“Doubt it. My French teacher doesn’t mess around when it comes to following the rules. No wonder so many people hate the French.” I tried to joke, but it fell flat.
Tom continued eating, but I felt his unease. He didn’t want to go back either, not to his room. Not to school. He needed a break.
“You can always drive back after your test,” Jess chimed in.
“Of course.” I looked at Tom. “You can stay here. I don’t have any exams on Wednesday, so we can stay for a few days. Jess, you won’t mind, right?”
“Not one bit. In fact, I might be a little insulted if you didn’t stay longer.”
Tom looked slightly relieved. Mel motioned for the waiter and ordered four beers.
No one spoke. That’s when I heard it.
“Paige! What the fuck are you doing here?”
I looked up and saw Karen with some guy. How in the world had she managed to run into me here?
“Uh, I’m eating tamales,” I responded glibly.
“I can see that. And I see Tom’s with you. How come you didn’t invite me?” She sounded hurt.
“Y-you were studying for your chemistry test.” I tried to sound convincing.
“And you were studying for your French test,” she accused.
The guy she was with held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Karen’s brother, Jake.” I shook his hand, and Tom and Jake nodded at each other.
“Would you two like to join us?” Jess was amazed that another one of my school friends had magically appeared.
“Sure, I’m starving.” Karen plopped down on a chair that Jake had pulled over for her.
“You better hurry, then,” I said. “The buffet stops at six.” I motioned to the line, which grew with each passing second.
Karen sprang out of her seat like a hundred-meter sprinter and pulled on her brother’s arm.
Tom looked at me and said, “Shit!” under his breath.
“Hold on, you two. She doesn’t know anything. Tell her I’m your cousin.” Jess flashed a supportive smile.
The thought repulsed me. It was okay to “date” Tom at school, but this was my territory with Jess. Lying seemed reprehensible here.
Tom shook his head. “That would probably work with Karen, but not with Jake. Besides…” His voice drifted off.
Jess nodded in agreement and Tom’s eyes welled up as he said, “Not today.”
When Karen and Jake sat back down, Mel scrutinized Karen, which made me grin. Was she afraid Karen was her replacement?
I started to laugh uncontrollably.
“What’s so funny?” asked Karen.
I continued laughing. “This.” I gestured to the table.
“What, eating tamales?” Karen looked baffled.
Tom howled along with me.
“N-no!” was all I could get out.
“We came here to get away from all of you, and here you are.” Tom choked the words out.
Karen frowned slightly, suggesting she was hurt.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” said Tom. “It’s just that this has been a difficult day.” His laughter halted.
“Why, did you two fight?” inquired the clueless Karen.
Jess placed her hand on my arm to stifle my laughter at Karen’s expense.
Jake broke into the conversation with, “Karen, I think they are referring to the beating on campus.”
“Oh, you heard about it.” I could tell she was ready to gossip about it.
“Tom told me what happened,” I replied.
“How did you find out, Tom? Jake called me and told me. I didn’t feel like staying the night there. Who could do such a thing?”
I dropped my fork onto my plate. It clattered, and everyone stared at me. “You don’t know, do you?”
“What? I don’t know the guy, but I feel bad about it.” She searched my face for an answer.
Tom cleared his throat. “Aaron was one of the…”
“One of the what?” asked Karen.
Jess sat up straighter. “Karen, Tom’s roommate was one of the guys who beat up that student.”
Karen’s face went ashen. Then she shook her head and said, “No. I know him. That can’t be…How? Why?” The words came out so fast that it seemed as if she was chasing away the answers before they had time to take root in her mind.
Jake shifted in his seat. “You okay, Tom?” His voice said it all. He knew Tom and I weren’t dating.
Karen looked to Jake, and then to Tom, and then her eyes finally settled on my face. Slowly, her gaze made its way down to Jess’s hand, which now rested on mine.
“Shit, I feel like an ass,” was all she said.
“Oh, please, Karen, don’t feel that way,” Jess reassured her. “Tom and Paige have tried to keep it quiet from everyone. Not just you.”
Karen sucked in her breath. “And you didn’t mind? You didn’t mind that they pretended to date?” Honest Karen couldn’t wrap her brain around the deception.
“She didn’t tell me, actually. We ran into Tom and his boyfriend, ex-boyfriend now, at an art show. I’ll admit that it rattled me some.” Jess turned to me. “But at least Paige picked out a gay guy for her fake boyfriend—and she didn’t even know it.” She patted my cheek tenderly.
Karen fixed Jess with a defiant stare. “What do you mean, didn’t know it? Didn’t they plan it together?” Her tone was accusatory.
Mel laughed; this was the first time she had heard the full story. “Oh, that’s perfect! Paige has always been clueless.”
I feigned being hurt.
“You mean that Paige and Tom both thought the other was straight and used the other for cover?” Karen burst into laughter.
Jake joined in, chuckling, but all the while his eyes stayed on Tom.
Jess nodded. “Yes! You should have seen the look on Paige’s face when she found out. I thought for sure she was going to have a heart attack, or faint.”
Tom stabbed the air with his fork. “Now, hold on, I suspected it about Paige all along.”
I waved that idea away. “Liar!” I accused.
His face crinkled into a heart-rending grin as he skewered a tamale.
Jess patted my thigh. It was good to hear everyone laugh, even if it was at my expense.
“Uh-oh, Paige, are you slowing down?” Santi waddled over and pointed at my plate.
I looked down at it. I still had more than ten tamales to go. “I got sidetracked.” I defended my pathetic attempt.
“You only have one half hour to finish or no tequila for you.” He waggled his finger in my face.
“Hey, you didn’t tell me there was a time limit.” I straightened up in my chair, prepared to take the challenge more seriously.
He shrugged. “Only seems fair.”
Karen looked to Santi, then to Jake and said, “Tequila? I’ve never tried it. I want some.”
Santi put his palms in his air. “Tell you what, if Paige finishes that plate and Jess’s plate, since I know Jess won’t”—he winked at her—“all of you can have tequila shots for free.”
My eyes glazed over. Jess still had five left on her plate. I had already eaten twelve of my own. Granted, they were small, but fifteen more seemed overwhelming.
But I didn’t want to let my friends down. I sighed heavily. “You’re on, Santi.”
He rubbed his hands together. “Muy bien. I’ll be back.” His words sounded encouraging, and sinister.
“Shall I call an ambulance now or later,” teased Jess.
“Oh, so funny.” I looked at her plate, and she gleefully dumped her tamales onto mine.
I’m not sure how, but my stomach felt like it had immediately shrunk.
“Santi told me about the bet.” Davie walked up. How was it that he was always around? “My money is on you, little lady.” He walked behind Jess and leaned down. “Want to make it interesting, Jess?”
She turned to look him square in the face. “Not sure Santi would appreciate betting for anything but tequila in his
restaurant.”
Davie stepped back, chuckling. “You’re probably right, just thought I’d ask.” He turned to me. “Paige, give it hell, I know you can do it.” Then he sauntered off, disappearing in the crowd like a ghost in the night.
“Come on, Paige. I’ve seen you eat more at Julia’s,” Tom pleaded.
“No one can eat fifty eggs,” said Jake.
Tom’s head snapped up and he met Jake’s stare. “I love that movie.”
“Cool Hand Luke. It’s a classic.” Jake shrugged shyly.
Karen nudged her brother and nodded toward Tom, at which Jake turned three shades of scarlet.
Tom stared down at his plate.
Jess and I shared a look, and I wondered if the hamster in her head had already been set in motion. Mel couldn’t help but laugh.
“Smooth, Karen,” I said.
“What?” she tried to act innocent. Then she stood up. “These tamales are good. I’m going back for more.”
Her brother, still embarrassed, decided to dish back some humiliation. “Stay away from the beans. I don’t want you farting all night.”
Instead of blushing, Karen looked proud of her flatulence. If we were at school, I was certain she would have melted into the floor from embarrassment. Here, now that she was part of the inner circle, she felt no shame. She felt included. Or at least that’s what I wanted to think. That’s how I felt: included. Not on the outside or afraid, but protected by friends.
Jake pointed to my pile of tamales. “Paige, you better get busy. I want free shots.”
“Yeah,” echoed Mel, who flashed an encouraging smile.
Tom looked at his plate and then at mine. I didn’t want to let Tom down. Not that day or any day. Somehow, I felt connected to everyone at the table. Everyone had scattered to deal with the tragedy, and yet somehow, we had all found each other at Santi’s.
I plunged my fork into one of the tamales, and Jess cringed as I shoved it all in my mouth. Seconds later, I was cramming more in. My stomach constricted, but I pushed the thought out of my mind.
Karen returned to the table with a pile of tamales larger than my own. I thought my eyes would burst out of my head.
“I wanted to offer my support the only way I know how,” she said. “To jump in.”
The thought touched me, but I didn’t have time to speak, and my mouth was full anyway. I didn’t think she’d appreciate me spraying her with tamale as I said thank you, so I nodded. She dug in. Together, we could do this.
Minutes ticked by. Then more.
“Holy shit,” Jake said. “I think you two are actually going to do it.”
Our plates were nearly empty. Santi returned with a tray bearing an entire bottle of tequila, six shot glasses, slices of lime, and a salt shaker.
“I wanted to show you what’s at stake.” His papa bear smile encouraged me.
As I plunged the last bit of tamale into my mouth, I had to force down the urge to puke. Karen gestured to the little that was left on her plate, “Feel free.”
I shook my head. At that moment, I never wanted to eat another tamale.
Tom leaned over the table and speared Karen’s tamale with his fork. “Thanks!”
“Next time I have a tamale fundraiser, Paige, you are not invited.” Santi set the tray down and removed my plate. “I can’t afford you.”
I smiled weakly. I was victorious. Yet I felt like crap.
“No worries. I’m not sure I can ever eat another one.”
He put on a hurt face. “Mi dios! Don’t ever say such a thing to me.” He waved his finger in my face. Then he turned, chuckling, and wandered away from the table.
Karen grabbed the bottle and poured out hefty shots. “What charity is this for?”
Jake answered. “I saw an ad in the school paper. It’s for a young woman whose parents cut her off because she’s gay. She needs to raise money to stay in school.”
“Jake runs the gay group on his campus.” Karen beamed proudly.
“Jake Cooper!” All of us turned to Jess. “We’ve exchanged a few emails,” she explained. “I used to run the gay group at my school. Jessica McCrae.”
“Oh, that’s right. We never found a time to meet in person.”
Karen steered the conversation back to the fundraiser. “So all of these people are helping.” She looked impressed.
Jess wiggled in her chair. “I need to pee.”
I noticed Mel trying to catch her eye, but Jess kept her eyes averted.
“Yes and no. Let’s be honest, these are good tamales,” said Jake.
“What are the odds that this was planned on the same day we found out about Aaron?” All of us had been avoiding the topic.
Jess returned to the table, all smiles.
“Okay, Karen. It’s time for your first tequila shot.”
Everyone prepared the lime and salt.
“Bottoms up!” Jake shouted.
Karen’s face was priceless: all scrunched up and with tears forcing their way out of her clenched eyes. “Mah Gawd!”
“Not a fan?” asked Tom, licking his lips.
“Yes! Gimme some more.” She snatched the bottle and poured another shot for everyone.
I wasn’t expecting that reaction, given her scrunched face. I tried to picture what she must look like in the midst of an orgasm. Then I remembered that Karen was still a virgin.
Two hours later, the bottle was nearly gone. Everyone, including Tom and Jake, took turns dancing with Santi, who was patient and strong enough to hold up any inebriated dancing partner. The only one of us who wasn’t drunk, was Jess. She did her fair share of shots, but not one seemed to faze her.
* * *
Later that night, we settled Tom in on the couch and headed for bed.
I lay on my back, one arm under my head.
“You okay, Paige?” Jess flicked some hair off my cheek.
“I guess so. I just feel so…” I wasn’t sure how to confess.
“What, honey?” she said sweetly, urging me to continue.
“I feel so guilty,” I blurted out.
“For having a good time tonight?” Jess probed.
“No, not that. For turning Aaron into a monster.” I finally uttered his name.
She cocked her head. “What are you talking about?”
I sighed. “Months ago, Aaron made a crack that the Broncos played like faggots and that’s why they lost a game.” I turned my head to face her. “I insinuated that gay bashers were actually fags.”
Jess let out a long breath.
“You should have seen how mad he got. He started asking if I was accusing him of being a faggot. All of us laughed it off, but now…” I couldn’t continue.
“Now you think it’s your fault? That if you hadn’t antagonized and embarrassed him in front of everyone, this wouldn’t have happened?”
“Yeah.”
“Paige, this isn’t your fault. Aaron obviously has issues. And yes, you could be right; he might be gay. Studies prove that the likelihood is high. But don’t for one second think this is your fault. Aaron and his friends made their decisions. They acted on them. This has nothing to do with you.” She took my face in her hand and peered into my eyes. “This is not your fault.”
I nodded, and hoped to God she was right.
“Now, you better get some rest. You have that French final in the morning.”
I groaned. I had completely forgotten about the whole thing.
The next morning, I woke up early. Jess was already up making me an egg bagel for the drive. Tom was still sound asleep on the couch. I whispered a goodbye and left. Jess mouthed, “Bonne chance.”
* * *
When I arrived back at Jess’s apartment that afternoon, Tom was still asleep and I was surprised to find Jess in the bedroom, curled up with a book. I glanced at the cover: Don Quixote.
“What, you aren’t reading that in Spanish?”
“I couldn’t find a copy in Spanish.”
I sat on the bed and too
k my shoes off. “How come you aren’t at work?”
She set the book aside and patted the spot next to her, gesturing for me to lie down. “Oh, I thought Tom could use a friend today. How did the test go?”
I shrugged. “Not sure, really. I always think I did horribly, and then when I get it back, I’m surprised that I got an A.”
“You are always so hard on yourself.” She ran her fingers along my arm, briefly stopping on one of my tattoos. “So, shall we try to set Jake up with Tom?”
I sat up. “Don’t lie to me. I saw you talking with Jake last night when the rest of us were dancing. You already have a plan in motion, don’t you?” I waved a finger in her face accusingly.
She put her palms up. “Maybe.”
“And that’s why you stayed home today.”
“Maybe.”
“No one has a chance, with you.”
“Paige, I’m not sure what you mean.” She placed a hand on her chest, as if she’d been struck by an arrow.
“Don’t act innocent. You are always conniving.”
“Conniving!”
I put my fingers to my mouth to shush her.
“I am not conniving, or devious, or anything.” She defended herself.
I waved her away. “What’s the plan?”
“Lunch and a movie later this afternoon.”
“Will Karen be there?”
“Yes. Jake says she’s pretty shaken up about the whole Aaron thing.”
“Oh, that reminds me.” I leaned over to grab a newspaper out of my backpack and tossed it onto Jess’s lap.
An article about the attack had mentioned that a gay rights rally was planned on campus the following night.
“Are you going?” Jess asked.
“I haven’t decided yet. Would you like to go?”
Jess bolted upright. “You mean I can invade your space?”
I laughed. “Might as well. Keeping you hidden hasn’t worked out that well. But I probably won’t introduce you to Minnie, if that’s all right? Tom and Karen are one thing; she’s a whole different ballgame.”
“Oh my God! This is huge!” Jess waltzed to the bathroom and jumped in the shower while I picked up the novel and turned to page one. It wasn’t unusual for us to read the same book at the same time. Of course, Jess always beat me. As I read, I heard her singing in the shower.
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