Sunshine & Shadow 2
Dear April
Novella by Alie Williamson
Copyright @ 2015 Alie Williamson
All Rights reserved
Published by POWWOW Books, Canada
Cover photography: Monika Paterson
Model: Katie Giroux
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 1
Dear April,
I know you’re angry with me. I know you wonder why I left. I wanted to stay, April, I really did, but I just couldn’t. There’s so much I want to tell you, but I can’t. I need you to forgive me. I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t. I can’t imagine never seeing you again. If you forgive me I won’t ever let you down again. I promise you that. I love you, April Cooper, with all my heart and I swear, I will explain everything. One day.
I miss you.
Please don’t hate me.
I love you.
Lex
Dear April,
I started the prep for the movie yesterday, and I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I’m surrounded by people every day, but I feel so lonely, because the one person I want isn’t by my side.
My heart isn’t in this film, and everyone else has noticed. It’s at Blue Haven, with you.
Lex
Dear April,
Please. You have to write back to me. I need you. April, I’m begging you; you have to forgive me. You have no idea how much I regret leaving. I should have waited for you. I should have told you everything, but I was so afraid that you wouldn’t forgive me.
I’m not the right man for you, April. I’m not good like you. I’m not kind like you. I was selfish, and I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I don’t know what else I can say, April! Please, just write back to me. I need you in my life. I need to know that you forgive me.
Lex
April Cooper sat on her bed with her legs crossed. She flicked through a total of seventeen emails that had landed in her inbox in the last two weeks, all from the same address: [email protected]. The little arrow on the screen lingered over the Delete button, but she couldn’t make that final click.
April kept every single email from Lex Mitchell that pinged into her inbox. Her heart still gave a flutter when she saw the subject line, ‘Dear April.’
She was angry with him. How could she not be? He left her. He disappeared without as much as a ‘see ya later’. And he had the audacity to leave her a note as if that would make everything okay. Well, no sir. Everything was definitely not okay, and the best way to convey that to him, was to ignore the emails, and the missed calls that popped up on her phone from an unknown California number. April couldn’t bear to hear his voice and changed the settings on her phone to send that caller straight to voicemail, so she wouldn’t be tempted. She was going to every length possible to remove Lex Mitchell from her life.
And it wasn’t working one bit.
“April, honey, come down and watch this video Jes and Rosie sent us from their Trek,” April’s mother shouted from downstairs.
Her mother and father, surrounded by their ranch hands, Adam, Hailey, Caleb, and Kip, were watching the television screen. As April came down the stairs, she could see last week’s guests, Jes and Rosie, smiling at the camera. April hadn’t gone on the Trek with them, and she almost wished she had. Being alone at the ranch, with only the horses to keep her company, left her too much time to think.
“Rosie and Lady sure got along, eh, boss?” Kip said to Mr. Cooper. “Lady followed that woman around like a puppy dog, even before the join up.”
April’s father nodded, his eyes still glued to the screen. “Some people just have a natural gift when it comes to horses.” He looked at April fondly. “I knew April had it from the time she turned three and almost every horse followed her around that pen like she had them on ropes.”
April’s mom stood up to retrieve her slippers. “I’ll never forget when she found that mare at the old Sweeney ranch that had been left to starve,” she said.
The wranglers looked at her; they had never heard the story.
“April was seven then. She ran home one day on her old pony, shouting and crying about this sad-looking horse at the abandoned ranch down the road. Jack loaded up the truck and drove over there right away, but there was no way that mare was going anywhere near him or the trailer.”
April felt all eyes on her, but she fixed her gaze on her mother and waited for the end of the story.
“Until April got out of the truck,” her mom said, “and climbed over the fence and said to Jack, “It’s okay, dad, she won’t hurt you. She’s just…”
“…scared,” April said. The memory of the scene was still so strong she could almost smell the rotting wood from the rundown barn.
Her mom nodded. “And April walked straight up to the horse, held out her little hand and that mare followed her right into the trailer.”
April sat on the armrest of the large, leather couch and her father hugged her around the waist. “That’s when we knew for sure that this one had the gift.”
The team grew quiet and focused on the screen again. Rosie was attempting to drink from the fast moving Sheep River, not knowing to always take your water upstream from the herd.
April looked over at Kip, who sat at the opposite end of the sofa. He looked like a man watching his wedding video ten years after the event. Every season Kip fell in love with at least one of the female guests, and because of his luck, they were usually happily married.
April could understand Kip’s fascination. Rosie was beautiful, with tanned skin and short, curly hair that didn’t quite reach her chin. Her eyes were a glittering green, and April wondered what nationality she was. Maybe Italian.
Kip caught April watching him and his cheeks reddened. He coughed and stood up. “I’m going to go do night check on the horses.”
April got up and followed him.
“Kip!”
He was already in the feed room, scooping grain into waiting buckets.
“Need any help?” April asked.
Kip nodded.
As they filled the buckets and delivered them to each impatient horse, Kip looked sad. April walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. She had been very lonely since Lex left, but the thought of letting Kip spend the night with her like he used to, left her feeling guilty and even lonelier than before. She clung onto Kip’s torso and buried her face in his soft sweater.
“You okay?” she said.
Kip heaved a sigh. “I will be. She was so sweet, but I knew she was married and nothing could ever happen from the get-go. To be honest, I’m a little lonely. It sucks to be alone.”
April pulled away and gently punched Kip in the shoulder. “No more of that sort of talk; you have me. Okay? Always.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Kip smiled and gripped April’s hand as they strolled to the corral to let the other horses into the field.
“Enough about me and my bad luck with the ladies. How’re you doing?”
“I’m fine,” April said, answering a little too quickly.
Kip raised his eyebrow.
“Okay, I will be fine. Just need some time, I guess.”
“Other than the letter he left in the room, have you heard from him at all?”
She nodded. “Emails. Lots of them.”
“You reply?”
“No. I don’t want to.” Liar.
Kip raised his eyebrow a
gain.
“Alright, alright, I do want to. But I know that it won’t go anywhere. He made that pretty damn clear when he just disappeared with no explanation.”
“Maybe he has one,” Kip said. “Maybe you just don’t know what it is yet. And if you don’t reply, you’ll never know. If it was me, I couldn’t just sit back and wonder what might have happened.”
“Since when are you on Lex’s side?” April pulled her hand out of Kip’s and turned to face him.
“I’m not, April. I just see how miserable you are. And I hate it.”
“I’m not miserable.” Kip’s look told her that he knew she was lying. “I never thought I’d be one of those stupid girls whose world ends because of a guy.”
“You can’t always help falling in love, April.”
Am I in love? April thought. She’d never been in love before. Is this what it felt like? The emptiness, the longing? The feeling that part of her was missing? If this was love, it sure as hell wasn’t what everyone made it out to be. This was no fun. Lex said he loved her, but how did she know he was sincere? What if she trusted him and he turned out to be lying? Trust could only be broken so many times.
“I don’t know what to do,” April whispered.
“What did the emails say?”
“Wanna read them?”
An hour later, Kip pushed the computer off his lap and sunk back into the pillow on April’s bed.
“Wow,” he said.
“Tell me about it. What should I do?”
Kip rubbed his temples. “It comes down to what you want, April. Do you want to be with Lex?”
“I don’t know ...” April buried her face in her hands. “Ah, I just don’t know.”
Kip was quiet for a few minutes, and April listened to his breathing. When he finally spoke it was a whisper.
“Why haven’t you deleted these emails?”
April’s head lifted. “I couldn’t,” she said, after a long pause.
“Why not?”
She shrugged. “I tried to. But ... they’re all I have left of him.”
Kip pulled April into his arms just as a tear rolled down her cheek. It was the first time in weeks that she had been held like this and she buried her face in his chest and allowed the violent sobs to wrack her body until her throat was sore and her eyes were dry.
She loved Lex. She had fallen in love with a man whom she barely knew, but seemed to know her better than anyone else. She loved him and hated him, because he had left her, without a goodbye, and all she wanted to do was chase after him and wrap her arms around him and never let go. Oh, Lex. How could she have been so naïve to think that she could have looked into his enchanting eyes without falling in love with him? He had cast his spell on her and she was his.
“What…do…I…do?” April sobbed.
The computer pinged.
Kip dove for it and held it away from April’s reaching hands. “Is this what you want? Like really want?”
“Yes, yes, I want this.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes! Give me my computer, Kip.”
Kip laid the laptop in April’s hands and she flipped open the screen.
Sent To: [email protected]
Sent On: July 6th, 2014, 10:14pm
Sent From: [email protected]
Subject: The truth
Dear April,
I can’t pretend to be okay being away from you. I can’t pretend that everything is fine. Because it’s not.
I can’t do it anymore.
I will tell you everything. Please don’t hate me.
The reason I had to leave was because Violet was on her way to the ranch and I couldn’t let her see you, because she’d know I was falling in love with you. She would have been able to tell. Violet is ... my girlfriend.
April choked.
“What? What’s going on?”
April’s lips moved but she couldn’t make a sound. Kip leaned over her shoulder and read aloud from the screen.
“…would have been able…my girlfriend!? Son of a bitch! I knew there was something going on with that guy!”
April was still stunned. She stared at Kip’s face and tried to force her lungs to work.
Lex had a girlfriend.
That’s why he had to leave. That’s why Cash had always given her weird looks. He had known. He had pitied her. Another silly girl falling for his brother’s unwavering charm.
“Wait…April, keep reading.”
April shook her head and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to know the other reasons why Lex had lied to her and made her look like a fool.
“April, trust me. Read it.” Kip placed the laptop back into April’s lap and she reluctantly opened her eyes.
The email continued:
She’s my girlfriend, but not in the traditional sense. Violet Rose is an actress and she’s starring opposite me in the movie. The producer told us that it would be huge publicity if we got together in real life, too. People want to see their favorite onscreen couple fall in love. And it worked. The movie is getting serious hype because of this lie and I should have told you.
I have a contract and I can’t break it and end things with Vi or I lose everything. I never thought I’d want to break it; it’s a great deal. The more money the movie makes, the more money I make. I never planned on changing my mind. I never planned on meeting you.
I want to be with you, April, but I know that if I breach this contract, my career is over. I’ve worked too hard to throw everything away, even for you. I can only hope that you’ll wait for me, and trust me when I tell you that it’s just business. I don’t love her; I love you. I would give anything to have met you before signing the damned paper, but I didn’t.
Please believe me.
Lex
April sat, shocked into silence. Kip was quiet beside her.
What did that mean? Was she supposed to just take it on good faith that Lex loved her? And what would she do if he didn’t? What if he was sleeping with this woman, holding her at night and kissing her? Could April look past that, simply because Lex told her to trust him? She had trusted him before, and look where it had gotten her.
She shook her head. She refused to be taken in once again by the man she thought she loved. Hell, the man she knew she loved. Who she was madly, unnervingly, irresistibly in love with. But how? Every morning, she half expected to see his face at the dining table. She couldn’t even enter the tack room without getting weak knees, remembering their first kiss. She hadn’t given Triumph, her poor horse, any affection in weeks. The memories associated with him made her heart hurt.
She couldn’t forget about Lex while everything around her carried memories that brought him back into her heart. She couldn’t stay at the ranch and try to heal. It wouldn’t work. She had to leave.
Chapter 2
Her father was downstairs reading a book when April interrupted him.
“What’s up, sweetheart?”
“I found a school…” April said. She tossed the brochure onto the couch beside him.
“Seattle, eh?” He picked it up and began leafing through it.
“Yeah, but I need experience to get in. I was thinking about looking for an internship before September. If I start right away, I can get enough hours.”
“Where? In Seattle?”
April nodded. She looked down at the ground, cautious of her dad’s reaction.
He leapt to his feet, surprising her. “Honey!” he exclaimed. “That’s incredible. Alright, I’ll start making phone calls right away. You find your mother and tell her what’s going on, then start packing.”
“You think you can find me somewhere that fast?”
Her dad nodded. “Of course I can. Send your mom to the office when you find her and I’ll get her to look for apartments. Ooh, this is so exciting! My baby girl, heading to the big city!” he said, as he hurried away.
April sighed; it was going to be a long few days before she could escape. Her paren
ts had no idea that she wasn’t interested in continuing her schooling. She just hoped a little distance and a new place would be enough to help her get over Lex Mitchell so she would be able to move on with her life.
She sat on her bed when her dad bounded up the stairs.
“Well honey, your old man came through, already; on my third call! I got you a 10 week internship with Highland Books Inc. in Seattle starting next Monday. You’ll be assisting one of the editors, Mr. Theodore Bradley.” He clapped his hands together. “You’re welcome!”
April smiled weakly. Anything to get out of here.
“I still can’t believe you finally decided to follow up on your degree! I’m so proud of you, honey.”
Three days later, April stood outside the entrance of the apartment building in Seattle, waving goodbye to her parents and Kip. The look on his face nearly made her cry.
Watching their car disappear in the heavy traffic, she looked down the street. City people seemed to rush everywhere; nobody took the time for a leisurely stroll. A heavy gust of wind hit her and she turned away from the strange new world, entering the warm, quiet comfort of her new home.
Bridgeport was one of the tallest apartment buildings in Seattle. April looked around the lobby. It reminded her of a hotel she had stayed in with her parents as a child.
The receptionist, who had introduced herself as Heidi, made April self-conscious. Her platinum blond hair was slicked back into a tight ponytail, showing off her large diamond drop earrings. April felt scruffy standing next to her, in her jeans and oversized Canucks t-shirt.
She smiled shyly to Heidi and took the elevator to the eighteenth floor. Her apartment looked empty, her minimal belongings barely beginning to fill the rooms. When she had unpacked that evening, she sat in the living room, feeling out of place and lonely – even lonelier than she had felt at the ranch after Lex’s departure. She switched on the TV to distract herself and Entertainment L.A came on.
Dear April (Sunshine & Shadow Book 2) Page 1