“Nothing can explain this away!”
“I see your point, Rayne, and I’m not going to defend abhorrent behavior, but this isn’t what you think it is. I’ve never seen Sam be anything other than a good man, and I’ve also never heard him say anything derogatory about another human being due to the color of his skin. I think he’s simply trying to protect you, and he’s right. If you were to be overtly friendly with his workers, there could be danger for you, particularly since you’re in Maryland.”
“But Lincoln signed the emancipation proclamation thingy! Everyone is free.”
Sophie sighed. “I know. But even Lincoln’s still a product of his time. Remember, he wanted to send the slaves to other parts of the world, Haiti for one, so he didn’t have to deal with the race issues. He wanted them to just go away.”
“He did? I didn’t know that.”
Sophie nodded. “He may believe every man has a right to be free, but I can’t see him having any friends who are African American.”
“What about that famous guy… the one with the crazy white hair?”
“Frederick Douglass? I don’t think they were friends, per se. They conferred on occasion, but Lincoln had a tough time when Mary started to work with the freed men and women in D.C.”
“I thought Lincoln was your hero.”
Sophie smiled. “He is! But he’s not perfect and change takes time. We weren’t there when reconstruction was happening, or when Martin Luther King had a dream.”
“We will be now,” Rayne pointed out.
Sophie pinched the bridge of her nose. “I know we will. And it’s going to suck. Johnson is an absolute pig of a man, who’s going to undo years of Lincoln’s work.”
“Another reason to go home.”
“Rayne! Seriously!”
Rayne bit her lip. “I can’t be married to a racist, Sophie. I just can’t. It sickens me even to think about it.”
“I don’t think you are. His best friend is Native American, after all. I think you need to talk to Sam.”
Rayne shrugged. “Maybe. But there’s other issues as well, not just that.”
“Tell me.”
A tea tray appeared with one of the house staff, and Rayne was suddenly extremely hungry. She’d barely touched her breakfast, and she hadn’t eaten on the train. As she ate, she reluctantly filled Sophie in on the arguments with Sam and felt her irritation rising with every word. “He has absolutely no right to treat me like a child.”
“He was concerned about your health, Rayne.”
“He took his so-called concern way too far,” she hissed. “He forgets who he’s dealing with.”
Sophie chuckled sardonically. “Please excuse me. I forgot with whom I was speaking.” She swept her hand toward Rayne. “You are Rayne Green, international superstar, used to getting everything she wants, even if she has to stomp her tiny little foot to get it.”
“Sophie!”
“Oh, and let’s not forget that she is the most important person in the world, and how dare anyone stand up to her, or make her do something she doesn’t want to do… even if it’s for her own good.”
Rayne narrowed her eyes. “That’s not what I said.”
“You didn’t have to say it. Your actions are screaming it from the rooftops.” Sophie snorted. “You’re a spoiled brat.”
Rayne stood and started to pace. No one spoke to her that way. Ever. “I’m going home.”
Sophie sighed. “Whatever, Rayne. Do what you need to do, but I’m not going to help.”
RAYNE CONTINUED TO pace, frustrated beyond reason. “Why won’t you help me?”
Sophie took her seat again. “Because you don’t know the full consequences of making this decision.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact you’ll never see Sam again.”
Rayne shrugged. “If I never see him, I won’t argue with him.”
Sophie groaned. “Rayne.”
“He has no right to dictate my life!”
“Maybe not, but he’s a lawman and it’s wartime. Perhaps he sees danger where you wouldn’t think to look.” Sophie rubbed her forehead. “These are all things the two of you just need to talk about.”
Rayne crossed her arms and flopped onto the sofa. “There’s no point. I can take care of myself and he can just shove it.”
Sophie frowned. “That man loves you and if you go back, you’ll leave him behind thinking he did something wrong!”
“He did!”
“Seriously?” Sophie snapped.
“He needs to find someone good enough for him. Someone he won’t have to yell at. Someone who will do everything he says.”
“You selfish, self-centered little cow!” Sophie stood to pace.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Sophie pointed her finger at Rayne. “You know what? Maybe you’re right. You don’t listen to anyone. If you do on the off-chance listen, you don’t believe a word they say. You react to every little thing, rather than taking a minute to find out the real motive behind it. So, maybe you should go back. You can go back to your glamorous life, with your one true friend, and we’ll stay here and scrape up the mess you leave behind.”
Rayne burst into tears. “I can’t do anything right. He’ll end up hating me.”
“No he won’t, Rayne,” Sophie said. “Sam worries because he’s afraid something will happen to you… not because he thinks you don’t do anything right.”
“Melodrama,” Rayne muttered.
“You might see it that way, but he can’t lose you.”
“He’d be fine.”
Sophie sighed. “Let’s look at it this way. How would you feel if a prisoner were to attack Sam and he lay unconscious, unable to call for help?”
Rayne’s heart started to race. “I’d do whatever it took to get to him.”
“So you get to him, but the blood loss is so great, you can’t save him. He slips away from you and dies.”
Rayne gasped. “That couldn’t really happen? Could it?”
Sophie nodded. “Of course it could, Rayne. He works at a prison. With prisoners. People who are not particularly nice, and who would do anything to escape.”
“Well, he just can’t ever work at the prison again.”
“Oh? Why? Don’t you think he can take care of himself?”
“Well, of course he can…”
“But you just said you don’t want him to ever work at the prison again.”
Rayne stood and stomped her foot. “Well, it’s dangerous! He could be killed!”
Sophie raised an eyebrow. “And…”
“And I’d be lost without him,” Rayne grumbled.
Sophie stayed silent and waited for her words to sink in.
“I’m an idiot.”
“I rest my case,” Sophie said smugly.
“I just don’t want Sam to regret marrying me.” Rayne sat down again, unprepared when Sophie flicked her on her forehead. “Ow!”
“Stop it!” Sophie said angrily. “At some point, you have to make a decision to trust your husband, Rayne.”
“I know.” Rayne sighed. “I’m just not very good at believing in pretty words.”
“When you tell Sam that you love him, are they pretty words?”
“No.”
“Think about it.” Sophie stood and walked out of the parlor.
Rayne leaned back on the sofa with a sigh. She realized in that moment how much she’d lose if she went back. Sophie was right. She wasn’t willing to give Sam up. She had to believe he felt the same.
Sophie came back into the parlor a few minutes later. “How are you?”
Rayne stood and sighed. “I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here. Here is home.”
Sophie hugged her. “Good answer. Now, come and eat. Jamie sent Sam a telegraph a couple of hours ago to let him know you’re safe, so I’m sure he’ll be here in the morning to get you.”
Rayne followed Sophie out of the parlor and they star
ted down the hall toward the dining room. The front door slamming startled them.
“Rayne!”
“Sam?” She moved toward him. He didn’t say anything else as he rushed her, lifted her, and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “Sam!” she squealed. “What are you doing?”
“Upstairs, second door on your left, Sam.” Sophie pointed the direction.
He nodded and carried her up the stairs.
“Put me down!” Rayne yelled.
He continued down the hall and through the second door on his left. He closed and locked the door and then threw her onto the bed. “What the hell were you thinking?” he bellowed as he paced the room.
“I wasn’t thinking.” Rayne sat up and stared at him.
“You are never going to leave me, Rayne.” Sam paced the room. “You can get that idea out of your mind forever!”
“I know that now, Sam.”
“How could you do that to me? How could you leave without a word?”
She scooted her body to the edge of the bed and folded her hands in her lap. “Because I was being selfish and insecure.”
He stalked to the side of the bed and leaned down, his face within inches of hers. “Never again, Rayne.” He kissed her as he unceremoniously ripped the buttons from her dress.
“Sam! I like this dress.”
He stood and pulled her off the bed. “I’ll buy you another. Now, take it off.”
She did so quickly. “I need help with my corset.”
Pulling a rather ominous-looking knife from his boot, and before she could react, he slit the laces of her corset and it fell from her body. “That was brand new!”
He didn’t comment as he cupped her cheek and kissed her. She leaned against him with a sigh. “Sam.”
“No talking.”
He stripped and then pushed her onto her back, holding her in place with a hand on her chest as he settled himself between her legs and covered her core with his mouth.
Rayne whimpered as he sucked her clit, her body shivering with desire. “Sam,” she rasped.
“Quiet,” he ordered, sliding into her.
Rayne arched with a mewl, but didn’t make any other noise.
Sam pushed her legs further apart and buried himself deeper, laying his palm against her clit and pressing gently. He slid into her slowly, adding pressure with his palm as he moved.
“Oh, God,” she whispered, and pushed against his palm.
“Rayne,” he growled, and leaned over her. “You can’t even obey me when I’m making you feel good.”
She bit her lip. “Guilty.”
He applied more pressure to her clit and she sighed. “I’ll be quiet now.”
Sam chuckled. “Angel, you might kill me.”
“Well, can you fuck me before that happens, please?”
“That mouth…” He shook his head, leaning over to kiss her filthy mouth.
His lovemaking was intense and thorough. When they were both sated, he pulled her farther up his body and wrapped her in his embrace.
She cupped his cheek and burst into tears. “I am so sorry,” she sobbed.
Holding her until she calmed, he stroked her back. “What did I do?”
“What do you mean?”
“What did I do to make you leave me?”
She sat up. “Nothing.”
“You left me for absolutely no reason?” he growled angrily as he grasped her shoulders.
Rayne stroked his cheek. “No. It’s just the reasons were somewhat irrational.”
“Tell me.”
“I just think you’ll figure out you made a mistake,” she whispered. “We keep fighting.”
He looked at her in utter confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You made me so angry, and when I’m angry, I lash out.”
“Which part made you angry?”
“Honestly? Your treatment of Elijah.”
Sam’s eyes widened. “I happen to treat him very well.”
“Not when you act as though he and your workers are beneath you.”
Sam sighed. “Explain, please.”
“You say they can’t touch me or be alone with me, as though A, you don’t trust me and B, they aren’t worthy to be in the presence of a white woman,” she said disgustedly.
Sam groaned. “That’s not why, Rayne.”
“Well then, you explain, because I don’t think I can be married to someone who doesn’t believe everyone is equal.”
“I do believe everyone’s equal, Rayne, but the reality is that there are rules that need to be followed in order to keep you safe.” Sam ran his hand over her hip. “Crow and Quincy have had the same argument with Victoria. She has had to be careful not to speak to Crow in public, and she certainly cannot touch him, even if it’s a simple handshake. Not because it’s right or acceptable, but because it could be dangerous for both of them. If someone believed an Indian was offending a white woman, all hell would break loose.”
“Well, that’s just ridiculous.”
“I don’t disagree, Rayne, but my main objective is to keep you safe. You have to understand that.”
Rayne squeezed his arm. “I need to know that we believe the same things, Sam.”
“I think we do.”
“I believe all of us have a place here. In this country, on earth, whatever. I have never seen the color of someone’s skin, and I tend to like people based on how they treat me. I need to know that you believe that too.”
“Angel, my closest friend is Crow. If I didn’t believe he was my equal, I’d still have a myriad of other friends.”
“You’ve lost friends?”
He nodded. “Of course I have. The moment I stood up for him, my fate was sealed. Until I met Andrew and Christopher, no one would have anything to do with me if they knew that Crow was my friend.”
“I guess I didn’t really think of it that way.”
Sam ran his finger gently down her cheekbone. “We’ll work this out. I promise. We’ll find our rhythm and everything will be fine.”
She sighed. “I’m not an easy person to live with. You can ask Shaye.” Sam raised his eyebrow at her. “Okay, you can’t ask Shaye. But, anyway, I’m difficult.”
“I like difficult.”
Rayne snorted. “You do not.”
He kissed her temple. “I like petite blonde women who are difficult.”
“Just any petite blonde women?”
Sam chuckled. “Do you still want to leave me? Do you still want to go home?”
“No.”
“Then you are never to do this again, and you cannot threaten to use your ability to return home as leverage. It’s unfair, and quite frankly, makes me crazy.”
“I know.”
“Hear me in this, Rayne. You are never to utter the threat again.”
Rayne chuckled. “Ooh, I’m scared.”
“This is not a jesting matter, Rayne.” Sam lifted her chin. “If you threaten it again, I’ll let you go.”
Rayne took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist. “Are you finished?”
“Finished?”
“Being irrational.”
“Oh, yes.” She kissed his chin. “I’m finished being irrational, but I’m not finished with you.”
“Well, sweetheart, you’ll need to wait.” Sam sat up. “I missed lunch and I’m starving.”
Rayne grimaced. “Let’s get you fed, then. I need you at full strength.”
Sam chuckled as he slipped off the bed. “Since it would seem I’m the only one with clothing, I’ll organize a tray.”
Rayne crossed her arms. “Was that your plan?”
He frowned. “Was what my plan?”
“Destroy my clothing, so I’d be naked and unable to leave the room.”
“Oh, that plan. Yes, that was definitely one plan.”
“You had others?”
“At least three.” He leaned down and kissed her neck. “I’ll t
ell you those later.”
Rayne laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He pulled his clothing back on and went to find food.
* * *
Sam whisked Rayne back to D.C. the next day with a feeling of true resolution. He’d stressed his commitment to her the night before, and elicited a promise from her that her commitment was just as absolute. They were both on even ground now, and he knew they’d be able to face any stress that came their way. Together.
He and Quincy escorted the ladies back to the townhouse just before lunch and arrived to absolute chaos at the carriage house. Emma and Clayton and the stable hand were fighting to get Rocky under control.
Victoria whistled and Rocky calmed. “What’s going on? Why isn’t Rocky in his stall?”
“Your horse kicked out his stall and almost did the same to Rayne’s,” Clayton explained.
Quincy began to assess the damage and Rayne went to check on her mare.
“What? Why?” Victoria asked shocked. “Let him go, Clay. He’ll come to me.”
Clayton did, and Rocky trotted over to her. She stroked his muzzle as he started to throw his head around. “What is going on with you?” He whinnied and then trotted to Rayne’s mare. “Oh!” Victoria started to giggle. “Rocky wants to… you know!”
“So much so, he kicked out his stall to get to her,” Quincy grumbled.
“You’d do the same to get to me I think,” Victoria said.
“Rebel!”
“It’s a little late for her to be in heat,” Clayton pointed out.
Rayne started to laugh. “I have her name now. There really is only one I can give her.”
The men looked at her in question and the girls all answered in unison. “Adrian!”
They got lost in giggles. “I can’t call her by yelling ‘Yo! Adrian,’ though. I’ll have to shorten it,” Rayne said.
“How about Ady?” Emma said.
“Perfect!”
The girls made their way into the house, while the men stayed behind to repair as much of the damage as they could until it could be permanently fixed. Victoria arranged a simple lunch and led the girls to the parlor, where they sat and discussed Rayne’s attempt to run away.
Rayne sighed. “It was stupid, I know. It’s not like I could have gone back home anyway. It’s not safe.”
The Bride Star (Civil War Brides Book 6) Page 22