He stood up and Honor watched as he removed his jacket and draped it over the back of a chair. Then he removed his shirt and dropped it on the floor. His boots followed, then slowly and deliberately he removed his britches.
Honor felt no shame as she stared boldly at his beautiful body. She felt as though her body was on fire as he lay down beside her and pulled her into his arms. Their bodies seemed to fuse together as his lips burned into hers. From a far distance Honor heard someone moaning and realized it was herself.
"My love, my love," she said over and over.
Adam was driven to the brink of no return. It would be hard for him to stop now. He wanted her, how he wanted her, but would she become frightened? Would she pull away from him in disgust? No, the time was not yet right. He must wait until she came to him. She must beg him to take her. Then and only then would it be right for her.
It was a cruel game he was playing, but the stakes were high, and their whole future rested on the outcome. With strength he did not know he possessed, he pushed her gently away from him.
"Good night, darling," he said, feeling like a fool as he turned his back to her.
Honor was frozen into silence. Why had he pulled away from her? Did he not know that she wanted him and that she had no fear of him? The horror of that one night with Jordan was nothing more than a bad memory. She knew if Adam took her it would be with love, and she blushed thinking of the satisfaction she would find with him.
What if Adam did not want to make love to her? Now that they were married, perhaps he no longer felt the same about her. Then a disturbing thought entered her mind. What if he was disgusted by her because Jordan had been with her before him? She knew how she had felt about Jordan's being with Meagan. Oh, please, God, not that, she prayed silently.
"Adam," she said in a shaky voice.
"Yes?"
"May I ask you a question, and please be completely honest with me, no matter how much you think it will hurt me."
He turned to face her. "I will always try to be honest with you, Honor."
"Are . . . do you feel disgusted by me because of what Jordan did to me?"
Adam frowned. He did not expect her question and it took him completely by surprise. He had to admit that he had been tortured for many months by the thought that Jordan might have been intimate with Honor since his return from the war, and his mind rejected the idea that Honor might have found satisfaction with the man she had thought to be her husband at the time.
"No, Honor, I do not feel disgusted by you. If anything, I feel more protective toward you knowing what you suffered at Jordan Daniel's hands."
"I know that a husband wants to be the first with his wife, and I regret that it cannot be that way with us."
"Darling, put Jordan out of your mind. All that matters is the love we have for each other. In time you will forget all that you suffered in the past."
Honor reached for his hand and squeezed it. "I am constantly amazed by your kindness and understanding. I am so fortunate that I found you. If the war had not come along, our paths would never have crossed."
"Somehow I would have found you, Honor, never doubt it. Darling, I have answered your question, now will you answer one for me?"
"Yes, anything."
"The night of your supposed wedding, was that the only time you were ever intimate with Jordan?"
Honor tightened her grip on his hand. "Yes, that was the only time, although, as you know, the night I found him with Meagan I had made up my mind for Aaron's sake that I would be a proper wife to him."
"Did you do it entirely for Aaron, or did you have any feelings for Jordan?"
"It is hard to explain to you, but I was terrified of Jordan. I did not want him to touch me. I now believe it was because I knew I loved you."
"That first night, did you feel no pleasure with Jordan?"
She looked deeply into his eyes. "All I felt was pain, and afterwards, I felt sick."
Adam was flooded with relief. He had not wanted to accept the possibility that Honor had found excitement in Jordan Daniel's arms. He would be the one to teach her the joys of the body as well as the spirit. "Put the past behind you, Honor. If you remember anything, remember Aaron, for he was your son. Some day I will give you a son, not to replace Aaron, but to fill the emptiness left by his death."
Honor blinked the tears from her eyes. Dear, gracious father in heaven, she prayed silently, thank you for sending me this beautiful, sensitive man's love. Hoping she would be worthy of him, she fell asleep with her head resting on his shoulder.
25
The next morning Honor was awake before sunup. Adam was sleeping peacefully beside her as she eased herself out of bed and slipped into her robe. Sitting on the window seat, she watched the sun come up over the lovely grounds that surrounded the townhouse. It would soon be fall, she thought, and then winter. What would the winters be like in Boston, she wondered. Most probably it would be colder than Virginia, since it was so far north.
She watched the gardeners clipping the hedges and watering the lawn. In the far distance she could hear the city coming to life. The sounds of horses' hooves striking the cobblestone roads penetrated the open window.
Feeling Adam's arms go around her, she looked up into his face.
"How is it that you manage to look so good in the mornings when other women of my acquaintance could not stand up under close scrutiny so early?" Adam realized he had made a grave mistake when he saw Honor's eyes narrow and she pulled away from him.
Rising to her feet, she faced him with her head thrown back and her chest rising and falling rapidly.
"I will never stand by meekly while you compare me to other women in your life. I have lived through that experience before, and I made myself a promise that I would never allow any man to do that to me again."
Adam had only seen her angry one other time. It had been when she had tried to get his permission to visit Green Rivers. She was beautiful as her green eyes scorched him with their fiery emerald depths.
"I did not mean to compare you, darling. It was out before I realized what I was saying," he said, his voice laced with amusement.
"Never as long as you live do such a thing again. I do not want to know about the women you had before me.
"There is no comparison," he said smoothly.
"That is beside the point. I do not want to hear about women you have loved."
"I have never loved before you. The others were merely physical relationships, nothing more."
Honor placed her hands over her ears. "Do not say it. You are cruel and insensitive." Tears were running down her cheeks as she turned her back to him.
Adam had not realized the extent of her hurt until that moment. He cursed himself for a fool as he enfolded her in his arms. "Darling, forgive me. I was a brute. I promise never to tease you again, but I do want you to know that no one but you has ever reached my heart, nor will they ever."
She raised her face to him and he kissed away her tears. "What if you are not satisfied with me? I know some men take a mistress. I could not bear it if you ever turned to another woman. I know there were other women in Jordan's life, and it did not matter, but with you it is different."
"Honor, listen to me. I will say this to you and then I promise never to bring the subject up again." He was thoughtful for a moment. "I do it now only to put your fears to rest. While it is true I have known other women, Honor, since the time I met you I have wanted only you. Can you imagine how it felt to find I could not be intimate with another woman? Your face always haunted me; it was your body I craved. I cannot tell you how many nights I have lain awake remembering how it felt making love to you. I would dream of you lying in my arms as my wife, and I knew if I was ever fortunate enough to win you I would be satisfied for the rest of my life. Do you believe this?"
Honor began to tremble at his loving declaration. Her heart skipped a beat as she tried to speak past the lump in her throat. When she did manage to speak, it was ha
rdly above a whisper. "Yes, because it is how I feel also. I love you, Adam."
He hugged her to him tightly. "I pray God it is always so," he said in a ragged voice.
Suddenly Adam had a thought. He wanted to take her to Penrose. It was there he would make passionate love to her. It was there Honor would become his true wife. He felt excitement flame through his body. "Get dressed for traveling. After breakfast we leave for Penrose," he said softly.
* * *
The trunks with all Honor's new finery had been packed and lashed to the top of the carriage that Fitz and two of the other maids occupied, and two hours later Adam and Honor were on the road to Penrose as well. When they were out of the city Honor began to sit up and take notice of everything around her. There were fields of corn ripe and ready for harvesting. The scent of the fresh open air made her come to life. It was lovely, there were green meadows and many quaint farmhouses with their huge red barns. This was life as she understood it.
Adam smiled at her enthusiasm. He had not been mistaken; Honor would love Penrose. They were riding by a green meadow that stretched for as far as the eye could see. There was a white wooden fence that ran the length of the property, and beautiful thoroughbred horses frolicked among the huge oak trees.
"Oh, Adam, this is so lovely. Who does this land belong to?"
"What would you say if I told you it belongs to me, and through me, to you?"
Her eyes widened. "Is this Penrose, then?"
"Yes, we have been on Penrose these last five miles."
"How far is the house?" she said excitedly.
"When we climb that hill you will be able to see the house."
The buggy started up the steep grade, and when they reached the top, Adam ordered the driver to stop. He lifted Honor from the buggy and pointed to the distance. "You new home, Mrs. O'Roarke."
Honor drew in her breath. Nestled in a valley surrounded by green meadows and tall oak trees was the manor house of Penrose. Its once red brick had mellowed with age into a soft pink color. The white shutters gave it an appearance of hominess and welcome. It was larger than she would have wished, but it was not imposing as the townhouse had been. It stood two stories tall, and she could make out the manicured lawns and the many colorful flowers that were in bloom.
Honor turned to her husband, who stood silently beside her. "It is lovely, Adam. It feels like I have come home at last," she said breathlessly.
"I hoped you would feel the way I do about Penrose." He pointed to his left, where Honor saw a huge pond with black and white swans floating lazily on the smooth surface.
"I am going to love it, Adam, I know I will."
He lifted her into his arms, not caring that his driver watched with a smile on his face. "We are home, Honor, truly home," he said as he placed her back in the buggy.
When they pulled into the driveway of Penrose, Fitz was on the steps to welcome them, along with the staff who lived at the farm.
Honor smiled as she was introduced to each one, and she extended her hand to them in greeting. Adam could tell that everyone was enchanted by Honor's friendly open manner and her lovely southern accent.
As Adam showed her through the house, Honor could hardly contain her joy. Each room was lovelier than the one before. It was expensively decorated, but with a warmth she could see and feel. This was a home that seemed to reach out and embrace her. This was a place to raise rosy-cheeked children who could run through the meadows and be happy and carefree.
Fitz showed Honor to the master suite upstairs. Like the townhouse, it had two bedrooms off the sitting room. Cream-colored carpet covered the floors, and the furnishings were of soft blues and bright yellows. The master bedroom was spacious. The bed was a huge four-poster with a beautiful lace canopy and coverlet to match.
"Mr. Adam was born in that bed," Fitz told Honor. "It has been in the O'Roarke family for many generations, and I suspect it will last for many more."
"I love it," Honor said. "Oh, Fitz, it is a lovely house. I am going to be so happy here."
Fitz smiled broadly as Honor called her by the nickname Adam had given her as a child. "I am sure we shall all be happy now that you are here, ma'am."
That night Honor and Adam dined on lobster in a lemon butter sauce. Then Adam took her to the stables, where he showed her some of his prize breeding mares and studs. One little mare seemed to take an immediate liking to Honor. She was a soft gray with a white face. Her lines were long and sleek. She tossed her silky mane and nudged Honor's hand.
"Oh, Adam, I love her. What is her name?"
"Her name is Casinetta, Cassy for short. Since the two of you seem to like each other, it is only right that you should belong to one another," he said, laughing.
"I do love her, and I will love thinking I belong to her," Honor said softly.
"Shall we retire now, Honor?" Adam said in a deep voice.
Honor patted Cassy and walked toward the house. Her heart was beating a wild tempo. Would tonight be the night Adam would make love to her?
She went upstairs and bathed in the bath Fritz had prepared for her in the smaller bedroom. Afterwards she slipped into the filmy nightgown and satin robe Madame Inez had chosen for her. Her footsteps made no sound as she walked across the plush carpet that covered the sitting room.
Tonight she would make Adam want her. She would use all the feminine allure she possessed. Turning the handle of the door, she entered the bedroom. Adam was in the process of undressing. He had just removed his shirt and turned to watch her as she walked slowly toward him.
Honor's satin robe hugged her soft curves, and he noticed the way her hips moved as though she was deliberately trying to entice him. If that was her intention, she was succeeding. Desire coursed through his body like a raging fire.
Her hands went to the sash of her robe, and Adam watched speechless as the robe slipped from her shoulders to fall at her feet. She stopped inches in front of him. The look in her eyes fanned his passion like red-hot embers.
The only sound that could be heard was Adam's ragged breathing. Adam's eyes caressed Honor's face lovingly. He swallowed hard as she pushed the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders and it fell to the floor. Desire he could not control ripped through his body. He started to speak, but found his voice came out as a ragged breath. "Honor, are you sure?" It was more a plea than a question.
"You said I would know when the time was right," he heard her whisper. "The time is now, the place is here in this room where your mother gave life to you. This is the place I shall also give life to your son."
Adam felt helpless as tears slid down his face. He felt her hands on his bare chest, and waited, mesmerized, as she moved closer. Before, he had been unable to move; he now felt alive and his whole body was burning to come into contact with her soft curves. His dark passion-laced eyes swept her face, noting the tears that spilled down her cheeks.
"Oh, God," he cried as he crushed her in his arms. "I have waited so long for this night." He was raining passionate kisses all over her upturned face. His hands slid over her silky body. The lovely-smelling perfume that she always wore dulled his senses. He did not remember picking her up into his arms until he became aware that they were lying on the bed. "My wife, my love, do not pull away from me. I doubt I have the strength to stop what you have set in motion," he whispered.
"Love me, Adam, I am an empty shell without you to fill me" she whispered.
His mouth moved over her face to take possession of her eagerly parted lips. Honor moaned in total surrender as his kiss deepened. She never remembered Adam's removing his trousers, but suddenly his masculine body was pressed against her soft curves.
"I do not know what is happening to me, Adam, I feel . . . so . . . I want you . . . to . . ."
"Oh, darling, it has been so long," he said in a passionate whisper. "So long you have eluded me, now I fear I will frighten you, so great is my need for you. You must tell me at once if I cause you any pain."
Her lips sought
his as her hands slid over his back, at first shyly, then, as she heard him gasp, her hands became bolder, settling on his waist.
Honor felt her senses being swept away in a tide of new feelings as Adam's hands began to explore her body and his lips made a fiery trail down her slender neck and down to encircle the highest point of her satiny breast. It was bliss, and it was agony, as her body writhed beneath his masterful hands.
"I can wait no longer," he said in agony as he turned her over to her back. Honor gasped as his hands moved to her thighs, spreading her legs apart.
Honor was not prepared for the feelings she experienced as Adam entered her body. He penetrated only halfway, fearing he would cause her pain. His body cried out for total possession, but he tried to stem his desire. He was almost mindless with the feelings that washed over him as Honor moved forward and he found himself completely inside her. A white-hot light flashed before his eyes as she laced her hands through his ebony-colored hair and brought his face close to hers.
"I do not fear you, Adam, I love you."
His lips crushed hers passionately as he started a slow, rhythmic movement, which soon built to a fevered pitch. He could not stop his body from taking command of his mind. Never had he felt this way. Never had his body burned with such a wild force, seeking total surrender.
Honor's hands moved over his shoulders, pulling him even closer to her. She cried out, but it was not from pain, it was when her body erupted and she felt herself being lifted higher and higher. Her mind and her body journeyed with her husband to a place of love and beauty.
Afterwards, Honor and Adam lay in each other's arms, neither wanting to break contact with the other, and both under the spell that had been woven about them, for they each knew it had been a shared experience. It was what happened when a man and a woman were fated for one another, a perfect match.
Adam rolled over to his side, relieving Honor of his weight, then he pulled her close to him. Staring into her face, he smiled. His eyes were warm and velvet soft.
Rebel Temptress (Historical Romance) Page 35