Oh, how she wanted to. The past aside, she’d missed having Griff in her life with all her heart. He made her laugh. Her cares and worries all seemed lessened with him there. But there was Jeb. She couldn’t abandon her baby.
“I have to think, Griff,” she said, her voice feather soft.
“So go and think. I’ll be at the barbecue.”
She left Griff and found Clay, telling him she was going to check that the bakery doors were locked. He frowned as though he knew she were lying, but as usual he didn’t say anything to stop her. It was a good thing, because she needed to be alone to make what could well be the most important decision of her life.
Whether or not she should—or could—give up Jeb for a second time.
She ran to the one place she could always find comfort since she’d come to Claiborne Landing—Sadie’s bakery. The place where the two of them had worked together, laughed together, and cried buckets of tears together. Only now, her grandmother had moved onto a new life of her own and Tessa had to cry alone.
Dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, she gazed around the familiar furnishings, wondering if she could give up what she knew and loved so well. Her heart told her in no uncertain terms that Griff had changed—his caring so much about his parents and her grandmother had proven that. He’d even proven he was putting her first, offering to walk away and let her marry Clay in peace.
Though if she did marry Clay, Griff had also said he wasn’t leaving until he found what she was hiding. It felt as if he was still trying to have things go his way. But if the situation was reversed and she felt with all her heart that Griff was keeping something very important from her, wouldn’t she have declared the same thing?
Yes, she would have. So Griff was sincere. She wanted to take a risk that she was different and could go with him wherever he went in the Air Force, so he would be happy. But that would mean leaving their child behind. That’s what her father and mother had done to her, although each for different reasons, and she couldn’t abandon Jeb.
Could she? More tears fell, for the first time, for the little girl she’d been who had been left behind by a mother who had had no choice, and a father who had made the wrong one. She finally understood what her mother had been going through. She hadn’t been able to choose between her husband and her child, either, and she’d just done what she’d thought was best for both.
Once Tessa’s tears were dried, she knew she had to do the same for her little boy as she had done years ago when he was born—make the best choice.
If she married Clay, she didn’t think Griff would rest until he found out why she’d chosen his brother over him. She knew she wouldn’t. If she told Griff why herself, could he understand how important it was for Clay and Jeb to remain a family? Even if, with his new perspective, he did, not being able to parent his own child might well drive a thicker wedge between Griff and Clay than she was already sensing was there, which she knew was because of her causing Clay to have to hide something this important from his brother. She couldn’t be responsible for their relationship falling apart completely, and she didn’t see how it would hold up at all with the news.
And more than all that, she was afraid, just as she’d been years before, that if Griff knew the truth, something would go terribly wrong and she would wind up losing him again—and maybe even Jeb, too.
No matter what she chose, there would be hurt. She could only pray that everyone’s life would turn out for the best, and that this time around, her decision would be the right one.
And that was what she told Clay a half hour later back at the farm.
“Are you certain this is what you want?” Clay asked, keeping his voice low, even though Tessa and he were secluded in Griff’s old room away from the guests and family. She would have preferred Clay’s old room in which to break off their arrangement, but Mary had designated it a temporary baby and kid rest stop, and it was occupied.
“I think it’s the best thing to do. With Griff out of here, there’s no chance he can come between you and Jeb.”
“Once you marry Griff, even if it doesn’t work out, there’ll be no turning back to become Jeb’s mother. I won’t put my son through that.”
The two words, “my son,” had just a little more emphasis to them than usual.
“You’re angry.”
“No sense in being angry.” He gave a single shake of his head. “I just don’t want Jeb to go through any more upheaval. It’s been hard enough on us, what with Lindy, and now this.”
“I know. But it would be far worse if he had to worry about losing you. Marrying Griff is the only way I can think of to help ensure that never happens.”
“That doesn’t mean it won’t,” Clay warned.
“I know. But the odds will be better against Griff ever finding out anything if he’s off somewhere far away with me.”
Clay’s only comment was a slight movement of his jaw. His eyes were filled with doubt—and resignation.
“After you tell Jeb the wedding’s off, I plan to tell Griff that the two of us can return to North Carolina as soon as possible.” She reached up and patted him awkwardly on the arm. “Clay, thank you for everything.”
He seemed to relax. “You and Griff always did belong together. Be happy, Tessa. You deserve it.”
“I will be.” She would try to be, anyway. Tessa wanted Griff, she needed him in her life. She knew she was doing the best thing for Jeb, assuring that he would never be in the middle of a family dispute, or made to move with a father he’d never known.
“You’ll find a good mother for Jeb, right?” she asked Clay, feeling a hot flood of tears rise in her eyes. She blinked them back.
He held up both his hands and half smiled down at her. “Oh, no. I’m not answering any questions about that, nor am I making any promises.”
The worry that sprung up inside her like a tiny gusher must have reached her face, for he added, “Trust me to be the father you always thought I could be, Tessa. And don’t worry so much. Jeb will always have his grandmother in his life. That worked well for you, didn’t it?”
It had. The reminder helped; it helped a lot. “What will you say to Jeb? Do you want me to be there?”
“I’ll handle it alone, thanks. You go on and talk to Griff. Make your plans, get ready to leave. I’ll break it to everyone after you’re gone.”
She nodded. “Thank you.” Much as she wanted to tell Jeb herself, she knew if she did she might not be able to go through with it. This was the best way.
With a quick, sisterly kiss on Clay’s cheek, she rushed out of the bedroom and down the stairs, wanting—needing—to put her focus on Griff. She couldn’t look back at what she was leaving behind—if she did, she was afraid she would turn around, and all could be lost.
Griff could sense the difference in Tessa as she approached. Her eyes held purpose; her shoulders were squared back and her chin up. She was ready to tell him something, but whether it was “get out of town” or “I love you” he had no idea.
“C’mon,” she said, pulling on his arm until he followed her back toward the barn. Behind them, their departure was noted, loudly.
“This time she’s kidnapping him!” Jasper said in a gleeful voice.
“Sadie will be so sorry she missed this,” Reba warbled.
“Don’t you even think about ruining my picnic, Griff Ledoux,” his mother called out.
Griff looked over his shoulder to reply to her that this really wasn’t his fault, but Clay was already at her side, tapping her on the shoulder and distracting her.
“He’ll take care of your mom,” Tessa said. When they reached the other side of the barn, she glanced around to make sure no one was snooping on them, pushed back her bangs and wiped her palms on her skirt, then faced him squarely.
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Griff regarded her warily, not liking the unrelaxed look in her eyes. “That’s good, right?”
“Of course!”
“Then why d
o you look like it isn’t?”
Griff was sensing, she knew, her sorrow over locking herself out of Jeb’s life. She had to be more careful.
“I just hate the thought of Jeb not having a mama.” Oh, Lord, that was so, so true.
“We’ll have our own kids. As soon as you want.” He slipped his arm around her shoulder.
Taking a deep breath, Tessa desperately tried to pretend Jeb wasn’t hers, that she was starting a brand-new life with Griff, but it was as if she was denying a part of her body existed. She had to think of something else.
“And I admit you were right,” she said. “I was worried about losing my security. But if Grandma can go off and live for love, I guess I can, too.”
Griff felt as if it was almost too good to be true. He hadn’t been trying to leave Tessa without a family when he’d gotten Horace to ask Sadie out, but it had worked out for the best.
“So when do we leave?” she asked brightly. “Where are we going after North Carolina?” The questions she was asking reminded her of when she’d been little, and asked the same ones, trying to be brave like her mama had taught her to be. “I guess I’ll need to sell the bakery.”
Don’t look back, her mama had said. Always look forward, to new experiences, new friends, new homes. We can make a home wherever we are, as long as we remember we love each other. In her mama’s best tradition, that’s what she would do with Griff.
“We don’t have to leave town right away. We can talk about all that when we’re alone. Maybe over dinner tonight?”
“No, let’s go, Griff. Let’s get started on our new life. I want to see what it is that kept you away all these years. Plus I want you to be doing what makes you happy.”
“You make me happy.” Griff pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder. He’d gotten his wish. Tessa was marrying him, not his brother. However, the underpinnings of guilt still remained. Had he done the right thing? Was taking her away from everything she held dear—friends, the bakery, and her home—the right thing to do?
Griff hoped so. He sensed something was still bothering Tessa, but he was happy enough about her change of heart to brush the feeling aside. She was just getting used to the idea of leaving the familiar, that was all. As soon as she saw how exciting her new life with him would be, she’d get her mind off Claiborne Landing.
“So you’ve told Clay the wedding is off?”
She lifted her head to nod up at him. “We both decided that the sooner you and I leave, the easier it will be on him and Jeb, what with the gossips and all. In fact, I was thinking of just driving off tonight and calling your parents and Sadie from the road—”
“Yipeeyahooee!”
The yell of total rejoicing that seemed to come from the picnic area was so unlike anything they’d ever heard before, they stared at each other, stunned.
“That sounded like Jeb,” Tessa said. She pulled away with a hasty explanation. “Since Clay’s not telling anyone yet, we don’t want to give anything away.”
“Good thing everyone’s used to us disappearing together and won’t guess.”
She glanced up at him and saw the half grin that was back on his face. “Don’t get cocky. We aren’t married yet.”
“I’ll wait that long.”
She shook her head at him, but she was smiling, too, as they moved around the barn’s corner and found Jeb was the center of attention.
His eyes lit up like Fourth of July sparklers when he saw them. He trotted toward them, followed by Jasper and Miss Reba and the breakfast club, and Jacques and Mary, with a reluctant Clay bringing up the rear.
“So what’s this Jeb has been telling us? You and Clay have called off the wedding?” Jacques asked, his face carefully neutral as he pushed back his hair with his hand.
Tessa glanced at Clay, who lifted up his palms. “Jeb got away before I could tell him it was all a secret.”
“Heck, Deputy, that’s no secret,” Jasper said, gazing from Tessa to Clay and back. “Everybody knew it was coming.”
A wave of giggles went over the bunch.
“I’m glad the wedding’s called off,’ Jeb said, “’cause now I don’t have to share my dad.” He grinned up at Tessa. “But I still like you.”
“Thanks.” She smiled at him through the pain she felt at having to deny her son. “And I still love you, Jeb.”
“No, you love Uncle Griff, ’cause you’re gonna marry him, right?”
Her mouth dropped open, and she glared at Clay.
Clay shrugged. “Hey, I definitely told him not to tell anyone that part.”
“I didn’t,” Jeb denied, but then Clay pointed to the crowd around them, and his eyes got big. “Uh-oh. Good thing I’m only six, huh?”
Everyone except Tessa and Griff started talking at once, and Griff squeezed Tessa’s hand and got everybody’s attention. “Good news could never be kept quiet long. It’s true. Tessa and I were planning on going quietly off to North Carolina where I’m stationed and getting married.”
“Over my dead body!” Mary said, moving forward to hug Tessa.
“It’s okay with me,” Jeb said cheerfully. “I want Uncle Griff to be happy.”
Tessa felt numb. Jeb wanted his uncle Griff to be happy. Not a thought toward her happiness. But then again, why should the little boy think about her? He didn’t know the truth. To the child, she was just a family friend. She could go, and he would never realize what he’d lost.
“I want Griff to be happy, too, dear,” Mary said, stepping back and surveying them both with a shake of her head. “Which is why they are not going to elope. We’re having the wedding at a church, and the reception right here afterward, and everyone’s invited!”
A cheer went up from the guests.
“That is, if it’s okay with you two.”
Still overwhelmed from thinking about Jeb, Tessa gazed up at Griff, who slipped his arm around her waist and drew her close. She leaned against him, hoping the love she felt from him would fill the empty spaces in her heart from leaving Jeb and losing Sadie, but desperately worried it wouldn’t be enough. She’d felt the same fear years before, when Griff had wanted her to marry him and leave everything that was familiar, a feeling she had begun to hate but felt powerless to change.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Griff told his mother.
“Of course it’s okay with us,” Tessa said, thinking that her voice sounded remote, but deciding she was wrong when she saw Mary beam even more widely and felt Griff give her a loving squeeze of approval.
“Yahoo!” Jasper called out, reminding her that there were still people surrounding both her and Griff. “There’s gonna be a wedding after all!”
There was, and it was set for the next Saturday. Tessa coped only because all she really had to do was close down the bakery and the house, and she had Griff’s help with those. In Sadie’s absence, Mary had been delighted to help with details such as notifying everyone Sadie had originally invited—Tessa had given her Sadie’s list—arranging for the church and minister, and talking to Judy, their church organist, about playing “The Wedding March,” just in case Sadie didn’t get her messages in time to make it back.
That her grandmother might not make it, Tessa thought as she surveyed the bakery’s kitchen one final time before officially shutting down the Shady Shoppe, was really bothering her. It was already Thursday, and Sadie hadn’t returned any of the voice messages Tessa had left. She wasn’t sure her grandmother even knew there was going to be a wedding—and she dearly wanted Sadie to be there.
In fact, she wanted to talk to Sadie anyway. Only her grandmother would understand the pain she was feeling at her realization that her going away meant very little to Jeb, even though her managing to keep his true parentage secret meant everything to the child’s life.
She took a deep breath and let it slowly out. Get a grip, she told herself. Jeb was perfectly happy with Clay, and that’s how she’d wanted it from the star
t.
Behind her, she felt a gentle rush of air against her skin, and then she was enveloped in Griff’s arms and his lips were kissing her neck, bared by her ponytail. His arms crossed under her breasts and pulled her backward, against the hardness of his body. Closing her eyes, she relaxed and let out a tiny sigh of contentment. Being in his arms seemed so right. Since she’d agreed to marry him that was always her first thought whenever he held her, and then she would stop thinking, and desire would take over.
But she couldn’t stop thinking today. Holding her clipboard out to one side, she twisted around until she faced him, trying to ignore how good her breasts felt brushing against his chest. There was just too much to be done. She gave him a kiss on his cheek and then pointed toward the door.
“The Realtor’s due any second.”
“Okay. I’ll stop kissing you when she gets here.” He leaned his head down, but she shook her head and ducked out of his arms.
“If I keep kissing you, I won’t have my wits about me when I talk to her.”
“That’s a compliment, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is.” Like he didn’t know.
“Oh, good.”
“Not necessarily. I need my wits about me to get everything ready for our move.” Her eyes teased him. “You might not get kissed again until after the wedding.”
“That’s two whole days!” He plucked the clipboard out of her fingers and put it aside on the counter. By the time she realized what he was planning, she found herself lifted and sitting on the island, with one leg on either side of Griff. “I’m on vacation. I’m not waiting two whole days to have fun.”
She giggled. “Okay. I’ll just have to fit you in.” She studied her watch. “I’m available for kissing at approximately 2:00 p.m. tomorrow. Will that work for you?”
“I’m not clock-watching, either.” Leaning forward, he met her lips with his own, and Tessa leaned into him. Yearning quickly overtook her desire to tease him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and slid forward until her body was flush against his. He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping in between her parted lips, and she moaned with pleasure. His fingers wound under her T-shirt, caressing the bare skin of her back. For the life of her, she couldn’t think of any reason to stop him, so she kept kissing him until she began to forget all her problems and where she was and that she had issued a “no lovemaking until after the ceremony” rule to begin with.
Kidnapping His Bride (Silhouette Romance) Page 12