’Twas a gentle exploration on his part. He listened to her sighs and soft moans as he ran a hand up and down her arm. Finding no resistance, he caressed her shoulder and neck. Her slow intake of breath when he kissed her jaw, then next her neck, was music to his ears.
“Can I take off me robe now?” she asked as he kissed that tender spot right under her ear. “I swear I be no’ cold.”
He chuckled as he helped her remove it. The lavender nightdress was enough to make even the most honorable and chaste man turn crazed. Were she any other woman, were he not trying so damned hard to be honorable, he would have liked to have ripped the nightdress from her with his teeth. And if she did not quit squirming around in his lap, he might end up doing just that.
Their kisses deepened and became more passionate. When he caressed her neck with his fingertips, she bit down on his lip and held her breath. For a moment, he thought he’d gone too far until she leaned her neck into his lips, urging him on.
Much to his relief, his broken hand begun to throb. The pain helped him to focus on something other than wanting her naked and under him.
Aggie soon began her own exploration of Frederick. She ran her hand up and down his arms, squeezing his muscles as if she were gauging just how big they were. He thought of asking her if they were to her liking, but did not want to tear his lips from hers just yet.
Time passed with passionate kisses, warm caresses, sighs and gasps. Frederick recollected he had never spent this much time simply kissing a woman before in his life. But if kissing was what she wanted, then kissing was what he’d give.
When he felt close to bursting from his trews from the wriggling her wee bottom was doing, he stood and carried her to the bed. Her gold-brown eyes were wide, either with anticipation or uncertainty. Gently, he placed her on the bed before lying down beside her.
He rested his head on his uninjured hand as he stared down at her. “Ye are a beautiful woman, Aggie McLaren.”
Aggie swallowed hard and bit her lip. “Would ye be upset if I wanted to take yer last name?”
He gave her his approval with a tender kiss, which she enthusiastically returned. But when he leaned over, pressing his chest against hers, he felt her grow tense and rigid.
While she thoroughly enjoyed his kisses, especially when she was sitting on his lap, she did not like the sensation of having his torso hovering over hers. A sudden pang of unease, an ugly memory from what Eduard had done to her flashed in her mind. As much as she tried, she could not push the uneasy feeling or the memory aside.
Frederick immediately sensed her unease and rolled to his back, bringing her along with him, resting her against his chest. “Aggie,” he whispered her name.
When he heard her breathe a sigh of relief, he knew he’d done the right thing. He waited for her to catch her breath, for her to tell him what she needed or wanted. “’Tis all right if ye need to stop.”
She was quiet for a time as she took deep, slow, steady breaths. “I be sorry. I felt trapped fer a moment.”
Frederick swallowed down the anger he felt toward Eduard Bowie, cursed him silently, and hoped he was burning in hell. He could not blame her for feeling trapped. “’Tis all right, lass,” he said as he caressed her cheek. “We’ll take as long as ye need.”
“I do like the kissin’,” she whispered softly.
Placing his good hand at the base of her neck, he pulled her to him slowly. No coaxing for her lips was necessary. Soon, she was lying flat atop him, fervently kissing him.
Before he realized what she was doing, he felt her tugging at his tunic. A moment later, he pulled it over his head and flung it to the floor. When he opened his eyes, Aggie was lifting her nightdress over her head.
Aroused did not begin to capture the intensity he felt when he saw her naked breasts, no bigger than plums, bouncing away when she tossed the lavender nightdress aside. God’s teeth he would not survive this night if he was not able to find some relief with his wife. Taking deep breaths, he did his best to control his baser urges.
As soon as the nightdress was gone, Aggie returned to lying against his chest and began pressing her lips to his. She kissed the corner of his mouth, his nose, his eyes, his cheeks and chin. She left trails of kisses down his neck that felt like fire licking against his skin. He had to focus on something else, anything else, so that he would not explode like a hapless lad with his first woman.
THE ONE AND only time she had ever been with a man was an ugly, dark, and painful experience, one she had fought hard to purge from her memory for more than ten years. That one brief moment had changed her, leaving a deep, invisible scar on her heart and soul. Aggie had gone from a carefree, feisty, and curious young girl to someone she neither recognized nor, in truth, even liked.
Always scared, always cautious and on guard, always afraid of her own shadow. Always mute and cowering, always feeling unworthy of anything good. And her father’s mistreatment of her over the years did nothing but bolster all those ugly feelings.
I do no’ want to feel ugly anymore.
Frederick made her feel beautiful, strong, and smart. Like a sculptor chipping away at stone, Frederick showed her what had remained dormant and hidden for far too long. One kind word and gesture at a time, he had shown her that she could be that carefree, feisty, and curious woman she was meant to be.
Still, even though he was being so gentle and kind, memories of that day flashed behind her closed eyes. Eduard hovering over her. Eduard smiling that evil smile. Eduard’s hands pinning her to the ground. Eduard’s voice calling her filthy names. The knife as it cut through her tender skin. The sound of her voice as it screamed and begged for mercy, for him to stop, to let her go. Eduard laughing, laughing, laughing, taunting, hurting.
“Aggie,” Frederick’s voice cut through the din of memories, bringing her to the safety of the present moment.
She felt helpless there, underneath, feeling trapped with no means of escape. Much to her relief, Frederick did not sound angry with her as he rolled over and let her lay against his chest. ’Twas all she could do to keep the tears at bay as she explained to him how she felt trapped. And when he told her they could take as much time as she needed, the worry and fear fell away.
Lying atop him, feeling his arms around her, she felt safe.
Ye survived all these years, Aggie. Ye left the keep, rode to Bowie lands and helped rescue yer husband. And Eduard Bowie is dead, at yer own hands. He canna hurt ye any more.
Eduard Bowie canna hurt ye anymore.
And he canna hurt anyone else that ye love.
The realization made her feel stronger, less afraid, and for the first time she could ever remember, she felt powerful. Feeling bold, she told Frederick she did like the kissing. She smiled inwardly at his response.
’TWAS AN EXORCISM and baptism all at once.
Frederick exorcized the demons that had been haunting her for years. His tender kisses and gentle caresses washed away the years of torment and darkness.
He made her feel cherished and adored. Beautiful and precious.
Their love making wasn’t a brazen, passionate affair, though it was filled with passion. It was far more than just two bodies joining for a few moments of pleasure or to hopefully create a child. They were two souls coming together in the most intimate manner possible.
Aggie had felt lost for so long, but with a tenderness she never thought possible, Frederick found her and brought her back amongst the living.
Frederick discovered something about himself as well. While he did, in fact, find the release he’d been denying himself for weeks, he found something far more important. He found another human being’s heart.
With tender ministrations, he helped her through the abyss, over the chasm, and into the light. Until that sweet moment when she reached for, sought out and found her own physical release, he hadn’t realized he’d been searching for his own salvation. And he found it, with her.
Pure, sweet, and tender, exciting, and physic
ally thrilling, it was beyond anything he could have imagined. Joy and bliss blended together in divine benediction of the love, though unspoken, these two people shared.
Frederick had given her all the time she needed and allowed her to set their pace. Encouragement was given through soft sighs, the occasional gasp of delight, kisses and tender caresses.
AGGIE WOULD NEVER have believed it possible to feel so many different things, so many different emotions all at once. Bliss, glee, excitement, new, fresh, clean, reborn …. loved, cherished, adored. It all came rushing out through tears that flowed freely down her cheeks.
No longer was she Aggie McLaren.
She was now, Aggie Mackintosh. Wife of Frederick. Mother to Ailrig.
Frederick held her close, her face resting against his broad chest as the tears fell down his side. Gently, he caressed her back and whispered words of comfort, apologizing for he thought he’d done something wrong.
“Nay, ye did nothin’ wrong, Frederick,” she assured him. “These be happy tears.”
He let out the breath he’d been holding in a whoosh, relieved and glad to hear he’d not harmed her.
They lay there holding on to each other, listening to the sound of the fire crackling and popping, as their pounding hearts slowed to more normal beats. After a time, Frederick helped her roll away and onto her side. Taking her hand in his, he held it next to his heart as he gave sweet kisses to her cheeks.
“Frederick,” Aggie said sleepily. “Please do no’ get mad, but there be somethin’ I want to tell ye.”
A warm smile came to his lips and eyes. “I promise,” he told her as he kissed the tip of her nose.
“I love ye. I truly do. Ye do no’ have to love me back. ’Tis enough that ye like me well enough,” she sighed contentedly as her eyelids closed.
He placed a warm, tender kiss on her lips. “But I do love ye, Aggie Mackintosh. I love ye verra much.”
Her eyes opened, her brow furrowed, uncertain she heard him correctly, and if she had, did she believe him? “Ye promised to always tell me the truth, Frederick. Do no’ start lyin’ now, just because we, well, did what we just did.”
Frederick chuckled softly and kissed her lips again. “I’ve never told a woman I loved her, either to get her into me bed or after. I do love ye. I think I have fer some time now.”
She swallowed hard as she felt her heart swell with joy. “Ye’ve never told a woman ye loved her before?” she asked.
Slowly, he shook his head.
“But have ye loved a woman before?”
Another slow shake of his head was his response.
“So I be the first?” she asked, sounding a bit proud.
“Aye, lass, ye be the first,” he told her as he reached out to the foot of the bed for a fur.
Uncertain what to make of that, she snuggled happily into the crook of his arm. He drew the fur up and made certain she was warm and comfortable. Who would have though such a thing possible? He loves me, Aggie McLaren—nay Mackintosh! I be the first woman he’s ever loved. She mulled it over in her mind for long moments, listening to him as he drifted off to sleep. Yawning once, she snuggled in closer, wishing for a moment she could climb right inside the man and wrap him around her like a warm blanket.
It all felt so …good. Not just the loving—that had been beyond anything she could have imagined. But knowing what was in her husband’s heart left her feeling content and blissfully happy.
She supposed that with Frederick Mackintosh for a husband, nothing was beyond the realm of possibility.
Forty
THE SUN HAD been up for quite some time before Aggie woke. Nestled against her husband, his good arm wrapped protectively around her, she sighed contentedly as she nuzzled against his shoulder. ’Tis a wondrous feeling, to wake up in the arms of a man who loves me, she mused. The thought brought a smile to her face and made her heart skitter about in her chest.
She did not want to leave the comfort of their warm bed, but her bladder argued otherwise. Carefully, she slipped from the bed, tended to the call, washed her hands and face and quickly returned, glad that she hadn’t disturbed her sleeping husband.
As she lay there silently wishing they could remain abed all the day long, mayhap another sennight or two, Frederick stirred. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.
“How did my queen sleep?” he asked playfully, his voice scratchy from sleep.
Aggie giggled as she snuggled in and hugged him. “Verra well, my king.”
“I be a king, now, ye say?” he asked as he stretched.
“After last night, aye, I’d say ye deserve to be a king.”
Frederick chuckled as he rolled over to look at her. “Would the queen be willin’ to give her king a wee kiss?”
Aggie pretended indifference to his request, even though her insides were fluttering about. “I suppose, if the King truly desires to kiss me.”
A mischievous smile grew on Frederick’s face. “Oh, the king desires many things, but fer now, I’ll settle fer a kiss.”
Just as Frederick leaned over to kiss Aggie, the door to their room burst open. Ailrig came bouncing into the room. “Good morn!” he said as he came to the edge of the bed. “Yer still abed. Are ye well?”
“Aye,” Frederick said, sounding rather irritated.
“But yer still abed.” Ailrig repeated. “Ye never stay abed this long. Are ye still healin?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
Aggie had buried her face in Frederick’s side so that her son could not see her face burn red. Frederick slid a hand under the covers and poked her in her ribs. She poked him back. “Aye, I’m still healin’.”
“But why is mum still abed?” Ailrig asked innocently.
Frederick cleared his throat and searched for an appropriate answer. “She’s a wee tired is all. She’s been workin’ verra hard of late.”
Ailrig nodded his head whilst he thought on it for a moment. “Well, then, ye should both stay abed today. When I got hurt and broke me arm, mum wouldna let me out of bed for a fortnight. Mayhap ye should need to do that, so ye’ll heal faster.”
Frederick smiled down at the boy. “I think ye be right, Ailrig. Tell Ian that yer mum and I are verra tired and are workin’ on healin’ me proper. And that we’ll be abed all the day today.”
“Aye, I will,” Ailrig said as he patted Aggie’s shoulder. “I hope ye feel better soon, mum.”
Aggie finally found her voice. “I’m sure I will, son.”
Ailrig gave Frederick a nod and headed toward the door. He spun around as a thought came to him. “Do ye want me to guard the door to make sure no one disturbs ye?”
Frederick stifled a chuckle. “Nay, I do no’ think that will be necessary, Ailrig.”
“I’ll go tell Ian what ye said,” Ailrig told him before quitting the room.
As soon as the door shut, Frederick lay back down and pulled Aggie to his chest. “Ye heard what the lad said?”
Aggie giggled. “Aye, I did.”
“The lad has a good head on his shoulders.” Frederick said before placing a kiss on her nose. “We’ve been ordered to stay abed all day.”
Aggie placed a kiss on the tip of Frederick’s nose. “As yer wife and healer, I have to agree. Ye need yer rest.”
When she attempted to roll away, Frederick placed his hands on her hips. “Aggie,” he said in a low, husky voice. “Please do no’ leave me.”
THE FLITTERING IN her stomach returned. There was much more to his pleading words. He sounded as desperate as she had been weeks ago. Please do no’ leave me. How many times had she silently screamed those words? How many times had she said them aloud? Hours ago, he had admitted to loving her. Now, as she looked into his hazel eyes and saw them filled with more than just the lustful longing a husband has for his wife. Frederick’s were also filled with love and adoration. Never, not even in the deepest recesses of her mind, could she ever have imagined having a man like him who would love her, and love her so complet
ely.
“No’ now, no’ ever,” she whispered.
FREDERICK STOOD NEAR the fireplace in the gathering room with Ian and Findal. Yesterday’s hunt had not been as successful as they would have liked. Increasing their stores for winter was becoming a daunting process, one that Frederick hoped would soon turn more in their favor.
“Eggar says the huntin’ should be better to our east, where the terrain is no’ so rocky or treacherous,” Ian informed Frederick.
“What do ye make of Eggar?” Frederick asked as he sipped on ale.
“I think he be a good man,” Ian answered.
Findal added his own opinion of the man. “I agree with Ian. ’Tis his wife that I do no’ trust.”
Frederick and Ian nodded in agreement. “I’d rather never marry than have a wife like Clair,” Findal said with a shudder.
Ian slapped him on the back and smiled. “I agree, Findal. But we all canna be blessed with wives like Frederick’s.”
Frederick chuckled at his brother’s remark. “Aye, Aggie be a verra fine woman, as is her friend Rose. When are we postin’ the banns?”
Frederick could not resist another chuckle when he watched his brother’s skin turn bright red. “Och, Ian! Did she tell ye nay?”
“No’ that it’s any of yer business, brother, but I have no’ asked her yet.”
Frederick arched a brow and found that rather odd. “But I thought the two of ye were quite fond of each other.”
“Leave it be, Frederick,” Ian warned.
Frederick studied his brother for a moment then shook his head in disbelief. “I never thought I’d see the day that me own brother is afraid.”
Ian cocked his head to one side. “Me? Afraid? Of what?”
A warm smile formed on Frederick’s lips. “Of Rose.”
Ian found no humor in his brother’s teasing. “I be no’ afraid of her, Frederick. I am simply takin’ me time, like she asked.”
That was news to Frederick. “Rose asked that of ye?”
Frederick's Queen: The Clan Graham Series Page 41