by Sara Daniell
“I didn’t mean to ruin your appetite. And yes. Well, I mean, he sounded more scared than mad. I think…” I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know, Uncle Jett. It was really strange. I’ve never seen my mom act like that. And what scared me the most… Aw, man, I shouldn’t be saying this, but she looked at him how she looks at Dad. Like she loved him. But with more feels or whatever.” I shuddered at the thought.
“Don’t go back there, A. You promise? This could cause really bad things to happen.”
“What do you mean? And I don’t plan on going back.” Lie. Total lie.
He sighs heavily, and his dark eyes are serious. “Just don’t. I don’t want to be the one to tell you if your parents haven’t told you. Talk to them if you want answers. All I can say is that this could ruin everything.”
“What do you mean everything? They won’t tell me a fucking thing!” I yell, slamming my fist on the table. “Somebody needs to start explaining!”
He shakes his head and stands up. “Talk to your parents, Aislin.” Uncle Jett then disappears.
Oooh, how I despise magic sometimes. Ridiculous. How in the hell can he just up and leave like that? I deserve answers sooner than later. I mean, I deserved them like yesterday!
Something crazy is going on behind the scenes of my life, and someone is going to explain. They have to.
I GO OUTSIDE and see Mom walking through the garden. She hates the garden, but only because it always messes up her allergies. I assume she’s here because no one will look for her here. She rubs her arms as if warding off a chill.
I scrunch my eyes and make my way over to her. “Mom?”
She startles at the sound of my voice and places her hand on her chest. “Aislin! Oh my God! Don’t just sneak up on someone like that! Especially now.”
I cross my arms over my chest and cut my eyes at her. “You’re never in the garden. What are you hiding from?”
She sits down on a bench and laughs, but it lacks humor. “We know each other too well.”
Yeah, we do, but I mean, come on, really? It would be obvious to a rock that something is seriously messed up.
She pats the spot next to her with a shaky hand. “It’s a long story.”
I look down at my feet and bite my bottom lip. I shouldn’t just blurt out a question. I should give her an opportunity to explain, but I can’t help it. “Who was that guy?” It’s the first thing I’m dying to know.
She shakes her head and looks away from me. She tucks dark strands behind her ears and sits up a bit straighter. “He was a part of my past. A past I’ve been hiding from you.” Tears pool in her eyes, but she quickly wipes them before they can fall.
She clears her throat. “We should go inside.”
“Not until you explain.”
She looks defeated. “I can’t.” She shakes her head.
“Mom! What could be so bad that you can’t talk about it with me? We talk to each other about everything! Imagine how I feel!”
Her eyes shift from me to her feet. “I guess it’s time.”
I scoff. “Ya’ think?”
She smiles softly as tears trickle down her cheeks. “My life was… Rather confusing to say the least. Apparently, there were two of me. Mortal and Fae. When I turned a certain age, they combined. For some reason I can only recall events of my mortal life and life as a Versipellis—which happened by pure accident. I don’t remember anything about my life as a Fae in Gaia. Well, except for the brief time I lived there as a Fae.” She sighs and waves her hand in the air. “Okay—that is way too much to discuss and way too confusing.”
“Confusing or not, I want to know.”
She smirks and nudges me with her shoulder. “Of course you do. God, your father is going to kill me, A.”
She takes a deep breath and looks down at the ground before meeting my eyes again.
“There’s so much that happened that not even I can wrap my mind around. What I’m going to explain to you probably won’t make any sense, but I promise to do my best.” She readies herself with a steadying breath. “On my twentieth birthday, I woke up in Gaia. At that very moment, instead of two, there was only one of me, but I only remembered your father and my life on Earth and in Terre. You have an uncle named Harim, an aunt named Stella, and a grandmother, my Fae mother in Gaia. Cohen was apparently my best friend that I didn’t remember but had feelings for that I couldn’t explain.” She looks at me, her expression grave and longing. A sob escapes her, and she covers her mouth, embarrassed she let it slip. “I miss them, A. I miss them so much!”
My mouth falls open. I’m shocked and not really sure how to handle this. I’ve never seen Mom upset to this magnitude. She’s breaking right in front of me, and since I have no idea what she’s talking about, I don’t know how to sympathize with her.
“Let me get this straight. I have family in Gaia?” She nods her head, wiping at her tears, and I attempt to process the information. “Are they Fae?” She nods again. I raise a brow.
“I’m part Fae, Versipellis, and mortal.” Admitting that to me seems to have taken an elephant off her shoulders.
I stare at her in shock. “What does that make me then?” And just like that, I feel foreign in my own skin. I’ve been lied to my whole life from the people I thought I could trust.
“Honestly, A… I’m not really sure.” She looks over her shoulder and then back at me with wary eyes. “Your father will be home soon. We’ll have talk about this later.”
She stands to her feet, so I quickly stand to mine—stepping in front of her. “But why can’t we finish talking about it now?”
“Your father can’t know we’ve talked about this. I swore to him before you were even born we’d keep this hidden.”
“But that’s not fair!” I scream at her.
Her doleful eyes look toward the castle. “Stop it, A,” she says calmly.
“No! I deserve to know! This affects me too, Mom!” It makes me angry how calm she’s acting when I’m falling apart right in front of her.
Nothing else is said. Absolutely not a damn thing. She avoids me, by walking around me. A cop out. I watch her walk into the house.
I scream at the top of my lungs and kick over a pot of tulips.
There’s this whole life I had no clue about…
Lies…
I can’t—
I can’t believe they’ve kept all of this from me!
I look over at the hosta that separates the garden from a seating area. I walk over and kneel down, trying to keep my anger at bay, but I feel it quickly spiraling out of control.
I pick off a leaf which turns into grabbing handfuls of the greenery and tearing their roots from the dirt. The mess of dirt and plants is fogged by my tears, and the will to stop is completely blurred by my anger.
After each hosta is ripped to shreds, I take steadying breaths while wiping my tears on the back of my trembling hands.
I then use my magic to uproot every plant in the garden.
My tirade isn’t over just yet.
I proceed to use my magic to open every goddamn window of the castle and send the uprooted plants, as well as dirt, flying into the castle.
A storm begins to build; charcoal clouds paint the sky. I look up as rain starts to hit my face and try to will it to stop.
Problemo. It’s not working.
I scream and fall to my knees. I sob into my hands. I’m so angry with my mom for leaving my mind to wonder. I need to know what’s happening.
I run my fingers through my drenched hair and take calming breaths, trying to regain my control.
This is scary. It’s becoming more of an issue to calm down. It’s never been easy but I just spiral out of control lately and can’t shut it off.
Chirp—whisss—eeee—crack.
I turn at the sound and see a bird fallen from a branch into the mud next to me. I concentrate on it instead of my anger and I feel the wind die down and everything just…stop.
“Bird, you just saved me fro
m tearing this whole damn place apart.” I laugh lightly and look around at the damage I caused.
Mom and Dad haven’t said a word to each other since we sat down thirty minutes ago for dinner. I watch as Mom pushes food around on her plate and Dad stares hopelessly at her. I push my plate away from me and look at the clock. I sigh and rest my head on my hand.
“There’s dirt under your chair,” I mention to Dad, wondering why him or Mom haven’t acknowledged the effects my tantrum had on the cleanliness of the castle as well as myself. I should have bathed before dinner.
Dad doesn’t bother to look. He forces a bite of food down his throat instead.
I look at them both. “Should I be worried?” They look at each other but don’t answer me. “You’re going to have to be more convincing than that.” I roll my eyes and ask to be excused. Dad barely gets the word ‘yes’ out, and I leave the table.
I obviously wasn’t going to get anymore answers from Mom, and since Dad couldn’t know she told me, I couldn’t ask him. I’m determined to find the answers myself, even if I don’t like the truth.
INSTEAD OF MY room, I go to the library. My sanctuary, my hiding place, where I find tranquility.
The dim lights from the large chandelier give off a faint glow, and as I move about, dust particles scatter through the air. I turn on my flashlight and scour the shelves trying to find my favorite book.
I point the flashlight upward and huff when I see it’s at the very top. I grab the ladder and make my way up.
Thud-d-d-d-d-d!
I stiffen at the sound of books falling against the floor a few aisles down. I whip my head in that direction, losing my balance.
I feel strong arms around me right before I hit the floor. I breathe out a curse word as my eyes lock on Isaac’s.
“What are you doing here?” I squeak out, scurrying from his arms and stumbling on my feet to catch my balance.
He steadies me. He puts his finger to his lips, grabs my hand, and leads me to the back of the library.
“H-how did you get here?” I nervously shift my eyes, watching for my parents.
“I figured it out.” He furrows his eyebrows and laughs. “Not really sure how, but I did. My dad is going crazy. How’s your mom been acting?”
I fold my arms across my chest. “That’s none of your business.”
“Listen, it took every bit of my strength to keep my dad from coming here! I finally talked him out of it. Do you have any idea what’s going on with those two?”
“Not really. My mom briefly told me a little bit, but she refused to discuss anything further.”
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
I blush when I realize I’m staring. “Sorry. I’ve never seen eyes like yours before. They’re like green. And not just green. Like greeeeen.” I slap my forehead. God, I’m an idiot.
He laughs. “The princess knows her colors. Impressive.”
I roll my eyes. “Bye, Isaac,” I say and start to walk away.
“Wait!” He looks over his shoulder. “Is this a good place to have this conversation?”
I shake my head. “Nowhere in the castle is a good place to have this conversation. However, this is probably the safest place for now. But seriously, Isaac. You should go. Saying bye to you wasn’t an invitation to stay. ”
I try to walk away again, but he ignores my advice and glances at two stools. He brings them to the corner we’re standing in. I start to walk away, but he doesn’t allow it. He places me on a stool against my will, and I lean my back against the wall, defeated.
He takes a seat and looks at me. If he stares at me any more intensely he’ll probably be able to control my mind. What’s his deal? I look away.
A burst of laughter escapes my lips. Out of the corner of my eyes, I watch Isaac’s forehead crease.
“You find this funny?” He seemed annoyed.
“Sorry, I laugh when I’m uncomfortable. Nervous habit.”
He continues to stare at me.
I shift in my seat. “Did you come here to talk or to stare into each other’s eyes in silence? Which you should know, is freaking me out. ” I chew on the inside of my cheek nervously.
I’m not nervous because of Isaac; I’m nervous because I know my mom or dad will be in here looking for me soon since I left dinner pissed off. I continue to feel the sting of his eyes on me.
“Seriously, stop staring like that. Fucking weirdo,” I mumble.
He laughs. When I suspect that he’s stopped looking at me, I look at him only to realize he’s never looked away.
He smiles. “Sorry. I’m trying to figure all of this out. My dad told me stories when I was growing up about a girl he knew. I feel like I know her because that’s how much he talked about her. The girl he talked about is your mom. It’s all just strange. And then he mentioned you, and—”
He goes to say more but stops when we hear footsteps and Dad’s loud, worried voice yelling my name. I look over at Isaac, but he’s not there anymore. I use my magic to send a book flying into my hands. I open it quickly to a random page and start reading.
Dad’s voice gets closer and closer until he’s standing in front of me. “There you are!”
I raise a brow and peek at him over the book. “Yup. Here I am.” I give him a small smile then go back to reading my book. Well, skimming over words.
“I was worried you left again. I went to your room, and you weren’t there. I wanted to come make sure you’re all right. You seemed upset at dinner.”
I set the book down in my lap. “I am upset. What’s going on, Dad?”
“It’s complicated.” He sits down on the stool that Isaac was just sitting on. I try to channel my lucky stars, hoping he won’t be able to sense foreign magic was here just moments ago.
“Your mother admitted that she told you a little bit about what we’ve kept from you.”
“She did? Are you angry with her?”
He shrugged. “Actually, I am. I wanted to protect you from all of this. I wanted to keep you in a bubble and wanted you to live a life without fear. I’ve never known a life like that and always promised myself that my kids wouldn’t live like I did.”
“That sounds great, but it’s not fair, Dad. Just tell me what’s going on. Please.”
“No.”
“Why?” I stomp my foot against the metal bar on the stool.
“Because your life is already complicated enough. I don’t want to make it worse. I want to protect you from reality.”
“Protect me? I call bullshit, Dad! And don’t look at me like that. My colorful vocabulary is more than necessary right now!”
“A, please.”
“No!” I point my finger at him. “Don’t ‘A, please’ me! Tell me! Mom already did, but I want to hear it from you.” Tears fill my eyes. Does he realize how much it hurts me that him and Mom have been hiding all of this from me?
He rubs his temples and closes his eyes. When he’s done taking a few self-convincing breaths, he opens his eyes to look at me.
“What all did your mother tell you?”
“How there were two of her. Mortal and Fae. She said something about her age made them mesh together or something like that.” I stop, trying to remember everything else she said.
“Is that all?”
I shake my head. “No, she also told me I have family in Gaia. A little about…Him,” I say, not mentioning Cohen’s name in fear that Dad would pop a vein in his forehead.
“I see,” Dad says, rubbing his temples again.
“She misses them, Daddy. A lot. I could see the pain in her eyes. Why can’t she see them?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Would everyone stop saying that!”
“No, we won’t, because it is. It’s not something that can be explained easily. Get mad, throw another tantrum, but some things are better unsaid for right now. You have to trust our decisions.”
I stand, stomping my foot. “Trust your decisions?” I say, mocking his
disgruntled tone. “How am I supposed to trust your decisions when I have no idea the reasoning behind them!”
“A…” he says closing his eyes. “You’ve never had a problem trusting me before. Why now do you decide to stop?” He looks at me, pleading that I stop pushing this.
I huff in defeat. “So, it’s true what Mom said. She basically had two lives?” I ask, changing the subject.
He nods.
“That’s insane.”
“It is. And so insane that you have to promise me you won’t go back to Gaia, Sweetheart. It’s dangerous.”
“Dangerous because of Cohen?” I quickly regret the mention of his name when Dad’s eyes fill with fire.
“Just stay away from Gaia.”
I look at my feet. “All right.”
“And Isaac, Cohen’s son, stay away. All right?”
I nod as I slowly lift my eyes from my feet to look at Dad. “I’ll stay away from Gaia and Isaac Aberdeen.”
“Go get some rest. Tomorrow you train with Uncle Jett and Uncle Mason.”
“But, Daaaaad, I already know how to use my magic!”
“But you are still working on fighting with it. And things have been off lately. You will train until we all think you are ready to take on unexpected trouble, which could very well happen since your little escapade to Gaia.”
“Can you explain what trouble I should expect?”
“I can’t explain something that I know nothing about. I don’t know what to expect now, but I do know we need to be prepared. So, you train tomorrow.”
Dad raises a brow at me waiting for my agreement.
“Yes, sir.” I roll my eyes.
He stands. “I really hope this eye-rolling thing is just a faze. I don’t like it, A.”
“I don’t even realize I do it most of the time. Goodnight, Dad.”
“Night, A.”
I HUNCH OVER and place my hands on my knees as I crack up laughing at Uncle Mason, who I just sent flying into the nearby pond. Uncle Jett is laughing silently, but it’s obvious he’s just as tickled as I am by the forceful up-and-down jerking of his shoulders.