by T. K. Chapin
Exiting the bathroom, I came over to the Jacuzzi and climbed in. Nathan eyeballed me as I got in the opposite end from him. I shot him a suspicious glare.
“My shorts are on,” he said with a laugh in his voice.
As I lowered myself into the Jacuzzi, bubbling hot water wrapped itself around me as the smell of lavender filled my nose. My tight muscles from the day suddenly began to loosen, and every part of my arms, back and legs fell into a deep relaxation. “This is amazing,” I said as I closed my eyes.
“I know,” he replied.
“Why don’t you turn on the game?” I asked as I opened my eyes and looked at him.
He shook his head. “I don’t care about the game.”
There was truth in his words. I could sense it. He really was a changed man from the one I showed up with to the inn. “I’m curious. Why the sudden and quick changes, Nathan?”
Looking away from me, he said, “Honestly? The biopsy. It woke me up. No longer was it just about my being unhappy or some stupid, petty thing like fighting. You could have had cancer. Could have died. The truth is, Lizzy, I love you. I was being selfish, and I was in the wrong.”
“I see . . .”
“Yeah,” he said gently. “I was being stupid and giving in to my flesh. It wasn’t right. I’m so sorry, Lizzy. I’m going to spend my entire life making it up to you. You deserve better than me, and if you do stay with me, I’m going to do my best to make you happy every day. God willing, and with His help, of course.”
His words tipped me over the edge in a good way. Between his subtle touches and now the outpouring of love from his lips, I was overwhelmed with the warmth of his love. Sitting up in the Jacuzzi, I brought a finger up and motioned him to come closer. He smiled and adjusted his legs under the water to be around mine. He shook his head and smiled. Pulling me by the arms gently, he brought me into his arms. Only a few inches were between us. Looking into my eyes, he tilted his head and brought a hand up. Gently brushing my cheek, he said, “You truly are the most beautiful woman on earth.” He leaned in and let his lips gently press against mine.
My heart fluttered as my mind cleared of any thought. Kissing him back, I let the warmth of our love flow through my body. Grabbing onto my shoulders, he pulled me closer to him. Wrapping my arms around his neck as his lips traveled from my mouth down my neck, I felt more connected to him than I had in years.
Chapter 11
Rolling over the next day, I looked at Nathan as he was still asleep next to me. Smiling, I framed his face with a hand. Last night had been amazing. Blinking his eyes open, he grinned up at me.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Good morning,” I replied.
Nathan asked, “How are you?”
Furrowing my eyebrow at him, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“Your heart.” His eyebrows went up. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay,” I replied confidently as I nodded.
We got out of bed and headed downstairs for breakfast with Serenah. As we talked with her, my mind soon wandered back to Nathan’s affair. I wanted to forget about it and just never look back, but I couldn’t. Not finishing my breakfast, I took the remainder of my eggs and toast and threw them away in the kitchen.
On the way into Newport, Nathan picked up on my uneasiness in the car and asked, “What’s wrong, Lizzy?”
Shaking my head, I looked away and out my window as tears welled in my eyes. He tried touching my shoulder, but I rolled out of it. With a shaky voice, I said, “I can’t just . . . just shake what happened. I want to move on so badly. I do. I just don’t know how.”
He was silent.
“You didn’t just cheat on me once, Nathan. There were multiple times. Do you know how much that hurts me? I felt like complete garbage for years about what I did three years ago. Yet you had seen someone else in a very intimate way for a month.”
“Oh . . .” he replied softly.
Reaching over, I touched his hand and said, “I know I’m sending mixed signals. Yesterday was amazing with the church and the history thing we’re trying to figure out, but . . .” I shrugged. “It’s just a distraction from the reality.” Tears ran down my cheeks. “Tomorrow, we’re going home, and then . . . I don’t know, Nathan. I just don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Wiping a tear from his eyes, he turned and said, “I won’t make you wait a whole month. I won’t fight it even if you want to go file when we get home. What I did was horrid.”
We pulled into the diner just then, and he parked the car. Turning to him, I said, “I appreciate that. I don’t know what I’ll ultimately do at this point, but know that I’m trying.”
He nodded and wiped his eyes of more tears.
Getting out of the car, we went inside the diner and sat in a booth. Glancing around the diner, there were a few different older men sitting and drinking coffee.
Nathan leaned across the table and said, “Wonder which one is him.”
A waitress arrived to our table. “Hi, I’m Charlotte. I’m new here. New in the sense I haven’t worked here before.” Her voice quieted as she turned red. “I didn’t need to say that . . .” She glanced back at the waitress watching her. Turning back to us, she continued, “Anyway, what can I get you guys to eat? I mean . . . drink?”
“Coffee,” Nathan and I both said at the same time. We looked at each other and smiled as we lightly laughed. Though the conversation in the car was difficult, it didn’t keep us from being able to enjoy the cuteness of what had just happened.
“That’s cute. You two are cute together,” Charlotte replied. “I’ll be back with that, and that should give you some time to decide on breakfast.”
“Wait,” Nathan said. She paused and turned back to us as he continued, “We’re not going to eat. Can you help us with something else?”
Her eyebrows shot up. “What’s that?”
I smiled at her and said, “We’re trying to get some history on Newport.”
“I grew up here and have pretty close ties to the Townsons, one of the early families that first settled here. What are you after?”
“Really?” I replied. “We were coming in to speak with Donald Atkins.” The name caused her to grimace. “We’re after information on an old family called the Johnsons. That name mean anything to you? They had a little chapel on the north side of Diamond Lake back in the early 1900s.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about that.” She gave a curt nod to one of the nearby tables. “Donald is that guy over there with silver hair.”
We both glanced over and looked at him. “Thanks,” I said. Charlotte and the other server behind her left our table soon after.
Nathan and I both got out of the booth. Looking at Nathan, I asked, “You know what you’re going to say?”
“Just going to ask about the family,” he replied. Glancing over at him, he asked, “Was there something different I should ask that I’m not aware of?”
I shook my head. “No. That’s a good plan.” Looking over at Donald, I saw that Old Man Grump look on his face. I turned back to Nathan. “You go. I’m going to stay. He doesn’t look like the type of guy you want to ambush.”
“Okay.” Nathan tenderly kissed my cheek and then went over to the man’s table. I sat back down in the booth. Raising my hand to my face, I touched my cheek where he had kissed me. He’s so sweet. My eyes became watery. Stop being so emotional! I told myself. After a few minutes went by and Nathan was still over at the table talking to him, I peered over at them to see how it was going.
“Here’s your coffee,” Charlotte said, setting our coffees down on the table.
“Thank you,” I replied, turning my attention to the cups.
As she left the table, Nathan came back over to the table and sat down. He had a grin from ear to ear on his face.
“Out with it!” I insisted with a smile.
Taking a sip of his coffee, he set it down and said, “Okay.” His eyes floated back over
toward the direction of Donald and then back at me. “I got a bit more information than I asked for, but it was interesting for sure. As for the Johnsons, William and Mary were the community’s go-to people for all matters of the faith—kind of neat.” Nathan took another sip of his coffee before continuing. “Donald also said the two of them were unable to have children, so they kind of took the whole community under their wing, instructing and solving most disputes around the lake and in Newport. Donald made a point to say it was highly unusual for a woman to have that kind of role in the early 1900s, but Mary was regarded as a virtuous woman and respected community-wide.” He leaned across the table and said, “It gets dark though.”
Raising an eyebrow in curiosity as I leaned in, I asked, “How?”
He looked hesitant to continue.
“Come on, Nathan. Just tell me.”
“William beat Mary on several occasions. Really badly. This Donald guy’s family kept journals dating back to the foundation of the town. The diaries talk about how Mary would come over with multiple cuts and bruises across her face and all over her body. Donald’s great-great-grandmother, who wrote the journal, was a nurse. She’d help clean the wounds and bandage her up.”
Shaking my head, I felt a sting in my heart for Mary. “How on earth? They worked for Christ and did His work. How could that kind of thing go on?”
Nathan said, “Donald told me that kind of thing was common back then, but the real truth was that Mary cared more about the Lord. Elle, the great-great-grandmother, tried to tell her to leave him, but she wasn’t concerned about her husband’s misdealings with her. Instead, her desire was to care for the townspeople.”
“That’s messed up,” I said.
“Yeah, it is. That period was a lot different from today though. It’s really hard to swallow. No woman should ever go through something like that.” Nathan shook his head with a look of disgust. “Not right.”
I nodded.
“Oh, something weird I learned. Kind of explains that sideways look Charlotte gave us when we mentioned the Atkinses.”
Leaning in, I raised my eyebrows, “Do tell!”
“The Townsons and the Atkins family have been feuding since the foundation of this town. Something about a golden bell in the lake?”
“Wow,” I replied. “Why?”
“Donald said the town was transporting a large golden bell across the lake that the Atkins paid for when a storm blew in and the boat sank. The bell was supposed to be where that large iron horse is in the center of town.”
“Intriguing,” I replied.
“I know, right?” Nathan replied. “I guess the other family, the Townsons, claim they were the ones who paid for it and it belongs to them.”
“Doesn’t it belong to the town?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No. After not being able to recover the bell, the town decided to withdraw their interest in it.”
“Odd,” I replied. “Couldn’t someone just use equipment to find it?”
“It’s forbidden on the lake. That’s why it’s so peaceful.”
Donald Atkins walked by just then and tipped his chin to Nathan on his way out of the diner. Looking past him, I could see Charlotte shoot an ice cold glare in Donald’s direction. “Charlotte just glared at Donald. This feud is really still going on after all these years?”
Nathan peered over his shoulder toward the waitress and nodded. “Very much so. Donald seemed angry to merely speak about the Townsons.” Turning his eyes back to me, Nathan reached across the table and grabbed onto both my hands. “I miss you, Elizabeth. I miss this. Us being us. Together. Enjoying life.”
Though it pained me on levels I couldn’t even fully comprehend, I couldn’t help but agree with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. “I miss us, too.”
Tomorrow morning lingered in the back of my mind as I looked at him. We’d be heading back to reality. Nathan had no job, and we had a mortgage payment due in a few weeks. Though we had enough savings to last us for a couple of months, it wasn’t ideal to dig into that. The thought of returning home was a bit unnerving to me and caused my stomach to turn and my blood pressure to rise just thinking about it.
**
For dinner that final evening, Nathan offered to run to Newport and pick something up for us while I stayed back and packed our bags. I agreed. As I walked the room and retrieved dirty clothing, I stopped near the window. The lake still captivated me just as it did the first time I saw it when we arrived. Seeing an eagle fly from a branch, I watched. It swooped down to the water and glided across the surface of the water, then shot upward into the sky.
Freedom, I thought to myself as I watched the eagle fly into the distance. I could be free. Free from pain and heartache. All I had to do was file for divorce. My mind lingered over to Mary Johnson. It bothered me to know she was physically battered by her husband and stayed with him. I was no Mary. Though I hadn’t suffered from physical beatings, I had enough emotional scarring to last a lifetime. It’s not wrong to leave him, I told myself. What’s the right thing to do? I prayed in the moment.
As I was finishing up with packing, a knock came at the door. “Come in,” I said as I placed my flip-flops into the duffel bag.
“Hey,” Serenah said gently. “You’ll be gone tomorrow, and I wanted to give you a verse to meditate on as you find yourself back in the realities of daily life.”
Raising an eyebrow, I said, “Oh, yeah? What verse?”
“First Peter 5:7. It’s not something I do with all my guests, but I feel like you and I . . .”
“Connected?” I offered, finishing her sentence.
She broke out in a smile as she came closer. She grasped onto my arms and said, “Yes! I had a really nice time talking to you.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Listening to my drama, you mean.”
“No. Not at all,” she replied. Her eyes surveyed the room and looked over to the window I had been standing at earlier. “You’re going to be okay, Elizabeth.”
Letting out a relieved sigh, I said, “Thanks. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that right now.”
She looked at me. “What would you like for your final breakfast? How does a sausage, egg and cheese muffin sandwich sound?”
“Delicious.” Zipping the zipper on the duffel bag, I let my hands fall to my sides. “Done.” I turned to her. “Thank you for listening to me and praying with me. I appreciate it all more than words can tell.”
Serenah placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “You’re welcome.” She pointed to the nightstand on Nathan’s side. “There’s a notebook in there if you want to leave a note for future guests.” She gave me a hug and left the room.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed on Nathan’s side, I pulled out my phone and went to the Bible app to look up the verse.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
After reading the verse, I closed my phone and opened the drawer. A little blue notebook along with a pen sat at the bottom of the drawer. Pulling it out, I opened it up and scanned the pages. Stories of anniversaries and newly-weds filled most of the pages, and then I came to a blank page. This page was mine. Smoothing out the page, I placed the date up in the corner and then began to write.
Chapter 12
After a delightful breakfast the next morning, it was time to go back home. After exchanging goodbyes with Charlie and Serenah, Nathan and I got in our car and headed to Moses Lake. Our kids, Jenny and Dakota, were already eagerly awaiting our arrival. Two and half hours was a long time in the car with anyone, let alone with a betraying spouse. The quiet wasn’t good in the car. It allowed my mind to think, to wander and linger in areas I didn’t want it to go. Places I had been able to avoid for the most part.
I made it to the one-hour mark.
Silent tears streamed down my cheeks, giving away the storm of emotions raging inside.
Nathan noticed.
“Lizzy?” he asked gentl
y.
Wiping my eyes, I asked, “What?”
“You’re crying. What’s wrong?” Reaching a hand over, he placed it on top of my hand that rested on my thigh.
“Really?” I snapped, pulling my hand away. I crossed my arms and looked out the window. “I’m sorry. I just feel so anxious. I can’t control my thoughts, my emotions. It hurts.”
“Say what you need to say. I can handle it, Lizzy. Tell me what’s going on inside that heart of yours.” He adjusted in his seat. “You deserve to express it to me.”
“You made me feel unloved,” I replied, keeping my eyes on the blur of scenery outside my window. “Right now, I feel dirty knowing that you were sleeping with her. The thought literally makes me feel like vomiting.” I began crying. “I’m not trying to be mean right now. I’m just scared and confused—which probably seems weird after the other night.”
“I know it does little to ease the pain, but I’m sorry.” He looked over at me with tears running down his cheeks. “Sleeping out on that balcony was tough. Not because it was super cold—which it was—but because every time I woke up in the middle of night, I saw you through the doors, and it killed me all over again for what I had done to us. I feel like a piece of trash for what I’ve done to you, and I wouldn’t blame you if you left me when we got home. I fully expect it.”
“How’d you cheat on me without any difficulties? Any struggle? For an entire month? How could you look me in the eye daily and feel no remorse for your own affair? How could you not even feel bad?” I asked as tears streamed down my cheeks and my heart spilled out.
He shook his head. “You think I didn’t feel bad? Or feel any remorse? I can’t count how many sleepless nights I had debating on telling you. I came so close so many times. It’s fine for you to be angry. It’s fine if you want to end our marriage, but don’t sit there and tell me I didn’t struggle with this.” More tears came as his defenses lowered and he continued, “I don’t understand how I, who call myself a man of God, could screw up so badly.”