by Indiana Wake
“I don’t know when I’ll get mine,” Martha, the youngest one whined.
“Chin up, sister, you’ll get a good man,” Ruth said to her.
“But not as rich as yours, or as sweet as Georgia’s,” Martha made a face.
“Even if you don’t get one like ours, you’ll get one that is just fine. It isn’t like you have a monster face or anything,” Georgia said and all three of them fell into laughter.
Lauren’s heart ached at their words and she dropped her head to hide her face. They were right of course. Her ‘monster face’ had eaten up all her desires, dreams, and wishes. She had no hope left in her that anything good could ever happen. With a heart as heavy as the house, she discreetly made her way out to the backyard. In the shed behind the house, they had a milk cow and a few chickens. When things got too bad, she would come out here and talk to them. Grabbing a hand full of corn she threw it to the hens. Clucking excitedly they scratched in the dirt until they had found all the sweet morsels she had thrown. Then she watched as they walked back to a small bush and climbed on top. There they perched together like a happy family. Lauren longed for such friendship and she loved to spend time with the chickens. Listening to their excited clucks or watching them as they scratched about. There was something therapeutic about them and they were never cruel to her.
She looked down at her hands and saw her twisted and burnt right hand and it left her feeling so lonely. Two of her fingers were fused together. The rest of the hand was covered in raised skin, puckered and an angry red. That scar spread from her face down to her ankles. What man would ever be able to look at her with anything other than disgust? Tears threatened to fall, but she fought them back. She still had her faith and she said a quiet prayer. Giving thanks for all she had and asking for guidance for her future.
Chapter 3
Elizabeth had answered almost every message that she thought would accept Lauren. Now she had to sit back and wait. It was difficult and worrying as she waited with bated breath. Hoping and praying that she would get replies and be able to answer, then receive answers and re write? It was a troublesome time difficult but she had spread her net wide and was hoping the ones with the lowest requirements would be desperate and get back to her quickly. She had lied about everything. In her letters, she had shown Lauren as a beautiful young girl with charms and confidence and she had said that she was desperate to marry. She told them of a copper-haired beauty with haunting green eyes that any man would love to behold. Then she mentioned that the marriage must be arranged quickly and that Lauren could leave at once. Now that all the letters were sent, she waited for the first acceptance. It was only a few weeks until Joseph’s arrival. She had very little time left to settle things with Lauren and look after the arrangements for Georgia’s engagement as well.
The good thing was that Ruth had sailed off to Louisiana. She was glad that one of her daughters had found her way out. Now that it was Georgia’s turn, she didn’t want to risk that Lauren’s presence would spoil things.
So each night she prayed and hoped that out of the many men she had written to on Lauren’s behalf, that one of them would agree to marry her instantly. That’s when the first response arrived.
Elizabeth almost jumped for joy when she found the letter addressed to Lauren. Quickly she hid it under her arm and then sneaked out and up to her room. Her heart was beating like a horse. Please let it be an acceptance. The letter was from Henry Van Percy. He was one of the first advertisements she had written to and for a second she was angry. Why should the monster get such a good husband? Then a smile crossed her face. Henry had few expectations in a wife and he would never marry Lauren, but at least she would be away from here and would no longer be able to poison the marriage prospects of her daughters. When she opened the letter and began to read, her eyes widened and a smile appeared on her face. It said:
Dear Lauren,
I read your letter. Thank you for responding to my matrimonial advertising message. I am sure you are as beautiful as you say in your letter and I cannot wait to see you. I can sense that you and I would be of great understanding. I agree with you and don’t see why we have to waste time in these customary letter exchanges. I am a man of straight words. I intend to marry you and that would be as soon as possible. Enclosed along with this letter is a train and stagecoach ticket to the Montana Territory for the twenty-fourth of this month. If you make the right decision, I will be waiting for you.
Love,
Henry
Elizabeth read the letter repeatedly to confirm that she understood it correct. Henry had not only accepted her proposal but had also sent Lauren the tickets. And those for the twenty-fourth. It was perfect as it was well before Joseph’s arrival. Things couldn’t have been more perfect. Elizabeth felt herself giddy with joy at her marvelous planning. She had found a way to get rid of the beast at last.
Lauren stared at her mother’s face in shock, not believing the words which came out of her mouth. She was sending her across the country to get married. Married?! And she didn’t even know the man.
“All you need to know, beast, is that this man wants to marry you and is gentlemanly enough to send you a ticket. Now don’t be a spoilsport and turn him down. I would expect you to be pleased. To make the best of this opportunity which you may never get again ever,” Elizabeth growled at her and Lauren flinched back.
“But mother, all I am saying is that it would have been nice if I would have written to him myself… to see if we …” she tried to say but was briskly cut off.
“You do not have to say. All you have to do is pack and leave!”
Lauren dared not say another word. She silently made her way back to her room and then sobbed. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to marry. Of course, she did but she wanted someone to select on her own, not someone who was imposed on her by her mother. By evening, she made another attempt to talk to Elizabeth. “Can’t this be delayed a little?” she asked in a small voice as she served them their meal.
“What do you mean delayed?” Elizabeth glared at her. “I mean, until Georgia’s engagement. It would be just a couple of days,” she said and her mother’s face turned red.
“You want to stay here and ruin my daughter’s relationship?”
“Mother, I don’t mean …”
“Of course you mean that. You don’t want your sisters to be happy, do you? You want to scare off their fiancés with your ugly face so that no one marries them, just like you! No, Lauren, I am not going to let that happen. I won’t risk Georgia or Martha’s future with your presence. You are going to Montana on the twenty-fourth and that is it! Now take your repulsive face away from my sight.”
Lauren never spoke a word about it again. She knew that the decision has been made on her behalf and there was no room for discussion.
The days passed quickly and the nearer the date came, the more uneasy her feelings became. One minute she was delighted, she was getting married and she felt like a young girl excited and nervous. The next minute she was terrified. As much as life was hard, it was what she knew and she loved her family. What if this was some trick? What if this man didn’t want her? There was something about all this that was unsettling for Lauren. Firstly she hadn’t seen any of the letters with Henry. This meant she had no idea what Elizabeth had told him. For all she knew, her mother could have lied to him about everything and Lauren would never lie to anyone, especially the person who trusted her written words to make her his bride. So she worried about his reaction. If he knew about her then it was a dream come true, but if he didn’t… As she had these thoughts, she felt dreadful. Surely her mother would never do anything so awful, so dishonest. She would never con someone into taking her. But maybe she would… to get her out of the house. It was that thought that filled her stomach with ice water. What would Henry’s reaction be when he saw her in person. The scars on her face were not a pretty sight for anyone. The more she thought of it, the more worried she became but there was no way she could say anything to
her mother. Elizabeth was going beyond herself in preparation for Joseph’s arrival. This was another thing that upset Lauren. She wanted to be a part of Georgia’s happiness, because contrary to what her sisters believed, she loved all three of them dearly. But obviously, the sentiments were not returned.
So she stayed awake most nights wondering about Henry. Sometimes she dreamed and he was a lovely man. Not attractive but kind and loving and they had children and lived on a little farm. It was so wonderful she would wake with joyous tears in her eyes and a feeling of such love. Other nights he laughed when he met her and then chased her back onto the train. They chased her off and she was haunted by people mocking, shouting, and trying to hurt her. After these dreams, she woke with fearful tears in her eyes and a stone cold feeling in her heart. If only she could write to him, talk to him but she couldn’t. By the time he would receive her letter, she would already be halfway there. So eventually she prayed that this would be her salvation and decided that she would walk with the wind and see where it would lead her.
Chapter 4
It was Lauren’s last night in her home. She stared at the walls that had hidden her from the world for the last fifteen years and had been a happy home in the eight before that. The first years of her life had been filled with happy times, or at least she thought they were. Sometimes it was hard to remember anything from before the fire.
Maybe this traveling to the West was for the best after all. And who knew maybe marrying Henry would be the best thing for her. She could hear her sisters and mother laughing and talking downstairs. They were decorating the house for the big arrival that was the day after tomorrow. She sighed and then let her eyes close, praying that whatever was waiting for her on the other side was better than what she had now.
When it was time to go, she carried her small case down the stairs. “I will miss you all,” she said.
“Well yes,” her mother said. “You go now before you are late.” With that, she turned back to her other daughters, who were all laughing and talking; and Lauren was dismissed.
Putting her head high, she walked out of the house and pulled her veil down over her head as she made her way to the waiting carriage.
It took two long weeks by train and then another week by stage coach before she reached Helena, Montana Territory. The journey had been tough for Lauren. At first it was the stares, as she sat in the carriage with her black veil down. People thought she was a widow and kept away from her, maybe thinking her bad luck would rub off on them. She had suffered from motion sickness and she was sure that she had lost a little weight. Most of the time she kept to herself, and if people were in the carriage, then she wore her veil. As she drew closer, she wondered how to meet Henry? Should she wear her veil or get this over with. It was a difficult question and she was so worried that it made her sick again. So she prayed and it calmed her mind and it came to her. It didn’t matter; she should do as she pleased.
She was grateful when the stagecoach came to a stop. The last leg of the journey had been crowded and she was the only female. Fortunately, the men left her alone after she refused to answer their questions. They let her step out first and she did so into a wall of heat. But it didn’t matter; she could bear anything except for being sick again. She pulled her bonnet down and adjusted her veil. In the end, she had decided the last thing she wanted was people staring at her. She’d had enough of that already.
The nerves were making her hands shake and her knees feel weak as she searched the street looking for someone who could be Henry. Then it dawned on her how would she know?
There were a few dozen people standing and waiting for passengers. She looked around and spotted three name boards. At last, she saw a lady holding a board with her name on it. She walked up to her.
“Excuse me, Ma’am,” she said to the lady in as steady a voice as she could maintain.
The lady looked at her from top to bottom and her forehead creased at her veil.
“I am Lauren Morley,” she pointed at the board.
“Are you?” the lady said with a hard unwelcoming voice.
Lauren wondered who she was. “Yes, Ma’am.”
“I am Lilly, come with me,” the lady said and then turned to leave.
Lauren had to almost run to catch up with her. This was not what she had expected. Maybe she thought her husband would take one look at her and laugh or walk away but she never expected a woman to collect her. Who could it be? His mother or sister perhaps?
“Get in.” When they stopped at a carriage, the lady opened the door and ordered her inside.
Not wanting to anger her, Lauren got inside quickly.
“Are you a relative of Mr. Van Percy, Ma’am?” Lauren asked in a low voice.
“I am his sister,” she answered in a stone cold voice.
Lauren didn’t ask anything else. She just stared at the busy life of the mining town which all looked surreal to her. The carriage passed wooden false fronted buildings that looked nice and hospitable. Then it traveled into rough streets and entered into a drearier area and Lauren’s heart squeezed with fear. Where was this woman taking her? Before she could word her concern, the carriage stopped outside an old building.
“Bring your luggage with you,” the Lady said and stepped out.
Lauren once again glanced out of the window and swallowed. The sight was giving her shivers. It wasn’t anything near welcoming. It didn’t even look like a house. It was a saloon in the middle of a very shady area.
“We don’t have all day for you, young lady, get out here immediately,” the lady nagged the door and Lauren jumped from her seat.
‘Help me, Jesus,’ she made a small prayer and carried her small suitcase out of the carriage. A sharp smell went up her nose and she almost sneezed. The lady led her into the saloon and she followed, her heart filled with fear. She looked around to see that everybody had either a pipe hanging from their mouth or was drinking alcohol. The smell of smoke filled the air. The lady grabbed her elbow and almost dragged her across the saloon. Men’s eyes seemed to follow her and she heard them mumbling. Soon they were through the saloon and into the back.
It was dark with a lot of rooms. Lauren could hear muffled voices from the rooms. All of them were feminine. She wondered what place this was. Since there wasn’t much light, she couldn’t make out much of it. Perhaps it was a boarding house and her Henry was conduction business here. Yes, that would be it and why he couldn’t collect her himself. Maybe he was too busy.
But there was a cold, slimy feeling in her stomach that made her think she would have been better off at home.
They stopped outside a big door. “Stay here, I’ll be back,” Lilly ordered her and then opened the door and quickly closed it behind her. All Lauren heard was some male voices and lots of smoke was seen inside. She stood there waiting. After five minutes, the door opened again and a young boy appeared. He was barely fourteen.
“My name is Theo. Please come this way,” the boy gave her a small smile and then took her case from her hand and led her to another corridor.
“What place is this?” Lauren dared to ask.
Theo turned to look at her. His face was solemn, but he didn’t say a word. She didn’t understand what to make of it all but decided she would go with the flow. This was a new adventure and the start of her marriage. It would be wrong to start it full of doubts.
Theo finally stopped at a small door and opened it. Lauren saw that it was a small sitting area with a couple of couches and chairs. “Where is Mr. Van Percy?” she asked.
“You’ll see him shortly,” Theo said and after giving her a sympathetic look, he left.
Lauren sat on the chair and tried to calm her nerves. “You don’t have to be all negative,” she told herself. After ten long minutes, she heard heavy footsteps. She held her breath as the door opened with a loud thud. Her eyes bored down on the ground, her fear inside didn’t allow her to look up at the person who had entered.
“Now let’s see who w
e have here,” a thick, heavy voice filled the room and then the man came closer to her. Was he Henry Van Percy?
Lauren gathered her legs together reflexively in protection.
“Look up here,” Henry’s hand came down and soon he had her jaw in his steel grip and was dragging her face up.
Lauren didn’t dare raise her eyes, afraid what she might she see in his.
“No time to cover yourself now, sweetheart, and this place isn’t to cover up,” he grinned and then snatched the veil in his hand and tore it from her. “What the…!” he yelled and stepped back leaving her face uncovered.
That’s when Lauren looked at him. He was half bald with a heavy mean face just like his body and he looked like he was almost forty-five years old. He was gawking at Lauren with shock.
“Who are you?” he asked.
Lauren couldn’t find her voice.
“I asked, who you are!” this time he yelled and Lauren had to jump back at his voice.
“I … I am Lauren Morley. You sent me a ticket,” she stuttered.
“I sent a ticket to an irresistibly beautiful woman who had long copper hair and mesmerizing green eyes. Not a bloody monster like you are!” he yelled again and all Lauren wished was that the earth would split open and she would fall inside.
“There went my money,” he hissed.
Lauren looked at him with surprise. “What … what do you mean?” she asked.
“What?”
“You said your money.” Had Elizabeth bargained her with this man?
Henry was now looking at her closely. He stepped nearer to her and Lauren backed away but soon his hand was in her hair. “I may not make much from you, but I might get a few dollars,” he said and gave her an ugly grin. “Maybe enough to recoup the train fare.”
“I don’t understand,”
“Oh you will,” he said and then forced her out of the room.