"Aunt Amanda, you are not to worry about Meagan. She will be fine, I am confident of it." But Honor's voice did not sound convincing even to her own ears.
Her aunt sat up and leaned her head against the polished headboard. "It is not Meagan I wish to speak to you about. What I have to say concerns only yourself."
Honor sat down once more with a worried frown on her face. "What do you wish to say to me, Aunt Amanda?"
Her aunt reached for her hand and held onto it tightly. "While I have been lying here I have had a chance to do a lot of thinking. Today the responsibility of raising two motherless children seems to weigh heavily on me. Your father, my brother, would say I am a complete failure where Meagan is concerned. God only knows I tried to do the best I could with her. If only I could call back the years, maybe I could correct my mistakes."
"Now, you must not blame yourself, you have always been very good to Meagan as well as myself."
Her aunt frowned and shook her head. "You know I have always believed in facing the truth, and the truth is I have failed Meagan in some way."
Honor was about to protest but was silenced by a look from her aunt.
"I suspect Meagan was aware you were my favorite. I tried to treat you both equally, but it seems I was not successful."
Honor could not bring herself to tell her Aunt Amanda that Meagan had told her much the same thing just a short while ago.
"You look so much like my brother, while Meagan favored your mother. I have no excuse for favoring you except that you look so much like your father, and your disposition is so kind and loving it is easy to love you."
"I love you, Aunt Amanda, and you have always been generous with the love you gave to me as well as Meagan."
Her aunt touched her cheek softly. "Honey, when your father and mother were killed, I was happy that you and Meagan were coming to live with me. I never intended to marry, and the two of you became my whole life. It was such fun having two young girls around the house; it filled my life and made me feel a complete person."
"Why did you never marry?"
"That is a long story. I was very much in love with a young man named Rory. He was killed one month before we were to be married. I guess I never got over him. Oh, I had plenty of beaux who came calling and a few of them even offered for my hand, but I guess none of them could measure up to my memory of Rory."
Honor felt pain in her heart for how her gentle aunt must have suffered. Honor thought she must have been very beautiful when she was younger, for she was still an attractive woman in spite of her ill health.
"I am sorry for you, Aunt Amanda. It must have been very sad for you."
"Do not be sad for me, my dear. I have had my memories and my life has been full and not uneventful."
"I hardly remember my father and mother. When I think of my childhood it was always you who comforted me when I was frightened, or nursed me when I was ill. No mother could have done more or loved me half as much."
Tears came to the older woman's eyes. "You have become my whole life, Honor. You were the daughter Rory and I could never have, and I am very concerned about your future."
"My future is with you, Aunt Amanda."
Her aunt looked at her sadly. "Honey, I am no longer a young woman, and with this bad heart I could go at any time."
"Do not say it; Darcy and I shall take such good care of you. I am strong. You have only to tell me what to do and I will do it. I can take most of the work of running the plantation from your shoulders."
"My dear child, I do not tell you these things to upset you. I only want to prepare you in the event I should . . . not be around."
Honor jerked her hand free of her aunt's and covered her face. "I do not want to hear these things, I could not bear to lose you."
Her aunt's voice became firm. "Honor, you will hear me out. We are talking about your future. Remain silent and listen."
Honor clasped her hand tightly together and tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to choke her. Aunt Amanda had never spoken to her about these matters before now, and it frightened her.
"If you can control yourself," Aunt Amanda said sternly, "I want your undivided attention. I want to tell you of the plans I have made for your future. I have sent for Mr. Wade, my lawyer. I am having him draw up a will making you my sole beneficiary."
"But, Meagan . . ."
"Meagan can look after herself; she has proved that today. She neither wants nor needs my assistance. It is you I am concerned with. Now, to continue: You have no one but me, and I want you to know that your financial future is assured. Landau Plantation is not a large one, but, because of excellent management, we are financially secure. Clyde Carson is the best overseer in the country, maybe in the whole state of Virginia. He is honest and completely loyal. You are to trust him in all things pertaining to the running of the plantation. Now, about any legal problems that might come up. I will instruct my lawyer, Chance Wade, to assist you in all such matters. Again, he is completely trustworthy.
"Starting tomorrow morning, I want you to ride out with Clyde, and I will instruct him to teach you all you need to know about running Landau. Also, starting tomorrow, I am turning the bookkeeping over to you. I want you to know where every dollar goes that is spent on this plantation.
"I will say this—know your friends. There will be those who will want to marry you just to get their hands on your land. Be wise and astute, and follow your heart. It will not steer you wrong. If the time ever comes when you do not know what to do, put your trust in the good Lord. You are very intelligent; rely on your own instincts." She leaned back on her pillow, looking very pale and weak. "Do you understand what I have been telling you?"
"Yes, I think so," Honor said, not fully understanding.
"You will do fine when the time comes. I have a lot of faith in your good sense."
"Aunt Amanda, do you think anyone will ever want to marry me because he loves me?"
Her aunt smiled and turned to face her. "You, my dear child, are going to be very beautiful one day. I already see the first signs of it now. You have always had to live in the shadow of Meagan, but one day, one day you will bloom, and heaven help all the men who come into contact with you. They will fall like ripened apples from a tree. Bide your time and wait for the real thing. Love wears many faces, not all of them are true faces. Sometimes you may think you love someone only to find out it was infatuation and not the real thing. The man who would win your love will have to be honorable and have a very strong character. Anything less and you would grow to loathe him in time. And if he is a weak man, you would become dissatisfied. I know this because you are too much like me."
"What do you think Jordan will do when he finds out that Meagan has married Mr. Elderman?"
Her aunt was quiet for a long time. "It is hard to say. Jordan is used to getting his way in everything. Jordan Daniels is a very handsome man, and I have always liked him, but he and Meagan are much alike. They do things without thinking them through, then live to rue the consequences. I would caution you where he is concerned. He does not have your stability; you are much stronger than he."
"Oh, no, Aunt Amanda, Jordan is wonderful."
"You think so now, but I think the day will come when you will think differently about him. Now suppose you go and tell Darcy to serve me dinner in my room. I want to conserve my strength for tomorrow."
Honor kissed her aunt on the cheek and walked across the room.
"Think hard on our conversation of today, honey, and remember all that I have told you."
Honor turned to face her. "I will, Aunt Amanda, I promise."
That night after Honor had gone to bed she pondered all the strange things that had happened in the space of one day. She thought of Meagan and hoped that she would find happiness, and she said a prayer for her aunt, whose health seemed to be deteriorating.
The talk they had had upset Honor more than her aunt realized. Honor loved her aunt and could not bear to think of a life without
her. She was determined to take all the responsibility of running the house as well as the plantation from her. Dr. Howard had checked her over earlier and had told Honor that her aunt's health was failing. She had no doubt that Meagan's marriage plans had set Aunt Amanda back. It had been too much of a shock for her.
Honor had a feeling of dread. The future suddenly seemed so uncertain, with Meagan gone, the war, and Aunt Amanda talking of death. She knew she would have to be strong and shoulder most of the responsibility.
Her mind wandered to Jordan. He would be devastated when he learned of Meagan's marriage.
Jordan was tall, with curly blond hair and cool gray eyes. Honor had loved him for a long time now.
She remembered the time she had skinned her knee when she had climbed up an apple tree and fallen from one of its branches. Jordan had picked her up in his arms and wiped away her tears. Then he had insisted on doctoring her wounds himself. He had always called her little one and rumpled her hair and teased her like an older brother, never knowing that she loved him with every beat of her heart.
She pulled the covers up to her chin. She was so tired. Tomorrow would be soon enough to worry about her future.
* * *
The house seemed unusually quiet without Meagan. Honor had very little time, however, to think about her sister, as her aunt's health had deteriorated to the point that she had become an invalid and was unable, to get out of bed without help.
Honor's heart was heavy as she thought of how strong her aunt had always been. While she had been a child growing up she had thought of her aunt as indestructible. Honor felt pity for the woman whom she loved and who so unselfishly had taken her and Meagan into her home and raised them as best she could. She tried to spend as much time as she could reading to her aunt, but she had such a great responsibility running the plantation and learning the books, and so she had little time.
Terrible stories had reached her ears about the war that raged between the North and South, but to date Honor had seen no sign of enemy soldiers. Aunt Amanda had told her it was because Landau was so isolated and so far from any of the main roads. Landau was nestled in a valley and surrounded by the beautiful Shenandoah Mountains.
Christmas came and went without much fanfare. The weather was bitterly cold, and Honor felt her spirits decline. Where she had always been a bright happy child, she now felt the burden of her responsibilities weighing heavily on her.
In spite of the cold weather she would accompany Clyde Carson out on his daily rounds at her aunt's insistence. She would then closet herself in the study to go over the ledgers, teaching herself the book work she needed to learn to enable her to take over the operations for her aunt.
Honor looked out the window and watched as the snowflakes drifted down from a gray overcast sky. Leaning her head against the cold window pane she tried to gather her thoughts. She had no idea what the future would hold for any of her family. Meagan had chosen her own future, and Dr. Howard had told Honor that her aunt's condition would only worsen with the passage of time. She herself was considered very young by her friends and neighbors, and yet at the moment she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. But she allowed herself these doubts and apprehensions only when she was alone. When she was with her aunt or Darcy she tried to present a cheerful outlook.
She sighed heavily and returned to the desk, where she picked up the ledger and tried to concentrate. Landau Plantation had only three field hands left, and they were all older men who had remained because they had no place to go. Then there were Clyde and Darcy. Darcy had been born on Landau, but she had never been a slave, but more like a member of the family, and lately there had been no money to pay her the small salary that she had always received in the past.
There would have been plenty of money if Aunt Amanda had not converted all her cash into confederate dollars when Jefferson Davis had asked the Southerners to do so. Now no one seemed willing to honor the Rebel dollar, as many merchants called them.
Honor closed the account book wishing she dared ask her aunt's advice, but knowing she could not bother her with money problems.
Honor looked up as Darcy came bustling into the study. "Your aunt is sleeping. She ain't feeling none too well."
"I wish there was something we could do for her. It tears at my heart to see her in so much pain, Darcy."
Darcy's black eyes became soft as she looked at Honor. "Honey there ain't nothing we can do that we ain't already done."
"I know. Everything seems to be going wrong. I feel like such a failure. Aunt Amanda has entrusted me with the running of Landau and I have made a shambles out of everything. Meagan has run off with a Yankee. There is no money to buy new supplies. Aunt Amanda's health is growing worse by the day. You need help with the housework, and there is a war going on."
Darcy placed her hands on her hips. "Shame on you. There are a lot of folks that is a lot worse off then we is. At least we has a roof over our head and food to eat."
"I know you are right as always, Darcy. I suppose I was only feeling sorry for myself. Look at you, looking after this house, and my aunt keeps you busy from morning until night, and yet you never complain. You have not even received a salary in months. You eat no meat knowing that a few chickens are all we have and you do not want to deprive my aunt of the meat she needs so badly."
"As for eating meat, you ain't had one mouthful since I have, and I don't need no money. We is family, and when a family is in trouble they all pull together." Darcy reached out and touched Honor's silky hair. "You don't ever complain. I know better than anyone how hard you work and how tired you get. You are just young and should be having fun, but you don't have time." Darcy's eyes became misty. "My poor baby, what's to become of you?"
Honor smiled. "I do not know what I would do without you and Clyde."
Darcy sniffed and walked over to the bookshelf and made a pretense of straightening the books that were already neat and orderly. "Like as not we are going to have to be strong for each other, honey. There are harder times coming."
"Aunt Amanda does not suspect how bad off we really are, does she, Darcy?"
"I ain't said anything."
"She does not suspect that we eat only vegetables so she can have the chicken to keep her strength up?"
"She ain't easy to fool, but she is too sick to worry 'bout what goes on around her."
There was a knock on the front door and Darcy left the room to answer it. Honor leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes for a moment. Her eyes opened when she heard Clyde clear his throat to gain her attention.
"Darcy told me to come on in. I didn't know you were resting," he said, taking care so the snow on his boots would not get on the rug.
Honor studied her overseer for a moment. He would be somewhere in his fifties, and while not a tall man he had powerful shoulders and often did the work of two men. His hair was as white as the snow on the collar of his greatcoat, and his blue eyes sparkled with good health. At the moment he looked uncomfortable, as he stood hat in hand. Clyde had been steadfast and loyal for many years, and she wanted to put him at his ease. She knew it was difficult for him to deal with her after working for her aunt for so many years.
"Sit down, Clyde. Is there something specific you wanted to speak to me about?"
"I'll just stand, Miss Honor, my boots have snow on them."
She smiled. "We won't worry about a little snow. Be seated, Clyde."
He walked cautiously to the leather chair and sat down twirling his hat in his hands.
"What did you wish to see me about?"
"There are two Confederate soldiers outside that claim one of their chickens got into our chicken coop."
"Is that possible?"
"No ma'am."
"Do you think they are hungry?"
"It sure would appear so. Neither one of them seems old enough to shave. They say they are from a troop of some sixteen soldiers camped beside Green River."
Honor stood up and walked over to
the coat rack and drew on her gray woolen cape. "Come with me, Clyde, let us see if we can help them find their lost chickens."
The snow was deep as Honor and Clyde made their way to the chicken coop that stood fifty yards behind the barn. Honor stuck her hands in her pockets to keep them warm.
Her heart contracted as she saw the ragged condition of the two soldiers. Their tattered gray uniforms had seen better days. From what little she could see of them wrapped in heavy coats, they appeared to be in need of a good meal. Honor noticed Clyde stayed close to her side as one of the young boys approached. He removed his tattered gray cap and smiled shyly at her.
“Good Lord!” she thought. Was the south now sending children to fight the war? She gave him a bright smile trying not to show the pity she felt for him. "I understand that one of your chickens got into our chicken coop?"
The young boy, who could be no older than herself, lowered his head. "Yes, ma'am, but I could be mistaken." he murmured.
Honor looked past the boy to his companion and discovered that he was not much older than his friend. Her heart wrenched inside of her at the pitiful condition of the two boys. "Let me see, it is very possible that your chicken is in with ours. I fear the coop is in bad repair."
Honor knew that they had ten chickens left, and counting the chickens she saw that there were still ten. "I believe you are right, sir, I fear your chicken has indeed made its way into our coop. As a matter of fact there are two more chickens then there should be. Is that not right, Clyde?"
Clyde smiled at her fondly. "Yes, ma'am I believe you are correct. Would you like me to remove the two chickens?"
"You do that, Clyde." she told him, returning his smile. Honor turned to the two young boys. "I wonder if the two of you would accompany me to the root cellar. I have an over abundance of apples and potatoes, which I would deem it a favor if you would take off my hands."
Rebel Temptress (Historical Romance) Page 2