by Sky Robinson
He was using his shovel to dig a hole in the black dirt near the stream, wearing a long-sleeve shirt, but she knew exactly what the sexy muscles looked like underneath.
Thinking about leaving him was harder than it should be. She’d told him from the beginning she didn’t want a commitment, but that didn’t mean she liked the fact that she would never see James again, that she would never have him touch her again. As much as she hated to admit it, as much as she tried to keep it from happening, a part of her had fallen in love with the man.
He was focused on his work and didn’t even notice as Emma stood and watched him for a few minutes. He stopped shoveling, wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and smiled when he spotted her.
“Hello, beautiful. What a pleasant surprise.” James walked over and put his arms around her waist. “I thought you were going to spend a few more days in town.”
It wasn’t going to be a pleasant surprise for long.
“To what do I owe this visit?” He pressed his lips to hers, and she almost lost her nerve. She wanted to keep the good thing she had with James. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible. She couldn’t keep the whole package.
“I want to talk to you.” She couldn’t lose her nerve, she had to say goodbye.
“About?”
“James.” She paused and looked down at the ground. There was only one way to do this. She had to be blunt. “I’m leaving.”
“When? Why?” His brows furrowed as he asked the questions and they came out as more of an angry growl.
“In two days. There’s no gold here. You know that as well as me. I can’t stay here doing this anymore.”
“You don’t have to leave.” He looked so disappointed, and she wanted to wrap her arms around him and say she would stay with him forever, that everything was going to be okay.
But she couldn’t do that, couldn’t lie to him.
“You could stay with me. I’m going to start working at the new mill. I’ll need someone to take care of my laundry.” He smiled sheepishly.
She knew he was half joking, but that was exactly why she couldn’t stay with him. He would expect her to settle down, and cook and clean and serve his every whim, and that’s not what she wanted in life. She still needed adventure, she wouldn’t settle for a man who would take her for granted.
And then there was the baby to think about.
She was probably going to have to move back in with her family, but at least she would be with people who would love her unconditionally, people who would support her raising a child. She would never hear the end of their harassment for getting pregnant by a prospector, but they had the finances to help her out, and she owed it to the little person inside her to give him or her the chance to grow up in some kind of stable environment.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t stay with you. I need adventure, excitement in my life.” She couldn’t tell him the whole truth, couldn’t tell him about the baby. “I can’t sit around waiting to do your laundry. I would resent you for it, neither of us would be happy.”
“So this is it? I won’t ever see you again?” He slammed the shovel into the ground.
“Yeah, I guess this is it.” She couldn’t look in his eyes, couldn’t stand the fact that she was hurting James.
“Well, fine. Go do whatever makes you happy. Forget about everyone else. I knew it was only a matter of time before you walked away.” He growled and picked his shovel back up, taking his anger out on the dirt below.
She turned her back to him and started walking down the hill. To hell with her stuff. There wasn’t anything of value anyway. Emma just needed to leave, to get away from James, get away from the heartbreak she was causing them both.
He knew she made no commitment to him, what right did he have to be angry about her decision? It was her life. She had the right to do whatever she wanted with it. Emma didn’t owe him a damn thing.
Chapter Ten
Two days later Emma stood with her toes tapping anxiously on the wood of the dock as she waited for the ship to start boarding. Her throat was tight as well as every muscle in her body and she hoped like hell she wasn’t making a huge mistake.
People moved all around her, but she ignored them and kept her focus on the mountains. This might be the last time she saw them. Ever. Emma would definitely miss living here. But staying wasn’t an option.
A boat horn blasted and she jumped, nearly falling into the cold ocean water a few feet below.
The line of people in front of her started to move, so Emma picked up her bag and followed. This was it, this was the last time she would have this view, and never again would she see the man who was up in those mountains somewhere.
“Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.” James’ gruff voice penetrated the crowd.
Emma’s breath caught in her chest. She twirled around to see James shoving people to the side, rushing toward her.
He came.
But why? To say goodbye or to ask her to stay? She didn’t know which was worse.
“I’m glad I caught you.” He stopped to catch his breath for a second, but held on tightly to her hand. As winded as he was, he must have run all the way down the mountain to catch her. “Don’t leave me.” The words came out of his mouth with passion she’d never heard from him before.
“It’s what I have to do.” Emma had to work to control the pattering of her heart, to focus on saying the words she needed to when a big part of her objected to them. “I’m sorry, James. We had a fun go of it, but it could never work out.” He had to see that. It was so obvious that they weren’t compatible, no matter how badly she wanted them to be.
“Why not?” He shook his head. “Give us a chance. We could be good together.” His words were desperate, needing her, just like a big part of her needed him.
She wanted to do what he asked, wanted to give James a chance. Emma had romantic images of a lifetime of falling asleep next to him, but the problem was then they would wake up together and that’s when the drama would start.
He was good for her body and had become a friend, but she couldn’t see how they would make a relationship work out. His views were just too traditional for her…and he didn’t like kids.
Emma stared at the ground, not answering his question.
“I wouldn’t care if you wore pants every day.”
He was offering her a compromise, but it wasn’t enough.
“It’s not just about the clothes,” she said.
He let out a frustrated sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. “You could climb a mountain every morning. I’ll do all the cooking and cleaning. I just can’t stand the thought of you leaving. I haven’t seen you in two days, and I’m going crazy with need. I want you to be with me, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes, do whatever you want, to make that happen.”
Her knees began to shake. How could she say no to that? All she really wanted was to be close to James. He was a pain in the ass, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. The words coming from his mouth were the exact words she needed to hear from him.
“I…I’ll stay.” Warm tears fell down her cheeks.
James hugged her tightly, as if he was afraid if he let go she would run away, but she wasn’t going anywhere. This is where she belonged, in Alaska, with James.
“You don’t have to settle down for me, you don’t have to change at all. I love you just the way you are,” he said.
“You love me?”
“Yes, I love you. Have for a long time now. Just took me a while to admit it to myself.”
“And you don’t want to change me?”
“Not even a little bit.” He grabbed both her hands in his and squeezed. A big grin spread across his face.
“Well, I might just become a little more domesticated.” Emma offered a compromise of her own. She didn’t have to stay so stuck in her ways, and life was going to drastically change. That couldn’t be avoided.
“Why is that?” James wrinkled a brow and loo
ked at her funny.
There was only one way to break the news. “I’m pregnant.” She held her breath and waited for his reaction.
“Pregnant? That’s wonderful.” His grin returned.
“Wonderful? I didn’t think you liked kids. You told me you didn’t like kids.” Emma was surprised by his words, surprised by his reaction.
“I was just grumpy the day I said that. I will love any child that we make.” James picked her up and spun her in a circle, setting her down with a kiss. “I’m going to be a father.” His grin spread from ear to ear. “You know you’ll have to marry me if you’re having my baby.”
She felt herself stiffen. Marriage could be part of the deal, but she didn’t want to feel pressured into anything.
He must have noticed her nervousness. “Or not. Whichever you’d prefer. Whatever makes you happy, that’s all I care about.”
His concession was all she needed to see that he was really going to put her needs first, going to give her the freedom she needed, the space to make her own choices.
“Yes. I’ll marry you, James Armstrong.” Emma smiled and kissed him. This was her life now, and all she really needed. She liked independence, but she wanted the love of a man just as much…maybe even more. Now she could have it all.
Emma would marry James and stay in Alaska for the rest of her life, and those facts made her a very happy woman.
About Sky Robinson
Sky is a recovering adrenalin junkie, giving up her skydiving and motorcycle riding habits (for now anyway), but is holding tight to snowmobiling, flying small airplanes and water skiing. She tries to add a little balance to her life with the more tame pastimes of cooking, gardening and running. Sky has worked as a lifeguard, casino cashier, Forest Service roads maintenance crew, cocktail waitress and teacher, but is now happy to be writing so she can make the characters in her books do all the crazy things she thinks up instead of trying them out herself. Sky lives in the Midwest and loves to hear from her fans.
Sky welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email addresses on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
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Also by Sky Robinson
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Ellora’s Cave Publishing
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Gold Lust
ISBN 9781419945304
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Gold Lust Copyright © 2013 Sky Robinson
Edited by Raelene Gorlinsky and Whitney Mae
Cover design by Syneca
Cover photography by Aarrttuurr, Pixelchaos, Galyna Andrus/Fotolia.com
Electronic book publication August 2013
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