by Sara Daniell
We sit in the sand. I pull my knees to my chest and rest my chin on them.
“I’m scared for my family. What if they die because of me? This is all so screwed up. Terre is in danger because of a hidden princess. A half-breed. And when, if, Terre finds out about me, can I honestly blame them for being pissed? I mean, if I felt that my family was in danger because of some kid that could destroy everything, I’d be highly upset too. I would want the threat destroyed.”
“But their predictions aren’t true. You’re learning control. With more time, I think we can prove them all wrong. Then maybe you can live freely and out in the open.”
“I don’t think you’re being realistic, Isaac. I have good days, but more bad days. If one thing sets me off, I cause a huge mess. God, I hate my parents! Why didn’t they just tell me? Why didn’t they help me from a young age?” I sit up and cover my mouth. I can’t believe the word ‘hate’ left my mouth. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
His forehead creases as he scrunches his eyes at me. “Yes, you should have. They were wrong for not being more careful. And then they hid your mom’s pregnancy. They hid you and took a childhood away from you that you will never get back. Instead of preparing you, they lied to you. You have every right to be pissed. I’m furious, A. I have no respect for them.”
I raise a brow. “Excuse me?”
“Come on. You have to realize that you’re not the only one who is mad at them.”
“Of course I’m not the only one, but that doesn’t make it okay for you to talk about them like they are trash!”
Isaac rubs his forehead and sighs. “I didn’t. I was just agreeing with you that what they did was wrong. They could’ve handled it better.”
I stand. “We all make poor decisions. They were just trying to protect me!”
He stands only inches from me. “Oh, yeah? And look where that got you! Now you’re contradicting your own words!”
I want to slap him and scream in frustration. “Don’t get me started on your dad!”
He scoffs and puts his hand to his chest. “My dad? My dad did nothing but love your mom! He could have interfered in your pretend perfect life and put a hell of a kink in your mom and dad’s fairytale, but he didn’t! Even after he found out your father knew the risks of what getting your mother pregnant could cause and didn’t even tell her! Your father is a selfish piece of shit! So, don’t you dare bring my father into this!”
My mouth falls open. I clutch my chest. It feels like my heart has stopped, and I think I forgot how to breathe.
“Aislin, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“My…My dad? He knew?”
“Your uncle Harim and my father did some research after they found out your mother was pregnant.”
I stumble backwards until I’m caught by a large rock. I sit down. “You’re lying. My parents said no one knew about me.”
“My dad and your family here are good at keeping secrets. And they didn’t do it to protect your father, that’s for sure. They wanted to protect your mother and you. Harim and my father have been researching this since the moment they found out about you.”
I start crying. I don’t know what to say or how to control the magic building inside me. This was the problem with my abilities. I lost control when I was upset beyond reason. It doesn’t matter how much progress I make. Until I can get a hold on my emotions, I’ll never be able to have control.
I need to release my frustration, and Isaac needs to move. The waves are getting larger, and the sky is turning dark.
“Shit,” Isaac mumbles under his breath. He touches my shoulder. “A, you have to calm down!”
I hear him, but everything is so out of control; I can’t focus to calm the storm.
“A!” He yells.
No use.
I close my eyes and feel large rain drops splattering against my body. Thunder crashes, and Isaac yells louder.
Isaac’s lips press shockingly against mine. I almost shove him away from me, but to my surprise, it’s a good distraction from my mayhem. My hands grip tightly to the front of his shirt as I kiss him back. He starts to pull away when things start to calm a little, but I don’t let him. “Please, don’t stop,” I beg in a whisper against his lips. “Please.”
He kisses me fiercely. I concentrate fully on his mouth against mine, instead of the anger I feel. As cliché as it may be, Isaac is calming the storm inside of me just from a kiss. Maybe I need him after all. Maybe he’s the control, the balance, I’ve been looking for.
I WAKE UP and notice I’m in dry clothes. I touch my lips, remembering how it felt when Isaac kissed me. If it weren’t for him, there’s no telling what I would’ve destroyed. I roll over, and my eyes widen when I see Dad sitting in a chair across from my bed.
My bed. Oh my god, I’m in my bed in Terre!
“Dad?” I yell as I sit up. The room starts to spin. I try to get out of bed, but Dad comes over and holds me down.
“Calm down.”
I wish people would give up on telling me to calm down. I can’t, dammit. Well, unless I’m in a hot make-out session with a green-eyed boy.
I can feel my magic build as my emotions go crazy, remembering what Isaac told me about my dad. “You knew!”
“A—”
“No!” I wiggle from Dad’s grip and stand. “You knew that getting mom pregnant would risk you having a half-breed! Why would you risk that?”
“A—”
“And you can’t just take me from Gaia! I was doing better there, and we were figuring things out!”
Fear fills me like never before. What will the Regime do if, when, they find out I’ve been taken? What will happen if they tell Terre about my existence?
Mom comes running in and tries to put a cup to my lips. I refuse it, sending the liquid and Mom flying across the room.
I look around and see Jett, Mason, Cohen, Isaac, Uncle Harim, and my grandmother. Their magic builds before mine can hone in and kill them. They thrust magic at me, paralyzing me. All I can do is blink and breathe.
“Isaac, stay away from her! She needs to calm down!” I hear Dad yell.
“She deserves to know what happened last night!” Isaac snaps back.
Isaac comes into view. I think I’m lying down again, but I’m not completely sure.
“We fell asleep at Paradise after you lost control and I,” he looks at Dad and decides not to fill him and everyone else in on the whole story. Smart boy. “Apparently, your storm started in more places than Paradise. You started a storm on Earth, Terre and Gaia at exactly the same time, over the entirety of the worlds.”
Shit.
“There have been prophecies about you,” My grandmother adds as she comes into view, and Isaac moves. “It has always been said that if the half-breed were to be born, when he or she came of age, it would be the end of all worlds. That he or she would be too powerful for their own good and would lose control, causing destruction and devastation to all living creatures.”
Silent tears trickle down my cheeks. I’m not a monster. Or am I?
“There are a lot of rumors spreading. They know you exist, but they don’t know who you are or which Fae and Versipellis committed the sin. But I can assure you that they have it narrowed down, with your mother and father being at the top of the list.”
Grandmother moves, and now Cohen is standing over me.
“We need you to stay as calm as you can. If you don’t, and you lose control, they will find you easier, and they will do everything in their power to kill you,” Cohen says as soothingly as he can.
I can feel their power weakening. Not because they are allowing it to, but because my abilities are naturally fighting against it. I want to calm down, but I can’t. I just hope they can keep their hold on me so no one gets hurt.
I close my eyes and take deep breaths as I try to focus on retaining my magic. I feel like I’m suffocating. Attempting to keep my magic from spinning out of control hurts. My blood feels li
ke it’s boiling, and my skin feels like it’s being pricked by a million tiny needles. I scream out in pain.
Breathe, A. Just breathe, I hear Dad say quietly in my mind.
I feel a hand grab mine and know it’s Mom’s. She grips my hand tightly and strokes my hair. I feel every one’s magic subside and open my eyes. Everyone is staring at me, anticipating the worst. I feel like a caged zoo animal.
“Why now?” I ask, my throat dry and voice scratchy.
“Why now what?” Mom asks.
“Why am I so powerful now? I never had this much power, and I’ve never been so out of control. I’ve been angry before, but it’s never produced a massive storm.”
“As cliché as it sounds, it’s your age, Sweetheart. And you going to Gaia, it awoke your Fae abilities.”
I look at Jett. “That’s what you meant when you said I could ruin everything.”
He nods and looks at Dad when he starts talking.
“We never wanted this side of you awoken. We thought for years that maybe your mother’s Fae blood didn’t make it to you. We also hoped that some of her mortal blood would have balanced things out. We were wrong. We wanted to keep you hidden. Now, it won’t be easy. Damn near impossible, actually.”
I feel anger building again, and my body begins to convulse and burn from trying to hold in my magic.
“If they would have just told you, then you would have avoided Gaia!” Cohen snaps. “What is it with you people and sweeping things under a rug? You did it with Holly and her truth, and now you did it with your own daughter!” Cohen yells, throwing his harsh words at Dad like a sharp blow to the chest.
The muscles in Dad’s jaw tense. “I suggest you leave this room, Cohen.”
Cohen laughs coldly. “Gladly. It’s nauseating being in the same room as you.” He leaves, slamming the door behind him.
I sit up and start rocking back and forth, trying my hardest to block out their bickering. It’s only making things worse for me. I start humming loudly and cover my ears.
I can do this.
I can control my emotions.
I won’t let my anger rule my abilities.
“Stop! All of you!” I hear grandmother yell.
The room falls silent, and I slowly peel my hands from my ears. Hot tears coat my cheeks.
“Mom?” I say weakly. “Sedate me. Now. Please!” I could only keep my magic at bay for so long. I could feel it ripping at my insides to get out.
No time is wasted. They all know what I’m capable of. I gasp from the pain when someone, Mom I think, stabs a syringe into my thigh.
I feel her fingers run through my hair as she lays me back onto something soft. The room is hazy, and my body tingles with a strange warmth. I try to move my fingers to feel if I’m in bed, but they don’t move. I blink a few times at the ceiling.
“Rest, A.”
Mom’s voice sounds like the teacher off Charlie Brown. That cartoon was one of the first things my grandfather on Earth introduced me to when I was five. I want to smile at the memory, but I can’t.
A door closes, I think.
I wish I could sleep. But although the sedation has disabled me for the time being, it’s not enough to make me sleep. I’m just numb.
I can’t live like this. I can’t let those I love keep living like this either. It will only get worse. I am a monster, and it’s out of my control.
I could leave. Maybe if I leave, the focus will be on finding me, and they’ll leave my parents and those involved with me alone. I could eventually let them find me, but hopefully I’d find a way to fix my issues and live freely. Maybe I could learn to live back home between both worlds, and they’d accept me if I could prove myself.
But I can’t do anything to make things better here. The tension is too high. Running away. It’s the best plan I’ve got.
Tomorrow, I’m out of here.
I TIPTOE AROUND in the water at Paradise, careful not to get my dress wet. I really want to trash the damn thing, but Mom would be furious. She told me I needed to be dressed to impress. She said if I was dressed like a slouch, it’d suggest carelessness. I think her logic is bullshit, considering my plan to leave today, but I couldn’t argue with her and chance arousing suspicion.
“You know, it’s not safe for you to be here.”
I smile. I’m insane for being here and would be in deep shit when everyone found out I wasn’t in Terre. But did it even matter anymore? I’m leaving.
I look at Isaac with a guitar thrown over his shoulder.
“Nothing’s safe when it comes to me, that’s why you shouldn’t be here. Besides I thought you were in Terre.”
“I came home last night to take care of a few things.”
“Oh. So, what’s up with the guitar?” I walk into the sand and wiggle my toes in its warmth.
“I came to clear my head. Play a little.” He grabs the strap and moves the guitar until it’s in front of him. He strums a few cords while he grins at me. He stops and taps his index finger against it.
“Don’t stop just because I’m here.”
His lips curl up in the left corner. “I didn’t plan on it.” He takes the strap off his shoulder and rests the guitar against a tree.
He walks over to me, and I back away from him until my back is against a tree. He continues to stalk toward me until his body is almost touching mine.
“You know we can’t do this.” I try to avoid his eyes that draw me in and make me forget how to think logically.
He touches my lips with his fingertips, and my eyes close.
“A, it’s a little too late to tell me to stay away from you. And if you knew what you did to me when you pleaded for me to keep kissing you when you lost control, you would know that staying away from you is impossible now, no matter the risks.”
Tell him to leave. Tell him you’re leaving. Don’t you dare say what’s about to come out of your mouth.
“Then why are we still talking?” I smile against his fingertips and open my eyes to look at him. I shouldn’t have said what I did, but I refuse to take it back. I want his lips on mine, stat.
His lips teasingly graze against mine. “Exactly what I was thinking.”
I smile a little. “No more talking, Isaac.”
His lips can’t make it to mine quick enough. My entire body craves his. I love how being in his arms with his lips moving perfectly against mine can make me forget who I am, this …monster, and all the chaos in my life. Leaving him today will hurt the most.
He pulls away after stealing a few more quick kisses. “I better get you back before they come looking for you.”
I look at his guitar and point. “Not until you play that for me.” I have to steal a little more time with him.
He laughs. “Later. Come on; I’ll get you home. The last thing you need right now is being in trouble with your parents.”
“I’m not going back to Terre, Isaac.”
“What? So you’re staying here then?”
I shake my head.
“What do you mean no? Wait—dammit! No. You’re not running away!”
I shrug half-heartedly and do my best to avoid looking at him. I can’t bare seeing the hurt in his eyes.
“Bullshit! No! A, I won’t let you—”
“You don’t have a choice, Isaac!” I shout. “I’m the one causing the problems! I have to disappear! Figure shit out away from all of this!”
You stupid, stupid girl for telling him.
“Let’s runaway together,” he says frantically.
“Are you serious? No. No way, Isaac. Not happening.”
“I could help you—”
I hold up my hand to stop him from talking. “No.” I shake my head. “I have to deal with the consequences of who I am. Alone.”
“Your parents are the ones who have to deal with that, not you! A, don’t you see, none of this is your fault? When will you stop trying to fix everything?”
“It doesn’t matter who is at fault! It doesn’t change
a damn thing about who I am and what I’m capable of!” I can feel my magic brewing inside me. It’s only a matter of time before I lose control again. “Isaac, please leave,” I clench my jaw as I try to fight against it.
“I’m going to just follow you.” I feel his hands on my face.
I move so I’m against him, my head on his chest. I concentrate on his heart beating as my tears soak his shirt. I want him to stay in Gaia and forget about me, but I’m selfish. I need him by my side through whatever I’m about to face.
“You might die,” I say against his chest.
“I don’t care.”
I look up at him, and he wipes my tears. “You know you’re making a really stupid decision, right?” As I calm down, the power building inside me subsides.
“Mmm hmm.” He kisses my forehead. “But it’s my stupid decision to make.”
Was I honestly going to let him go? Probably not. But it felt good to bask in this short lived fairytale that the boy I was falling for was going to run away into the sunset with me.
Reality sucks hardcore.
I look at Isaac’s guitar. “So, before we make a run for it, will you play that for me?”
He nods, sits down on a large piece of driftwood and motions for me to sit on his knee. I sit facing him, and tears fill my eyes. He sincerely cares for me, and I’m about to crush him.
He starts playing, and I close my eyes, getting lost in the melody. I lean in to kiss him, and he stops playing.
“Goodbye, Isaac,” I whisper against his lips, and before he can argue, I teleport myself to Earth and immediately use my abilities to keep anyone from tracking me and lock the passage.
If my plan works, the Regime and Versipellis of Terre will be in search of me and focus on that instead of harming anyone. If I can’t figure out how to fix the monster inside, I’ll even make it easy for them, eventually let them find me and do what they will, under one condition. They leave my family alone.
I’m making the rules now.
Everything was going to be—
I scream as Dad’s voice makes it through my mind, even though I blocked him.
A, I hear faintly in my mind.