For those who would judge Clete harshly, I’d have to ask them if they ever served tea to the ghost of a mamasan they killed. I’d also ask them how they would like to live with the knowledge that they had rolled a fragmentation grenade into a spider hole where her children tried to hide with their mother. Those were not hypothetical questions for Clete. They were the memories that waited for him every night he lay down to sleep.
I was on the lawn and could see the carriage house and the driveway and the towering oak trees in the front yard. I turned around and looked at Clete, still lumbering after me, the gas container swinging from his arm. “What’s going on, gyrene?” I said.
He set the container down, his chest rising and falling inside his shirt. I walked back to him and removed my coat and pulled it over his shoulders. In the background I could see Alafair and Gretchen down by the coulee, helping Helen Soileau and Tee Jolie to their feet.
“It’s not over,” Clete said.
“You’re right. It never is,” I replied.
“You don’t look too good.”
“I’m okay. It’s just a flesh wound.”
“No, there’s no exit wound. Alafair was wrong, Dave. You’ve got a big leak in you. Sit down in the gazebo. I’ll be back.”
“You know better than that,” I said.
But the adrenaline of the last fifteen minutes was ebbing, and my confidence was fading. The yard and plantation house and windmill palms and azalea and camellia bushes bursting with flowers were going in and out of focus, like someone playing with a zoom lens on a camera.
“Hang tight, Dave,” Clete said.
He went through the kitchen entrance of the house, the gasoline sloshing inside the plastic container, the road flares sticking out of his back pocket, my coat draped on his shoulders. I followed him and was immediately struck by the density of the heat stored in the house. The fire Gretchen started in the dining room had spread along the carpet and climbed up two of the walls and was flattening against the ceiling. Smoke was climbing in a dirty plume through a hole that probably was once a conduit for the exhaust funnel on a gas-fed space heater.
“Clete?” I called out.
There was no answer.
“Clete! Where are you? It’s a match factory in here.”
I saw a door hanging open in the hallway. The gasoline container was sitting next to the doorjamb. Downstairs I could hear metal clanging and pipes rattling and bouncing on concrete. I went down the stairs, holding on to the handrail. A solitary light was burning behind a central heating unit, and I could see shadows moving on the wall, but I couldn’t see Clete. “What are you doing?” I said.
“They hung her up and beat the shit out of her,” he said.
Varina Leboeuf lay on the floor, surrounded by broken plaster and pieces of water pipe Clete had torn out of the ceiling. Manacles from separate sets of handcuffs were locked on her wrists. When she looked up at me, I could hardly recognize her face.
“She says Pierre told the gumballs to do it,” Clete said.
In spite of his wounds, he picked Varina up on his shoulder and labored up the stairs with her as though she were a sack of feed. “I’m going to finish up here. Take her outside,” he said.
“Time to dee-dee, Cletus.”
“Not yet,” he replied.
I managed to get Varina Leboeuf out on the lawn while Clete went to work inside. I couldn’t tell if she knew what was going on. I believed she was wicked and she used people and discarded them when they were no longer of value to her. I believed she was heartless and mean-spirited and narcissistic and understood no emotions other than her own pain or the pleasure she experienced during moments of self-gratification. I also felt I couldn’t judge her. In her own mind, she thought of herself as normal and believed her misdeeds were somehow necessary. The worst irony of all was that in many ways, her perspective wasn’t totally dissimilar to Tee Jolie’s. They were for sale in different ways, but just the same, they were for sale.
I left her on the lawn and went back inside. Clete had traversed the entire first floor of the home and returned to the kitchen, where the gas container was resting upside down in the sink. He removed the road flares from his back pockets and stared at me, waiting to see what his beat partner from the old First District in New Orleans was going to say. The color had left his face, from either blood loss or exhaustion. I could feel the heat through the dining room wall.
“I checked the old man’s study,” he said. “The place is vacuumed. We’ll never prove any of the things we’ve learned about these people. It’s the right thing to do, Streak. Some of those guys might still be out there.”
He waited for me to reply.
“Streak?” he said.
“Do it,” I said.
He pulled the plastic cap off a flare and inverted the cap and struck the tip of the flare against the striker. When the flare burst alight, he walked into the hallway with it and tossed it into the living room. Either because of the preheated condition of the house or the influx of cold oxygen from outside, the moment of ignition produced a stunning effect. The rooms abruptly filled with the rosy coloration of a sunset during the summer solstice. The glow intensified and seemed to gather in the water-stiffened wallpaper, the oak floors, the walnut balustrades, the antique furniture, and the bookshelves lined with leather-bound collectibles. We backed out the kitchen door into the coldness of the night as the entire house lit up in a strange and sequential fashion, as though someone were running from room to room, clicking on a series of lamps with red shades.
I heard no glass break, no explosion of a gas main, no violent sounds of studs and joists and nails wrenching apart in the heat. Instead, Croix du Sud Plantation was slowly collapsing and devolving back into itself, whispering its own story on the wind, sparks stringing off the roof, the only earthly reminder of the slaves and convicts who had built and maintained it disappearing with it inside the smoke.
Clete and I walked toward the coulee to rejoin Alafair and Helen and Gretchen. Our wounds were severe, but we would survive them. We were out of step and out of sync with the world and with ourselves, and knowing this, we held on to each other like two men in a gale, the fire burning so brightly behind us that the backs of our necks glowed with the heat.
IN THE SPRING Molly and Alafair and I returned to our old haunts in Key West, and three days later, Clete Purcel joined us at the motel on the foot of the island. Key West is a fine place to visit, and it reminds me in many ways of old New Orleans, with its gingerbread houses and palm trees and genteel sense of decay and neon-scrolled pretense at vice that in reality is an illusion. At one time it was the real thing. Like South Louisiana, it originated as a displaced piece of the Spanish and French colonial world that floated across the Caribbean and affixed itself to the southern rim of the United States.
Its culture was antithetical to the Enlightenment. Its residents were pirates and slavers and mulatto and Hispanic whores and American adventurers who hoped to create personal fiefdoms in the West Indies and Nicaragua. Its veneer of Christianity disguised a pagan world that provided a home to people who could never live in a society that was Anglo-Saxon in origin and governed by the descendants of Puritans. License and lucre constituted its ethos. Those who didn’t like it could take up sweet-potato farming in Georgia.
Almost year-round, the air was warm and smelled of salt and rain and tropical flowers from all over the world. The winter was not really winter at all, and therein may lie Key West’s greatest charm. If one does not have to brood upon the coming of winter and the shortening of the days and the fading of the light, then perhaps one does not have to brood upon the coming of death. When the season is gentle and unthreatening and seems to renew itself daily, we come to believe that spring and the long days of summer may be eternal after all. When we see the light trapped high in the sky on a summer evening, is it possible we are looking through an aperture at our future rather than at a seasonal phenomenon? Is it possible that the big party is jus
t beginning?
We scuba-dived off Seven Mile Reef and trolled for marlin and, in the evening, cooked redfish wrapped in tinfoil on a hibachi on the beach in front of our motel down at the southernmost point on the island. The waves were black at night and strung with foam when they capped on the sandbars, and toward dawn, when the stars went out of the sky, the sun would rise without warning in an explosion of light on the eastern rim of the world, and the water outside our motel window would be flat and calm and turquoise and blue, dimpled with rain rings, and sometimes a flying fish would be sailing through the air as though determined to begin a new evolutionary cycle.
It was grand to be there on the watery edge of my country, amid its colonial past and its ties to the tropical world of John James Audubon and Jean Lafitte and missionaries who had knelt in the sand in the belief that they had found paradise. I wanted to forget the violence of the past and the faces of the men we had slain. I wanted to forget the dissembling and prevarications that constituted the official world in which I made my living, and most of all, I wanted to forget the lies that I had told others about the events on the bayou.
They were lies of omission. The larger truth about the oil blowout on the Gulf of Mexico was not one that many people were interested in. Corporate villains are loathsome. Almost all of them avoid media exposure because they come across as corrupt, arrogant, and tone-deaf. We stare at their testimony before a congressional committee and ask ourselves how this or that gnome of a man was allowed to do so much damage to the rest of us. None of these men can function without sanction. Nations, like individuals, give up an addiction or a vice when they’re ready and not until then. In the meantime, you can join Candide in his garden or drive yourself crazy proselytizing those who have no interest in your crusade, such as the street people in Mallory Square. These may not be the happiest alternatives in the world, but they’re the only ones that I’ve been able to come up with.
Helen Soileau returned to her job, and after fighting with insomnia and nightmares for two months, she began seeing a psychotherapist. She sought out crowds and enjoyed loud parties and sometimes stayed later than she should have and went home with people whose names she wasn’t sure of in the morning. She did not mind elevators, as long as there were not more than two or three people in them. Airplanes were more of a challenge. Her fear had nothing to do with heights or a loss of control. She was supposed to undergo an MRI in Lafayette, but at the last moment she could not force herself to enter the metal cylinder. She was filled with shame and depression and failure, and when she looked in the mirror, she saw a stranger created by the Duprees when they locked the woman named Helen Soileau inside the freezer.
For that reason, if for no other, I was glad the Duprees were dead and glad that Varina Leboeuf was awaiting trial in the Iberia Parish stockade. I was also glad that I could do a good deed by convincing Helen to take a leave of absence and get on the Sunset Limited and join us among the coconut palms and ficus trees on a stretch of warm beach not far from the home of Ernest Hemingway.
My face was scarred, and Clete had undergone two surgeries, one for the wound in his side and one to remove the lead fragments that had moved next to his heart. I suspect we made an odd group out on the beach, but I didn’t care. Is there any worse curse than approval? Have you ever learned anything new from people who accept the world as it is? The bravest individuals I have ever known appear out of nowhere and perform heroic deeds we normally associate with paratroopers, but they’re so nondescript that we can’t remember what they look like after they have left the room. Saint Paul said there may be angels living among us, and this may have been the bunch he was writing about. If so, I think I have known a few of them. Regardless, it’s a fine thing to belong to a private club based on rejection and difference. I’ll go a step further. I believe excoriation is the true measure of our merit.
When Clete and I were with NOPD, we knew a black cross-dresser and male prostitute by the name of Antoine Ledoux who was raped repeatedly in Angola and came out a juicer and a junkie. But he got clean with the Work the Steps or Die, Motherfucker group and opened a shoeshine stand by the bus depot and freed himself of a predatory New Orleans subculture that only Tennessee Williams has written about honestly. All this happened before I was in A.A., so I asked Antoine one day how he managed to find a sanctuary from all the misery and pain that had constituted his daily life. Antoine replied, “Sometimes t’ings happen to you that ain’t your fault. When you come out on the other side, you ain’t never the same again. You paid your dues, and you got your own church wit’ your private pew. It’s the place where they cain’t hurt you no more. See? It’s simple.”
After our third week in the Keys, I received a postcard from Tee Jolie Melton forwarded from the department. She was living in West Hollywood, with guess who as a roommate? You’ve got it. None other than Gretchen Horowitz. The card read:
Dear Mr. Dave,
Gretchen has got a job at Warner Bros. and is taking classes at night at film school. We are so excited. WB is the studio where Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny were invented. I’m singing in a club and am going to make a demo. Our neighborhood is all men. Gretchen says don’t worry, they’re real safe. Are you okay now, Mr. Dave? You was hurt so bad.
The card was signed with the initials TJM because she had no more room on which to write. The next day I received a second card with the abbreviation “Cont.” at the top rather than a salutation. It read:
I blame myself for what happened to Blue. I go out to the ocean in Santa Monica and think I see her in the waves. I never figured out why they did that to her. I never figured out anything. I let them put junk in my arm and abort my baby. I don’t know why I let that happen. I think it’s all on me, though.
Your friend,
Tee Jolie
The third card arrived the following day. It read:
Dear Mr. Dave,
I haven’t give up. I’m going to make it out here. You’re going to see, you. Tell Mr. Clete Gretchen and me met John Goodman and he looks just like Mr. Clete.
Good-bye until I write again,
Tee Jolie
The early mornings were grand. We ate breakfast at a buffet on the terrace and watched the pinkness of the dawn dissolve into a hard blue sky and a seascape flecked with foam. Throughout the day, the view from the terrace was wonderful, the coconut palms bending in the wind, the edge of the surf etched by starfish and conch shells, while seagulls wheeled overhead and the clouds sometimes creaked with thunder. As I looked at the turquoise brilliance of the water and the channels of hot blue that were like rivers within the ocean, I wondered if we had failed to give nature credit for its restorative powers. Those moments were short-lived. The truth was my thoughts about nature’s resilience were self-serving, because I did not wish to spoil the mood for everyone else by dwelling upon the sludge from the blowout that had fouled the Gulf of Mexico from one end to the other. Regardless of what either our government or the captains of industry had to say, I believed the oil was out there, meshed inextricably with chemical dispersants, hanging like carpet on coral reefs and on oyster beds and at depths that seldom experience sunlight. I started to raise the subject with Clete on one occasion, then let it drop. Clete was still Clete, but since the second shootout on the bayou, he had been unduly burdened and had become more insular and detached than any of us, gazing at images that perhaps no one else saw.
One morning after breakfast, I realized what was on his mind, and it was not the horrific death of Alexis Dupree. Clete had made friends with three Vietnamese children whose mother worked at the motel, and rather than go out on the charter boat with me, he had bought cane poles and bobbers and hooks and lead sinkers and a carton of shrimp and had taken the children fishing in the surf. He waded out with them and baited their hooks and showed them how to cast their lines above a cresting wave into the swell where schools of baitfish flickered across the surface like a spray of raindrops. To give the children better access, he carried them one
by one onto a sandbar where they could throw their lines into water that was deeper and a darker blue and held bigger and more exciting fish.
He was bare-chested and wearing his Budweiser shorts that extended almost to his knees, his love handles hanging over the elastic band, his porkpie hat tilted forward on his forehead, his chest and shoulders and back tanned and scarred and hard-looking and shiny with lotion, gold curlicues of hair pasted on his skin. He was carrying an iPod, the headphones clamped on his neck, “Help Me, Rhonda” by the Beach Boys blaring from the foam-rubber earpieces.
I was looking straight at him from the deck of the motel, but I knew that in reality, Clete was no longer in Key West, Florida. Inside the driving rhythm of the Beach Boys’ music and the glaze of light on the ocean, I knew he had taken flight to a place on the opposite side of the world, where a young Eurasian woman was broiling fish for him on a charcoal blazer, aboard a sampan silhouetted against a red sun as big as China.
Unfortunately, his reverie and the tranquil moment he was enjoying would not last. The day had grown much warmer, and there was a smell like brass and electricity in the air, and to the south you could see a squall line moving toward the Keys. On top of the water, I could see the pink and blue air sacs of jellyfish, and triangular rust-colored shapes that at first I thought were remnants of the sludge that had floated east from the Louisiana coast. In actuality, I was looking at the leathery backs of stingrays that had been kicked toward the shore by the storm building on the southern horizon.
Within seconds, the waves had washed the jellyfish past the sandbar, encircling it, their poisonous tentacles floating like translucent string on the surface.
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