by Sara Hubbard
“Right. And this wouldn’t be a big deal if Brent was quiet before he died, but he talked. To the DA. He was going to make a deal to make whatever charges they threw at him go away.”
A sick feeling builds in my stomach and travels up my throat until I taste bile. I want to scream, or curse, or just go to bed and pull the covers over my head and call it a day. I’m a good person. I try and treat people with kindness. I don’t break the law. So why is all this happening? Will the universe take my brother too?
“This guy knows Brent talked and I have to wonder if he might assume Jack knows his part in the thefts, too. If he does, this guy would want to get rid of anyone or anything that connects him. Yuri won’t believe he’s guilty if there’s no evidence.”
I pull the car over. We’re a half mile from the diner but I can’t concentrate on the road anymore. I feel like I might fall apart. I hang my head and breathe in and out while Niko reaches out to gently rub circles on my back.
“Hey,” he says, trying to get my attention. “It’ll be okay.”
I turn my head and he tries to give me a warm smile. He’s trying to make everything okay. Trying to protect me. But I’m finding it harder and harder to believe when everything keeps getting worse and worse. “How are things going to be okay?” I choke out. “Yuri promised Jack could live but this guy will want him dead, right?”
Niko frowns but doesn’t reply.
I lower my head to the steering wheel, feel heat in my chest and then my cheeks. He scoots across the seat and lightly shakes my shoulder until I straighten up and spring into his arms. I rest my head on his shoulder, sniff intermittently as my nose fills and tears threaten to fall from my burning eyes. Yesterday, I worried things between us would never be the same, but in his arms I know that’s not true. The only time I feel like I can catch my breath is when I’m in his arms. Otherwise, the world seems too noisy and too busy and I don’t feel like I fit.
“Hey,” he says quietly. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep your brother safe. Understand?”
If only that were true. If only it were enough. I’m not sure it is anymore. “What if that means killing another man?”
“I don’t care what I have to do. I’m not perfect. I’m trying to be better, but there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you.” He clenches his jaw and his voice drops. “Nothing.”
“Well let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
He shakes his head, his expression sad and his eyebrows pinched. “Ivy, I don’t want to kill anyone. Least of all family. I won’t do it unless he gives me no other choice.”
“I know that. I know Brent wasn’t your fault. So don’t let it fester, okay? I’m here. And I’ll listen. To whatever you have to say. No matter how awful you think it is.”
He tips his head and presses a lingering kiss to my forehead. I shut my eyes and when I sigh, tears finally come, but I reach up to slide them away like they never happened. I take a breath and collect myself and try to keep my voice even when I say, “Who’s the guy?”
“Does it matter?”
It doesn’t. “So how do we protect Jack?”
“For one, we need to get him out of town.”
I lick my lips, suck in my bottom one. “He’s already gone.”
Niko tips his head back and I look up at his puzzled face.
“Okay, that’s really good. Don’t tell me where. Don’t tell anyone. Is it far?”
I make a face and waggle my head. “Probably not far enough.”
“If he didn’t hop a plane, it ain’t far enough. Understand?”
“I think so.”
“And that means you need to leave too, all right?” He raises a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear and the hair on my neck stands on end from his feather fine touch.
“What about you?”
“What about me? He can’t hurt me if you’re gone.”
He just returned to my life and though I decided to leave next year, Niko and I would have had almost a year to figure out things between us. We don’t have that anymore. Now I’m faced with a choice. Do I ask him to come? Or do I ask him to stay? No sooner do I ask myself this do I blurt out, “What if I wanted you to come?”
He levels me with his soft eyes. “Then I’d come.”
“I want you to come. I don’t know what will happen for us in the future, but I don’t want to live without you anymore.”
“What about what I did?”
I sigh and squeeze him a little tighter. “You didn’t have a choice, right?”
He swallows hard and his gaze casts to our joined hands as he shakes his head once.
“You thought I was looking at you because I was judging you or because I was disappointed or disgusted. I’ve never looked at you like that. You thought I did, but I didn’t. I’ve only ever loved you. Those looks were me seeing you hurt and not being able to take it away. Even yesterday. I felt your guilt over Brent and I felt it just as bad, because I know I pushed you to it.”
“Ivy, don’t say that—”
I put my finger to his lips. “Niko, I played a part in that. It never would have happened if I hadn’t asked for your help. Or if I’d supported Jack when he told me he needed to leave town. I feel awful that I let you leave yesterday when you thought I’d turned my back on you. Because I haven’t. We just need time. And we need to get away from this goddamned town if we want another chance to make things work. We can’t start over here, okay?”
“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that.”
I stretch my neck to kiss his lips. He kisses me back, first soft and then hard. When we break apart, he’s gasping for air and I’m dizzy. With everything that’s happening, I’m amazed kissing him can make it all disappear, if only for a moment.
I put the car in drive and continue to the diner. Niko holds my hand the whole way. I can feel his eyes on my face, but I stare straight ahead. My mind is everywhere. I didn’t expect this when I woke up this morning and everything is happening so fast I can’t process it. But I don’t have a choice but to react. Not if I want to keep Jack and me safe. I decide to tell Henry I’m done and Niko and I can take off later today. He’s going to be upset. Hell, he’ll already be upset because I’m late. Just in a different way.
I drop Niko off at his car. He walks around the car and stops at my window. When I roll it down, he leans in and kisses me, almost desperately. It lingers and I have a hard time opening my eyes after. In the midst of all this chaos, he manages to make my stomach flutter. The feeling gives me courage. I’m doing the right thing. And things will be okay. He’s different now. He’s not going anywhere. I know this because instead of pushing me away now that things are tough—and tough is an understatement—he’s giving up everything to stay with me.
“I’ll go home and pack a bag and meet you at your place, okay? Be quick. Do what you got to do. Don’t stop anywhere. And for fuck’s safe, don’t answer the door unless it’s me.”
I nod before rolling up my window and pulling a U-turn. Niko wanted us to leave now without telling a soul, but Henry expects me at work and I can’t leave him like this. He cares for me and he’d worry. It’s bad enough I’m not giving notice, but quitting over the phone? No. He deserves more than that.
Henry doesn’t take the news well. He asks me to shut the door and then he chastises me for showing up late to work. I’ve never been late, and I’d remind him of this, but it gives me time to collect myself. Telling him good-bye won’t be easy. When he finally stops talking at me, he sighs and leans back in his chair. “I hope this isn’t going to be a regular thing now you’re leaving us.”
My mouth is dry and my eyes well up. He looks uncomfortable, swallowing hard. He pulls at the collar on his shirt. “Oh, come on, kid. You deserved a talking to. Don’t be so sensitive. I’m already over it.”
I shake my head and stare down at my hands. “No, that’s not it. I…I…just…”
He sighs and sinks into his chair. Nodding, he quietly says,
“You’re leaving now, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry. It’s not what I wanted. And I don’t want to leave you in the lurch like this. I would never want to make things hard for you.”
He scratches his temple, starts to speak a couple of times, but stops before he gets anything out. When he finally manages to form words, he gets up and walks around the table, sitting in the other chair in the room, a couple feet from me. He removes his glasses and washes a hand over his face before he replaces them. “This ain’t you, kid. If you’re in trouble, you need to tell me. I’ll do what I can. Whatever it takes.”
I give him a sad smile and wipe away a tear. “You’ve been so good to me, Henry. In many ways, you’ve been the father I never had. But I can’t involve you. I need to leave town today and it’s safer if you don’t know where I am.”
His eyes widen. “Is this about Jack?”
I take a breath and shake my head, but it’s half-hearted and I know he sees through it.
“Someone threatening you? The Koshes? Because I may be an old fart but I’ll take on the lot of them if it makes life easier for you.”
I chuckle while a few stray tears fall. He’s being so sweet. Exactly what I’d expect. And it’s because he cares for me that I can’t let him know a single detail. I need to protect him. “I was leaving anyway.”
“Oh, kid. I’m not happy about you leaving. This feels like more of a good-bye than a so long.”
I push to the edge of my chair and stand. He mirrors my movements. I wrap my arms around him and say good-bye. “I hope this isn’t forever,” I say.
“Me too, kid. Me too.”
I don’t say good-bye to the girls or to the cooks. I just wave at them and say ‘See you later,’ like I always do. If they knew, they’d only talk about it and maybe the customers would hear and then other people in town and so on and so on. Yuri and his family would know before the end of the day and whoever is after Jack would be suspicious about it. Enough to act, I think.
Niko calls me when I’m on my way home. I’m still choked up and now that I’m alone I’ve let myself have a cry before I see Niko. I put him on speaker after taking a breath and wiping my tears.
“How did it go?” he asks.
I choke out a quiet, “Okay.”
“I’m just about ready,” he says. There is rustling on the other end of the phone. “I’ll be at your place in about twenty minutes.”
“Sounds good.”
As if sensing my hurt, he adds, “It’ll be okay. I promise.”
I just hope he’s right.
Back at my apartment, I barge into my place, and head straight to my room. I grab a piece of luggage from the closet and toss it on my bed. With no thought of what I need or what I don’t, I start pulling things from my drawers and ripping things off my hangers. I don’t know how urgent our move is, but I’d rather err on the side of caution than be caught off guard. Niko is scared and that’s enough to light a fire under my feet.
With another bag, I swipe my hand across the sink. All of my toiletries fall inside except for a few things I need on the shelf by the bathtub. In my room, I shove the bag in my suitcase.
The picture frame of my mother on my bedside table makes me frown. I grab that too, along with a handful of loose photos I keep in a box under my bed. I don’t want to take much else. It’s better to pack light, and if I’m being honest, I’ve never grown attached to material possessions. I could take them or leave them. The things that matter to me most are my family.
I’m zipping up my luggage when I think I hear knocking at the door. I still and wait, my ears straining to make certain. Another three knocks ring out. I hurry to the door now, assuming it’s Niko. Before all this happened, I would have unlocked it and never looked in the peephole before opening my door. I live in a small town and the only visitors I counted on were friends or neighbors. Growing up, Mom never even locked her door, not on her house or her car. Now, I wouldn’t dream of opening it before knowing who’s on the other side. I push up on my tiptoes and lean in, narrowing my eyes to focus, but seeing absolutely nothing. I lean in a little more and a double knock makes me gasp and nearly jump from my skin. I drop back from my toes and take a step back. Whoever is on the other side doesn’t want me to see them and that only spells trouble.
22
IVY: Holding my hand over my racing heart, I tip-toe over to the window. With a single finger, I draw the curtains back a few inches so I can see who’s hiding behind the wall. If it was Niko, he’d be dead center, showing himself and calling out to me through the door to tell me everything is okay. To my shock, Reed Kosh stands off to the side, his hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. His gaze wanders to the window and I fear he’s seen me. I drop my hand and jump back. He knocks again, harder.
“Ivy?” he says. I can hear him plain as day, as if his face is pressed up against the heavy door. My body chills. Adrenaline sparks. My body is rigid and alert, but I’m not sure I can move. His voice is soft, friendly. “Niko sent me.”
That’s a lie. I just talked to Niko. My gut chimes in and tells me to run for my phone. This guy is lying. Niko said he’d be here in twenty minutes. That’s ten minutes from now. Why send Reed when he’s on his way? Plus, I doubt he’d send Reed if he needed to send someone in his place. They’re cousins, sure. They got along well, but if Niko needs help he always goes to Vik. Always. Then I’m reminded of our earlier conversation. ‘He’s family,’ Niko said. He never said who the new threat was, but what if it’s Reed? The thought makes my throat go dry and my stomach do flip flops, and not in a good way.
“Ivy, I know you’re in there. I was in the area and Niko just called me and asked me to come and check on you. He seemed worried, but he never said what was going on.”
I take a step toward the door, caught between caution and reason. What he’s saying could make sense. But there is no way I’m opening the door without proof. I pad a few steps closer and yell out to him. There’s no denying I’m in here. He’s already seen me. “I’m calling him! Right now. And then I’m calling the police.”
“You could do that,” he says, his voice a little muffled but still audible. “And I wouldn’t blame you. How about I just wait outside? I can look out for you from out here. Is that okay?”
He’s trying his hardest to make me think he’s here with good intentions. And I liked him in high school, more so than any of Niko’s other cousins. But he didn’t seem like the same person when I saw him at the diner. I can’t trust anyone.
My phone sits next to my purse on the coffee table. I run for it and dial Niko’s number while I walk back to the door. I can hear him moving around outside. The longer he’s here the more nervous I get. My heart pounds wildly and thrums in my ears. I can’t get my breath. I dial so fast, I mess up the numbers and have to delete half of them before punching them back in. As I’m about to press send a loud thwack booms in my ears. The door flies in my direction and I try and jump out of the way, but it hits me on the side and knocks me back on my ass, landing on top of me. My head slams back and smashes into the hardwood. The door lays heavy as a brick on my chest and I struggle to breathe. He yanks it off of me and I gasp. I roll onto all fours and scamper for the coffee table to snatch a nail file I always leave lying around. He grips my legs and yanks them out from under me and I fall onto my stomach and knock my chin on the floor. When he rolls me over, I can feel the wet hot blood on my chin as it trails down my neck. I look up at him in horror, trying to find the strength to scream.
“For the record, I didn’t want to do this the hard way. I wanted to come over and ask you some questions and be on my way. You did this,” he says, pointing a gloved finger in my face. “Remember that when things get ugly.”
He pulls a mask out of his pocket and pulls it down over my head. The sudden darkness…the fear of what’s coming…my heartbeat quickens and I start to sweat. He punches me in the face. And then darkness.
I blink slowly and then fast. The mask
once over my head is gone and I have no idea how much time has passed or where Reed has taken me. I try and orient myself to my surroundings as every cut and bruise on my body becomes obvious. I let out a whimper. I can’t avoid the pain in my face. It’s everywhere. In my eyebrows, my nose, my lips and my cheeks. My nose is so swollen I can see it if I train my eyes to the center of my face. The rest of me seems to be okay, though. Notwithstanding the burning sensation on my ankles and wrists from the ropes that tie me to a chair in the middle of an old factory.
I spit blood onto the ground. Every time I move a muscle in my face, it feels like it’s on fire and my skin protests from under the crusted blood. I glance around, see nothing but empty space. Busted out windows. A hole in the roof and clouds overhead.
His footsteps make my heartbeat pick up and I’m almost grateful. The adrenaline in my body helps simmer the pain. He comes into view, stopping a few feet from me, facing me. Tall, dark and deadly. There’s a harshness to his face now that I didn’t see in high school. Deep frown lines in his forehead and on the corners of his mouth. A resting scowl. I once thought him handsome when he smiled.
“What do you want?” I murmur.
“I need to find your brother. Now, I know he went to the city, but that’s all I got. I could go to the city, sure. Try and find him. But Sterling is a big place and for all I know he could have hopped a train or a plane.”
“You’re wasting your time. I won’t tell you where he is.” I try to sound strong, try to keep my voice even, but I’m so scared my whole body is trembling and a quiver begins in my lower lip.
“Maybe. Maybe not. But I gotta try. I’m not into hurting women or children. I’m against it actually. But I’m in a hard spot and I have to find him. So, if that means I bend my rules to keep myself safe, then I’m sorry, honey, but I’m going to have to pretend you’re a guy for a little while. Your face is pretty messed up, so it’s easier to pretend.” He stands tall in front of me, looking down at me from under the hood of his dark eyebrows.