"Yes. I only hope I will be worthy of the trust she had in me. It is a big responsibility."
Jordan was quiet for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice was hardly above a whisper. "Is there some young man you care about, Honor?"
She was quiet for a moment, not knowing how to answer him. "Yes, I love someone," she said finally, for did she not love him with all her heart?
"Will you marry your young man then?"
"No, he does not love me. In fact, he hardly knows I am alive."
"Ah, then you and I are both unloved by the ones we love. It would seem we are kindred spirits, are we not?"
"I suppose so," she said, thinking how ironic it was to be having this conversation with him.
"Are you quite sure your young man will not come to love you in the future?"
"No. He loves someone else."
"Maybe I have a solution to both our problems. I could never go back to my unit knowing that you are alone, with no one to protect you. I came home for a wedding, and dammit, I am going to have a wedding."
Honor frowned, not understanding what he meant.
He threw back his head and laughed. "Do you not see the irony of it? You will marry me and neither of us will have any illusions about the other. You do not love me and I do not love you. What a perfect marriage; it will not be all cluttered up with pretty words and lies. We will know right from the beginning where we stand with one another."
Honor stood up weakly. "I do not find you the least bit amusing, Jordan. How dare you make such a ridiculous proposal to me. You are very insensitive."
He rose and drew her into his arms. "Oh, little one, forgive me for what must seem to you like the ravings of a madman. Do you not see the joke is on me, not you. If you would consent to marry me, I would be indeed honored, and I would be getting the best of the bargain, for you are kind and gentle. What man could ask for more in a wife?"
Honor felt as though her heart had been shattered into a million pieces. Jordan wanted to marry her, and he was telling her he did not love her.
"You would like it if I said yes, wouldn't you? Then you would feel that you had wreaked your revenge on Meagan. How cruel you are, Jordan. Your revenge at my expense."
She began to tremble and did not know if it was from the fever or her anger. Knowing her legs would no longer support her, she sat down on the edge of the sofa. She longed for the privacy of her room, for she was heartbroken and miserable. She felt Jordan sit beside her, and as his arms went around her, she struggled, weakly trying to push him away, but he held her tightly.
"My dearest, little one, what a brute I am. You are ill and have just lost your aunt. Forgive me, will you?"
"There is nothing to forgive, Jordan. We will just forget all you have said to me."
He tilted his handsome head sideways and looked into her eyes. "No, Honor, we will not forget. The offer to make you my wife still stands." His head slowly descended and his lips covered hers in a tender kiss.
It was the moment Honor had always dreamed of. Jordan, the man she loved, was kissing her, and he had just asked her to be his bride. Honor tried to ignore the warm sensation that crept into her body as her lips trembled beneath his, knowing she could not accept such a proposal.
Jordan raised his head and frowned. Taking a deep breath, he pulled her head down on his shoulder. "You are not quite the child I thought," he laughed. "You go to my head, little one. Will you marry me? Say yes, and I promise I will be good to you. I think you and I would deal very well together."
"No, I will not marry you Jordan, and I want you to leave now. I do not feel well."
He held her at arm's length. "You are like a delicate flower that is about to bloom. I think you have not been awakened to the feelings a woman can have for a man. Did the one you love ever kiss you?"
"No," she said breathlessly, beginning to feel drawn under his spell by the sound of his voice and the look in his eyes.
His lips were very near hers. "I thought not," he whispered.
Before she could protest, his lips covered hers in a deep, soul-shattering kiss. She felt she could not breath. Hot waves washed over her body. She wanted to cling to him forever.
He released her quickly. The eyes that looked into hers were not the eyes of the Jordan she had always known, but the eyes of a man stirred by passion. He wanted something from her and she did not know what it was.
"In some ways you are not unlike your sister. You have a way of stirring a man's blood."
"Jordan, why did you kiss me?" she whispered.
"I wanted to show you that it could be good between us. I guess you could say I was taking advantage of your innocence, but as it turned out, you are the one who took advantage of me."
"I do not understand."
"You, my little vixen, are turning into more than I bargained for."
"Jordan, you are not making sense."
His hands gripped her tightly as he pulled her against him. "Say you will marry me, Honor. I need you. I need what you can give me. Bring stability back into my life once more."
He could have found no greater persuasion than to say he needed her. She would throw her pride to the wind if she thought she could be of help to Jordan.
"Yes, I will marry you if really want me," she blurted out, surprising not only Jordan but herself as well.
He smiled slightly. "I want you, little one, make no mistake about that." Once again he tilted her face up. "You may be the very thing that can save me."
"When would you like me to marry you?"
"For now, you go back to bed and rest. I will have Darcy ask the circuit rider who is sleeping upstairs to come down and talk to me. It may be that he can marry us tomorrow. That is if you feel you will be up to it."
"Jordan, what will you expect from me after we are married?" She asked.
He laughed softly. "Nothing this trip home, little one," he said, smiling at her innocent question. "I am not so insensitive that I would introduce you to married life while you are so ill." He paused. "Would you like me to help you to your bedroom? I can see you need to be in bed."
"No, Darcy would be scandalized, but if you could just help me up the stairs, I would be most grateful," she told him, knowing she had been too long out of her sickbed and fearing she would never be able to make her way up the stairs unaided.
To her surprise, Jordan lifted her into his arms and carried her up the stairs as if she weighed nothing. At the top of the landing, he set her gently on her feet.
"You had better get used to me, Honor, for I assure you I will take very good care of you."
She watched as he left her, descending the steps two at a time, then she walked weakly to her bedroom door, and, once inside, lay down on the bed. She felt overcome with apprehension. Had she made a mistake in agreeing to marry Jordan? Could she make him happy? Would he ever forget the love he had for Meagan? So many questions rattled around in her head, questions that she had no answers to.
I love you so much, Jordan, and I will strive to make you happy, she thought. The session with Jordan had sapped her strength, and she felt herself slipping into a state of nothingness. Before she fell asleep she said a prayer and hoped she was doing the right thing. She wished for the counsel of her Aunt Amanda. And she wished it was she Jordan loved. When she fell asleep, it was with Jordan's name on her lips.
* * *
After Jordan spoke to the circuit rider, he rode for home, dreading the thought of facing his parents with the news of his impending marriage to Honor. They would most probably be upset, but nothing they could say would dissuade him.
He did not regret his decision to marry Honor. If he could not have Meagan, nothing much mattered to him anymore. Besides, Honor was alone and needed someone to look after her, and he had always had a deep affection for her. She had seemed so vulnerable today, so weak and helpless. And then there was Landau Plantation. A young girl could not run a place as large as Landau on her own.
Jordan was honest enough wi
th himself to admit he liked the idea of acquiring Landau Plantation, since it adjoined Green Rivers. Honor's aunt had been a shrewd businesswoman, and the land she had left to Honor was quite prosperous.
He laughed out loud. "I may not have you, Meagan, but I will have your home, and I shall have your sister."
How sweet would be his revenge.
3
When Jordan reached home he found his parents in the sitting room where he had left them two hours before. He told them about Amanda Landau's death and waited until his mother had cried out her grief for her friend of many years before he informed them of his plan to marry Honor. Expecting stiff opposition, he was surprised when neither of his parents offered any objections. They both liked Honor and were pleased that he had decided to take her as his wife.
Maggie Daniels frowned. "After you are married, Honor must come to live with us. I have always been fond of her and it is not proper for her to continue to live alone."
"I am sure she will consent to move to Green Rivers as soon as she has recovered from her illness," Jordan told his mother.
"Think of it, son, with our land and Landau, we will have the largest plantation in the entire state of Virginia."
"Shame on you, Clayton," his wife scolded. "I do not know what you can be thinking to speak in such a mercenary way when Amanda is not yet cold in her grave."
Clayton Daniels had the grace to look shamefaced and quickly changed the subject. "Son, you do not love Honor, but I have known many marriages that have started out with far less going for them than what you and Honor will have going for you. I think your marriage will work out quite successfully."
"No, I do not love her, but I have a great fondness for her."
"Fondness is not a bad thing to build a marriage on," his mother told him.
"I believe Honor and I will have a good marriage. But it will not be the same as it would have been if Meagan and I had married," Jordan said bitterly.
"No, thank the Lord for that. You did not see the shameless way Meagan carried on while you were away, Jordan."
"Mother!" Jordan warned.
"It is true. You would not have been happy for long if you had married her, I can tell you that."
"I will not allow you to say anything against Meagan. You did not know her as well as I do."
"It would seem you did not know her as well as you thought you did," his mother admonished him.
Jordan turned his back, knowing his mother had driven her point home.
"You said Honor is very ill," his mother said, moving on to a safer subject, not at all unhappy with the way things were turning out.
Jordan turned back to her. "Yes, she is ill, but I am pressed for time, and I will marry her tomorrow."
"I can only guess what our friends will say about your marrying Honor so soon after Amanda's death, and they all know how you feel about Meagan," his mother said.
"Maggie, this is a time of war. Folks have more on their minds than whether or not our son marries Honor or Meagan Landau," her husband told her. Then he turned his attention to his son. "I was wondering, did Amanda divide the plantation between Honor and Meagan?"
"No, Honor is the sole beneficiary," Jordan said dully.
"That is good. I believe Amanda also had a good bit of money. Just think what this could mean for you, son."
His wife turned to him indignantly. "Clayton, I declare I am ashamed of you. How can you think of land and money at a time like this? I never knew you could be so heartless."
"I did not mean it the way it sounded, but it is good to know she left Honor well provided for."
"Father, I will not allow Honor's land and money to be tied up with Green Rivers. Landau belongs to Honor. Outside of your lending her your support and giving her your advice, I want you to adopt a "hands off policy. There will be much gossip about our marriage as it is. I do not want people saying I married her for her money."
Maggie sighed heavily. "I hope you are not making a mistake by marrying her. She has already suffered a great deal."
"She will receive only kindness from me, Mother. Now if the two of you will excuse me, I have a great deal of planning to do."
Long after Jordan left, his parents could hear him pacing back and forth in his upstairs bedroom. It suited his purpose to have Honor bear his name. He knew he was not being totally unselfish in marrying her. In a way he was hitting back at Meagan. She would one day learn that he had married her sister, and he hoped she would feel some of what he was going through. Honor would not suffer, after all; she also loved someone else.
Jordan frowned, wondering who his unknown rival was. He tried to remember ever seeing Honor with a particular boy, but he could remember no one. It did not bother him that Honor did not love him. If she did it would only make things harder on both of them.
Honor would never be a beauty like her sister. Jordan felt he was doing her a favor by making her his wife. He would be very tender and gentle with her, and of course he would make no demands on her for now. She was far from well, and she was still so young. He thought of the kiss he had given her this afternoon. She was definitely inexperienced, and yet, he had felt a flicker of something when her lips had trembled beneath his. Yes, it would not be too unpleasant teaching her about the relationship between a husband and wife.
* * *
Honor stared at her reflection in the mirror. "I look horrible," she told Darcy. "I am so pale, and this black gown does not help my color any. Look at my hair, it is so limp and lifeless. Since I have had the fever I have been unable to do anything with it. What will Jordan think when he sees me?" Honor said as she twisted the pale, lifeless hair into a bun at the nape of her neck, hoping the severe hairstyle would make her appear older.
"He will think, just like I does, that you are too good for him," Darcy told her matter-of-factly.
"Darcy," Honor scolded, "I thought you always liked Jordan."
"I always thought he was too good for Miss Meagan, but I don't think he is good for you."
"Why, Darcy?"
"It ain't that I don't like him, I just don't want him marrying you."
Honor smiled slightly, knowing Darcy would not think anyone was good enough for her. "Why, Darcy?"
"Well, for one thing you is too young, and for another thing, I want my baby to marry a man that would love her and take care of her. I ain't blind. Master Jordan has his reasons for marrying you. Most likely he wants to strike back at your sister through you."
Darcy had put into words what Honor had been thinking to herself but had not wanted to admit. She was saved from answering by a knock on the door. Darcy opened the door to admit Maggie Daniels.
Maggie swept into the room like a breath of fresh air and put her arms around Honor. "My dear child, I am so grieved about Amanda. She was always a good friend to me."
"I know she counted you one of her dearest friends, Mrs. Daniels."
"Honor, you must call me Maggie now that you are marrying Jordan."
"I will call you Maggie if that would please you."
The older woman's eyes filled with tears. "You are such a dear child. I will try to be a mother to you."
"Thank you, Mrs. . . . Maggie."
The older woman turned to Darcy. "If you will leave us alone for a moment, Darcy, I would like a few private words with Honor."
"Yes, ma'am. I will just go check on the luncheon."
After Darcy had left Maggie took Honor's hand and helped her to her feet. She frowned at Honor's black gown. "It is a shame that you must wear black on your wedding day. Oh, well, I guess it will not matter," she said, frowning. "Honor, I am glad we have this time alone. Do you think it is a good idea for you to marry Jordan?"
Honor's eyes widened. "You do not want me to marry him?"
"It is not that," Maggie said, looking uncomfortable for a moment. "You know how Jordan feels about Meagan."
"You would have preferred that Jordan marry my sister? I know that Jordan loves Meagan, but you have my word that
I will try to make him a good wife."
"My dear, I am delighted to have you as my daughter. It is just that I am very fond of you, and I would not like to see you hurt. What I am trying to say to you is that you do not have to marry Jordan if you do not want to. I would love to have you come and live with Clayton and me whether you marry my son or not. You will have a home with us as long as you like."
Honor was overcome by Maggie's kindness. She kissed her cheek and smiled. "I thank you for your offer, but I would like to be Jordan's wife."
Maggie returned her smile. "It is settled then. You will be my daughter before the day is out." She hesitated and frowned. "Honey, did your aunt ever talk to you about the physical side of marriage?"
"No, she did not ever mention it to me."
Maggie sighed heavily. "Oh, well, it is too late now." She patted Honor's hand. "Do not worry. I will speak to Jordan on your behalf. Come, the circuit rider says he has to leave directly after the ceremony. We must not keep him waiting."
Honor followed Jordan's mother down the stairs, holding on to the banister for support. She still felt weak and shaky, but was determined to be strong until she became Jordan's wife.
Mr. Daniels kissed her cheek, and Jordan took her hand. "Is your black gown out of respect for your aunt, or out of sorrow because you are marrying me?" Jordan asked in a teasing voice.
"Maybe a little of both," she told him, giving him an impish smile.
Jordan laughed. "At least you have not changed your mind, have you?"
"No, have you?"
"Not on your life," he said, leading her over to the preacher.
The ceremony was short. When the parson pronounced them man and wife, Honor stood staring blankly at Jordan. She did not feel married.
Jordan kissed her lightly on the cheek and smiled. "Well, Mrs. Daniels, for better or worse you are stuck with me now."
Honor wanted to tell him she loved him and was happy to be his wife. "Let us hope it is for the better," she told him.
"Let us say we have taken the first step on a hopefully long road together," Jordan replied.
Honor was hugged and kissed by both of Jordan's parents, and Darcy enfolded her into her arms and cried that her baby was now a married woman.
Rebel Temptress (Historical Romance) Page 4