression hurt. He’d gone back to being the wary stranger with hair in front of his eyes.
“Nice to see you, too,” she said. “I’m glad you didn’t get jumped by the crazies last night, or break your neck on the stairs, or something like that.”
“My mom came home,” he said, like that should explain everything.
Which in some ways it did. Obviously his mom was a wreck, and Tam was taking care of her. Jennet couldn’t blame him for missing school - it didn’t seem like he had much of a choice. Even though it had put her in a severe panic.
“We need to talk,” she said.
He gave a sharp nod. “You first.”
She swallowed. “Could we sit down?”
“Ok. Watch the wires.” He stepped over the eviscerated gaming gloves and pushed the bedding off the end of the couch, then perched there.
Jennet sat at the other end and leaned her satchel against her legs. She nodded at the floor. “Are you re-configuring your gloves?”
His expression tightened even more. “You could say that. The whole system is down for maintenance right now.”
“Oh. So - you can’t play at home?”
“Look.” He pushed the hair out of his eyes and gave her an angry glare. “Why did you come here?”
“I have something to show you.” She pulled the old book out of her bag and handed it to him.
He stared at the cover a long moment, and then opened the book, turning the pages with a care that eased some of her tension. Familiar faces flashed past. Fynodderee. Puck. At the illustration of Peg Powler, the water hag, he stopped.
“This is the inspiration for Feyland,” he said. “Where’d this book come from? Is it yours?”
“It belonged to the lead developer who worked with my Dad on the game. His name was Thomas Rimer.”
Tam slowly closed the book. “What happened to him?”
His expression was serious. Would he still trust her, still believe her, when she told him the truth?
“He…” Jennet twisted her fingers together. “My dad would tell you he died of a stroke, but… I think somehow the game killed him.”
“Wait a minute,” Tam said, rubbing at his forearm. “How can a game kill someone? That can’t happen, not literally.”
Jennet took a deep breath. “Feyland isn’t just a game, Tam. I know it sounds crazy, but I think it’s somehow connected to the Realm of Faerie.”
“Get real.” He pushed the book onto the couch and stood. “There’s no such thing.”
“If it’s not real then what is that book all about?” She pointed to Tales of Folk and Faerie, sprawled on the faded blanket.
“Fairy tales!” Tam jammed his hands in his pockets. “It’s just a book. Stories to frighten kids, made-up stuff - they’re not real.”
She used to think the same thing. “That book is hundreds of years old, Tam! Those stories aren’t made-up - they’re collected from real people who had real experiences with something beyond our world. Did you know that in Europe, stone circles used to be recognized as portals into Faerie? Burial mounds, sacred wells - all of those were doorways to somewhere else.”
“So?”
“So - those places are gone now.”
“And what?” He gave a disbelieving laugh. “Now the faeries are trying to get to us through games? You’re insane, Jennet.”
His disbelief stabbed through her. She’d thought - she’d hoped - that Tam would believe her. He was the only one who might.
A muffled cry from the bedroom made them both turn.
“Damn - she’s waking up.” He turned on her, a fierce look in his eyes. “You need to go. Now.”
“Fine. I’m leaving you the book.”
Another cry, louder this time, followed by a thump. Tam took her arm and marched her to the door. “I don’t have time for your wacko theories about Feyland, Jennet. Just, stay out of my life from now on. I have more important things to deal with.”
She blinked hard against the sting of tears. He wasn’t worth it.
Except that, he was.
“Tam—”
“Bye.” He closed the door in her face. The bolt chunked back into place. From inside came the sound of something breaking.
Jennet sank down on the top step. It took a minute for her to blink away her tears. School was almost out. She’d wait a little longer, then call George to pick her up. She didn’t think Tam would let her back inside. She wasn’t welcome, that was beyond clear, but she wasn’t about to walk back alone through the Exe.
She stared at the grey sky and took a shaky breath. All right. So much for her gamer hero. It was better this way - for both of them. Feyland was too dangerous, especially for someone who didn’t take it seriously.
She was on her own. Again.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
It took longer than usual for Tam to soothe his mom back into sleep. Maybe it had been his argument with Jennet, or just having someone else in their house, but she was restless and manic. He’d coaxed her back onto her meds, but it always took a while for them to kick in and stabilize her crazy mood swings.
He swept up the shards of the plate she’d broken. Next time he’d remember to bring her food on plastic dishes. It would be another two, three days before she’d be back to functioning. Then he and the Bug would have a mom for a while.
His brother was still young enough to treasure those times, but Tam had learned to hate them. A week or two, maybe a month, and she’d stop taking the drugs that made her sane. Then she’d steal whatever money was left and leave - only to stumble home a few days or weeks later. And then the cycle repeated.
He still couldn’t forgive her for taking the travel money he’d worked so hard to earn. The money that would have gotten him to the national gaming tournament. It had been his ticket out - prize money, sponsorships, a little fame. All gone. He still felt sick when he thought about it.
At least this time she had brought some cash. Tam didn’t ask where or how she got it, he just hid most of it. They needed food, and cheap fuel for the generator, and anything else they couldn’t put off. This time around, it would be a trip to the clinic for the Bug, to get his quarterly shot.
Would there be enough for a new system? Yeah, right. No way was that going to happen. Tam laughed bitterly at himself for even having the thought.
Not only did he have no system, he’d just ended his friendship with the girl who had the best set-up he’d ever played. He was an idiot.
Forget about her sparked system, and her blue eyes. He’d go back to Zeg’s - when he got some time and some extra coins.
Not soon,
that was for sure.
He didn’t have anything else to do, other than stare at the mess of his gaming gloves, so Tam picked up the book Jennet had brought. What a nutcase.
What about that cut on your arm? a voice inside him whispered. He ignored it. There was no overlap from virtual reality to real life. None. To think there might be - that was craziness waiting to happen. It was surprising the authorities hadn’t taken Jennet in for psych testing.
Or maybe they had. What did he know about her, after all? She was new in town. She could be hiding all kinds of things.
Well, he’d never know. They were done. Though at some point he supposed he’d have to return her stupid book. Might as well take a look, now that he had it.
It was old - she hadn’t been lying about that. The few color illustrations had a dreamy, saturated feeling, similar to Feyland. Jennet said the lead programmer had owned this book. Obviously he’d used it for some serious inspiration.
There were black-and-white drawings, too. Gnarled figures perched in tree-branches, lovely women who called men to their deaths in deep water, winged sprites darting through a clearing. And the Black Knight. Tam’s gut clenched as he stared at the picture of the knight. The cut on his arm started hurting. Hastily, he turned the page.
The Faerie Queen.
For a second, Tam couldn’t breathe. So, this was the queen. Her face was delicate, her eyes haunted and compelling. She wore clothing that looked insubstantial as mist, the flowing gown revealing the curve of her hip and baring one shoulder. Pointed ears were just visible through her midnight-dark hair, gems tangled like stars in its silky blackness.
She was beautiful. He couldn’t imagine wanting to fight her, even as the final boss in a game.
“Tam?” It was the Bug, home from school. Tam hadn’t heard him coming up the stairs.
“Hey there. Want a snack?” He shoved the book under his sleeping bag and went to distract his brother.
# # #
That night the Dark Queen moved through his dreams. She whispered to him of his bravery and offered him a goblet of deep red liquid. His lips touched the edge - and he woke, tangled and sweaty in his sleeping bag. First light was sifting through the windows. He got himself a drink of water, and then went to check on Mom.
She was sleeping - a restless, unhappy sleep from the looks of it. He could sympathize. Even though he was tired, he wasn’t going back to bed. The alarm to get the Bug off to school would ring in an hour, and it wasn’t worth it to lie there trying to rest for most of that time, only to get yanked back out of sleep again.
He missed gaming. It had only been two days since simming at Jennet’s, and there was a big aching hole in his chest.
He’d told Jennet to stay out of his life. Remembering the look on her face made him wince. Maybe he’d been a little harsh. But it had been too much - her just coming over, showing up while he was trying to deal with Mom, looking around his house like it was no better than a cardboard box some street bum slept in.
And then that freaky talk about Feyland and some guy named Thomas. Obviously his death had hit her hard, but that was no excuse to go off the deep end about what was real, and what wasn’t.
Still, maybe he shouldn’t have told her off. Even if that game had made her crazy, she was a nice person. Too good for him, really, with her fancy life and all. Not to mention that amazing system.
He let out a deep breath, then went into the kitchen to heat water for instant coffee. It was going to be another long, tough day.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The rest of the week, Jennet kept hoping to see Tam at school. If only she could talk to him again and say she was sorry for coming over. She shouldn’t have gotten up in his space like that, but she had needed to make sure he was all right. Needed to try and make him understand.
Each day crawled by, the hours oozing past like old ketchup, and there was no sign of Tam. Marny couldn’t tell her much, either. She just said that it was his life, his business, and that he’d be back. Eventually.
Every afternoon Jennet went home, turned on the jammer, and snuck onto the Full-D, trying to get back into Feyland. Every afternoon, she was stuck again at the starting lands, unable to find a faerie ring to take her deeper in. It was no use - she was locked out. Without a companion, the game wouldn’t let her through. She could feel the extra energy she’d gotten back trickling out again, like a slow leak from a faucet. Pretty soon she’d start getting dizzy again - and how long would she last after that?
It was better for Tam if he were done with her, done with Feyland. She knew that, but panic still crawled up her throat at night, choking her, and her dreams were full of the Dark Queen’s mocking laughter.
Then at dinner on Friday, Dad decided to get all parental.
“I hear you had a guest over,” he said, setting down his fork. “A young man.”
He seemed pretty calm. Maybe he was just glad that she’d made a friend. “His name’s Tam. He’s in some of my classes.”
“Oh?” Her dad lifted his eyebrows. His voice was carefully neutral, in that way parents had of trying to get you to confide.
She let out a sigh. No doubt George and Marie had already given him their biased opinion. “He’s nice. And he’s a gamer. A good one. I thought he might like to take a look at the prototype system.”
“Young lady.” Dad’s voice was suddenly hard. “I’ve told you Feyland is off-limits. That’s not going to change.”
“I know that, Dad.” She pasted a smile on her face, trying to look like she had a major crush. “But the Full-D systems are cool to see, and I just wanted to show Tam…”
“Impress him, you mean?”
She didn’t have to fake the blush heating her cheeks. “I guess. He’s kind of sweet.” And messed-up. And still a hero in every way that counted.
“I expect you to behave yourself.” He picked his fork back up and took another bite of meat. A good sign that the interrogation was about over. “Does this Tam have a last name?”
“It’s Linn. And don’t worry. I mean, I like him, but we’re just friends.” Or had been.
“If you continue seeing him, I’d like to meet Mr. Linn. And Marie is insisting on a clearance check.” His tone said there was no arguing around this one.
Luckily, it wouldn’t be a problem. She wasn’t seeing Tam at all - not even in the most basic sense of the word.
“All right.” It was way past time to change the subject. “How’s work going?”
He finished chewing. “We need to find a new lead programmer.”
For Thomas. His death had been strange; even VirtuMax acknowledged that. They thought it had been some kind of corporate espionage, though. Suddenly the push was on to get the whole project relocated here, to Crestview, where the security was tight as clenched teeth. And where the buried cables of the ‘net ran right through - ready and waiting for when the company was ready to market their new release.
“Maybe you should start something new,” she said. She tried to keep it casual, though she wanted to grab Dad by the shoulders and start yelling that they must never, ever, release that game. “There has to be another way to showcase the system without finishing Feyland. What about a different kind of game?”
Her dad shook his head. “I don’t know why you keep saying that, Jennet. The company has already put millions into this project. And I thought you liked the idea behind Feyland.”
“Not so much, any more.”
Not since she’d been sucked through it into a place that was perilous, real, and full of dark magic. What would happen if her Dad’s team managed to finish the project? Once Feyland was released with the new sim-system, there would be millions of players. Would all of them fight the same battle with the Dark Queen that she had - and lose? Then what? Could the Dark Court somehow find a way to enter their world? The thought made her mouth go dry.
“I’m sorry.” Dad’s tone told her he was apologizing for everything: Thomas’s death, their sudden move, even b
eing such a workaholic that her mom had left for good five years ago.
Jennet took a drink of water. The liquid in the glass shivered under her unsteady hand. Some things you couldn’t change. And some things you had to try, no matter how impossible.
“You should start playing Feyland.” She couldn’t keep the urgency from her voice. “You know, see what it’s like inside this project you’ve been managing. It would help you get a feel for it. I could go with you, help you with the quests, show you around.”
Maybe then he’d be able to see the danger, maybe then he’d listen to her. Although Tam had played, and he hadn’t believed her. Her dad would be no different.
“I played the earliest version,” he said. “You know that. It was enough to give me a solid idea of the concept. Gaming’s not my strong point. Besides, I prefer to stay out of the artist’s vision at this point.”
“There is no artist! You can never replace Thomas. You shouldn’t even try.” Tears clogged her throat, and she stared at her plate, appetite gone.
After an uncomfortable minute, her dad let out a low breath. “How about we go see a movie tomorrow? There must be something good at the 3-Max.”
“All right,” she finally said, swallowing back her hopelessness.
Not that going to see a movie would change anything. Dad would never come around, and banging her head against that brick wall wasn’t going to solve her problems.
# # #
Monday was better, especially when she caught sight of Tam at his locker. Relief blew through her like a welcome wind. Should she go up and say hi? Did he have her book? What if he just ignored her? Or worse, snapped at her and told her never to speak to him again?
While she was still debating with herself, the first bell blared through the hall and it was too late. He didn’t look at her once during Early World History. Good thing she hadn’t said hello. She tried to ignore him in return, but despair settled over her like a thick cloak. When class ended, she moved blindly out into the hall.
“Hey.” A touch on her arm.
She turned, to find Tam beside her. His eyes, half-hidden by his hair, looked wary. But not mad, not the way they had when he’d told her to get out of his life.
“What do you want?” She kept her voice even. No gladness. No anger. Students thronged past them, some talking noisily, others with heads bent to their tablets, barely watching where they were going.