Even then she was still marvelling at it all, until I pointed out that it was after four o’clock, and what would Lady Chalmers say? She giggled, and said we had better go, and chattered incessantly while she dressed and I lazily put myself in order.
“Oh, it is the most wonderful thing!” she kept saying. “The Queen! The Duke! Oh, Harry!”
“Aye,” says I, “and where were you, eh? Sparking in the Row all afternoon with one of your admirers.”
“Oh, he is the greatest bore,” says she laughing. “Nothing to talk of but his horses. We spent the entire afternoon riding in the Park, and he spoke of nothing else for two hours on end!”
“Did he, begad,” says I. “Why, you must have been soaked.”
She was in a cupboard by now, among her dresses, and didn’t hear, and idly I reached out, not thinking, and touched the bottle-green riding coat that lay across the end of the bed. I felt it, and my heart suddenly turned to stone. The coat was bone-dry. I twisted round to look at the boots standing by a chair; they shone glossy, with not a mark or a splash on them.
I sat, feeling sick, listening to my heart thumping, while she chattered away. It had rained steadily from the time I had left Wellington at the Horse Guards until I had left the club more than an hour later and come home. She could not have been riding in the Park in that downpour. Well, where the devil had she and Watney been, then, and what …?
I felt rage mounting inside me, rage and spite, but I held myself in, telling myself I might be wrong. She was patting her face with a rabbit’s foot before the glass, never minding me, so I said, very easy like:
“Whereabouts did you go for your ride?”
“Oh, in the Park, as I said. Nowhere at all in particular.”
Now that’s a lie for certain, thinks I, and yet I couldn’t believe it. She looked so damned innocent and open, so feather-headed and full of nonsense as she went on and on about my wonderful, wonderful hour at the palace; why, only ten minutes ago she had been coupling with me on the bed, letting me … aye, letting me. Suddenly the ugly thought of the first night home came rushing back to me – how I had fancied she was less ardent than I remembered her. Perhaps I had been right; perhaps she had been less passionate. Well she might be, if in my absence she had found some jockey who was more to her fancy over the jumps than I was. By God, if that were true I would …
I sat there shaking, my head turned away so that she would not see me in the mirror. Had that slut Judy been hinting at the truth, then? Was Watney cuckolding me – and heaven knew who else besides him? I was fairly boiling with shame and anger at the thought. But it couldn’t be true! No, not Elspeth. And yet there was Judy’s sneer, and those boots winking their wickedness at me – they hadn’t been near the Park this afternoon, by God!
While the maid came back and attended to Elspeth’s hair again, and I tried to close my ears to the shrill feminine trilling of her talk, I tried to take hold of myself. Maybe I was wrong – oh, God, I hoped so. It wasn’t just that strange yearning that I had about Elspeth, it was my … well, my honour, if you like. Oh, I didn’t give a damn about what the world calls honour, but the thought of another man, or men, frollicking in the hay with my wife, who should have been unable to imagine a more masterful or heroic lover than the great Flashman – the hero whose name was on everyone’s lips, God help us – the thought of that! …
Pride is a hellish thing; without it there isn’t any jealousy or ambition. And I was proud of the figure I cut – in bed and in barracks. And here was I, the lion of the hour, medal and all, the Duke’s handshake and the Queen’s regard still fresh – and I was gnawing my innards out about a gold-headed filly without a brain to her name. And I must bite my lip and not say a word, for fear of the row there would be if I let slip a breath of my suspicions – right or wrong, the fat would be in the fire, and I couldn’t afford that.
“Well, how do I look?” says she, coming to stand in front of me in her gown and bonnet. “Why, Harry, you have gone quite pale! I know, it is the excitement of this day! My poor dear!” And she tilted up my head and kissed me. No, I couldn’t believe it, looking into those baby-blue eyes. Aye, and what about those baby-black boots?
“We shall go out to Lady Chalmers’s,” said she, “and she will be quite over the moon when she hears about this. I expect there will be quite a company there, too. I shall be so proud, Harry – so proud! Now, let me straighten your cravat; bring a brush, Susan – what an excellent coat it is. You must always go to that tailor – which is he again? There now; oh, Harry, how handsome you look! See yourself in the glass!”
I looked, and seeing myself so damned dashing, and her radiant and fair beside me, I fought down the wretchedness and rage. No, it couldn’t be true …
“Susan, you have not put away my coat, silly girl. Take it at once, before it creases.”
By God, though, I knew it was. Or I thought I knew. To the devil with the consequences, no little ninny in petticoats was going to do this to me.
“Elspeth,” says I, turning.
“Hang it carefully, now, when you’ve brushed it. There. Yes, my love?”
“Elspeth …”
“Oh, Harry, you look so strong and fierce, on my word. I don’t think I shall feel easy in my mind when I see all these fancy London ladies making eyes at you.” And she pouted very pretty and touched her finger on my lips.
“Elspeth, I –”
“Oh, I had nearly forgot – you had better take some money with you. Susan, bring me my purse. In case of any need that may arise, you know. Twenty guineas, my love.”
“Much obliged,” says I.
What the devil, you have to make do as best you can; if the tide’s there, swim with it and catch on to whatever offers. You only go by once.
“Will twenty be sufficient, do you think?”
“Better make it forty.”
(At this point the first packet of The Flashman Papers ends abruptly).
Glossary
Badmash a scoundrel
Feringhee European, possibly a corruption of “Frankish” or “English”
Ghazi a fanatic
Havildar sergeant
Hubshi negro (literally “woolly-head”)
Huzoor lord, master, in the sense of “sir” (Pushtu equivalent of “sahib”)
Idderao come here (imp.)
Jao go, get away (imp.)
Jawan soldier
Jezzail long rifle of the Afghans
Juldi quickly, hurry up
Khabadar be careful (imp.)
Maidan plain, exercise ground
Munshi teacher, usually of language
Puggarree turban cloth
Rissaldar native officer commanding cavalry troop
Sangar small stone breastwork like grouse butt
Shabash bravo
Sowar trooper
Notes
1. Lord Brougham’s speech in May, 1839, “lashed the Queen … with unsparing severity” (Greville) and caused great controversy.
2. Lady Flora Hastings, Maid of Honour to the Duchess of Kent, was believed to be pregnant, until medical examination proved that she was not. She won great popular sympathy, but the young Queen, who had been bitterly hostile towards her, suffered dramatically in public esteem.
3. Captain John Reynolds, a particular butt of Cardigan’s, was the centre of the notorious Black Bottle affair, in which his resignation was demanded because he was believed to have ordered a bottle of porter in the mess on guest night.
4. Cardigan had, in fact, served in India, when he went out to take command of the 11th at Cawnpore in 1837, but had spent only a few weeks with the regiment.
5. Cardigan was a favourite target of the newspapers, and especially of the Morning Chronicle (not the Post, as Flashman says). The quarrel referred to here is probably the one in which Cardigan, in response to a press attack, threatened to assault the editor. For details of this and other incidents, and of Lord Cardigan’s military career, see Cecil Woodham-Smith’
s The Reason Why.
6. Choice of weapons. In fact this did not necessarily rest with the injured party, but was normally settled by mutual agreement.
7. Mr Attwood, M.P. presented the Chartists’ first petition for political reform to the Commons in July 1839. In that year there were outbreaks of Chartist violence; on November 24 people were killed at Newport.
8. Mr Abercrombie’s use of the word “chief” is inexplicable, since Sir Colin Campbell’s command of the 93rd came much later. Of course, Abercrombie may have served with him in Spain.
9. Military service with the East India Company’s regiments was considered socially inferior to service in the army proper, and Flashman must have been conscious of this, which possibly accounts for his casual reference to it. The Company at this time drew its artillery, engineer, and infantry officers from the Addiscombe training establishment; cavalry officers, however, could be appointed direct by the Company’s Directors. Cardigan, who seems to have had a liking for Flashman (his judgement of men, when he condescended to use it, was deplorable) may well have had influence with the Board.
10. The Company did not believe in maintaining houses for transients and visitors; they were expected to find hospitality with British residents or pay their own lodgings.
11. Avitabile, Flashman’s description of this extraordinary soldier of fortune is accurate; the Italian was noted as a stern, just administrator and intrepid soldier.
12. Cotton was the ringleader of the great Rugby School mutiny of 1797, in which the door of the headmaster, Dr Ingles, was blown in with gunpowder.
13. Poor army swords. The sabres issued to British cavalry at this time were notorious for their greasy brass hilts, which turned in the hand.
14. Flashman’s account of Burnes’s murder clears up a point which has troubled historians. Previous versions suggest that the Burnes brothers left the Residency in disguise, accompanied by a mysterious third party who has been described as a Kashmiri Musselman. It has been alleged that this third man actually denounced them to the Ghazis. But Flashman could hardly have betrayed them without considerable risk to himself, so his account is probably the true one.
15. The actual names of these two Afghans remain a mystery. Other accounts call them Muhammed Sadeq and Surwar Khan, but Lady Sale seemes to suggest that one of them was Sultan Jan.
16. Lieutenant-General Colin Mackenzie has left one of the most vivid accounts of the First Afghan War in Storms and Sunshine of a Soldier’s Life (1884).
17. Flashman, like many other European writers, uses the word “Ghazi” as though it referred to a tribe, although he certainly knew better. In arabic “ghazi” is literally a conqueror, but may be accurately translated as hero or champion. Europeans usually render it as “fanatic”, in which connection it is interesting to note the parallel between the Moslem Ghazis and the Christian medieval ideal of knighthood. The Ghazi sect were dedicated to the militant expansion of Islam.
18. Flashman’s account of the retreat tallies substantially with those of such contemporaries as Mackenzie, Lady Sale, and Lieutenant Eyre. This is also true of his version of affairs in Afghanistan generally. His description of McNaghten’s murder, for example, is the fullest and most personal to survive. There are omissions and discrepancies here and there – he does not mention “Gentleman Jim” Skinner’s part in the liaison work with Akbar Khan, for instance – but on the whole he can be regarded as highly reliable within his self-centred limits. Readers seeking wider and more authoritative accounts are recommended to the standard works, which include Kaye’s History of the War in Afghanistan, vol. ii, Fortescue’s History of the British Army, vol, xii, and Patrick Macrory’s admirably clear account, Signal Catastrophe.
19. The “united front” of officers took place at Jugdulluk on January 11, 1842.
20. In fact some prisoners were taken by the Afghans at Gandamack, including Captain Souter of the 44th Regiment, one of two men who wrapped the battalion colours round their bodies (the other man was killed). The picture to which Flashman refers is by W. B. Wollen, R.A., hung at the Royal Academy in 1898.
21. Flashman may be excused an overstatement here. Possibly Sergeant Hudson was a fine swordsman, but this was not usual in the British cavalry; Fortescue in his passage on the Charge of the Heavy Brigade at Balaclava refers to the troopers’ habit of using their sabres as bludgeons. It was not uncommon for a man to use his sabre-hilt as a knuckle-duster instead of cutting or thrusting.
22. Major Henry Havelock. Later famous as the hero of Lucknow, the “stern Cromwellian soldier” became one of the great figures of the Indian Empire.
23. Sale was indeed hailed as a celebrity, but returned to India and was killed at Mudki in 1845, fighting the Sikhs. Shelton’s adventurous career ended when he fell from his horse on parade at Dublin and was killed. Lawrence and Mackenzie both achieved general rank.
24. Flashman saw Ellenborough at his worst. Arrogant, theatrical, and given to flights of rhetoric, the Governor-General went to extravagant lengths to honour the “heroes of Afghanistan”, and was widely ridiculed. But in the main he was an able and energetic administrator.
25. Punch began publication in 1841; the “Pencillings” were its first full-page cartoons.
26. The “Opium War” in China had ended with a treaty whereby Hong Kong was ceded to Britain.
27. The Duke’s reference to the Queen’s impending visit to Walmer Castle fixes the date of Flashman’s appearance at Buckingham Palace very closely. Wellington wrote to Sir Robert Peel on October 26, 1842, assuring him that Walmer was at the Queen’s disposal, and she visited it in the following month.
28. Macaulay’s Lays of Ancient Rome was first published on October 28, 1842.
29. The Queen’s Medal. That Her Majesty was piqued at Lord Ellenborough’s decision to issue medals is evident from her letter to Peel on November 29, 1842.
30. Dr Thomas Arnold, father of Matthew Arnold and headmaster of Rugby School, had died on June 12, 1842, aged 47.
Copyright
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters, and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
Harper
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers
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Hammersmith, London W6 8JB
www.harpercollins.co.uk
First published in Great Britain by Herbert Jenkins Ltd 1969
Copyright © George MacDonald Fraser 1969
George MacDonald Fraser asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library
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Source ISBN: 9780006511250
Ebook Edition © DECEMBER 2011 ISBN: 9780007325689
Version: 2013–09–17
ROYAL FLASH
From The Flashman Papers, 1842–43 and 1847–48
Edited and Arranged by
GEORGE MACDONALD FRASER
Dedication
For Kath, again, and for
Ronald Coleman,
Douglas Fairbanks, jun.,
Errol Flynn,
&nb
sp; Basil Rathbone,
Louis Hayward,
Tyrone Power,
and all the rest of them
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Explanatory Note
Maps
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Appendix I: The Prisoner of Zenda
Appendix II: Lola Montez
Notes
Copyright
Explanatory Note
The second packet of the Flashman Papers—that great collection of manuscript discovered in a saleroom in Leicestershire in 1965—continues the career of the author, Harry Flashman, from the point where the first instalment ended in the autumn of 1842. The first packet described his expulsion from Rugby School in 1839 (as previously referred to in Thomas Hughes’ Tom Brown’s Schooldays) and followed his subsequent military career in England, India, and Afghanistan; the second packet covers two separate periods of several months in 1842–43 and 1847–48. There is an intriguing four-year gap which the author seems to indicate he has covered elsewhere in his memoirs.
The present instalment is of historical importance insofar as it describes Flashman’s encounters with several persons of international celebrity—including one most eminent statesman whose character and actions may now be subjected to some reappraisal by historians. It also establishes a point of some literary interest, for there can be no doubt that a link exists between Flashman’s German adventure and one of the best-selling novels in the Victorian period.
Flashman Papers Omnibus Page 29