###
Sometime later, Utah woke to Mason stirring behind her. She'd fallen asleep curled on her side with his arm across her waist. He pushed his knee between her legs and probed.
She turned to find his impassioned face. He kissed her as he continued to probe. Utah grew aroused.
Hooking her leg with his arm, he thrust into her.
"Oh." The friction was incredible.
A low growl rumbled from him. Utah almost came when he stopped.
Withdrawing, he threw the covers off them and rolled her onto her back. A wild man. Pushing her legs open, he went down on her, his tongue lathing her hard bean.
She gripped the pillow as he worked her, coming with deep pulses, barely able to keep quiet. When she finished, he kissed his way up her body, licking her and taking her breasts into his mouth. When he kissed her mouth, his wild eyes bore into hers.
They'd never woken together in the middle of the night. That must be what fueled him. They'd never slept on the same bed together.
His eyes gave her an indication of the pleasure he would take from her now. It fueled her own. Utah let him lift her and guide her so that she was on her hands and knees. Mason spread her legs wider. Holding her hips, he kneeled behind her and the iron hardness of him shoved into her. Pulling her hips back with each penetration, he fucked her hard. Her breasts swayed. Their hips slapped together. Her flesh protested.
But the relentless pounding nailed her right where she needed him. With a series of cries, she came like she'd never come in her life.
Mason's low growl answered her, and after a few more tearing thrusts, he went still, buried deep inside her, pulsing.
Another low growl roared from Mason as he began his orgasm.
Utah's arms and legs trembled.
Mason kissed the small of her back before drawing out of her.
She collapsed onto the bed and he beside her, breathing as though he'd run five miles without stopping.
"Wow," she said.
"I still haven't had enough of you."
And Utah laughed. She hadn't had enough of him, either, not so that she could go a whole day without it. But they were getting there.
###
Utah woke to Mason's cheek against hers. And a cramp in her neck. Moving her head to a more comfortable position on Mason's arm, she opened her eyes. His were still closed. Her heart lurched with powerful affection.
This was going to be worse than she imagined. Don't think about it. She started to wiggle away from him, but his arm tightened and his eyes opened at the same time, instantly alert.
How did he do that?
Rolling on top of her, he spread her legs and gently separated her flesh. She was sore from the last time. He moved slowly, looking into her eyes. Utah's heart hitched with love.
He pushed into her and tenderly withdrew. The soreness faded. She was too wet for that to matter.
Cupping her face, he kissed her as he made love to her. His thick erection stroked her to building release. Not as intense as before, but sweet and just as potent. It took longer. After several minutes of him moving back and forth, she was ready for more.
She grabbed his butt and urged him on. He took the cue and rose up onto his hands, pumping his hips. When that didn't bring her to completion, he took hold of both her ankles and put them on his shoulders.
That created a delicious ache as he moved inside her. He touched her with his thumb next. Circular caresses sent her hurtling over the edge. Keeping her legs high, he finished pumping to follow her lead.
Mason lie beside her, spooning with her again. They stayed that way for a while longer, dosing.
"Do you have any plans for breakfast?" he asked.
"Did we just have it?"
He chuckled. "Let's shower and I'll make us something." He kissed her.
She kissed him back and pretty soon things began to heat up again.
"I can't go another round with you."
He smiled, a sexy, insatiable man.
"And I need a shower," she added, worried he'd actually try to fuck her again.
"Me, too."
"Me first." She managed to climb off the bed, trying not to look at his rumpled hair and attentive eyes.
She climbed in the shower after getting the water the right temperature. Closing her eyes, she put her face under the spray. It felt good. Her legs were a little stiff from having them open so much. And a telling soreness convinced her she wouldn't be able to have sex again for a week. She felt a tiny smile push up her mouth. Mason just about killed her trying to make up the fifteen years they'd been apart.
The shower curtain rattled open. Startled, she quickly wiped her eyes. Mason stepped into the shower with her.
She pointed her finger at him. "Don't get any ideas."
But he just leaned under the spray and kissed her, a quick peck on the mouth, but from him it had the same effect as one of his toe-curlers. His eyes smiled down at her when he lifted his head. As if her heart could melt any more.
She reached for the soap. "Okay, the only thing that's happening in here is a scrub down." She lathered her hands and began washing his chest.
He took the soap from her and treated her to the same. Pretty soon their bodies were slick. Mason's back blocked most of the water. His hands slid over her skin. She had to stop him from going places that would only fire things back up between them, laughing when her attempts failed.
Her feet slipped on the soapy floor when she turned. He caught her and she giggled at the way their skin slipped. By the time they rinsed and dried off, Utah no longer felt like laughing. Mason kissed her and carried her back to bed, where he proved that once more was possible.
A while later, she slipped into her sundress.
Outside his bedroom door, she didn't hear any sounds. Encouraging so far. But when she emerged at the top of the stairs, Andy turned from where he sat at the snack bar, freezing in the act of lifting a bagel to his open mouth when he saw her.
"Utah. I had no idea you were here." He took a bite of his bagel, his gaze shifting to Mason behind her.
Utah fought a raging blush.
"Morning, Dad." Mason sauntered into the kitchen. "I was just going to make Utah some breakfast."
Reluctantly, Utah followed him. Andy pulled out the chair next to him.
"Late breakfast."
She sat. "You, too." She gestured to his bagel.
"I lost track of you after the hay ride tours," he said to Mason.
Mason put a cup of coffee in front of Utah. "We went for our own ride."
She frowned at him for his choice of words. At least Andy was surprised she was here. That meant he hadn't heard them. Log homes sure did absorb noise.
Mason took out a pan and began to sauté onions and peppers.
Andy resumed reading his paper as though they'd been a family for a while now. Then he put the paper down.
"All right. I can't stand it anymore. Mason, does this mean you're going to stay now?"
Mason went still. Frying vegetables was the only sound that accompanied his blank look.
"I'm thrilled you spent the night, Utah. It's what I've been hoping for." Then back at Mason, he repeated, "You're going to stay, right?"
Mason said nothing. His blank look turned to her and there was no mistaking his uncertainty. Nothing had changed.
Utah's insides ground into reverse. He wasn't going to stay. After all they'd done, he was going to leave her.
Why?
His last mission. She should have forced him to tell her what happened, tell her the reason he'd come home in the first place. Whatever it was, it was big enough to keep him distant. Until he resolved that, he belonged to no one and nothing. Her, or Timberline.
"Your father asked you a question," she said.
Still, he said nothing. Cornered. Trapped.
Sharp regret pierced her chest. "You aren't?" Did he already know?
Last night wasn't enough. She should have known this could happen. She
had known. The magic of last night had made her forget, that's all.
She stood from the stool. "I should go now."
"Utah." Mason strode around the snack bar and trailed her to the door.
"I'll walk."
He grasped her arm. "Don't do this."
"Don't do what? Care that you're going to leave Timberline again?" She yanked her arm free and left the house. It would be a long walk into town but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered right now.
She didn't make it far down Andy's dirt driveway when Mason drove Andy's truck alongside her. "Get in, Utah."
She kept walking.
"Utah."
She ignored him.
"At least let me drive you to your car."
She stopped walking. She didn't have to be childish about this. He was the one with the problem, not her. She climbed into the truck.
After he drove a while, he finally said, "It isn't what you think."
"What is it, then?"
He didn't reply and moments later, he parked alongside her PT Cruiser. Utah got out of the truck and hurried to the driver's door. She wasn't fast enough. Mason pushed the door shut when she began to open it.
"Don't do this, Utah."
What did he expect her to do? She flipped the dark strands of hair that had fallen alongside her face back with the jerk of her head. "Last night was great. Really. But that's all it was, okay? It was just one great night."
"Utah-"
"No, Mason. You can't call all the shots now. This time I know you're going to leave me, so let's not pretend there's a future for us."
"It was more than a great night to me," he said.
"Oh yeah?" She didn't miss the uncertainty lurking in his eyes. "Will you stay, Mason? Take over for your dad so he can retire?"
He closed his eyes briefly, torn on the inside. She meant something to him but it wasn't enough.
"I have to go back," he said.
"To what? Mason, why is it so important to you to distance yourself from people who matter most in your life? Why do your missions matter more than them? Than me." She stretched her arms to indicate around her. "And this town. You can't tell me you don't like it here because I heard the fondness in your voice yesterday."
"I do like it here. I didn't when I left the first time, but now...now I...." He sighed and looked off to the mountains.
"What happened, Mason? Just tell me. Please."
His gaze shifted to her.
"I need to know," she urged him. "This is about more than you now."
He stood motionless, staring at her without talking. She didn't push him, just waited. Finally he turned and walked slowly toward the rodeo arena. Perplexed, worried, and more curious than ever, she followed.
He didn't stop until he climbed the stairs of one entry and leaned on the iron railing. She sat on the second to lowest bleacher and looked up at him.
"My team and I were sent to Monrovia, Liberia to take out a terrorist cell." He kept his back to her as he spoke and she didn't interrupt him. "We had plenty of intelligence on their location. It was supposed to be clean. Go in. Take them out. Mission accomplished. What we didn't know was the village where we found them wasn't evacuated. It was, but there were still some people left behind." He stopped.
Her heart twisted painfully, not having to guess how hard this was for him. He couldn't talk about it before. That didn't mean it had gotten any easier. But as much as she needed him to tell her, he needed to say it. He needed to get it out of him, out in the open, and off his conscience, or at least begin to do so.
"We thought we had our target isolated in a small building, an abandoned school. We set explosives." He stopped again.
Unable to stay away, Utah got up and went to him, putting her hand on his back and shoulder. She looked down at his hand gripping the rail, so tight his knuckles were pale.
She'd never seen him like this. Tears burned her eyes at the torture she felt along with him. Mason. Her hero. Brought to his knees over tragedy.
"We found out later that our target deliberately put women and children in the building. No one survived."
She covered her mouth, but not in time to smother her gasp. "Oh, Mason."
"The target knew about our mission. We thought he would be there. Instead..."
Women and children had died. It explained so much, his lengthy leave, his distance.
"Mason, it wasn't your fault."
He gripped her shoulders and gave her a jolt. "Listen to me."
His intensity and the torment he must have suffered, was still suffering, brought tears to her eyes.
"The target got away."
Trembling inside, she put her hand on his cheek. "It wasn't your fault."
"I tell myself that every day. But it doesn't change the fact that we killed innocent women and children."
"You didn't know."
"We should have checked."
"You were told the village was evacuated."
"We still should have checked the school."
"You were told no one was there."
His eyes became a chilling wall of indifference. "You wanted to know why I have to go. Now you do."
"To avenge those women and children?"
"It's more than that. I can't run from it. I have to go back so I can put it behind me. I have to put it behind me. If I don't, it will kill me."
To hear him confirm what she'd already surmised left her cold inside. The worst part was she could understand why he had to do it. He hadn't changed much from the teenager he'd been. He carried much heavier burdens now, but his spirit hadn't changed. Mason was never the kind of man to walk away from anything.
Except her.
She nodded, lowering her eyes. Putting her hands on his chest, she caressed him through his t-shirt. "Thank you for telling me."
He put his fingers under her chin and lifted her head. "You could come with me."
She rose up onto her toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth. "My home is here." She couldn't leave now. "Besides, what would I do while you're off slaying dragons from your past?"
"Wait for me."
"I can do that here."
She touched his face once more. Pressed a kiss to his mouth. Then stepped back.
"I can do that from here, Mason." She let herself look into his eyes a moment longer, then turned and stepped down the rodeo arena stairs, walking away from him with tears dripping down her face. She was glad he couldn't see them.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I can do that from here.
Damn, if those words didn't keep ringing through his head for the last three days. Mason stopped pacing at the living room window and stared at the sunny horizon. He wanted her. He might even take over as sheriff for her, but he'd have to give up his career with Delta.
Unless he joined the reserves...
The surge of rightness he felt unsettled him. Quickly on its heels, however, was certainty that he wasn't ready for that. He wanted to look back on his life when he was old and not feel as if he missed something, and left something unfinished.
Agitated, he walked back to the snack bar. The issue was more than living in Timberline. Would he be able to overcome West Africa if he lived here? The reserves might not be enough for him. It seemed like such a half-effort. A copout. A sneaky way to keep running from his colossal failure while not seeming to.
His dad looked up from the paper. No sympathy there. He'd reprimanded him for sleeping with Utah when he wasn't sure about his future.
"Call your commander," his dad said.
Mason was tired of him pushing. "It's not that simple."
Andy slapped the paper down and stood up. "What did you think you would be doing when you joined Special Forces? People die, Mason. That's what war is."
Killing people. He hadn't told his dad that he'd killed women and children. The darkness that crept into him with the reminder didn't go unnoticed.
"You don't understand." Utah was probably the only person who did. And h
e might lose her as a result.
"Utah told me."
Utah had told him about West Africa. At first he felt betrayed, and then he should have expected it. She cared about him. She thought talking about it would help him.
"Then you know why I have to go back."
"No. You don't have to fight back with a gun, Mason. You can fight back here. Work on letting it go."
Mason sighed and walked back to the window.
"If you were that certain you'd go back, you shouldn't have started anything with Utah."
He turned to face him. "You encouraged me."
"I didn't encourage you to break her heart."
Was her heart broken?
"Marry her."
The shockwave that followed stiffened his muscles. Marriage? To Utah? The girl bullies tormented with her bike? The one who got drunk off two beers? Utah, on the hood of his Mustang. Utah, in the back of the wagon. Utah...waiting for him.
The doorbell interrupted. Mason went there and opened it to Keegan's tense face.
"Curtis found the Liberian." Keegan entered.
All the teammates who'd survived had vowed to track down the target. They'd lost him in West Africa. Now Curtis had found him. The team had been working in secret to plan a retaliation.
"He's tracking his movement," Keegan said.
Mason's dad moved toward them. "What have you been up to, Mason?"
He wished Keegan would have waited until they were in private. Then he realized Keegan wasn't as anxious to avenge the innocent as he was. He'd been spending a lot of time with Roanne.
"Commander Dumont has a mission for us when we come off leave," Mason said.
Keegan nodded, not enthused.
"We can plan the hit then."
"Mason, what are you talking about? You're going to go rogue to kill the terrorist who caused those innocent women and children to be killed?"
"And one of our own," he said.
"If you can't go through legitimate channels-"
"Dumont has another team assigned to him. He doesn't want any of us on it because he's afraid the emotional impact was too great."
"Really? He sounds like a smart man to me."
Mason had to do this. If he did nothing, he'd be haunted by it the rest of his life. No regrets. Miss nothing. That's what he had to do. He'd be worthless to Utah if he didn't.
This Time in Timberline Page 22