by Mary Brendan
‘By dangling his childhood home...that is now in my possession.’
‘Fieldcrest House?’ Faye sounded disbelieving. ‘I know it’s for sale.’
‘I found out he was attached to it so made sure I acquired it as a bargaining tool. You’re right...he went quietly...no violence erupted on either side.’
‘I’m glad about that, and, yes, he was attached to it.’ Faye briskly turned her mind away from the finality of her betrothal and to the matter of Peter’s estate. ‘I think he was fonder of that place than of me.’
‘Are you pining for him already?’
‘No!’ Faye jumped up and faced him. ‘I will never pine for him, only for a future I expected to have.’
‘He’d hoped to reclaim the property with what he stole from you. He almost did.’
‘I know he spoke of one day getting it back.’ Faye pressed her fingers to a throb in her temple. ‘I must thank you for making him return my money. Perhaps I should have taken his need for his inheritance more seriously. He never asked me to help him buy it...perhaps if he had—’
‘He didn’t need to ask, did he?’ Ryan bluntly interrupted. ‘He took what he wanted and would have taken you, too, without consent. If you’d married him, would you have turned a blind eye to his philandering?’
‘I wasn’t aware he had a mistress; I suppose that was very naive of me,’ Faye said quietly. She gave Ryan an old-fashioned glance. ‘In any case, a man who keeps two paramours, one each end of town, shouldn’t moralise.’
Ryan grunted a laugh, rubbing the bridge of his nose in something akin to embarrassment. ‘I’m no angel, I’ll admit it. But I don’t keep two women...and haven’t for a long time. I don’t even keep one any more.’ He sounded self-mocking. ‘Who told you that tale?’
‘The same people who told me you had a concubine at the manor. Or, in other words, the rumour might have come from any number of people in Wilverton.’
‘They were all wrong about Ruby, weren’t they?’ he drawled.
‘You were wrong, too, sir, for withholding the truth of the matter,’ Faye retorted. ‘On the whole folk are fair-minded.’
‘Are they, now? They’d sooner have a scandal than an innocent answer, it seems; even a little village likes its gossip. But you’re right, I should have spoken out.’ A throb of regret made his voice husky. ‘When you’ve gypsy blood you learn at a young age to keep things about your kith and kin private amongst genteel folk. Honesty can cause a problem.’ He gestured abruptly. ‘Perhaps I have been naive, too. I believed that Ruby would be assumed to be my ward as that’s how she sees herself. I thought village folk too prim to come up with such fantastical interpretations of my domestic arrangements. I wasn’t happy when I heard of the vile rumours swirling about us. But I don’t have to explain myself or my daughter to anybody, or beg their pardon for our Romany blood.’
Faye had discerned the bitterness and hurt in his voice and she stretched out a hand to comfort him. ‘But surely by being too proud and sensitive about it you’ve made matters worse?’
‘I know I have. And I regret not having let you know a long while ago how I felt about you...really felt. I was a coward who feared you’d distance yourself from a man with gypsy blood running in his veins.’
‘And what do you think now?’ Faye asked softly, feeling that her heart might break from tenderness. She’d never seen him look so vulnerable.
‘Now I know you’re too fine a lady to act in a mean way.’
‘You’ve met prejudice because of your heritage?’
‘I’ve been called a mongrel on occasions because of my mixed blood. My parents were ostracised by some people because of their love for one another. It’s not just the gorjas; some Romanies prefer their relatives to marry their own kind.’
‘I...I didn’t know, I’m sorry.’ Faye kept her voice controlled, but inwardly a rage simmered in her breast at those nameless bigots.
‘You didn’t want your sister associating with a gypsy boy, did you?’
‘I did not,’ Faye returned in a voice that held no apology, but a hint of defiance. ‘My disapproval wasn’t based on Donagh’s race; the match was unsuitable.’
‘Your sister didn’t think so.’
‘She does now,’ Faye sounded wry. ‘It was an infatuation, that’s all. She longs to be grown up; riding the country lanes in a caravan and stewing pheasants for dinner seemed wonderfully romantic.’ She smiled. ‘My sister is a girl who finds it a fag to have to help wash up the dinner plates. She would soon have grown bored with that hard life. In fact, she’d tired of it even before embarking upon it.’ Faye gazed earnestly at him. ‘Please believe me when I say that I do feel very sorry that she led Donagh on the way she did. In truth, they both have had a lucky escape from a bond that would have made them unhappy.’
‘And you...would you grow bored and unhappy with a life on the road, or of being slandered as a gypsy’s woman?’ His eyes roved her features as though he might read his answer there rather than wait for it.
Faye understood that there was more to his question than simple rhetoric.
‘It depends on with whom I would be sharing my journey. I’d sooner spend my days with a gypsy than a fraudster, if that answers you.’
‘It does. And it makes me feel a greater fool for not having told you the truth about Ruby much sooner. At first I felt guilty at having drawn the Lees into the neighbourhood, but now... I’m not so sure that I do. Donagh Lee presented us both with a problem and that drew us together and gave me a reason to get to know you better.’
‘It seems to me that there must have been more to their pursuit than simply Donagh’s infatuation with your daughter.’
Ryan smiled. ‘Money is what really brought them.’
‘You owed them money?’ she frowned.
‘They said I did, and I agreed that I did and I paid them. It’s the way of things in the clans.’
Faye didn’t understand that logic, but didn’t want to pry into his private finances. Besides there was something more pressing on her mind that she would know. ‘You asked if I would have a life on the road. Are you intending to give up your role as a country noble and go travelling?’
‘Maybe...you said you would go with me wherever it might be. If our path doesn’t lead to a country house and genteel acquaintances, what then?’
‘Then...then the same conditions would apply, Mr Kavanagh,’ Faye answered clearly. ‘Be you gypsy or gentleman, I will go nowhere with you until you tell me some more about your past and the people who have featured in it. I want to know about Ruby’s mother, Shona Adair.’
The quiet between them seemed to pulse with the beat of her heart and when it became unbearable she said softly, ‘You should go. I think we both need time to think about things. Come back tomorrow, if you will. I’m not leaving the Bull and Mouth until after twelve noon, so if you want to speak to me before I journey home there will be an opportunity.’
Immediately he strode to the door. Instead of leaving, he turned the key, locking them in.
Chapter Twenty-One
‘I want to speak to you now.’
There was an undercurrent of steel in his voice that made a thrill ripple through Faye.
‘To say what?’ she demanded, equally insistent. ‘That you want me to be your mistress and that you will treat me to all manner of luxury while I’m under your protection? I know that, but I won’t sleep with a man who is in many ways a stranger. You know of my life and family and comment freely on them, but it seems I’m not allowed to know the important things in your background.’
‘I want to tell you everything about my past and I’ve already said I wish I had done so sooner. But I couldn’t find the courage or the right words then...and I’m struggling now. I don’t know how to tell you what I’ve done. I don’t want you to think b
adly of me.’
‘Is it something criminal or immoral?’ Even as Faye demanded that answer she was inwardly denying that it could be true. She intuitively knew that he was a decent man...but then she’d thought that of Peter Collins, she soberly reminded herself.
‘Some might think me immoral for having got Shona pregnant out of wedlock, although I knew nothing of the baby until many years later. In my defence I believed we had gone our separate ways with nothing binding us.’
‘Shona didn’t tell you that you were a father?’ Faye sounded astonished.
‘She didn’t have a chance to...by then I was a young officer serving overseas in the army. But my feelings for her were sincere, it was no callous seduction. We spoke of some day settling down together. But it was wrong, I know that now, to have spoken of a wedding when I was barely old enough to understand what marriage vows were about.’
‘Your parents disapproved...’ Faye guessed, giving him a soft smile.
‘My mother was hopeful that our aristocratic relations would react well should I decide to make a wild gypsy girl my wife. My father held a different view...pessimistic, or perhaps practical, might be a more accurate word,’ he continued sourly. ‘He thought I should marry somebody of my own station when the time came for me to take that step.’
‘But he chose to marry a Romany rather than somebody of his own station.’
‘He did,’ Ryan said with a hint of pride. ‘My father went after what he wanted despite ostracism from some of his kin. He’d spotted Elizabeth Walsh when out riding and he pursued her. And I’m happy to say that she loved him equally. On the whole they were happy together. My father was an eligible bachelor and apparently many debutantes were disappointed when he wed a woman many thought undeserving of his attention.’ Ryan smiled sourly. ‘They’d experienced a lot of prejudice and didn’t want me to follow in their footsteps. My love affair with Shona caused friction between them and I deeply regretted that. But my mother didn’t try to stop us meeting by using her clan connections; she rightly predicted that my infatuation with Shona Adair would run its course.’ Ryan’s mouth curved in a nostalgic smile. ‘She knew me better than I knew myself. I was a youth of seventeen besotted with his first sweetheart. I was also a viscount’s heir. My mother loved her birth family, but she took her role as Viscountess, and her loyalty to my father, very seriously.’ He paused. ‘She impressed on me that she didn’t want me to suffer the discrimination that had made her life difficult. She told me all this impartially, without trying to turn me away from Shona.’
He prowled to and fro in the candlelit gloom and Faye intuitively stayed quiet, allowing him the time he needed to dwell on his memories.
‘Our affair endured during my absence at an English university,’ he resumed. ‘Although I was no longer faithful to her I always looked forward to returning to Ireland so we could be together. But I never proposed marriage.’
‘Did she die before you had a chance to wed and be a family with your baby?’ Faye asked solemnly.
‘Shona passed away two years after Ruby was born. By then she was another man’s wife.’ He roamed to the window to stare up at the sky. ‘I loved Shona when I was a boy and I love my daughter now I know her...but whether I would have willingly done the decent thing at an age when I was immature and incapable of being constant... I think I would not.’
‘Hindsight is never kind,’ Faye said gently.
‘Quite so,’ Ryan ruefully concurred over a shoulder. ‘In the end I was glad I had allowed my father to persuade me to take a commission in the army after I graduated. I grew to love, and hate, the military life. The brutality that goes hand in hand with the valour finally killed my soldiering spirit at Quatre Bras.’
‘I expect you saw some dreadful things...’
‘I did some dreadful things. It was the only way to survive and get my men off that battlefield. But whatever colours we wore we were all human beings, deserving of some dignity and pity. Those things can’t be present in a melee of hand-to-hand fighting.’ He continued staring into the night, a shimmering brightness in his eyes. ‘Major Kavanagh no longer exists now, so no matter on that score,’ he said quietly. ‘The point is that my parents were wise enough to agree that the discipline of a career would benefit me. They just each took a different approach to the problem of Shona.’
Faye moistened her lips and sat down again on the bed, feeling troubled. ‘Surely you didn’t just go away and abandon Shona, did you? You had a child with her by then.’
‘I never knew about Ruby. If my parents suspected Shona’s firstborn was mine, they kept it to themselves. There was no mention of it in letters they sent, although they let me know that she had married and become a mother.’ Ryan turned from the window. ‘The Adairs knew that Shona was increasing and found her a willing husband. Donagh’s uncle married her and got her pregnant again. She died in childbed within two years of the wedding taking place. The infant perished, too.’
‘Oh...what a dreadful shame,’ Faye said with genuine sorrow. ‘How did you eventually find out about your daughter? Did your mother tell you?’
‘If my parents discovered they had a granddaughter, they took that information to their graves. In the end Ruby’s maternal grandmother broke the news. My daughter has a wild streak. She gets that from Shona.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘Shona’s husband turned his back on Ruby. I’d like to believe it was due to his grief over losing his wife and baby, because apparently they had all been happy together for those few short years. But it is more likely that he no longer felt obliged to rear another man’s child. Shona’s family took Ruby in and brought her up until she was twelve.’ Ryan thrust his hands into his pockets and began to prowl aimlessly in the flickering candlelight. ‘Ruby’s grandmother was finding my daughter too spirited to handle. She summoned me...told me all about it and said Ruby’s stars promised her riches, not a travelling life. The woman was heartbroken because she wanted to keep Ruby, but knew that I could give her things that she needed to fulfil her destiny.’ Ryan’s smile was ironic. ‘Romanies might be superstitious, but perhaps I am, too. We rarely meet, yet I feel close to them. A bond that is never tightened or nurtured is always present between us.’ He looked at her. ‘Does that shock you? That I feel an affinity to the people who entertain you at village fairs with their gimcrack and lucky charms?’
‘I think it is quite wonderful that you have such a strong attachment to your mother’s folk.’ She smiled. ‘I had my fortune told by a gypsy.’
‘And what did she say?’ Ryan walked slowly back towards her.
‘The truth...I hope...’ Faye whispered, remembering the old woman’s words that she’d enjoy a happy marriage with a good man who was close by. Ryan had been just yards away at the time...
Ryan removed a hand from his pocket to stroke her warm cheek. ‘I have another side to me...the one my father built. And I am not as averse to using my title as people think. I just don’t always see a necessity for it. Neither did I see the point in pinning medals to my redcoat and parading in front of the King for his good opinion.’ He paused and touched the scar on his face. ‘This is the decoration I don’t mind bearing. But there is one obligation I acknowledge above all else. My duty to protect and provide for my daughter will never waver. And I do love her, trial that she is at times.’
Faye imagined that a good deal of young men might try to wriggle out of such responsibilities by any means possible. But not Ryan Kavanagh; she guessed he’d been about twenty-eight when his daughter was abruptly foisted on to him. She’d thought Ruby was too young to be his sister...but...he looked too young to be a sixteen-year-old girl’s father. ‘You readily accepted that Ruby was yours?’
‘I knew the moment I looked at her. My mother was a Walsh and the Adairs and Walshes and Lees have feuds that stretch back over generations. Yet they have married one another along the way. Ruby is the image of my mother. I
wish she could have met her, but they were kept apart, so I learned from Shona’s kin.’
‘How cruel... I expect they would have adored to know one another.’
‘The Adairs didn’t want Ruby being claimed by the rich and powerful Kavanaghs. They are proud people who live by their own codes. They could have approached my parents for money. They didn’t and neither would they take payment from me for rearing my daughter for all those years.’ He chuckled. ‘Thus, I would be a heartless landlord indeed if after all that I charged them to shoot and fish on the Kavanagh estate they trespass on.’ He paused. ‘But the Lees saw things differently. As head of the clan Bill Lee took it on himself to demand recompense for having allowed Shona and her daughter shelter within the Lee family. Bill’s first demand was that Ruby should marry Donagh and bring some of the Kavanagh riches with her.’ He leant a fist against the wall, gazing at it before resuming, ‘When I made it clear that my daughter was marrying no man for some years hence, he followed me to England to settle for the cash I’d previously offered him.’
‘Was it a lot of money?’ Faye asked in awe.
‘It was...and she’s worth every penny. I don’t begrudge paying the Lees. It has salved my conscience in a way; they cared for Shona and Ruby, treating them well, and it was my job to do that.’ He paused. ‘And now it is time to move on.’ He wiped a hand across his jaw. ‘But I wish my mother had known her granddaughter.’
‘And will Ruby know her father?’ Faye asked gently. ‘Your daughter believes she is an orphan.’
Ryan thrust his fingers through his hair. ‘I know I must tell her...when the time is right.’ He paced aimlessly to the window, bracing two hands against the frame. ‘She knows her mother passed away when she was little and she believes her father died soldiering. I don’t blame Shona’s people for embellishing the truth. I was introduced to her as her guardian when she was just twelve. At the time it seemed right to prevaricate and leave a difficult explanation until she was more mature.’